
XAND: A Civilised Solution to Barbarism
The provided text is an excerpt from "The XAND Manifesto," a highly satirical and pedantic essay by Geoffrey Pemberton-Smythe concerning the perceived failures of modern linguistic usage. The author declares a humorous, relentless war against the common conjunction "and/or," which he condemns as a "coward's conjunction" that introduces intolerable ambiguity and represents linguistic capitulation. To remedy this perceived error, the manifesto introduces the replacement conjunction "XAND" (pronounced 'zand'), an exclusive-or term borrowed loosely from Boolean logic and imbued with intended British pretension. Pemberton-Smythe encourages readers to adopt this term immediately, arguing that its usage is a mark of refined sophistication, even while humorously noting its implementation has resulted in professional ostracism and domestic turmoil. Overall, the essay employs an exaggerated, self-important tone to mock overly rigid grammatical fixes and the inherent ambiguity of everyday language.
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