Episode 88: Avatar - The Third Annual Golden Sheila© Awards: December 18, 2009

“If it bleeds we can kill it.” Listen, Arnie, you may be able to take down the Predator, but you CAN’T take down Gene Shalit! That ‘stache don’t bleed!Yes, it’s been a loooong wait, but the boys are back to warm up your fall pumpkin lattes with…hot summer movies! This week the guys hop back to Summer 1987 to revisit Jack Nicholson and THE WITCHES OF EASTWICK, Paul Verhoeven’s satirical sci-fi gore-fest, ROBOCOP, Costner and crew as THE UNTOUCHABLES, and the man-meat testosterone-filled jungle that is PREDATOR. You pull a knife, Sean Connery, we pull Episode 98. THAT’S the Opening Weekend way!

“E.T. phone Zmed!”It’s the summer of ‘82 and Jason, Dan, & Fred are lining up outside the movie theater to see the most anticipated movie of the year…GREASE 2! Also, there was apparently a movie about an alien called E.T. THE EXTRA-TERRESTRIAL that people liked, too. Jason is getting sued for Smurf copyright-infringement; Olivia Newton John is helping Dan get Physical…with himself; and Fred is stealing magic balls and slicing up fetal pigs…ya know, your typical early tween summer in the 80s. Let’s bowl, let’s bowl, let’s rock and roll with EPISODE 97 of OPENING WEEKEND! 

Up from the depths, 30 stories high,  breathing fire, his head in the sky…GENE SHALIT?!? No, it’s just the three big openers from May 22, 1998: Terry Gilliam’s fever dream adaptation of Hunter S. Thompson’s FEAR AND LOATHING IN LAS VEGAS, the Warren Beatty political satire BULWORTH, and the Roland Emmerich disaster….movie…?….GODZILLA!It’s the spring of ‘98, and while Fred is playing on subway platforms to strangers, Dan is playing on stages to no one, and Jason is playing in bathrooms with EVERYONE. Beatty is rapping, Depp is ranting, and the audience for Godzilla ‘98 is retching. Roland Emmerich, you Swine! Get ready to go Gonzo for EPISODE 96 of OPENING WEEKEND!

“There was an idea, to bring together a group of three mildly remarkable nerds to see if they could become something more. So when we needed another movie podcast, they could hand-fart the Superhero songs that we never could.” Opening Weekend fans…ASSEMBLE! It’s a Summer Superhero Smorgasbord as the boys head back to 2012 to revisit Andrew Garfield’s take on THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN, Christopher Nolan’s trilogy topper, THE DARK KNIGHT RISES, and the MCU Mothership,THE AVENGERS! And if you thought Gotham had a reckoning, wait until you FINALLY hear all about Fred’s failed colonoscopy in the greatest post-credits scene ever. HULK SMASH EPISODE 95 of OPENING WEEKEND!

If you’re looking for something soft, round, succulent, and covered with just the right amount of fuzz, you’ve come to the right place! No, this isn’t the new Grindr podcast, it’s EPISODE 94 of OPENING WEEKEND! This week the boys head back to April 12, 1996 to revisit the David O. Russell/Ben Stiller black comedy FLIRTING WITH DISASTER and the animated film version of the Roald Dahl classic, JAMES AND THE GIANT PEACH. And don’t worry, there’s not one single mention of Fred’s failed colonoscopy!

“You’re killing me, Smalls!” Spring has sprung, the bases are loaded, and Robert Redford is paying Demi Moore a million dollars to take him out to the Ball game…HEY OH!!! It’s April 7th, 1993 and the boys are slidin’ into home at THE SANDLOT and heading out to Vegas to make an INDECENT PROPOSAL.  As Shakespeare once wrote, “Exit pursued by Rip Taylor and a Hippo.”  We’ll pay you a million dollars to listen to EPISODE 93 of OPENING WEEKEND!

“Children of the Corn? I don’t remember eating Children of the Corn?” It’s March 9, 1984 and while Ms. Channing picks through her poop searching for bits of Malachai, the boys will be checking in to THE HOTEL NEW HAMPSHIRE, getting fishy with SPLASH, and walkin’ behind the rows with, yes, Stephen King’s CHILDREN OF THE CORN. Don’t hold it in anymore, Fred, ‘cus Jason and Dan are rollin’ like Fonda (it’ll all make sense) on Episode 92 of OPENING WEEKEND! 

And we can build this dream together, standing strong together, nothing’s gonna stop Opening Weekend now! It’s been a while, but the boys are back and revisiting February 13, 1987 to go OVER THE TOP with Sly Stallone and come alive like a MANNEQUIN making love to Andrew McCarthy. And they’ll talk about some movies, too! As Kenny Loggins once said, “Meet me halfway, across this guy….” with a Gabe Kaplan-adjacent new episode of OPENING WEEKEND!

 This week the boys dive into May-December romances, High School regrets, and eating dog food with Nick Nolte. And then they start talking about movies! In January ‘86, Robin Williams and Kurt Russell were reminiscing about THE BEST OF TIMES, Sally Field and James Garner were engaging in MURPHY’S ROMANCE, and our good pals Nick Nolte and Richard Dreyfuss were getting DOWN AND OUT IN BEVERLY HILLS. To quote the Punky QB known as McMahon, “We’re not here to start no trouble, we’re just here to do the Opening Weekend Episode 90 Shuffle!”

LET IT RAIN, STILLERPALOOZA!  That’s right, it’s 2004 and it’s all Stiller all the time! This week the boys head back to January 2004 to revisit that month’s Big Ben Opener (Hey oh!), ALONG CAME POLLY, as well as two other Stiller-led movies from that same year: STARSKY & HUTCH and DODGEBALL: A TRUE UNDERDOG STORY.  Just like Patches O’Houlihan always said, “If you can dodge a wrench you can dodge Episode 89 of OPENING WEEKEND!” WHITE CHOCOLATE!