Why Conversations Go Wrong

Do you ever struggle to communicate with your mom? Or feel like you and your spouse sometimes speak different languages? This week, we revisit a favorite conversation with linguist Deborah Tannen. She shows how our conversational styles can cause unintended conflicts, and what we can do to communicate more effectively with the people in our lives. Then, in an all-new installment of "Your Questions Answered," Emma Levine responds to your questions and stories about the psychology of lying. What should you do when you achieve a big goal, but it doesn't bring the satisfaction or happiness you thought it would? Check out our latest YouTube video for ideas about getting out of this sort of rut. And make sure to subscribe so you don't miss any of Shankar's upcoming videos.  Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Have you ever had a flash of insight that hit you when you least expected it? How did it change your life? Psychologist Anthony Klotz studies the "jolts" that shake us out of our routines, and how these moments can help us make more intentional decisions about the people we want to become. Then, psychologist Ap Dijksterhuis returns to the show to answer your questions about a very specific kind of jolt: creative breakthroughs.What are the signs that it might be time to leave your job? In a bonus conversation for Hidden Brain+ subscribers, Anthony Klotz talks with us about when it makes sense to quit, and why so many people who do quit regret not doing so sooner. If you're not yet a Hidden Brain+ subscriber, you can access a free seven-day trial at support.hiddenbrain.org or apple.co/hidden brain.  Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

From childhood, we're taught that honesty is the best policy. Yet in everyday life, we hedge, soften our words, and leave things unsaid. This week, we talk with psychologist Steven Pinker about why indirect speech is such a fundamental part of human relationships.  How long can you stay focused on a task before your attention is drawn elsewhere? In our latest YouTube video, we explore what the science says about our shrinking attention spans, and how you can begin to reclaim your focus.      Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Think about the last time a piece of music stopped you in your tracks, or a novel kept you up late at night. Why do these experiences feel so powerful? Psychobiologist Daisy Fancourt says engagement with the arts can help to regulate our emotions, build resilience, and support long-term well-being. She joins us to talk about this research, and to share practical ways to bring more creativity into our everyday lives.  Once you've listened to this episode, be sure to check out our companion conversation, "The Healing Arts," on Hidden Brain+. In that episode, Daisy shares how the arts are being incorporated into healthcare, and how these interventions are shaping patient outcomes. If you're not yet a Hidden Brain+ subscriber, you can listen with a free seven-day trial by going to support.hiddenbrain.org or apple.co/hiddenbrain.  Did you know that physicians once treated feelings of nostalgia as an illness? We explore how our understanding of nostalgia has evolved over the last several hundred years on our new YouTube channel. Check it out, and be sure to subscribe so you don't miss any of our upcoming videos.      Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

When we look at the people we love, how clearly do we really see them? This week, we talk with psychologist Edward Lemay about how our fears, desires, and insecurities can shape our perceptions of our partners — sometimes creating the very reality we expect. He explains how we can learn to see our partners in ways that create greater trust and connection. Then, Sonja Lyubomirsky answers your questions about the gap between being loved and feeling loved, in our latest installment of "Your Questions Answered." If you enjoy listening to Hidden Brain, we think you'll enjoy watching it as well! Subscribe to our new YouTube channel at youtube.com/@hiddenbrain so you don't miss any of our videos.   Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Some people are remarkably good at reading the emotional temperature of a situation. They can pick up on what others are feeling, manage their own emotions, and respond skillfully. What's their secret? This week, we explore the science of emotional intelligence with psychologist Peter Salovey.  Emotional intelligence is one of the most popular ideas in psychology. It's also a term that's widely misused and misunderstood. We explore these misconceptions in a bonus conversation with Peter Salovey for Hidden Brain+ subscribers. If you're not yet a subscriber, you can hear it with a free seven-day trial to Hidden Brain+. Please visit support.hiddenbrain.org or apple.co/hiddenbrain to listen to that episode. Your subscription helps support the research, writing, and audio production that go into every episode of Hidden Brain. We appreciate your support!    Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

When you're learning, or trying new things, you're going to make mistakes. The trick is to try to fail in a way that gives you useful information. This week, we revisit a favorite conversation with researcher Amy Edmondson. She explains the difference between constructive failures and those we should try to avoid. Then, John Dinsmore answers listener questions about the psychology of debt, in our latest installment of Your Questions Answered. Ever wondered how your parents' and grandparents' attitudes toward money shapes your financial decisions? Check out our latest YouTube video to learn more about the hidden financial behaviors you inherited from your family.  Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Stories about unlikely heroes have captivated people for thousands of years. This week, social scientist Ben Rogers explores why the "hero's journey" resonates so deeply, and how the stories we tell about our own lives can shape our sense of purpose. He explains why seeing ourselves as the protagonists of our own stories may help us face challenges with greater confidence. Then, on Your Questions Answered, psychologist Jay Van Bavel returns to respond to listeners' comments and questions about group identities.  Interested in learning how to discover the hero's journey in your own life story? Ben Rogers shares practical tips in a companion conversation for Hidden Brain+. That episode is titled "Discovering Your Inner Hero.” If you're not yet a Hidden Brain+ subscriber, you can get a free seven-day trial at support.hiddenbrain.org. If you're using an Apple device, go to http://apple.co/hiddenbrain. Thanks for listening and supporting the show! What does economic inequality do to our minds? In our latest YouTube video, we explore the psychology of social comparison. Check it out, and be sure to subscribe to our channel so you don't miss any of our upcoming videos!  Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Pain feels like a simple message from the body. If your elbow hurts, there must be something wrong with your elbow. If your back is painfully stiff, you need some work done on your back. But psychologist Rachel Zoffness says our minds play a much larger role in our experience of pain than many of us realize. This week, we look at what's really happening when we experience pain, and how a better understanding of this process can open up new possibilities for treatment and healing.  In our companion conversation for Hidden Brain+ subscribers, Rachel Zoffness goes deeper into techniques that can help to reduce our brains' sensitivity to pain. You can hear that episode, which is called "Plastic Brain, Changeable Brain," with a free seven-day trial to Hidden Brain+. Go to support.hiddenbrain.org or apple.co/hiddenbrain to access your trial subscription. For more Hidden Brain ideas and insights, be sure to check out our new YouTube channel! And don't forget to subscribe so you don't miss any of our upcoming videos.    Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

As we move through the world, it's easy to imagine we're processing everything that happens around us and then deciding how to respond. But psychologist and neuroscientist Norman Farb says our brains actually navigate the world by coming up with mental maps. These maps act like an autopilot system, allowing us to navigate our lives more efficiently. But sometimes, they can lead us astray, leaving us stuck on a path of negativity and unhappiness. This week, in a favorite episode from 2024, we talk with Norman Farb about how we can update our internal maps and see the world more clearly. Then, Dave Evans answers your questions about radical acceptance. If you love listening to Hidden Brain, you can now watch it as well! Check out our new YouTube channel, and be sure to subscribe so you don't miss any of our upcoming videos. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.