Becoming a self-healer
In this deeply personal conversation, I sit down with Carolina Ramirez to explore what happens when parenting stops being a journey of “fixing” our children and becomes an invitation to heal ourselves. Carolina shares her experience as a Latina therapist, neurodivergent mother, and spiritual guide. Together, we talk about intuition, surrender, masking, productivity culture, systemic oppression, and the transformative power of meeting our children’s needs without shame or fear. This episode is about reclaiming your inner voice, trusting your child, and discovering that often healing is about returning home to yourself.
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TRANSCRIPT:
Becoming a Self-Healer — Transcript
In today’s episode, I’m talking with Carolina Ramirez. Carolina is a spiritual therapist, coach, and guide for women and mothers doing deep inner healing work and reconnecting with their truth. She is especially passionate about supporting Latina women and women of color in reclaiming their power, breaking intergenerational cycles, and mothering themselves and their children with intention.
I know many of you are going to recognize pieces of your own story in this conversation. I felt deeply witnessed and inspired by Carolina’s honesty, wisdom, and vulnerability.
And while we’re talking about this deep work, I also want to let you know that enrollment is opening for the next round of my Restore Your Soul Mastermind. This is for those of you who feel burned out, exhausted, and stretched thin by parenting—those moments where you wonder, “What about me? What about my needs? What about the deep rumblings inside of me?”
It’s called Restore Your Soul for a reason. We go deep into what makes you feel alive, connected, grounded, and vibrant in this world. To me, that is soul work. It’s a six-month intensive with regular group meetings, deep community support, and a virtual retreat weekend where you can nurture yourself and reconnect with who you are.
I absolutely love leading these groups, and I would love to have you there if it feels aligned. You can find more information in the show notes.
All right—let’s get into my conversation with Carolina.
Amanda:I’m really eager to hear more about your journey—especially your parenting journey. You’ve shared before that there was a time when your primary question was, “How do I fix this?” And then something shifted, and you began asking, “How is this affecting me? What expectations am I carrying about myself and my child?”
I want to go back to that turning point because so many parents get stuck in fix-it mode. Can you share more about what led you there?
Carolina:I think there was this huge dissonance between what I thought autism and ADHD meant and the reality of my child.
Coming from my background as a therapist, I had worked with autistic children before, many with high support needs, and so when I was told my son was autistic, I immediately pictured this life of suffering and limitation. I hate to say that, but that was the image I had absorbed from media, from society, from fear-based narratives.
I was terrified.
So I did what so many loving parents do: I followed the experts. I threw myself into therapies and interventions and over-functioning. I thought if I just did enough, worked hard enough, fixed enough, then everything would get better.
But I became completely depleted. And the more I pushed, the worse things got. My son was still dysregulated. He was still melting down. Nothing we were doing was actually helping him thrive.
Eventually I had this moment where I realized: maybe the experts aren’t right about my child.
Maybe I’m looking at him through a deficit lens.
And maybe what he actually needs is the opposite of more pressure.
That realization changed everything. I started listening to my intuition, and honestly, my intuition had been trying to tell me all along: this is not the way.
Amanda:Absolutely. When I think about my own “high-demand Amanda” phase, it came from the same place—fear, pressure, trying to meet all these expectations about what a good parent should do.
What changes when we stop trying to fix our kids and instead turn inward with curiosity?
Carolina:It’s empowering.
When we become curious instead of controlling, we begin trusting ourselves again. We start realizing that we actually know our children deeply. We are attuned to them in ways no expert can ever fully be.
I truly believe our children come into our lives for a reason. There’s a spiritual connection there. And when I stopped forcing my agenda onto my son and started simply being with him—meeting him where he was—I saw him soften. I saw him become calmer, happier, more himself.
He wasn’t necessarily becoming what society expected him to be, but he was thriving.
And honestly? He became my greatest teacher.
He taught me surrender. He taught me authenticity. He taught me that maybe the point of life isn’t productivity or perfection. Maybe it’s learning how to truly be.
Amanda:You talk so beautifully about intuition and reconnecting to ourselves. What disconnects us from that inner knowing in the first place?
Carolina:So much of it starts in childhood.
I grew up in an immigrant family where survival and achievement were everything. There was trauma, poverty, chaos—and I learned very early that being “good” and “perfect” was how I stayed safe.
I became the overachiever. The productive one. The responsible one.
But in the process, I lost touch with myself.
And I think so many of us experience that. We receive messages from family, culture, school, capitalism, ableism—all telling us our value comes from productivity and performance.
We forget that our worth exists simply because we are.
That disconnects us from our intuition. From our soul.
Amanda:What did it look like to rediscover yourself while actively parenting through really hard situations?
Carolina:Honestly? It was messy.
I really believe parenting initiates us.
All of the challenges—school struggles, aggression, burnout, fear—they become invitations. They crack us open. They force us to ask deeper questions about who we are and what actually matters.
For me, the hardest moments became turning points.
My son was being labeled negatively at school from a very young age. His nervous system distress was being interpreted as intentional bad behavior. We were being rejected by systems over and over again.
And yes—it hurt deeply. I cried many nights.
But eventually I realized: maybe this path isn’t failing. Maybe it’s redirecting me.
Maybe my soul is asking for something different.
That perspective changed everything for me. Instead of asking, “How do I get back to the life I thought I was supposed to have?” I started asking, “How do I radically accept what is in front of me?”
And through meeting my son’s needs, I started meeting myself again.
That’s what parenting has been for me—a journey back home to myself.
Amanda:I love that so much because I think when we truly become ourselves, it ripples outward far beyond our kids. The world needs us authentic and alive.
As we close, I’d love to hear your thoughts on intersectionality and healing—especially as a neurodivergent Latina woman navigating all these overlapping systems.
Carolina:Intersectionality taught me to stand in my truth.
For a long time, being Latina and neurodivergent made me feel like I had to shrink myself. I felt like I constantly had to prove my worth.
I only identified my ADHD and self-identified as autistic recently, even though the signs were always there. My son’s diagnosis helped me finally see myself clearly.
Now I see those identities not as limitations, but as gifts.
My culture, my language, my experiences growing up in Brooklyn—all of it shaped me. Some parts were beautiful. Some parts were deeply painful. But together they created the person I am today.
And I want other women—especially neurodivergent women of color—to know that they are not broken. They are not “less than.” They are powerful, insightful, creative, and deeply needed in this world.
Amanda:I’m so grateful for this conversation and for the way you’re sharing your story so openly. I know there are going to be listeners who feel seen for the very first time through your words.
Thank you for being here.
