we're too old for this

it’s another chaotic week on Delusional Diaries! the girls are packing for back-to-back trips, from Maddie’s Cabo bachelorette to a very convenient brand trip that just so happens to be in Cabo. they talk bachelorettes, friend group dynamics, and why mixing people from different chapters of your life is always a wild experiment.from party floors destroyed by heels to the great “SATC shoe debate,” they reflect on their Halloween weekend, the aftermath of too much tequila, and how hangovers hit way harder now, sparking a full conversation about growing out of the “every weekend” phase and choosing soft life nights in over blacking out. they also come to their shared realization that maybe mocktails shouldn’t cost the same as cocktails. the episode takes its usual chaotic turn with a cozy winter rant: daylight savings depression and the girls’ love-hate relationship with the holidays. they get into pop culture deep dives, from Lily Allen and David Harbour drama to People’s Sexiest Man Alive and the celebrity edits they can’t stop watching. by the end, they’re debating whether singers are ever sexy, laughing at actor crushes, and ending on the most unserious note possible: Halley watching football on a plane just to calm her anxiety. it’s unfiltered, funny, and weirdly therapeutic: just two girls overthinking life, love, and pop culture with zero structure and maximum serotonin.Timestamps 0:19 - Not time to be sick 5:18 - Halloween 17:35 - Driving diaries 25:01 - Actors IRL 32:30 - Atlanta for the day 36:59 - Online stalker 38:29 - What do you want to be when you grow up 43:53 - People’s Sexiest Man AliveLinksChime - chime.com/diariesQuince - quince.com/delusional for free shipping and 365 day returnsUncommon Goods - uncommongoods.com/diaries for 15% off Wayfair - wayfair.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

after the travel day from hell, Halley and Jaz are back in New York, and they’re back behind the mic to tell the tale. this week’s episode of Delusional Diaries takes you inside their 12-hour flight delay, Detroit detour, and the chaotic mission to make it home in time for their Halloween party. from near meltdowns at TSA to accidentally exiting the airport mid-delay (rookie mistake), the girls relive every delusional moment with unfiltered honesty and way too much laughter.once they finally touch down, it’s back to business: 36 bottles of tequila delivered at 7 a.m., party prep chaos, and a rare beauty event that turned into a bidding war against Benny Blanco (spoiler: they lost). between horror travel stories, spray tan small talk, and gym class trauma, Halley and Jaz unpack the kind of week that makes you question your sanity and still somehow laugh about it.they wrap up with some classic chaos: friendship growth, separate bedrooms in marriage, childhood lies, and the eternal debate: do you ever really “go to bed angry”? it’s the perfect mix of airline rage, emotional regulation, and delusional girl therapy. buckle up (literally), this one’s turbulence from start to finish.Timestamps 0:17 - Travel day from hell 15:20 - A short trip to LA 22:38 - The NYC Marathon 28:35 - Light sleepers 32:10 - Relationship questions and winter uglies 39:55 - Dress codes 43:09 - Our biggest lies as kids Links Uncommon Goods: https://www.uncommongoods.com/diaries use code diaries for 15% off Download Cash App Today: https://click.cash.app/ui6m/8u4300cq #CashAppPod. Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App’s bank partner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. See terms and conditions at https://cash.app/legal/us/en-us/card-agreement. Discounts and promotions provided by Cash App, a Block, Inc. brand. Visit http://cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

It’s Halloween on Delusional Diaries… which means cheap wigs, chaos, and way too many confessions. Halley and Jaz kick off the episode dressed as the Timothée Chalamet x Pete Davidson SNL duo, spiraling about bedside manner, Yelp reviews, and why bad Amazon wigs might actually be a cursed tradition at this point.From Jaz’s Bottega meltdown in Madrid (and the boldest “move forward” gaslight ever) to Halley’s questionable life choices that somehow always work out in her favor, the girls are in their unfiltered storytelling era. They’re talking eating dog treats out of desperation, blocking trolls with “almond daughter” usernames, and why sharing snacks with your boyfriend should be considered psychological warfare.Then it’s Halloween nostalgia, space cowgirl flashbacks, and a few hot takes about certain activities in the shower, bad costumes, and the “stay in for your future husband” pick-me epidemic. Whether you’re getting ready to go out tonight or staying in with a bottle of wine, this episode will have you laughing, cringing, and texting your best friend mid-listen.Timestamps 0:20 - Happy Halloween from yours truly 4:02 - Bitching hour 11:40 - Standing 10 toes down 22:13 - Jaz’s limo and birthdays27:26 - The block of the week 33:16 - Reading and other hobbies 37:40 - All things Halloween 48:27 - The Halloween party LinksWayfair: wayfair.com See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

this week on Delusional Diaries, Halley and Jaz unpack a rollercoaster of chaos: from mourning a literal sauce that was discontinued to a rundown of their time at the Victoria’s Secret fashion show pink carpet. this episode mixes glam & the chaos of the real world like never before, showing that at the end of the day, we all go through the same things, despite our differences.the girls then switch gears to other territories: fitness routines and solidcore playlists. between botox updates, home renovations, and pink carpet glam, Halley and Jaz reflect on how surreal it is to be front row at a fashion show one minute and crying in an elevator the next. that’s real life, and they’re not sugarcoating any of it.they wrap the episode with some tough-love advice for a listener whose best friend can’t stop obsessing over her ex. the verdict? you can’t save someone who doesn’t want to be saved. This episode is chaotic, comforting, and so them… the kind of episode you’ll want to have playing while you do your skincare or spiral on the couch. Timestamps 0:16 - The day started off good… 2:22 - Fast food reviews 7:12 - Our first dates with Reed & Kevin9:06 - The VS Fashion Show 26:23 - Halley’s new purchase 32:55 - Newest insecurity36:10 - Botox and babies 39:40 - Advice to our follower LinksDime Beauty - DimeBeauty.com and get 20% off your first order with code PODCAST20Winx - hellowinx.com/delusional for 25% offwayfair  - wayfair.com DISCLAIMER: Part of the recorded Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show segment in this episode is presented in partnership with VS PinkSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

after some tough days separated from each other, this week on Delusional Diaries, Halley and Jaz are back and as unfiltered as ever: kicking things off with workout confessions, liposuction ultimatums, and the anxiety-inducing chaos of showing up late to a class for the first time ever. between accountability pacts and post-gym soreness, the girls dive into the unglamorous side of “getting it together” while keeping it real (and hilarious) about body image, burnout, and self-motivation.then, things get storytime-level juicy: Halley recaps her dreamy trip across London and Copenhagen, complete with vintage shopping, hotel surprises, and airport drama that had her going to war (verbally) with line-cutters. Jaz shares her TSA horror story and why sometimes principle is all that matters, while both reflect on love, long-distance friendship, and more…rounding it out, the girls get chatty about Kris Jenner’s facelift, the return of the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show, and the never-ending New York winter blues. from AI conspiracies to apartment glow-ups and kitchen haters, it’s a full catch-up episode of chaos, confidence, and everything you could dream of: the ultimate comfort listen for anyone who loves a good rant, a little delusion, and a lot of laughter!Timestamps 0:16 - Jaz’s confession7:05 -  The most amount of time we ever spent apart 14:04 - The flight back and airport horror stories 27:10 - Hypotheticals 33:04 - Winter scaries 35:37 - Block block block 45:22 - Bitching hour47:13 - Face lifts and VS Fashion Show 50:45 - Childhood jealousy LinksChime - Open an account in 2 minutes at chime.com/diariesWinx - hellowinx.com/delusional for 25% off Cash App - use code “THATSMONEY10” , and get $10 dropped into your account when you order and activate your Cash App Card and send $5 or more to a friend within your first 14 daysDownload Cash App Today: https://click.cash.app/ui6m/8u4300cq #CashAppPod. Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App’s bank partner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. See terms and conditions at https://cash.app/legal/us/en-us/card-agreement. Direct Deposit, Overdraft Coverage and Discounts provided by Cash App, a Block, Inc. brand. Visit http://cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures.Wayfair - wayfair.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Halley and Jaz are back on the couch and kicking off with a classic b**ching hour, and this one gets personal. after an awkward follower encounter at the grocery store turns into an unsolicited reddit recap, Jaz opens up about how far she’s come in setting boundaries with online chatter, and how quickly a stranger can send her spiraling back into old habits. from the weirdness of parasocial relationships to realizing how exhausting constant public perception can be, the girls talk anxiety, attention, and why sometimes it’s okay to say “I don’t owe anyone a response.”the chaos continues as Jaz discovers the power (and curse) of coffee, and the duo spiral into caffeine-induced madness. between late-night hangouts that accidentally turn into 3 a.m. adventures, sensory phobias of bumpy pumpkins, and fall weekend recaps, it’s peak Delusional Diaries energy, a little bit manic, a little too honest, and somehow still therapeutic.but it’s not all rants and pumpkin panic, Halley’s prepping for a dreamy Europe trip through London and beyond, Jaz is plotting a honeymoon redo after her first attempt, and both are reflecting on independence, relationships, and what it means to actually grow up online. by the end, they’ve covered everything from medical insurance meltdowns to squishmallow basements: proving once again that delusion, some b**ching, friendship, and a good laugh can fix just about anything.Timestamps 0:22 - Starting with a Bitching hour 6:36 - Jaz and coffee13:30 - Biggest phobias 15:07 - Upcoming plans 29:24 - Relationship attachments 39:41 - Jaz’s honeymoon & Delta points 46:02 - And ending with Bitching hour Links Nuuly: code delusional for $28 off your first month nuuly.comWayfair: wayfair.comWinx: hellowinx.com/delusional for 25% off Quince: Quince.com/delusional for free shipping and 365 day returns See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

this week on Delusional Diaries, Halley and Jaz are back with the full rollercoaster of chaos, starting with skincare gone wrong, brutal hangovers, and a weekend that tested both of them in very different ways. from dinner disasters at BondST and open bar temptations at Danielle’s birthday party to the unplanned detour that landed them at a club until 3 a.m., the girls recap every messy, hilarious detail. whether it’s falling asleep in Ubers, being gaslit about their location, or surviving on cookies, nothing is off-limits in this episode.in between the laughs, the girls get real about health, healing, and the weird seasons life throws at you. Halley opens up about her continued journey with an autoimmune disease, steroids, and IV treatments, sharing the frustrating side effects, the weight changes, and the challenge of finding stability while staying optimistic. together, the girls navigate what it means to balance wellness with wanting to live life fully, reminding listeners that even in the hard moments, humor and honesty go a long way.rounding out the episode, Halley and Jaz dive into everything from underwear revelations and blocking negativity online to reflecting on the “mystery” of being single versus the stability of relationships. they laugh about their timeline of friendship, plot out solidcore challenges with Birkin bets, and even debate whether Jaz’s moving obsession is just a love for having projects. this episode is delusional, it’s dramatic, and it’s deeply relatable; the perfect mix that we know you love in an episode of our podcast.Timestamps 0:18 - New products & hangovers6:54 - The whole night 16:47 - Friday night 21:37 - Bitching hour 29:44 - What we miss about being single 37:58 - Maybe a hobby 45:30 - Upcoming trips Links Winx: hellowinx/delusional for 25% offHeadspace: Headspace.com/delusional to unlock free for 60 days Cash App: Download Cash App Today: https://click.cash.app/ui6m/8u4300cq #CashAppPod. Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App’s bank partner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. See terms and conditions at https://cash.app/legal/us/en-us/card-agreement. Direct Deposit, Overdraft Coverage and Discounts provided by Cash App, a Block, Inc. brand. Visit http://cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Halley and Jaz are finally back on the couch after a whirlwind couple of weeks, and this episode doesn’t hold back. Halley shares the full story of her week-long hospital stay after a brutal ulcerative colitis flare-up that left her in constant pain and doubting herself. from gaslighting her own symptoms to finally realizing she needed urgent care, she opens up about the mental toll of chronic illness, the long nights in the ER, and the fear of potentially losing her colon.the episode balances heavy and hilarious as Halley recounts absurd hospital moments: nurses melting plastic into her food, the fight for a private room, and doctors giving her conflicting diet advice. Jaz keeps the energy steady, while also finding humor in the chaos. together, they highlight what it’s really like to navigate a health crisis, from anxiety spirals to unexpected gratitude when the right medication finally works.but it’s not all hospitals and IV drips. as the besties dive back into their usual blend of life updates and pop culture chatter: golf trips to Wisconsin, moving drama, TikTok spirals, Kylie Jenner lip combos, and the possibility of seeing Justin Bieber headline Coachella. it’s an episode that feels raw, real, and ridiculous: a mix of health diaries, best friend therapy, and the kind of unfiltered chaos that makes Delusional Diaries your favorite.Timestamps0:17 - Back on the couch  1:04 - Halley’s hospital visit 20:24 - Getting gaslit30:35 - For the pod only 40:02 - Coachella, lip liners, & Lizzie McGuire44:46 - Dancing with the Stars week 1 52:34 - Hair journey & our favorite productsLinks DraftKings: code DIARIESNuuly: code delsuional for $28 off your first monthQuince: quince.com/delusional to get free shipping and 365 day returnsWayfair: wayfair.comWinx: hellowinx.com/delusional for 25% offSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This week, Halley and Jaz are back behind the mic, but they’re not alone. If you’ve been rocking with Delusional Diaries since the early days, you already know her (and probably love her). And if you don’t… allow us to introduce: Eli Rallo. Writer, content creator, podcast host, professional rule-maker, and queen of saying exactly what we’re all thinking. Eli first blew up on TikTok with her iconic “the jarr” videos, and since then she’s built a ride-or-die community obsessed with her mix of humor, honesty, and that big sister who tells it like it is energy. Oh, and casual flex, she’s already the author of two books with a third on the way.From reminiscing about their “freshman class” days in the New York influencer scene to catching up on weddings, book tours, and everything in between, this episode feels like a full-circle moment. The trio dives into the realities of growing up online, from cringing at old videos to learning to feel confident in your late 20s. They also swap stories about early event-hopping nights, the evolution of their careers, and the misconceptions people have about friendship changes. Of course, there’s plenty of wedding talk, Taylor Swift engagement theories, and the sacred art of being perfectly “wedding drunk.”Eli opens up about writing her second book, the emotional process behind it, and the exciting leap into fiction with her upcoming third. It’s an episode filled with nostalgia, laughter, and honesty, proof that every era of life brings its own kind of magic. If you missed her, it’s time to catch up. If you’re new, you’re about to fall in love. Either way — this episode is one for the books.Timestamps 0:14 - The OG Podcast Guest 6:51 - All things Taylor 12:47 - Eli’s & Jaz’s weddings34:39 - Travel & TikTok37:51 - Book talk 43:48 - The Kardashians 47:58 - Eli’s Bachelorette51:20 - Favorite part about the book  Where to find EliInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/eli.rallo?igsh=MTY1MTYxaHMxN2s3Zw==TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@elirallo?_t=ZP-8zkU7bE1uso&_r=1Purchase Does Anyone Else Feel This Way? now!https://www.harpercollins.com/products/does-anyone-else-feel-this-way-eli-rallo?variant=43671983816738 Tickets for Eli’s book tour: https://www.theelirallo.com/does-anyone-else-feel-this-wayLinks Quince: quince.com/delusional for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Halley and Jaz are back behind the mics, and this week’s episode is giving full chaotic bestie energy. what starts as a tiny texting disagreement spirals into a hilarious deep dive on friendship etiquette, unread messages, and why “one sec” almost never means one second. if you’ve ever wanted to scream at your friends through the phone, you’re going to feel very seen.but of course, it wouldn’t be Delusional Diaries without some unhinged detours. between questionable snack choices, roommate horror stories, and a rant or two about unsolicited opinions, the girls manage to turn even the most random topics into comedy gold. somewhere in the middle of the chaos, there are moments of raw honesty about health, moods, and how to stay sane when life insists on being annoying.by the end, you’ll feel like you’ve been on FaceTime with your two funniest (and most brutally honest) friends. from pop culture hot takes to delusional rants that will have you laughing out loud, this episode is messy, dramatic, and exactly the kind of therapy session you didn’t know you needed. buckle up, press play, and enjoy.Timestamps0:16 - Jaz has been annoying Halley3:52 - Jaz’s bitching hour 5:25 - The lunch on everyone's FYP10:12 - What is Halley so excited about 20:19 - Tate McCrae concert 22:11 - Pop culture couples36:22 - Our overweight dogs 45:43 - The question we always getLinks DraftKings: Download the app and use code DIARIES Nuuly: Sign up with code DELUSIONAL to get $28 off your first month SeatGeek: Use code DELUSIONAL10 for 10% off your tickets Wayfair: https://www.wayfair.com/ZocDoc: http://Zocdoc.com/diaries  See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.