Hush (2016) Review

This week we review Death of a Unicorn! Stay tuned to find out whether the laughs are real or mythological. Synopsis Paul Rudd plays the hapless single father Elliot to Jenna Ortega’s, art history student Ridley. They both go on a work trip to a remote estate of Elliot’s boss in a former wilderness preserve. While on driving there, they accidentally collide with a horse beast with a horn protruding out of it’s head. Just a single horn. Like a uni-horn. When they try to hide the evidence from the CEO and his family, wacky low jinks ensue. Review of Death of a Unicorn While this film has an interesting premise and a good cast, the words that kept playing through my mind while watching this is “half baked”. Not like the wacky movie staring Jim Bruer and Dave Chappell, but more like a mouthful of hot brownie batter. It sounds good, but is actually disappointing. While there were a few situations in which I did laugh, they were few and far between, because what this horror comedy lacked most was jokes and bits.  The characters were all 2 dimensional, which in a comedy can be counteracted with broad caricature, but the writing here attempts to be subtle and low key with poor results. In fact, Paul Rudd’s character, ostensibly the second protagonist ends up being so wishy washy, that I was confused if he was supposed to be one of the villains. Jenna Ortega isn’t as stone faced as usual, but she doesn’t have much to work with here. In fact most of her dialogue felt like it must have read [fill in later]. Probably the most successfully subtle character is Anthony Carrigan’s Griff the butler. There were some good gory death moments. The expected impalements are here. There are some good headsplosions. But it’s not enough. I usually think it’s a cop out to say a movie’s CGI is bad, but for a movie dependent on monster design, they should have spent a little more time and money dialing in the unicorns. Score 4/10

Synopsis Hush follows Maddy (Kate Siegel), a deaf writer living in the middle of nowhere. She settles in for a quiet night of working when her friend turns up screaming and bloody at her door, but Maddy does not notice. The assailant figures out Maddy is deaf and a deadly game of cat and mouse ensues. Review The first time I watched this movie I really enjoyed it, but upon second watch it wasn’t as effective for me. I think it’s because if you know how it ends, it’s not going to be as exciting the second time around. I still liked it and Mike Flanagan is an incredible director, I very much enjoy most of the stuff he puts out. It’s a typical home invasion movie and the twist of having a deaf protagonist is inventive and works well. Kate Siegel is always great to watch, and the antagonist is pretty good as well. It’s a simple movie, and it works best to watch it without knowing what happens. It’s not the best, but it’s a quick 80 minutes and satisfies the horror itch. Score 6/10 http://patreon.com/horrormovietalk

Synopsis Eraserhead is a movie about an awkward man named Henry who reconnects with his lost lover Mary over a lovely dinner of small chickens. They're the same as the big chickens except for small. After finding out the shocking news that Mary has given birth to Henry's child, the two get hitched and strap in for the slow steady life of a settled family. The baby soon causes turmoil in the young couple's life and Henry must learn what fatherhood truly means in the depths of the sleepless nights and constant screaming. There's some other stuff that happens but honestly I don't know what any of it means. Review of Eraserhead Eraserhead is one of those movies that I want to like more than I do. The whole time I'm watching it I'm sitting there thinking to myself “Yes! This is so unique and thought-provoking. I'm so glad art like this exists! …how much longer is left of this movie? I found myself checking the runtime at several points hoping it was almost over only to realize only 15 minutes had passed by. However, to this movie’s credit, it truly is a spectacle. Many have likened this movie to what experiencing a nightmare or a strange dream feels like. Time moves awkwardly slow, a low hum and sharp static hang over most of the scenes, and even the mere movements of the characters feel so off. If you are going into this movie expecting to understand it or get the message, you may be disappointed to find that there may not even be one. Though despite Lynches ethereal style of movie making I still feel like I caught themes of the stress of marriage and fatherhood, dealing with overbearing prudish in-laws, and the horror that is whatever newborns simply are. As a father of a small baby myself, I felt an attachment to the small creature that they attempted to pass off as a premature child, and the sheer fragility of an infant felt close to home for me. This movie pulled off the exact feat it was going for. It made me feel something. Even if that something was an eerie, stilted, boring, nervous feeling, at least its something. I said a lot of negative things but in reality I actually do find value and even enjoyment in this movie in a weird kind of way. Score 7/10

Due to recent controversy with the recent Scary Movie episode featuring Horror Movie Talk (HMT) owner David Day, We are releasing the following announcement to the press.

This week we’re reviewing SCARY MOVIE, a spoof of 90s slashers and more. Here to defend 90s humor with me is David Day, stay tuned. Synopsis A masked killer stalks a group of dumb teenagers a year after they accidentally kill a man. Borrowing from the major plot lines and scenes of Scream and I know what you did last summer, this slapstick raunchy comedy properly spoofs the major teen horror movies of the late nineties. Review of Scary Movie It’s been a long time since I originally saw Scary Movie in the theater, and to me it was a breath of fresh air. You can debate the consistency of the quality of humor, but what you can’t debate is the pace of the humor. The jokes per minute is strong in this movie, and even if one bit doesn’t land, there will be another one that will in about a minute. What is really crazy is how timely some of the jokes are in a movie 25 years old. You’ve got mentions of diddy parties, trans in competitive sports, and teacher sex scandals.  Score 10/10

Synopsis This film follows the teenage Jessie, played by Elle Fanning, who moves to LA with dreams of becoming a model. She meets some veterans in the industry, Rubi, Gigi, and Sarah and forms a friendship turned rivalry with them as they all try to make it to the top. Jessie soon learns the ways of the cutthroat world of modeling, and how everyone around her would do heinous things for her youthful beauty. Review I absolutely love this film. This is my third watch, and I swear it has gotten better every time I’ve seen it. The cinematography, coming from the iconic Nicolas Winding Refn, is something to be revered. The way he uses color and light and blocking to symbolize changes in character’s personalities and ways of life is astounding. This film is gorgeous, and the message it conveys is something that women can all understand and relate to, regardless if you’re a model or not. It’s a deep dive on beauty standards and the predatory nature of society towards women, and little girl's beauty in general. This isn’t scary at all visually, but there are some horrific scenes and imagery that might make you look away from the screen. All in all, it’s a fantastic film, and criminally underrated. Score 10/10

Are you scared of toy monkeys? Should you be? Listen/watch our review of The Monkey (2025) to find out. Synopsis When twin brothers Bill and Hal discover a treasure trove of souvenirs in their absentee father’s closet, they find a toy drumming monkey. Soon they discover that whenever they turn it’s key, a horrific death occurs in their vicinity. After inadvertently killing a loved one, they decide to hide the monkey down a well to protect others. Two decades later Hal discovers that the monkey is killing again, and he must track down the Monkey and stop it with his teen son. Review This film is Osgood Perkins followup to Longlegs and is an adaptation of a Stephen King short story. I didn’t know what to think going into it. The trailer had a a strong sense of dark humor, but since Perkins’ other films didn’t rely on humor as much, I wasn’t sure if he could deliver. But deliver he did. This fast paced death fest is fueled by a great script full of dry dialogue as a counterpoint to the absurdity of the plot. It’s like a cross between Final Destination movies and Dragnet. Theo James does the heavy lifting as the hapless Hal being tortured by not only The Monkey, but also by almost everyone he meets. His resigned everyman is the perfect straight man for the insanity happening around him. The insanity takes the form of crazy, over the top deaths that are served in a steady drip line throughout the movie. It’s got decapitations, explosions, trampling, and more. Score 9/10

Bullying works! I finally made the guys watch a David Lynch Film! Synopsis Fire Walk With Me serves as a prequel to the hit 90s tv show Twin Peaks, following the seemingly inexplicable murder of a high school girl named Teresa Banks, investigated by FBI Agent Chet Desmond (Chris Isaak) and Agent Sam Stanley (Kiefer Sutherland). Flash forward to a year later and we get to go back to Twin Peaks to see the last few days of the tragic Laura Palmer’s (Sheryl Lee) life, and the events that led to her untimely demise. Review I originally watched Twin Peaks in high school due to seeing so much about it on Tumblr and it ended up being my intro to Lynch’s work. I love the show so I checked out the movie afterwards and it blew my mind. This is either the third or fourth time I’ve seen it, and it’s just as effective as the first. It’s eccentric and unsettling enough to keep you on your toes as you watch, but it also keeps so many secrets to the truth about Twin Peaks, about Bob, about Laura that it leaves you wanting more (and then you can watch The Return to satisfy that itch). It’s an incredibly dreadful movie, starting with the jarring beginning played like a buddy cop movie, with a dead girl who isn’t Laura, within a town not as welcoming and heartwarming as Twin Peaks is. Cut to Laura’s final days, and as a fan you are excited to feel some sense of stability, of normalcy, but that is all soon ripped away from you as you experience the horrors alongside Laura. It’s a harrowing film, a divisive film, a horrifying and dreadful viewing experience with little catharsis but a whole lot of secrets that without watching it you would feel lie you missed out on something special. This is truly one of my favorite films of all time, and definitely my favorite David Lynch movie. It is such a special thing to peer into Laura’s world, albeit very stressful and depressing. Score 10/10

Synopsis Heart Eyes is about Ally, a boss girl who isn't interested in romance. When she meets a new boy at the coffee shop that could be the one, disaster strikes as a masked killer comes to her town with the goal of brutally murdering couples on Valentine's Day. Will Ally find love? Will she finally let her guard down enough to let someone into her life? Will she clean her disgusting apartment? I have no idea.  Review of Heart Eyes  Look, I'm not so prideful that I can't admit when I am wrong. I said very openly that this movie was going to suck, but honestly, it didn't. It's surprisingly self-aware in its dialogue and genuinely pretty funny throughout the film. The opening scene starts the movie off so strong and I was already having fun 5 minutes into the movie. However, this movie suffers from the same problems all slasher movies do, it's a slasher movie and slashers are dumb. The reveal at the end feels lazy and copy paste. It's a blatant rip-off of another slasher movie, but I won't spoil it here, so just trust me when I say that it's not very original. I had fun watching this movie, but it wasn't anything to rush to the theater to see.  Score 6/10

If you could rent the perfect girlfriend, would you...? Synopsis Iris is the perfect girlfriend for Josh. She dotes on him, is nice to his friends, is honest, doesn’t argue, and has sex whenever he wants. It’s like she was made for him. When Josh and his Iris are visiting his friends in a remote lakeside getaway owned by a Russian billionaire, a sudden death throws the weekend into chaos. Iris finds out that not everything is as it seems in her and Josh’s relationship, and has to fight for her life to get away. Review of Companion I wish the second trailers didn’t spoil the premise of the movie, because I think the film would be even more impactful if you don’t know one of the main plot points. I thought the first trailer with the candle under her arm and the arm burning was enough to entice me to the theater. Companion isn’t entirely unique, there are other movies and recent HBO series that deal with similar concepts. The difference in Companion is the tone and perspective of the film. It’s told from Iris’s perspective, and as the revelations are made it adds layers of complexity for the other characters. The tone is fun, but not campy. It strikes a nice balance that definitely explores some of the darker implications and aspects of the plot without getting weighed down.  The writer/director Drew Hancock comes from mostly TV sitcoms which explains the light and breezy dialogue. I really liked the production design and music choices. They really hearken back to 50s americana. Sophie Thatcher and Jack Quaid are both great in this. Sophie brings an innocence and earnestness to her character that is believable and not over the top. Jack Quaid’s character has the most interesting arc from loving boyfriend to mega creep incel which is fun to watch and discover through Iris’s eyes. There’s not many laugh out loud moments, but there are a lot of subtle moments that got me chuckling. My only real complaint is that it was relatively predictable, but it had enough going on to maintain my interest. I liked it, but overall I think it’s only above average. Score 7/10