687: Lead Your Emotions, Don’t Let Them Lead You

In this episode of the High Performance Mindset, we dive into the power of emotional agility—the skill of being present with your emotions without letting them take the wheel. Backed by cutting-edge research, we explore how processing and labeling emotions can reduce distress, enhance performance, and improve your ability to lead and live with purpose. You’ll learn: Why emotional agility is a key to resilience, leadership, and well-being. The three essential steps to becoming emotionally agile: noticing, labeling, and choosing action aligned with your values. How to shift from “I am anxious” to “I’m noticing I feel anxious”—and why that subtle reframe matters. Why emotions are data, not directives—and how that mindset gives you back control. Whether you're an athlete, leader, or high achiever under pressure, this episode will help you respond with intention, not reactivity, and become the kind of person who leads with clarity and confidence. Power Phrase: “My emotions inform me, not define me.” Quote of the Week: “You don’t have to believe everything you feel.” — Dr. Susan David REQUEST A FREE MENTAL BREAKTHROUGH CALL WITH DR. CINDRA AND/OR HER TEAM TO LEARN MORE ABOUT THE MENTALLY STRONG INSTITUTE Love the show? Rate and review the show for Cindra to mention you on the next episode.

In this episode, we explore one of the most powerful mindset tools high performers use: reframing.   You’ll hear the inspiring story of Spanx founder Sara Blakely and how her father helped her see failure as a sign of courage and growth.   We break down how reframing allows you to reinterpret challenges with strength and optimism—turning setbacks into comebacks and adversity into fuel.   You’ll learn: What reframing really is and why it’s essential to high performance. Practical questions and tools to help you shift your perspective in real-time. Everyday examples—from tough conversations to public speaking—where reframing can give you an edge. Whether you’re an athlete, coach, educator, or executive, this episode will help you see challenge through a new lens—and move forward with clarity and confidence.   Power Phrase: “I see challenge through the lens of growth. I flip the frame to fuel my strength and stride forward.” Quote of the Week: “When you change your story, you change your power.” – Brené Brown

In this powerful episode, Dr. Cindra Kamphoff sits down with internationally respected sport psychologist Dr. Richard Thelwell to explore the psychology behind high-performance coaching. Drawing on decades of research and applied practice, Dr. Thelwell shares why coaches must see themselves as performers and how their emotional intelligence, communication, and self-awareness directly shape athlete performance and team culture. Richard is a Professor of Applied Sport Psychology and currently serves as the Executive Dean at the University of Portsmouth. He’s a Chartered Psychologist with the British Psychological Society and his groundbreaking research has helped shape how we understand the coach-athlete relationship, emotional intelligence in sport, and how coaches thrive under pressure.  You’ll learn: Why the coach-athlete relationship is central to consistent performance The surprising impact of nonverbal cues on athlete engagement and confidence How coaches can manage pressure, burnout, and organizational volatility Why rest is a psychological skill—and how coaches can develop a rest strategy Practical strategies to help coaches stay composed, reflective, and effective under pressure Dr. Thelwell also offers insights from his research on coach stress, organizational change, and the powerful role of emotional regulation. Whether you're on the sideline or in the boardroom, this conversation will help you lead with more purpose, presence, and performance. HIGH PERFORMANCE MINDSET SHOWNOTES FOR THIS EPISODE LISTEN TO OUR CONFIDENCE FOR ATHLETES FREE WEBINAR CONNECT WITH RICHARD HERE  MENTIONED RESEARCH DOCUMENT (Psychology of Rest in Athletes) REQUEST A FREE MENTAL BREAKTHROUGH CALL WITH DR. CINDRA AND/OR HER TEAM TO LEARN MORE ABOUT THE MENTALLY STRONG INSTITUTE Love the show? Rate and review the show for Cindra to mention you on the next episode.    

In this episode of the High Performance Mindset Podcast, Dr. Cindra explore the impact of setting stretch goals - ambitious, meaningful targets that push us out of our comfort zones and closer to our potential. Backed by research from Harvard Business School, they explain how high-effort goals can fuel innovation, focus, and sustained performance when they're supported by belief and purpose. You’ll also learn why writing down your goals matters, how to break the habit of playing small, and how to shift your thinking when self-doubt shows up. Power Phrase of the Week: “I pursue bold goals because greatness lives just beyond my comfort zone.” Quote of the Week: “Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you’ll land among the stars.” — Norman Vincent Peale

Today’s episode features a powerful conversation with two standout leaders in sport and performance—Melissa Hager and Brock Thompson. Melissa is one of the only women in Minnesota coaching boys high school basketball and brings a wealth of insight on leadership, resilience, and building trust with athletes. Brock is the Head Women’s Soccer Coach at South Dakota State University and a seasoned leader with over 25 years in college athletics. Both are certified Mentally Strong Coaches and bring real-world perspective on what it takes to develop confident athletes and teams. Together, we discuss: Why confidence is the most fragile and most essential performance skill How to help athletes recover after a setback or tough feedback The different ways confidence shows up in male and female athletes What mentally strong coaching really looks like—and how to model it Why relationships are foundational to performance and growth We’ll also share a sneak peek into our upcoming free webinar on June 10—Building Confidence for Athletes and Coaches—and the exciting launch of the Mentally Strong Academy for Athletic Coaches, starting June 19. To register for the webinar or learn more about both opportunities, visit mentallystronginstitute.com. If you're listening after June 10, head to confidenceforathletes.com to catch the replay. REGISTER FOR THE WEBINAR LEARN MORE ABOUT THE COACHES ACADEMY

In this episode of the High Performance Mindset podcast, Dr. Cindra shares how the way we talk to ourselves can shape our confidence, performance, and leadership. Drawing from Serena Williams’ affirmation practice before winning Wimbledon in 2015, we explore how powerful self-talk can override doubt and pressure—especially when things aren’t going perfectly. You’ll learn how thought patterns are formed early in life to protect us, and how those same patterns can now limit us unless we choose to rewire them through consistent mental conditioning. This episode covers four tools you can use to shift your mindset, respond to challenges with intention, and talk to yourself in a way that builds strength instead of stress. Power Phrase of the Week: “Speak louder than your doubt.” Quote of the Week: “I am strong. I am a champion. I’ve got this.” – Serena Williams

I’m incredibly excited about today’s guest—Sylvie di Giusto—who is a globally recognized expert in personal branding, leadership presence, and first impressions. Sylvie helps professionals and organizations explore how people make decisions about them—and what they can do to influence those decisions effectively. With a background in corporate training and a multicultural career across Europe and the United States, she brings a unique and powerful perspective to leadership development. She is the author of The Image of Leadership and Fair Advantage, and she’s worked with some of the world’s top organizations, from the U.S. Air Force to Google, McDonald’s, and the NBA. Sylvie is also a CSP—Certified Speaking Professional—and a highly sought-after keynote speaker who combines psychology, strategy, and practical tools to help leaders take ownership of their personal brand. In today’s conversation, we talk about how to craft a powerful presence, why first impressions matter more than we think, and what it means to lead from the outside in. 🔑 Key Takeaways from Sylvie di Giusto Perception Drives Opportunity Sylvie was inspired to focus on perception because it's often the silent deal-maker or breaker. The way people perceive us influences the decisions they make about our credibility, leadership, and potential—often before we speak. First Impressions Are Fast and Lasting First impressions are made in seconds and are difficult to reverse. They impact sales, leadership trust, and client relationships. In high-stakes environments, your visual and behavioral cues can speak louder than your resume. Unconscious Biases Are Always at Play Every human has cognitive shortcuts (biases) that affect how they perceive others. Professionals and leaders can’t eliminate these, but they can become more aware and intentional in how they present themselves to mitigate misperceptions. The Five Cornerstones of Decision-Making Success today requires mastery of five key areas: Visual intelligence – how you look Behavioral intelligence – how you act Verbal intelligence – how you speak Digital intelligence – how you show up online Social intelligence – how you connect with others Perception Can Be Reality While perception isn’t truth, it influences how others treat us. Therefore, managing perceptions is not manipulation—it’s leadership. Balancing Authenticity with Professionalism Professionals often struggle between “being themselves” and meeting organizational expectations. Sylvie suggests “authenticity within context”—knowing your audience and adjusting your expression, not your values. Rebuilding a Damaged Reputation To recover from a misstep, be transparent, consistent, and patient. Rebuilding trust is a process—and how you communicate and behave over time tells your story more than any apology. Managing Difficult Conversations Leaders must be mindful of the perception ripple effect. Sensitive conversations should be clear, kind, and anchored in purpose, recognizing that how something is said often matters as much as what is said. Technology + Human Connection Embracing tech doesn’t mean losing the human touch. High performers must use digital tools to amplify trust, not replace it. Leaders must be intentional about showing up in real and relational ways—even in virtual spaces. 3D Immersive Keynotes Sylvie is known for pioneering the first-ever 3D immersive keynote experience, combining storytelling with cutting-edge visuals. Her goal? To not just inform—but transform how audiences feel, think, and act. Final Message to High Performers Perception is your silent business partner. Take ownership of how you show up in every setting, every platform, and every interaction. You don’t have to be perfect—but you do have to be intentional. HIGH PERFORMANCE MINDSET SHOWNOTES FOR THIS EPISODE CONNECT WITH SYLVIE HERE  REQUEST A FREE MENTAL BREAKTHROUGH CALL WITH DR. CINDRA AND/OR HER TEAM TO LEARN MORE ABOUT THE MENTALLY STRONG INSTITUTE Love the show? Rate and review the show for Cindra to mention you on the next episode.

In this episode of High Performance Mindset, Dr. Cindra dives into the science of worry—and how to take back control of your mind and energy. Drawing on research from Dr. Robert Leahy, she shares that 85% of what we worry about never actually happens. Even more powerful: when our fears do come true, we tend to handle them better than expected.   Cindra unpacks why our brains are wired to worry—usually about the people and priorities we care most about—and how unchecked worry can steal our joy, drain our energy, and keep us stuck in the future. She then shares three practical strategies to reduce worry: Notice and label your thoughts instead of reacting to them. Schedule a “worry window” to contain anxious thinking. Let go of perfectionism and the need to plan for every possible outcome. The episode closes with a calming power phrase to carry with you: “I quiet my mind and return to the present.” REQUEST A FREE MENTAL BREAKTHROUGH CALL WITH DR. CINDRA AND/OR HER TEAM TO LEARN MORE ABOUT THE MENTALLY STRONG INSTITUTE Love the show? Rate and review the show for Cindra to mention you on the next episode.

I’m thrilled to bring you a high-energy, insight-packed conversation with the dynamic and fearless Anne Bonney. After moving 27 times, attending 13 different schools, living on four continents, and navigating six distinct careers, Anne has turned change into her comfort zone.  She’s a keynote speaker, leadership trainer, and emotional intelligence expert who helps individuals and organizations embrace discomfort, lead courageously, and ignite positive momentum in their teams. In this episode, Anne shares her personal journey of mastering change, along with actionable strategies to lead through transition, elevate emotional intelligence, and conquer tough conversations.  How to turn discomfort into a leadership advantage The three steps every leader needs to navigate change What emotionally intelligent leadership looks like during tough transitions How to handle difficult conversations without avoiding or escalating them Ways to build a fired-up team culture that performs under pressure Anne’s energy is contagious, her insights are practical, and her message is clear—growth comes when we get uncomfortable on purpose. HIGH PERFORMANCE MINDSET SHOWNOTES FOR THIS EPISODE CONNECT WITH ANNE HERE REQUEST A FREE MENTAL BREAKTHROUGH CALL WITH DR. CINDRA AND/OR HER TEAM TO LEARN MORE ABOUT THE MENTALLY STRONG INSTITUTE Love the show? Rate and review the show for Cindra to mention you on the next episode.  

This week when you notice yourself overthinking or believing a thought that doesn’t serve you, use The Truth Meter. Your mind tends to lie to you to keep you safe and small. Instead, take control of your mind and choose a different thought that would serve you right now. Your mind does not control you, you can control your mind! Quote of the Week: "You don’t have to believe every thought you think." — Byron Katie Power Phrase of the Week: “I choose my thoughts. I create my reality."