2025 Ep 298 - Blowing Crumpets Wide Open

The crumpets are warm and buttered as Hamish attempts to blow the crumpet industry wide open! Andy seeks help to get out of a sticky situation with Bec, so Hamish offers up his “Excuse Pro Member Services” to do the job. We check in with our resident Appleist, Brian, about the ‘Louis Vuitton’ of apples coming out of Australia, plus, inspired by the treasures of AM radio, Andy introduces a fun new game: “What Are They Trying to Clean?” 1. Crumpets Test 2. Bec Birthday Prank 3. Brian the Appelist 4. AM Radio Cleaning Game 

Hamish questions what actually constitutes “a monkey on your back,” and how many monkeys the average person might be carrying. Naturally, he turns it into a case study - guessing how many monkeys they are each carrying around right now! There’s a toothpaste ad that has Andy completely baffled, and after much anticipation (so much so that we almost forgot), Hamish finally reveals the next industry that he’s about to blow wide open! Andy also takes us inside the WhatsApp chat of our Tall Hat Dream Team to deliver a very important update! 1. Monkeys on our backs 2. Colgate ad stitch up 3. Inside the tallest hat WhatsApp chat 4. Crumpets investigation 

With barely any info to go on, Hamish dives headfirst into a “Wriggle Out” request from one of our listeners who’s desperate to dodge helping a mate move house. Andy spills the beans on something nerve-wracking he did in the car — and no, it definitely wasn’t a car poo! It also seems like it’s getting harder for you to stump us with a “Tell Us Someone” we haven’t thought of in ages, and there’s a “Song Sleuth” showdown featuring Katy Perry and another mega artist. Oh, and of course, the Weasel’s back at it — with another jumper taken hostage!  1. Wiggle out request 2. Tooting the police 3. Tell Us Someone We Haven’t Thought Of In A While 4. Jack ‘borrows’ another jumper 5. Song sleuth - Katy Perry vs. Drake 

After deciding we won’t be investing in any of the million-dollar business ideas you sent in (sorry, Shark Tank this is not), we’ve called in our favourite inventor and potential investor — our mate Horgs — to give some honest feedback on your pitches. Our World’s Tallest Hat quest rolls on, and we’re now on the lookout for a trustworthy panel who can officially verify our record-breaking attempt! We also compare Andy’s whirlwind trip to Old Mate’s pub in New York with Hamish’s… let’s say “unique” weekend. Plus, the fast and loose return to do what they do best — Upset Andy!  1. More million dollar ideas - with Horgs 2. Are you a trustworthy world record judge? 3. Upset Andy 4. Hamish at a cat show 

Hamish gives Andy and Jack some homework; an at-home test designed to act as a barometer for how healthy their relationships are! Power Moves are back in full force, and on a long road trip Andy discovered a funny fact about Hanson’s song “MMMBop”. Hamish reveals his bold attempt to dodge a red light fine, and puts a burning salsa theory to the test – is there really a difference between Doritos Hot and Medium?  1. The bird test 2. Sneezing through a red light camera 3. Power moves 4. MMMBop 5. Hot takes on hot salsa 

We meet the genius minds helping us bring the World’s Tallest Hat to life! We have a fresh batch of Extreme Empaths, and some shocking news — new $1 coins are being made, but somehow still none for us?! It’s officially been a year since we kicked off our campaign to get a dollar coin for the show, so it's time for a much-needed update. Also, Hamish has some strong (but fair) words for a few ice creams that need to lift their game. 1. Tallest hat dream team 2. Extreme Empaths 3. H&A coin confusion 4. Chocolate Magnums 

It struck a nerve (an erogenous one, no less) when we showed a lack of gusto in breaking the World’s Tallest Hat record — but your influx of great ideas has kept the dream alive. The wash-up from the Special Skills Conclave saw a groundswell of support for the “North Man” as the true Chosen One, and Hamish may have found a piece of evidence supporting this prophecy. Meanwhile, a long-forgotten promise from Hamish has somehow resurfaced on Andy’s weekend AM radio show, “The Mid Morning Cuppa”. Plus, it’s Andy’s Birthday Week — so Hamish has decided to “Pleasure Andy” with your calls!  1. Tallest hat suggestions 2. Hamish’s ancient discovery 3. Pleasure Andy 4. Mid Morning Cuppa 

Special Skills Judgment Day has finally arrived! Will the Special Skills prophecy be fulfilled? We discover the fate of the segment – and whether listener Lari really is the true Chosen One – as we put his skill of running on his knees to the ultimate test. Meanwhile, Hamish realised he bit off more than he could chew when taking on a cockroach infestation. And after hearing listener Christian’s million-dollar business idea, we have been absolutely flooded with “even better” pitches! 1. The Chosen One sprints to save special skills 2. Special Skills Royal Commission 3. Hamish's roach raid 4. More million-dollar ideas 

The sacred halls of the Special Skills Conclave open for the very first time to welcome Cardinal Jack and the Chosen Few. Each presents their case in a desperate bid to be named the Chosen One – the bearer of the skill destined to save Special Skills from extinction. Tensions rise, but one skill stands above the rest (according to Jack), and at last, the Chosen One is revealed. Hamish also reflects on the second most important selection of the week: the Federal Election. 1. Special Skills conclave 2. We meet the chosen one 3. Election graffiti 

With a “detective” on standby, Hamish reveals the lab results of the white powder Andy found in the walls of the 1876 house he’s renovating. Andy’s also been accused of wearing the same clothes way too often, which sparks a discussion on how long you can wear certain items of clothing. Hamish shares the tale of the mystery undies, plus we’ve got an update on our upcoming Special Skills Conclave! 1. White powder lab results2. How often should you wash your clothes?3. Chit Chat Champions 4. Mystery undies5. Pre conclave excitement & logistics