That Bathroom Sign

Humankind has developed an obsessive encyclopedia of rules, ordinances, and law. We thrive in discipline and orderliness. Laws dictate where we can go, how we behave, and exactly how inebriated we can be driving home. But we are also beholden to our nature. And the one Law of Nature is ‘Kill, or be Killed!’ But when we are good boys and girls, how can we scratch that killer itch? Tune into your sinful, guilty pleasure with Veronique and Mat as we indulge that baser instinct vicariously through the dulcet sounds of True Crime! *Grumbles are specifically off-the-cuff, no research went into this grumble. _____________________________________ Support the show and become a Grumble Kid! Patreon.com/GrumbleGoatJoin the adventure in Mat’s novel!!! Amazon | Audible _____________________________________ For more information or to share: GrumbleGoatPodcast.comGrumble Goat on Instagram | Facebook | TikTokFollow your hosts: Mat | Veronique The post True Crime appeared first on Mat Labotka.

Humankind loves systems and order. We obsessively name and categorize everything in nature. We divided all of the branches of life into Species and Genus and Kingdoms. We plotted every element in the universe into a table of contents. We put the square block in the square hole. And in our kitchens, we stack the plates with the plates and the bowls with the bowls. Forks go on other forks and spoon nestle with other spoons. But there is one cupboard that is given to entropy. Chaos reins on the coffee cup shelf. There is no organization or stacking when no cup matches another in any dimension. Ponder this dilemma over a cup of coffee with Mat and Veronique as we confront our addictions, not to caffeine, but to the uncontrollable hoarding of coffee Mugs! *Grumbles are specifically off-the-cuff, no research went into this grumble. _____________________________________ Support the show and become a Grumble Kid! Patreon.com/GrumbleGoatJoin the adventure in Mat’s novel!!! Amazon | Audible _____________________________________ For more information or to share: GrumbleGoatPodcast.comGrumble Goat on Instagram | Facebook | TikTokFollow your hosts: Mat | Veronique The post Mugs appeared first on Mat Labotka.

Healthcare is a vital part of our society. Just like access to food and water, healthcare is a necessary part of maintaining these fleshy avatars we call bodies. While hospitals and medical access may be a wildly mismanaged, robber-baron industry of government-sponsored organized crime, most of our healthcare starts at the home. Staying hydrated and choking down brussel sprouts is basic health maintenance. Self-care starts with avoiding Hot Pockets and Baja Blasts. Physical Fitness beats Physicals. But Ten Thousand steps is also wear and tear. What happens when healthy hurts? Rest and Recuperate with Mat and Veronique as we struggle through the misery of healing from Aches and Pains! *Grumbles are specifically off-the-cuff, no research went into this grumble. _____________________________________ Support the show and become a Grumble Kid! Patreon.com/GrumbleGoatJoin the adventure in Mat’s novel!!! Amazon | Audible _____________________________________ For more information or to share: GrumbleGoatPodcast.comGrumble Goat on Instagram | Facebook | TikTokFollow your hosts: Mat | Veronique The post Aches and Pains appeared first on Mat Labotka.

Humankind is a product of nature, and thus we are beholden to nature. Despite living in a world of caller-ID and screening-calls, when Nature calls we must answer. And that answer happens the same, every time. We use the toilet; a toilet that is has a pretty universally recognized shape and function. Everybody uses this apparatus multiple times a day, and so we must all be exceptionally well-versed in the operation of these simple artifices. But then why are they always labeled with warnings and remonstrations? Who keeps breaking the toilets? Hop a squat with Mat and Veronique as we struggle to decide what to flush down the toilet in loo of That Bathroom Sign! *Grumbles are specifically off-the-cuff, no research went into this grumble. _____________________________________ Support the show and become a Grumble Kid! Patreon.com/GrumbleGoatJoin the adventure in Mat’s novel!!! Amazon | Audible _____________________________________ Mat’s Play, ‘Gruff: an Origin Story’ Feb. 11th!Court Square Theatre in Long Island City: Theatre East _____________________________________ For more information or to share: GrumbleGoatPodcast.comGrumble Goat on Instagram | Facebook | TikTokFollow your hosts: Mat | Veronique The post That Bathroom Sign appeared first on Mat Labotka.

We mark a new year on the calendar.  Like a barbarian whipping a flail around its chain, so too does the Earth whip around the sun to clobber us with the passage of time.  And time, like the orbital momentums we attribute it to, can be cyclical.  While its nice to take the New Year as an exercise in imagining a future unwritten, sometimes our propulsion is backward.  It is one thing to reminisce about the olden days, and quite another to reforge erstwhile Reichs.  How can we steer toward hope, when our captain’s compass only points to hate?  Mutiny?  Find your direction with Mat and Veronique as we drown out the Year of our King, 2025! *Grumbles are specifically off-the-cuff, no research went into this grumble. _____________________________________ Support the show and become a Grumble Kid! Patreon.com/GrumbleGoatJoin the adventure in Mat’s novel!!! Amazon | Audible _____________________________________ Mat’s Play, ‘Gruff: an Origin Story’ Feb. 11th!Court Square Theatre in Long Island City: Theatre East _____________________________________ For more information or to share: GrumbleGoatPodcast.comGrumble Goat on Instagram | Facebook | TikTokFollow your hosts: Mat | Veronique The post 2025 appeared first on Mat Labotka.

Veronique’s favorite Christmas episode is returning to brighten your Holiday Season! One of the many joyous traditions practiced in this Holiday Season is the exchanging of gifts. Gifts, ultimately, are just things – maybe toys, maybe socks, maybe a Red Ryder Range 200 Shot BB Gun. What makes a gift magical is that it comes wrapped. You are handed a mysterious, shrouded box or bag of clandestine wonder and your only task is to annihilate this thin obfuscation and claim your prize. But what is the obligation of the gift-wrapper? Amazon would claim fulfilment after dropping the item into a shiny bag. Though, a true artisan of gift endowment would not be satisfied short of pristine paper, crisply folded and decorated to Emily Post perfection. But to seal it, there is no alternative to the hideous plastic bandage of Scotch Tape. Join Mat, Veronique, and Guest – Beth Conley – as we adhere ourselves to the highest standards and stick that first bit of tape directly to the Gift Wrapping. *Grumbles are specifically off-the-cuff, no research went into this grumble. _________________________________ Support the show and become a Grumble Kid! Patreon.com/GrumbleGoatJoin the adventure in Mat’s novel!!! Amazon | Audible _________________________________ Learn more about Beth: BethConley.comFollow Beth on Insta: @BethConley89 _________________________________ For more information or to share: GrumbleGoatPodcast.comGrumble Goat on Instagram | Facebook | TikTokFollow your hosts: Mat | Veronique The post Gift Wrapping Returns appeared first on Mat Labotka.

There is something deeply elemental about doors. Something lurks in our minds, possibly from our days living in caves, that profoundly impacts the way humankind’s subconscious reacts to doorways. ‘Opening Doors’ is metaphorically equivalent to obtaining opportunities. What prizes await behind Door Number Two? ‘Making an Entrance’ is to become the center of attention. As a matter of fact, the word ‘Entrance’ means both ‘Doorway’ and ‘Fill with wonder.’ So let’s take a moment to admire this doorway before we move through it. Except, there are people behind us. And there are folks coming the other way that need to use the door. Have you ever entered a room and forgotten why you entered in the first place? Cross the threshold with Mat, Veronique, and Guest – Chauncy Thomas – as we forget to even step into the room and instead, blissfully entertain in the space between two places, like a clog in the toilet, we stand Blocking Passageways! *Grumbles are specifically off-the-cuff, no research went into this grumble. _____________________________________ Support the show and become a Grumble Kid! Patreon.com/GrumbleGoatJoin the adventure in Mat’s novel!!! Amazon | Audible _____________________________________ Follow Chauncy on Insta: @chauncythomasOr see Chauncy in Christmas Carol if you’re in the area: Lyceum Theatre _____________________________________ For more information or to share: GrumbleGoatPodcast.comGrumble Goat on Instagram | Facebook | TikTokFollow your hosts: Mat | Veronique The post Blocking Passageways appeared first on Mat Labotka.

In this futuristic age, it is easy to forget that we are mortal. Humanity has become nearly all-powerful… we can summon the visage of someone in another realm on our magic mirrors regardless the distance; we can portend the future through the crystal ball of our Accuweather Apps; and we can séance the guidance of the non-living through Grok. But we are still beholden to the curses of our flesh and blood. There are still miasmas that render us prone, blights that cripple our ability to rise above the muck of the natural world. And we are vulnerable during this cold, and stressful season. And what woe that it is our very stress that delivers to us the very worst of our diseases. Bubble, bubble, toil, and trouble with Veronique and Mat as we curse the plaguing blight of The Pox!!! *Grumbles are specifically off-the-cuff, no research went into this grumble. _____________________________________ Support the show and become a Grumble Kid! Patreon.com/GrumbleGoatJoin the adventure in Mat’s novel!!! Amazon | Audible _____________________________________ For more information or to share: GrumbleGoatPodcast.comGrumble Goat on Instagram | Facebook | TikTokFollow your hosts: Mat | Veronique The post The Pox appeared first on Mat Labotka.

As Autumn sets in once again, humanity must face the eternal questions of decay that haunt the bare branches and long shadows of Hallow’s Eve. Life is full of Grumbles, as this podcast attests; but so then is the ever-present awareness of mortality. As the spiritual veil pulls back, now is the time to question that infinite darkness of the beyond. But which is the more haunting idea: to cross the River Styx and join the dead, or to remain tethered to this world with business unfinished? Percolate this purgatory with Mat and Veronique as we invoke the spirits and confront our metaphysical and metaphorical Ghosts! *Grumbles are specifically off-the-cuff, no research went into this grumble. _____________________________________ Support the show and become a Grumble Kid! Patreon.com/GrumbleGoatJoin the adventure in Mat’s novel!!! Amazon | Audible _____________________________________ For more information or to share: GrumbleGoatPodcast.comGrumble Goat on Instagram | Facebook | TikTokFollow your hosts: Mat | Veronique The post Ghosts appeared first on Mat Labotka.

The meaning of life is a question that has plagued philosophers since the dawn of time. Some say love, or laughter, maybe presence of mind, even the number 42 may hold the answer; but the question persists. Except in a scientific sense. The whole purpose of life in a scientific sense is to procreate. The proliferation of life is the purpose of life. This, very simply, means that we must pair off. As in Noah’s Ark, two-by-two we must seclude ourselves and procreate. Some species don’t like to cohabitate, like the Black Widow or the Praying Mantis, it’s more of a one-night-stand situation. And some animals choose to mate for life, like the penguin or the swan. And then there is Humankind. Of course we complicate things with bureaucracy. Contracts must be signed and alliances must be strengthened through generational guarantees. And when taxes are owed, the government needs certification that these two individuals have obligated themselves to mate for life. Bind yourself to Mat and Veronique as we remove the Romantic Comedy from our lives and chase that stoic, concrete nuptial contract of Weddings! *Grumbles are specifically off-the-cuff, no research went into this grumble. _____________________________________ Support the show and become a Grumble Kid! Patreon.com/GrumbleGoatJoin the adventure in Mat’s novel!!! Amazon | Audible _____________________________________ For more information or to share: GrumbleGoatPodcast.comGrumble Goat on Instagram | Facebook | TikTokFollow your hosts: Mat | Veronique The post Weddings appeared first on Mat Labotka.