268: How to Love Through Your Sexuality, with Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife

For so many Christian couples, sexuality and spirituality can feel like they’re at odds. We’ve been taught that to be holy means to suppress desire—but what if our sexuality is actually one of the most powerful ways to love? In this deeply insightful episode, we talk with Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife about how to integrate faith, desire, and embodiment. We explore how repressing our sexuality keeps us disconnected, how true intimacy begins with self-honesty, and why learning to love through our sexuality is a profoundly spiritual act. You’ll hear about: Why sexual integration, not suppression, leads to spiritual strength How ego, fear, and control distort connection—and what it means to love from the soul The difference between sex as validation vs. sex as communion How couples can cultivate that eros energy—aliveness, joy, and freedom—in their marriage Whether you’ve wrestled with shame around sexuality or you just want a richer, more connected relationship, this conversation will inspire you to see your body and your marriage in a whole new light. 👉 Check out Jennifer's brand new book, That We Might Have Joy.  👉 Get our free training about how to get your marriage unstuck. 👉 Apply for our amazing couples retreat coming up in the spring! 👉 And join our free private facebook group, Christian Couples Improving Sex & Intimacy

Have you every received bad marriage advice? We sure have! In today’s episode, I’m joined by my friend and returning guest, Monica Tanner. She recently released her book Bad Marriage Advice, and together we unpack some of the most common (and harmful) myths about marriage and sex and what the real advice should be. If you’ve ever wondered whether the “wisdom” you heard before your wedding day was worth following—or if you’re trying to sort through conflicting advice about sex and intimacy—this episode is for you. 👉 Plus, Monica is giving away a copy of her new book in our private Facebook group, Christian Couples Improving Sex & Intimacy.  And if you’re ready to take your own intimacy to the next level, applications are now open for our in-person couples retreat. Four days at a private resort, with gourmet meals, expert coaching, outdoor adventures, and life-changing breakthroughs in your sex life. Details are at getyourmarriageon.com.

In this episode of Get Your Marriage On!, we’re diving into gridlock—the moments in marriage where no matter what you choose, it feels like you lose. These conflicts can leave you wondering if you married the right person or why your spouse can’t see things your way. But conflict itself isn’t the problem—how you handle it is. And since sex is often the biggest source of gridlock, it can also be the greatest opportunity for growth and deeper intimacy. We’ll explore a real-life example of what happens when one spouse pressures the other with their sexual fantasies, and how that cycle of placating, resentment, and withdrawal can be transformed into honest intimacy instead. By the end, you’ll see how even sexual disagreements can become invitations to stretch, grow, and build a more passionate, connected marriage. 👉 Want to go further? Download the Intimately Us app for more bedroom fun, and join our upcoming events and coaching programs to take your intimacy to the next level: Free Training Get Your Marriage On Program Free Facebook group: Christian Couples Improving Sex & Intimacy

Ever said yes to a party you didn’t feel up for—then drove home glowing because it was totally worth it? In this episode, we've invited fellow Get Your Marriage On Program coach, Tammy Camp, to use this metaphor to talk all about creating an intimate relationship both spouses want to show up for! In this episode you'll learn about . . . Spontaneous and responsive desire How to send irresistible invitations (without pressure) How to RSVP with freedom instead of obligation When a thoughtful “no” is actually wise And how to become co-planners so the bedroom feels like a party you both want to attend We cover warm-up rituals, initiation scripts, de-pressurizing the “main event,” and Tammy’s black-belt party-planning tips. If you’re tired of duty sex or mixed signals, this is your invite to craft a party worth wanting—together. And speaking of parties, we're inviting you to one you won't want to miss! Our Anatomy of Arousal Virtual Getaway is coming up in one week--September 26-27.  Take sexual intimacy in your marriage to the next level by mastering the three keys to high arousal in your marriage! Join us virtually for a refreshing, sexy, and inspiring 2-day getaway, where we do a deep dive into the anatomy of arousal in your marriage. (And if you can't make it that weekend, you will get the recordings to use on another weekendof your choosing.) 

Do you know what arouses you? Knowing that could completely change the way you show up in the bedroom. In this episode, we dive into the difference between desire and arousal, and why understanding your own arousal triggers is the missing link to greater confidence, deeper intimacy, and more passionate sex in marriage. We cover the history of our scientific understanding of arousal and the sexual experience, including our most recent insights on how context, trust, and emotional closeness play a huge role in arousal—especially for women. We’ll also explore how positive sexual experiences build on each other, creating momentum for more intimacy and joy in your relationship. By the end, you’ll not only understand the science of arousal better, but you’ll also walk away with ideas you can use to strengthen your connection, boost your sexual confidence, and build a marriage that feels more alive and passionate than ever! Don't miss . . .  Our Virtual Getaway – The Anatomy of Arousal (Sept 26–27): a spicy, nourishing, live, at-home retreat for couples, plus so many bonuses! Our Private Facebook Group: Christian Couples Improving Sex & Intimacy

What if the biggest blocker to a thriving sex life isn’t desire, kids, or schedules—but your mindset? In this episode, master coach Jody Moore joins me to show how small shifts in thinking can create big changes in intimacy. We cover: Why “keeping your spouse happy” quietly destroys connection The surprising reason lower-desire partners stay stuck Common mindsets that sabotage sexual arousal  Clean pain vs. dirty pain in marriage And don't miss Jody’s black-belt sex tip! Sextember is on! Make September your 30-day intimacy reset inside the Intimately Us app. Plus: Virtual Getaway – The Anatomy of Arousal (Sept 26–27): a spicy, nourishing, live, at-home retreat for couples Coming next week: Sex Seminar with 25 experts—join our email list for details Ready to think differently and feel closer? Hit play—and let’s get your marriage on.

Masturbation is one of the most controversial topics in marriage—especially in conservative or religious circles. In this episode, we're not going to tell you what to believe, but we will offer a new perspective and framework for thinking about it. Here’s what you’ll discover: The surprising cultural history that shaped Christian attitudes toward masturbation Why shame and secrecy often do more harm than the act itself How sexuality and spirituality can be integrated instead of at odds A simple framework for evaluating any sexual behavior Real stories from couples who moved past guilt and found deeper intimacy Whether you ultimately say yes or no to masturbation in your marriage, this episode will help you replace shame with honest conversation and build safety for true intimacy. 👉 Want to go further? Download the Intimately Us app to reset your intimacy in September with our "Sextember" challenge, and join our upcoming events and coaching programs to take your intimacy to the next level: Men’s & Women’s Intimacy Coaching Cohorts – starting Sept 2 Virtual Intimacy Getaway – Sept 26–27 Free Masterclass Get Your Marriage On Program

What if you and your spouse chose one area of your relationship to focus on—and committed to it for 30 days straight? That’s the heart behind our tradition at Get Your Marriage On called Sextember—a month dedicated to intimacy, playfulness, and connection in marriage. In this episode, I share the surprising backstory that inspired Sextember, including a 30-day experiment that transformed not only one woman’s marriage but also her happiness and even her appearance. You’ll hear how this idea grew into a challenge for couples everywhere, why September is the perfect time to reset patterns, and how you and your spouse can join in this year. Plus, I’ll tell you about our upcoming Virtual Getaway: The Anatomy of Arousal—a spicy, nourishing, two-day experience you can enjoy together from home or a hotel. If you’re ready to have fun, grow closer, and see the before-and-after difference in your marriage, this episode will show you how to make Sextember your best month yet!

What happens when the spouse who usually initiates sex suddenly stops—and weeks turn into months of silence? This painful “sexual standoff” can leave both partners feeling stuck, rejected, and disconnected. In this episode, I’ll explain exactly why this pattern happens, share a real couple’s story, and give you four practical steps to break out of the cycle. You’ll learn how to shift focus off of blame, calm the reactivity that kills intimacy, and start rebuilding connection layer by layer. If you’ve been caught in this cycle—or fear you might end up there—this episode will show you how to untangle the knot and spark intimacy again in your marriage. 👉 Want to go further? Download the Intimately Us app to reset your intimacy in Sextember, and join our upcoming events and coaching programs to take your intimacy to the next level: Men’s & Women’s Intimacy Coaching Cohorts – starting Sept 2 Virtual Intimacy Getaway – Sept 26–27 Free Masterclass Get Your Marriage On Program

In this episode, I’ll walk you through a complete how-to guide for female ejaculation: What it is and how it works Why it can be such an incredible and bonding experience A step-by-step process to help you and your spouse experience it together Common challenges and how to troubleshoot them We'll also dive into the relationship side—why novelty can be so powerful in marriage, how to avoid performance pressure, and how deeper intimacy is always the foundation of great sexual experiences. Along the way, you’ll hear real stories from couples who discovered squirting later in marriage and how it transformed their intimacy. Whether you’re curious, skeptical, or eager to try, you’ll leave this episode with practical tools, encouragement, and a fresh vision for playfulness in your marriage. 👉 Want to go deeper? Check out the Intimately Us app for illustrated, step-by-step guides and join our upcoming events and coaching programs to take your intimacy to the next level: Men’s & Women’s Intimacy Coaching Cohorts – starting Sept 2 Virtual Intimacy Getaway – Sept 26–27 Free Masterclass Get Your Marriage On Program