#274: Savannah Carlson, Gospel Over Guilt

We sit down with Kira as she tells the long, winding road from church kid to skeptic to strict religion and finally to real rest in Jesus. Her story is raw, surprising, and full of moments where God keeps showing up when she cannot hold herself together.• growing up in a stable home while feeling socially “off” and trying to fix herself through effort• drifting from childhood faith into atheism, purpose seeking, and an identity built on achievement• a relationship collapse, depression, and a late-night prayer that shifts everything• getting pulled into fear-based religion and harmful control that looks like devotion• wandering alone, small mercies, and reminders that God protects even in confusion• years of Adventist legalism and the inability to feel truly safe with God• marriage strain, shame cycles, and the limits of behavior-based righteousness• hearing testimonies that spark hope and the gospel “clicking” through the Adam One and Adam Two lens• Sabbath as rest rather than a transaction and blessing as something already given in Christ• learning to speak life to her younger self and to anyone still trapped in performance💰 DONATE & SUPPORT our Ministry: lovereality.org/give👍 LIKE us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/alovereality📷 FOLLOW us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/riyoung31/📚 LEARN more at our site: lovereality.orgJoin us for the best gathering on the internet, Internet Church. Every other Friday. Find out at www.lovereality.org/circles Continue growing with friends! Join a circle over at www.lovereality.org/circles

We sit down with Savannah to trace how fear, secrecy, and image-management in church culture fed a long cycle of shame and sexual sin, even while she tried hard to be a “good Christian.” A breakthrough in Hebrews 9 reframes everything, moving her from dead works to a confident identity in Christ that actually empowers lasting change.• growing up in a Christian home where weakness feels unsafe• chasing affirmation and confusing performance with closeness to God• a youth leadership “contract” that teaches secrecy over confession• the weekly cycle of temptation, crossing lines, guilt, and condemnation• how shame spreads through family and friend reactions• Hebrews 9 and “dead works” as the turning point• learning righteousness, forgiveness, and freedom through Jesus as High Priest• Romans 6 and renewing the mind as a daily practice• redefining humility as receiving what God already gave• helping others through coaching that targets limiting beliefs and gospel truth💰 DONATE & SUPPORT our Ministry: lovereality.org/give👍 LIKE us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/alovereality📷 FOLLOW us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/riyoung31/📚 LEARN more at our site: lovereality.orgJoin us for the best gathering on the internet, Internet Church. Every other Friday. Find out at www.lovereality.org/circles Continue growing with friends! Join a circle over at www.lovereality.org/circles

We sit down with Crista Few as she grieves her mom’s death and explains why the resurrection of Jesus gives her peace even when she doesn’t have every answer. We talk through Adventist culture, church politics, and legalism, then come back to the simple center: the gospel is what Jesus has already done to reconcile us to God.• her mom’s oral cancer, hospice decision, and the “God moments” in the final days• the difference between beliefs and facts, especially around death and hope• why “being right” can quietly replace a relationship with Jesus• identity in Christ as a stabilizer through grief and change• experiencing church politics for the first time and how it reshapes trust• baptism vows, fear-based faith, and the pressure to perform• coffee controversy and how small issues reveal big control patterns• discovering Death to Life and rethinking what the gospel actually is• seeing the temple as a picture of Jesus rather than a checklist• assurance that salvation is secure because Jesus finished the work• readiness for the Second Coming without panic or superstition💰 DONATE & SUPPORT our Ministry: lovereality.org/give👍 LIKE us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/alovereality📷 FOLLOW us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/riyoung31/📚 LEARN more at our site: lovereality.orgJoin us for the best gathering on the internet, Internet Church. Every other Friday. Find out at www.lovereality.org/circles Continue growing with friends! Join a circle over at www.lovereality.org/circles

Some stories don’t start with rebellion. They start with devotion that slowly turns into a cage.We talk with Jessica from the Pacific Northwest about growing up around faith after God rescued her family, then spending years trying to “do it right” with relentless zeal. The deeper she went into religious performance, the more her inner world fell apart: suicidal thoughts, constant mental warfare, and a view of God that felt like tolerance instead of love. A painful relationship and deep shame only tightened the loop, until a moment overseas in Guam exposed what she couldn’t see yet: she believed she could only approach Jesus with fear, not with closeness.From there, Jessica walks us through stepping away from the systems that formed her, rebuilding her faith through Scripture, and wrestling with the question that many Christians avoid: what if the gospel really means freedom, not just forgiveness? She shares a seven-year stretch of severe physical breakdown, panic attacks, and loss that forced everything to the surface, and the turning point where God challenged her to “tame it”, not through willpower, but through renewing the mind and replacing lies with truth. We connect the dots between identity in Christ, nervous system overwhelm, religious trauma, and the healing that can follow when you finally see God as a Father who smiles over you.If you’ve ever felt trapped by shame, terrified you’ll never be “enough,” or exhausted from carrying the weight of the world, this conversation is for you. Subscribe, share this with a friend who needs hope, and leave a review so more people can find these stories of death to life.💰 DONATE & SUPPORT our Ministry: lovereality.org/give👍 LIKE us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/alovereality📷 FOLLOW us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/riyoung31/📚 LEARN more at our site: lovereality.orgJoin us for the best gathering on the internet, Internet Church. Every other Friday. Find out at www.lovereality.org/circles Continue growing with friends! Join a circle over at www.lovereality.org/circles

A breakup can feel like proof that you are unlovable, but what if it is actually the moment you discover who you are? Richard sits down with Danny and Aly for an honest, funny, and deeply human conversation about how a relationship that started with crushes and church culture expectations turned into codependency, collapsed under pressure, and then got rebuilt on something sturdier than validation.We walk through Danny’s spiral after the breakup, the loneliness and neediness he admits he put on Aly, and the surprising moment a gospel-centered truth landed: he could be okay even when his circumstances were not. From there, Allie shares her own turning point, facing the conditional-love mindset many Christians absorb over time, plus the purity culture shame that teaches people their worth is tied to performance, behavior, or sexual “cleanliness.” The thread running through both stories is simple but disruptive: identity is secure because Jesus says so, not because you can keep every rule or keep someone happy.Then the conversation goes where most Christian podcasts avoid: early marriage disappointment, painful sex, fear of intimacy, and the shame loop that convinces couples they are broken and alone. Danny and Aly talk about the slow path toward healing through better communication, couples therapy, pelvic floor physical therapy, and supportive mentors, all while learning to remove fear and speak honestly without blaming.💰 DONATE & SUPPORT our Ministry: lovereality.org/give👍 LIKE us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/alovereality📷 FOLLOW us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/riyoung31/📚 LEARN more at our site: lovereality.orgJoin us for the best gathering on the internet, Internet Church. Every other Friday. Find out at www.lovereality.org/circles Continue growing with friends! Join a circle over at www.lovereality.org/circles

We sit down with Jacob Walda to talk about how a “heaven someday” gospel left him trapped in cycles of sin until Scripture and the power of Jesus rewired his identity. We trace the turning points that moved him from shame and confusion to freedom, discernment, and a life shaped by prayer and mission across Canada.• growing up churched with a list of rules and little power• college compromise, pornography struggles and the “fake Christian” sting• a concussion that forces a life audit and a return to God’s call• simple Bible and prayer habits that spark real change at home• studying Acts through Revelation and confronting the “wretched sinner” lens• Romans 6, baptism and learning to count ourselves dead to sin• weighing teachers by love and fruit rather than internet noise• building a consistent secret place and a mobile prayer shed• leaving pastoral work after fasting, visions and a new direction• evangelism, healing and Spirit-empowered ministry across Canada’s Arctic• a challenge to pray, seek God diligently and obey quickly💰 DONATE & SUPPORT our Ministry: lovereality.org/give👍 LIKE us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/alovereality📷 FOLLOW us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/riyoung31/📚 LEARN more at our site: lovereality.orgJoin us for the best gathering on the internet, Internet Church. Every other Friday. Find out at www.lovereality.org/circles Continue growing with friends! Join a circle over at www.lovereality.org/circles

We talk with Julia Walda about the moment she realized she loved Jesus but did not actually understand the gospel well enough to live free. She shares how righteousness, renewing the mind, and rejecting lies reshaped her fight with lust, anxiety, condemnation, and self-hatred.• her shift from casual posting to intentional gospel teaching on social media• why she values local church authority over a self-made platform• growing up with a “do your best” Christianity and missing identity in Christ• dreams and encounters that convinced her God is real and Jesus is the only way• prophetic guidance around marriage and the wisdom needed in charismatic circles• purity struggles, deep shame, and counsel that normalized sin without empowering freedom• the gospel training camp where righteousness finally clicked• learning freedom as release from sin’s power, not only future punishment• anxiety as fear fueled by lies, fought through Scripture and renewed thinking• “God doesn’t make junk” as a turning point for self-image and healing• exposing lies out loud, declaring truth, and taking thoughts captive• practical view of the mind as trainable, like an algorithm• why she challenges works-based language that masquerades as holinessGo to TimothyGen.com, and follow Jules underscore Walda and Jacob underscore Walda on Instagram, and check out her YouTube channel for the upcoming gospel series called This Is The Gospel💰 DONATE & SUPPORT our Ministry: lovereality.org/give👍 LIKE us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/alovereality📷 FOLLOW us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/riyoung31/📚 LEARN more at our site: lovereality.orgJoin us for the best gathering on the internet, Internet Church. Every other Friday. Find out at www.lovereality.org/circles Continue growing with friends! Join a circle over at www.lovereality.org/circles

We speak a steady chain of Scripture-based declarations that ground our identity in Christ as a new creation, fully forgiven, and deeply loved. We move from reconciliation and righteousness into Spirit-led living, renewed thinking, and confident authority that flows from Jesus and not from self-effort.• new creation identity and union with Christ• reconciliation through Jesus and righteousness by faith• renewed mind and taking thoughts captive• spiritual authority through being seated with Christ• faith confession and speaking what God accomplished• new covenant promises, better priesthood, complete forgiveness• freedom from sin and walking in the Spirit• love as evidence of maturity and strength• no condemnation, perseverance, victory, and good works prepared by God💰 DONATE & SUPPORT our Ministry: lovereality.org/give👍 LIKE us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/alovereality📷 FOLLOW us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/riyoung31/📚 LEARN more at our site: lovereality.orgJoin us for the best gathering on the internet, Internet Church. Every other Friday. Find out at www.lovereality.org/circles

We catch up with Addison Collingsworth on family, faith, and the shift from studying healing to living with authority in Christ. We keep coming back to one idea: relationship with God makes spiritual power simple, while formulas make it weird and fragile.• Addison’s life update, four kids, flood, rebuild, and seeing God provide• Why his newsletter shifted toward healing and authority in Christ• Authority as identity, not hype, not performance, not fear of man• Relational ministry versus manipulating God with methods and systems• Why “asking God to heal” can miss what Jesus already purchased• John 3:16 and Mark 16:17–18, “believe” as action and trust• Handling nerves, motives, and timing when praying for healing• Learning God’s voice through quiet, journaling, and testing with Scripture• Recognizing Father, Son, and Holy Spirit in prayer life• Gift versus ability, belief plus practice, and faith under pressure• Healing through phone calls, video calls, and even text messages• The simplest goal, friendship and intimacy with Godbiggerthanme.org, exactly how it sounds, one word .org.💰 DONATE & SUPPORT our Ministry: lovereality.org/give👍 LIKE us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/alovereality📷 FOLLOW us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/riyoung31/📚 LEARN more at our site: lovereality.orgJoin us for the best gathering on the internet, Internet Church. Every other Friday. Find out at www.lovereality.org/circles Continue growing with friends! Join a circle over at www.lovereality.org/circles

We talk with Josh Rittenbach about growing up with a transactional view of God and how shame fed addiction, anger, and collapse in his marriage. We also share the moment the gospel finally felt real and how forgiveness, identity in Christ, and the secret place changed the way Josh lives and fathers his girls.• growing up Adventist in small-town North Dakota and learning to perform for approval• separating God from Jesus in childhood imagination and living under a courtroom mindset• carrying shame from early trauma and trying to stay numb through substances and constant noise• guilt over “messing up God’s plan” and the slide into weed, cigarettes, and legal trouble• attempting a reset through theology, psychology, church involvement, and outward stability• life as a farmer and father while hiding pill use to function and avoid silence• quitting opioids, facing withdrawals, and hitting emotional rock bottom through divorce• hearing the message that Jesus is enough and discovering right standing in Christ• reading Scripture with new hunger and learning what righteousness, justification, and sanctification mean• Matthew 18 reframing forgiveness as receiving radical mercy and releasing shame• identity as a beloved son and letting Jesus handle what we cannot fix💰 DONATE & SUPPORT our Ministry: lovereality.org/give👍 LIKE us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/alovereality📷 FOLLOW us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/riyoung31/📚 LEARN more at our site: lovereality.orgJoin us for the best gathering on the internet, Internet Church. Every other Friday. Find out at www.lovereality.org/circles Continue growing with friends! Join a circle over at www.lovereality.org/circles