
Holy Maps and Hot Messes: We Are One Cocktail Away from Screaming
This week on The Final Word, we are holding onto our wigs, our pearls, and our last functioning nerve as America once again reminds us she is not well.
We start in Virginia, where the FBI decided to raid the office of Sen. L. Louise Lucas — yes, the same Louise Lucas who helped lead the state’s redistricting plan. Then apparently the Bureau needed a break from hovering over Black elected officials and mixing Kashyap’s cocktails. So naturally, they launched a criminal leak investigation… into the reporter who wrote about Kashyap's drinking. Because why address the behavior when you can chase the person who noticed it.
Meanwhile, Tennessee Republicans unveiled a congressional map so bold, so brazen, so allergic to democracy that it eliminates the state’s only Democratic U.S. House seat. They said “balance” and heard “delete.”
Across the Middle East, we learned that Iranian airstrikes have damaged or destroyed at least 228 U.S. military structures or pieces of equipment since the war began. Two hundred twenty-eight. At this point, even the buildings need a wellness check.
Back home, 87% of Americans took one look at Trump’s social media post depicting himself as Jesus and said, “Absolutely not.” Trump accused the Pope of “endangering a lot of Catholics.” We are living in a time when the Pope is catching strays for staying “war is bad.”
Senate Republicans also proposed $1 billion — with a B — for Secret Service security upgrades tied to Trump’s ballroom project. Because nothing says “fiscal responsibility” like turning national security into an HGTV spinoff.
In Georgia, Fulton County asked a federal judge to block a Justice Department subpoena demanding personal information for thousands of 2020 election workers. Looks like the people who counted the votes are now the villains in someone’s fan fiction.
And finally, the Hantavirus outbreak on that cruise ship? Confirmed as the rare type that spreads human-to-human. We paid for shuffleboard and shrimp cocktails, not a bonus level of Pandemic: Deluxe Edition.
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