Surrogate Stories: A Loss, a Rematch, and a Fresh Start

What do you do when a surrogacy journey ends before it starts, and you decide to try again anyway? This episode is part of the Surrogate Stories, where we hand the mic to the women who make this whole thing possible. These are their journeys, their stories, in their own voices. Eloise Drane sits down with surrogates and lets them tell it start to finish: why they said yes, what carrying for another family really asked of them, and what they carried home afterward. This week, our surrogate is Christina, a gestational surrogate and mother of two who came to surrogacy as a calling after foster care and adoption did not feel like the right path for her family. She expected her husband to need convincing. He said yes immediately. This conversation covers her first match, which ended after a chemical pregnancy, and how she processed grieving a loss that was not hers to grieve while talking herself out of blaming herself for it. It covers the phone call where she was crying to her agent about her doubts when the profile of her eventual intended parents landed on that agent’s desk. She talks about doing the extra legwork to help reserved intended parents feel included, choosing an epidural so she would not shut them out of their own child’s birth, and the postpartum surprise nobody warned her about: a body running on adrenaline for a newborn who was not there. She is now preparing for a fourth transfer, a sibling journey for the same family. If you are considering becoming a surrogate and want to hear how a journey can go sideways and still be worth it, this is the episode to listen to before you take the next step. "Go in hopeful, but go in with hands wide open." -- Christina What You’ll Learn ● Why surrogacy became the path when foster care and adoption did not feel right ● How her husband responded, and why it surprised her ● Why shared beliefs were non-negotiable in a match, and how that narrowed the search ● What a chemical pregnancy looked like across three sets of beta results ● What it is like to grieve a loss that belongs to someone else ● How her first match ended, and what she wishes she had been prepared for Guest Bio Christina is a gestational surrogate and mother of two who first heard about surrogacy in 2020 and pursued it once her own family felt complete. Her first match ended after a chemical pregnancy. Her second, through Family Inceptions, ended with a healthy baby boy and a family she has stayed close to since. She is now preparing for a sibling journey for the same intended parents. She speaks openly about the losses, the recovery, and the mindset she leaned on, because she believes the stories that go well rarely get told. This episode is for women who are considering becoming a surrogate and want an honest account of a journey that included loss, a broken match, and a family built at the end of it. Episode Resources Family Inceptions: familyinceptions.com Fertility Café: thefertilitycafe.com Related Episodes What Surrogacy Really Feels Like: A Candid Conversation https://thefertilitycafe.com/podcast/what-surrogacy-really-feels-like-a-candid-conversation/ Mental Health & Family Building with Lori Metz, LCSW https://thefertilitycafe.com/podcast/ep-44-mental-health-family-building-with-lori-metz-lcsw Surrogate Series: Two Journeys, One family https://thefertilitycafe.com/podca... Chapters (00:00:00) - Introduction to Christina's Surrogacy Story(00:01:01) - How Surrogacy First Came on the Radar(00:02:56) - Husband's Immediate Support and Family Calling(00:04:18) - Explaining Surrogacy to Her Kids(00:06:07) - Family and Friends' Reactions(00:08:00) - Why She Chose Surrogacy Over Foster Care or Adoption(00:09:23) - First Match and Unexpected Pregnancy Loss(00:13:21) - Processing Loss and Learning to Let Go of Control(00:15:47) - Finding the Second Match(00:17:42) - Building Connection with Intended Parents(00:23:48) - Navigating the Relationship Dynamics(00:28:44) - The Delivery and Birth Experience(00:30:42) - Impact on Her Own Children(00:31:58) - Physical and Emotional Recovery(00:36:35) - Addressing Feelings of Loss or Depression(00:41:16) - Responding to Criticism and Exploitation Concerns(00:44:32) - Experience Working with Family Inceptions(00:46:04) - Advice for Women Considering Surrogacy(00:48:19) - Closing Thoughts and Gratitude

What does a surrogacy journey actually look like from the surrogate’s side, including the parts nobody warns you about? This episode is part of the Surrogate Stories, where we hand the mic to the women who make this whole thing possible. These are their journeys, their stories, in their own voices. Eloise Drane sits down with surrogates and lets them tell it start to finish: why they said yes, what carrying for another family really asked of them, and what they carried home afterward. This week, our surrogate is Ashley, a two-time gestational surrogate who carried both babies for the same family through Family Inceptions. Ashley walks through all of it: why she chose surrogacy, the agency that made her feel like a number, the couple who flew to Charleston just to have lunch with her, and the pregnancies that made her sicker than she has ever been in her life. This conversation covers what drew Ashley to surrogacy after her own family was complete, why she left one agency before finding the right one, what matching and screening actually involved, and how she got through hyperemesis in both pregnancies. She also talks about the things surrogates rarely say out loud: a panic attack on the operating table, postpartum depression that did not hit until six weeks out, and what going home to an empty house felt like when the family flew back to London. If you are considering becoming a surrogate and want an honest account from someone who has done it twice, this is the episode to listen to before you take the next step. "Surrogacy is not scary. Surrogacy is amazing." -- Ashley What You’ll Learn ● Why Ashley chose surrogacy after deciding she was done growing her own family ● What made her walk away from a large agency before her journey ever started ● What matching actually involved, from the intro video to the first video call ● What the screening process looked like and how much an advocate handles for you ● What hyperemesis was like in both pregnancies and what did not work to treat it ● Why she decided mid-C-section that she would do it all over again Guest Bio Ashley is a two-time gestational surrogate who carried both of her surrogate babies for the same intended parents through Family Inceptions. She lives in the Charleston area with her husband and their three children, works remotely full time, and remains close with the family she carried for. She speaks openly about the physical and emotional realities of surrogacy so that other women can make informed decisions before they begin. This episode is for women who are considering becoming a surrogate and want a full, first-hand account from someone who has been through two journeys and stayed close with the family she helped build. Episode Resources Family Inceptions: familyinceptions.com Fertility Café: thefertilitycafe.com Related Episodes What I Wish I Knew Before Becoming a Surrogate https://thefertilitycafe.com/podcast/what-i-wish-i-knew-before-becoming-a-surrogate/ How To Talk To Your Family, Friends & Employer About Becoming a Surrogate https://thefertilitycafe.com/podcast/ep-90-how-to-talk-to-your-family-friends-employer-about-becoming-a-surrogate/ Surrogate Stories: A loss, a Rematch, and a Fresh Start https://thefertilitycafe.com/podcast/surrogate-stories-a-loss-a-rematch-and-a-fresh-start/<... Chapters (00:00:00) - Introduction to the Surrogate Series(00:01:11) - Meet Ashley: Two-Time Gestational Surrogate(00:02:41) - What Sparked the Decision to Become a Surrogate(00:05:20) - Convincing Herself and Choosing an Agency(00:07:58) - Telling Kids and Family's Reactions(00:12:03) - Employer Support and Deciding to Do It Again(00:15:29) - First Agency Experience vs Family Inceptions(00:17:19) - Screening Process and Paperwork(00:18:15) - Matching with Tom and Charlie(00:21:27) - Screening Details and Considering Independent Surrogacy(00:24:19) - Transfer Day and Bonding with Charlie(00:27:06) - The Two-Week Wait and Positive Test(00:28:39) - Severe Hyperemesis During Pregnancy(00:30:33) - Nesting Instincts During Second Pregnancy(00:31:43) - Public Comments and Reactions to Her Pregnant Belly(00:34:29) - C-Section Recovery Experience(00:37:22) - Panic Attack During Second C-Section(00:39:58) - Unexpected Early Delivery and Rush to Hospital(00:44:38) - Birth Plan Realities and Readiness to Deliver(00:45:59) - Postpartum Depression After the Final Journey(00:48:25) - Coping and Finding Purpose Again(00:51:54) - Compensation and How It Was Used(00:53:11) - Misconceptions About Surrogacy(00:54:54) - Reflections and Any Regrets(00:56:08) - Experience with Family Inceptions and Closing Thoughts

What does it take to stay in a surrogacy journey when almost none of it goes the way you pictured? This episode is part of the Surrogate Stories, where we hand the mic to the women who make this whole thing possible. These are their journeys, their stories, in their own voices. Eloise Drane sits down with surrogates and lets them tell it start to finish: why they said yes, what carrying for another family really asked of them, and what they carried home afterward. This week, our surrogate is Taylor, a wife, a mom of two, and a gestational surrogate who has now matched with three different families. She wanted to be pregnant again without adding to her own family, so she went looking for an agency founded by a Black woman, typed exactly that into Google, and found Family Inceptions on the first try. This conversation covers all of it. Her first journey with international intended parents, the failed first transfer that became her first experience of loss, and the decision to go again with the same couple, which ended in a healthy baby and an intended father the hotel staff had to wake up to get him to the delivery room. Her second journey, which ended before it began when the transfer did not take and the couple could not continue. The rematch that followed, and the couple she is with now, close to her and her husband in age, who want a relationship that lasts. Taylor is also blunt about compensation, about what she says to women who tell her they would do it for the money, and about what it has meant to her to be a Black woman going through this process. If you are considering becoming a surrogate and want to hear what it takes to keep going when a journey does not go to plan, this is the episode to listen to before you take the next step. "It is the most challenging yet most rewarding experience I think you’ll ever have." -- Taylor What You’ll Learn ● Why she wanted to be pregnant again without adding to her own family ● Why she searched specifically for an agency founded by a Black woman ● How she explained surrogacy to a husband who did not know how it worked ● What her parents said, and what changed her mother’s mind in the delivery room ● What a failed first transfer felt like, and why she blamed herself at first ● Why she chose to go again with the same couple after the loss Guest Bio Taylor is a gestational surrogate, wife, and mother of two who applied to become a surrogate in 2020 at twenty-seven. She carried and delivered a baby for her first intended parents, navigated a loss and a rematch on her second journey, and is now beginning again with a couple she and her husband feel especially connected to. She shares her journeys publicly in part because she wants other Black women considering surrogacy to see that it can go well. Outside of surrogacy she is usually found with a crochet project in her hands. This episode is for women who are considering becoming a surrogate and want an honest account of what happens when a journey takes turns nobody planned for. Episode Resources Family Inceptions: familyinceptions.com Fertility Café: thefertilitycafe.com Related Episodes The Nitty Gritty of Compensation in Third-Party Reproduction https://thefertilitycafe.com/podcast/ep-77-nitty-gritty-of-compensation-in-3rd-party-reproduction/ A Spouse’s Perspective on His Wife Becoming a Surrogate https://thefertilitycafe.com/podcast/ep-12-a-spouses-perspective-on-his-wife-becoming-a-surrogate/ Surrogate Stories: She... Chapters (00:00:00) - Introduction to Taylor and the Surrogate Series(00:00:59) - Taylor's Own Pregnancy Experiences(00:03:52) - Discovering Surrogacy and Finding an Agency(00:06:03) - Talking It Over With Husband and Family(00:08:15) - Family and Work Reactions to Surrogacy(00:09:43) - State of Surrogacy Awareness and Regulation(00:11:50) - First Journey: International Parents and Early Miscarriage(00:14:13) - First Journey: Successful Delivery and Sweet Moments(00:17:23) - Recovery After the First Journey(00:20:35) - Kids' Reactions to the Surrogacy Process(00:22:22) - Second Journey: Setbacks and a New Match(00:25:50) - Building a Special Connection With New Intended Parents(00:27:55) - Choosing Intended Parents Across Journeys(00:35:38) - Addressing the Money Misconception(00:39:13) - Pushback on Surrogacy Bans and Misinformation(00:42:09) - Sharing Her Journey and Representation for Black Surrogates(00:48:03) - Advice for Women Considering Surrogacy(00:51:14) - Common Misconceptions and Funny Questions(00:53:47) - Where to Follow Taylor and Closing Thoughts

What does surrogacy look like when everything actually goes the way it should? This episode is part of the Surrogate Stories, where we hand the mic to the women who make this whole thing possible. These are their journeys, their stories, in their own voices. Eloise Drane sits down with surrogates and lets them tell it start to finish: why they said yes, what carrying for another family really asked of them, and what they carried home afterward. This week, our surrogate is Amy, a two-time gestational surrogate who carried for two different families through Family Inceptions. Amy works in healthcare, where colleagues talked openly about infertility long before she ever considered surrogacy herself. She and her husband are foster parents. She has four children of her own. Both times she carried, she delivered a family their second child, which she describes as giving them a sibling as much as a baby. This conversation covers the years Amy spent thinking about surrogacy before she acted on it, the children’s book that made her intended mother feel the match was meant to be, and why she turned down matches where the connection was not there. She talks about two very different deliveries, one so fast the father did not make it and one long enough that everyone was in the room, and about the questions her healthcare coworkers asked most. She is also direct about the misconception that bothers her most: that a surrogate and her intended parents are in an employer and employee arrangement rather than a friendship. If you are considering becoming a surrogate and want to hear from someone whose two journeys went well and who is sad to be finished, this is the episode to listen to before you take the next step. "I became a surrogate because I’m a happy, healthy pregnant woman and I wanted to share that." -- Amy What You’ll Learn ● Why Amy thought about surrogacy for years before she pursued it ● How working in healthcare shaped what she understood about infertility ● Why she specifically wanted to carry for families who already had a child ● What her match calls felt like, and why she said no to some of them ● What the screening process asked her to think through before matching ● How she and her intended parents handled communication during both pregnancies Guest Bio Amy is a two-time gestational surrogate who completed both journeys through Family Inceptions, carrying a second child for each of two families. She works in healthcare, is a foster parent alongside her husband, and is a mother of four. She speaks about surrogacy openly and often, including with coworkers and her own teenagers, because she believes more women would consider it if they understood how the process actually works. This episode is for women who are considering becoming a surrogate and want a clear-eyed account of what a well-matched, healthy journey looks like from start to finish. Episode Resources Family Inceptions: familyinceptions.com Fertility Café: thefertilitycafe.com Related Episodes Why I Chose to Become A Gestational Surrogate https://thefertilitycafe.com/podcast/ep-89-why-i-chose-to-become-a-gestational-surrogate/ Surrogate Logistics: Travel, Timelines, and Support https://thefertilitycafe.com/podcast/ep-112-surrogate-logistics-travel-timelines-and-support/ Thinking About Becoming a Surrogate? If you’re thinking about becoming a surrogate and want to talk with a team that’s been doing this for over... Chapters (00:00:33) - The Surrogate(00:01:00) - Surrogacy Is For Real(00:04:46) - The Surrogate's Journey(00:06:15) - Amy on Her Surrogacy Journey(00:07:51) - The Matching Process(00:10:07) - The Process of Surrogacy(00:11:37) - On The Intended Parents' Relationship During Their Pregnancies(00:12:43) - Surrogate's Message for Family(00:13:44) - What was it like at work? Surrogacy talk(00:15:12) - Surrogate Baby's Birth(00:18:31) - Surrogacy Is a Terrible Experience(00:20:44) - On Her Choice to Have a Baby Early(00:21:39) - What Makes a Surrogate So Special?(00:23:50) - What Do You Think Is The Biggest misconception about Surrogacy(00:28:48) - Surrogate's Journey Through Family Inceptions(00:29:48) - Amy Surrogate's Advice for Others

What changes when you carry for your best friend, and then do it again for a family you have never met? This episode is part of the Surrogate Stories, where we hand the mic to the women who make this whole thing possible. These are their journeys, their stories, in their own voices. Eloise Drane sits down with surrogates and lets them tell it start to finish: why they said yes, what carrying for another family really asked of them, and what they carried home afterward. This week, our surrogate is Alyssa, a two-time gestational surrogate from small-town Iowa who did it two completely different ways. Her first journey was independent, for her best friend, a family that had already lost a child. Her second was through Family Inceptions, for intended parents on the other side of the country whom she met on a match call she compares to a blind date. This conversation covers how she raised it with her husband on the drive home from a date night, how she told two daughters at very different ages, and how she vetted agencies from Facebook groups before she ever picked up the phone. Alyssa is candid about the difference between doing everything yourself and having someone else handle it, about the beta test that made everyone think the pregnancy was over, and about the postpartum blood pressure scare that put her in an ambulance three days after delivery and eventually led to a hysterectomy she is still making peace with. If you are considering becoming a surrogate and want to hear both the independent route and the agency route from someone who has done each of them, this is the episode to listen to before you take the next step. "These were never my babies. It was all their embryo." -- Alyssa What You’ll Learn How a friend’s family crisis turned surrogacy from an idea into a decision What it is like to carry independently versus through an agency, from someone who did both How she brought it up with her husband, and what he said the second time How she explained surrogacy to a preteen and to a curious seven-year-old How she vetted agencies from Iowa and why she chose one in Atlanta What a match call with total strangers actually feels like Guest Bio Alyssa is a two-time gestational surrogate who completed one independent journey for a close friend and one agency journey through Family Inceptions. She lives in a small town in Iowa with her husband and their two daughters. She talks openly about what surrogacy asked of her body and her family, including the postpartum complications that followed her second delivery, so that women considering it can decide with the full picture in front of them. This episode is for women who are weighing surrogacy and want an honest, first-hand account from someone who has carried for both a friend and a stranger and seen how differently the two can go. Episode Resources Family Inceptions: familyinceptions.com Fertility Café: thefertilitycafe.com Alyssa on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/alyssamcnally22 Related Episodes Postpartum After Surrogacy https://thefertilitycafe.com/podcast/ep-65-postpartum-after-surrogacy/ What to Look For in a Surrogacy & Egg Donation Agency https://thefertilitycafe.com/podcast/ep-88-what-to-look-for-in-a-surrogacy-egg-donation-agency/ Thinking About Becoming a Surrogate? If you’re thinking about becoming a surrogate and want to talk with a team t... Chapters (00:00:00) - What Women Carry Second Time(00:00:52) - What Did You Know About Surrogacy(00:04:41) - How A Surrogacy Made Her Baby(00:07:06) - The Secret to Having a Surrogate Baby(00:13:07) - The Secret to Surrogacy(00:15:41) - The Surrogacy Match Call(00:18:39) - Surrogacy Surrogacy: The First Journey(00:23:23) - Tamara Surrogates on Being a surrogate(00:27:37) - Did Your Blood Pressure Rise During Your First Delivery?(00:33:24) - I Had A Hysterectomy After Having 4 Babies(00:37:09) - What Do You Think Is The Biggest misconception About Surrogacy(00:42:43) - What Do You Wish Women Know About Surrogacy?

Too many people walk into an OB GYN appointment with uncertainty, unanswered questions, or years of silent symptoms. In this episode, Eloise Drane sits down with board-certified OB GYN Dr. Renita White, MD to unpack the real state of women’s healthcare today and the steps every person can take to advocate for themselves. Dr. White shares why she entered obstetrics and gynecology, what she witnessed during training, and how systemic gaps leave many women confused about their own bodies. She explains the challenges of limited appointment times, lack of access, and medical misinformation and offers practical tools for improving trust and communication with healthcare providers. Together, Eloise and Dr. White cover fertility education, AMH testing, preventive care, maternal mortality, racism in medicine, pregnancy fears, and navigating care in a post-Dobbs world. Dr. White also breaks down what a “normal” period actually looks like and when to seek additional support. “You deserve to walk out of every appointment with real answers.” - Dr. Renita White Guest Bio Dr. Renita White, MD is a board-certified obstetrician and gynecologist and women’s health advocate. Originally from Georgia, she received her undergraduate degree from Duke University, her medical degree from The Ohio State University, and completed her OBGYN residency at Emory University. Alongside her private practice, Georgia OBGYN, Dr. White co-hosts the podcast Cradle & All and serves as a medical advisor for The Honey Pot Company, Flo Health, VeryWell Health, Parent Magazine, and Elle Magazine. This episode is for any woman who has left a doctor’s appointment with more questions than answers, or who wants to better understand her reproductive health before something goes wrong. What You’ll Learn • Why Dr. White chose OB GYN and what she witnessed during training • Stigma and systemic gaps within women’s healthcare • How to prepare for and get more out of your OB GYN visits • Fertility basics and what AMH testing can tell you • When to see a reproductive specialist • The realities of maternal mortality in the US Episode Resources Dr. Renita White renitawhitemd.com Dr. White on Instagram @renitawhitemd Cradle & All Podcast renitawhitemd.com/podcast OBGYNs in Georgia study shorturl.at/k1aHl Related Episodes Ep 113: The Fertility Timeline: Dr Susanna Park on When to Get Tested  Ep 111: The Patient Experience in Fertility Care: Advocating for Better Support Ep 99: Bringing Equality to Reproduction for LGBTQ+ People This episode is part of our Between Seasons series, where we’re bringing back some of the most-loved and most-needed conversations from the Fertility Café archive while we work on our next full season. Stay Connected Instagram https://www.instagram.com/fertilitycafe Facebook https://www.facebook.com/fertilitycafe LinkedIn linkedin.com/company/fertility-cafe More Resources Learn more about surrogacy & fertility https://familyinceptions.com/ <... Chapters (00:00:00) - Back to the Fertility Cafe Archive(00:00:26) - Fertility Cafe: What to Know About Your Reproductive Health(00:02:39) - Ob-GYN on Why She Loved Her Work(00:11:10) - Ob-Gyn: Pre-Pregnancy Care(00:18:09) - Maternal Fetal Mortality in the US(00:26:26) - What is a miscarriage and how does it affect you?(00:27:30) - Have you seen changes like pre-Covid and post-(00:29:47) - On the Pro-Abortion Case(00:33:20) - Are birth control pills safe?(00:35:30) - Discussing menopause and contraception(00:38:03) - How to talk about your period(00:41:59) - Ob-GYN: Everything You Need to Know(00:44:20) - Interview

What does it actually feel like to donate your eggs including the parts nobody talks about? In this episode, Eloise Drane sits down with Rai Hyde, a six-time egg donor who is proud of her donations and the families she helped create and who also experienced long-term health complications as a result. Rai shares her story with honesty and without sugarcoating, because she believes every woman considering donation deserves the full picture before she decides. This conversation covers what motivated Rai to donate, what the experience felt like from the inside, how she navigated known versus anonymous arrangements, and what she wishes she had known before her first cycle. It is a rare, candid account from someone who has done it six times and still looks back on it with pride while also being clear-eyed about the risks. If you are considering becoming an egg donor, this is the episode to listen to before you take the next step. “I’m proud to be an egg donor. And I want every woman who’s considering it to make the right decision for herself, knowing the real risks.” - Rai Hyde Guest Bio Rai Hyde is a six-time egg donor who, despite experiencing long-term health complications from her donations, looks back on the process and the families she helped create with pride and fondness. She is passionate about helping other donors and potential donors make informed decisions with a clear understanding of the health risks involved. This episode is for women who are considering becoming an egg donor and want an honest, first-hand account from someone who has done it six times and experienced both the rewards and the complications. What You’ll Learn • What motivated Rai to become an egg donor and to do it six times • What the egg donation experience really feels like from a donor’s perspective • The long-term health complications Rai experienced and what potential donors should know • How Rai navigated known versus anonymous donation arrangements • What she wishes she had known before her first cycle • Why she is still proud of her donations despite the challenges Episode Resources Rai Hyde on Instagram @cornellcontentmarketing Rai Hyde on LinkedIn linkedin.com/in/raicornell Will Being an Egg Donor Impact My Own Fertility? familyinceptions.com IVF Injections: What to Expect & How to Deal With Them familyinceptions.com Related Episodes Ep 63: Meeting My Egg Donor Baby  Ep 15: Egg Donor, Do You REALLY Understand the Egg Donation Process?  Thinking About Becoming an Egg Donor? If becoming an egg donor is something you’re exploring, visit familyinceptions.eggdonorconnect.com/donorprescreen to learn what’s involved. This episode is part of our Between Seasons series, where we’re bringing back some of the most-loved and most-needed conversations from the Fertility Café archive while we work on our next full season. Stay Connected Instagram https://www.instagram.com/fertilitycafe Facebook https://www.facebook.com/fertilitycafe LinkedIn linkedin.com/company/fertility-cafe More Resources Learn more about surrogacy & fertility ... Chapters (00:00:00) - Return to Fertility Cafe: Episode 70(00:00:50) - More Than 165,000 Egg Donors in 2019(00:01:48) - I Was An Egg Donor 6 Times(00:04:45) - After Donor 6, Did You Go Through a Clinic?(00:05:56) - In the Elevator With An Egg Donor(00:07:15) - Donor Anonymous on Sexual Donor Anonymous(00:11:14) - On Becoming An Egg Donor(00:16:45) - Donor Ovary Retrieval(00:23:18) - Donor No. 6: Donor Experience(00:26:15) - One Egg Donor's Issues related to the Donation(00:34:36) - Donor Voices: I Have No Regrets(00:36:37) - What would you tell intended parents who are considering egg donation?(00:37:53) - Donor Speak Out(00:40:46) - Donor Advocates Speak Out(00:43:21) - Donor vs. Donor on Fertility Cafe

What does it feel like to grow up donor-conceived and find out at age 35 that everything you thought you knew about your origins was incomplete? In this episode, Eloise Drane sits down with Erin Jackson, a freelance writer and donor-conceived rights advocate who discovered at 35 that she was conceived using donated sperm. The experience was shocking and it sparked a mission. Erin went on to create We Are Donor Conceived, a community and resource hub built to support others navigating the same discovery. This conversation is an essential listen for any intended parent considering egg donation, sperm donation, or embryo donation. Erin shares what donor-conceived adults wish their parents had known, how the conversation around disclosure has shifted, and what the rise of consumer DNA testing has changed about donor anonymity forever. If you’re building your family through donor conception, this episode gives you the perspective that matters most the one from the child’s point of view. “Donor-conceived people deserve to know their own story.” - Erin Jackson Guest Bio Erin Jackson is a freelance writer and donor-conceived rights advocate. At age 35, she discovered she was conceived using donated sperm a revelation that transformed her life and her purpose. She founded We Are Donor Conceived, a community and resource platform created to support donor-conceived people in their search for identity, community, and answers. This episode is for intended parents considering egg donation, sperm donation, or embryo donation who want to understand the long-term impact of donor conception from the perspective of the people who have lived it. What You’ll Learn • What it’s like to discover you’re donor-conceived as an adult and why late disclosure causes lasting harm • What donor-conceived people most want parents to know and do differently • Why donor anonymity is no longer a realistic promise in the age of consumer DNA testing • How to approach disclosure with your child in a way that is honest, age-appropriate, and empowering • What resources exist for donor-conceived people and the families who love them Episode Resources We Are Donor Conceived wearedonorconceived.com Family Inceptions familyinceptions.com Start Your Family-Building Journey If you’re considering building your family through surrogacy or egg donation, visit familyinceptions.com to talk with our team. This episode is part of our Between Seasons series, where we’re bringing back some of the most-loved and most-needed conversations from the Fertility Café archive while we work on our next full season. Stay Connected Instagram https://www.instagram.com/fertilitycafe Facebook https://www.facebook.com/fertilitycafe LinkedIn linkedin.com/company/fertility-cafe More Resources Learn more about surrogacy & fertility https://familyinceptions.com/ Listen to past episodes https://www.youtube.com/@FertilityCafe Get expert insights & updates thefertilitycafe.com/resources Chapters (00:00:00) - Back in the Fertility Cafe Archive(00:00:53) - Fertility Cafe: We Are Donor Conceived(00:02:17) - Donor Conceived: Erin on the Podcast(00:03:15) - Adoptee Reveals She Was Adopted(00:05:08) - Does 23andMe Tell You How You Were Made?(00:07:54) - In the Elevator With We Are Donor Conceived(00:10:45) - The Donor Conceived Person Facebook Group(00:12:34) - Donor Conceived People Respond to the Survey(00:21:51) - What Does It Feel Like To Know You Have Sister?(00:23:28) - Donor Anonymity Is Dead(00:25:24) - Donor Conceived People Speak Out About Their Own Fate(00:30:42) - Donor-Conceived People Want More Transparency(00:35:57) - The DNA That Makes You Who You Are(00:38:26) - Donor Conceived: What Do Donor-Born People Want(00:40:30) - The Fertility Cafe: Modern Family Building

What does it actually feel like to carry a baby for someone else? Not the polished version the real one. In this episode, Eloise Drane sits down with Heathyr Suhr, a two-time gestational surrogate and single mom, to talk honestly about what the surrogacy journey looks and feels like from the inside. Heathyr shares her motivations, her experiences with intended parents, what she needed most from her agency, and the parts of surrogacy that nobody tells you about upfront. This is a first-hand account from someone who has done it twice and loves it and who is passionate about helping other women understand what they’re really signing up for before they begin. If you’re considering surrogacy and wondering what the experience is truly like for the surrogate, this episode gives you an honest, grounded answer straight from someone who has lived it. “I love pregnancy, I love helping create families, and I love educating other women on the ups and downs of this journey.” - Heathyr Suhr Guest Bio Heathyr Suhr is a single mom and two-time gestational surrogate who loves pregnancy, helping create families, and educating other women on the realities of surrogacy. She brings a candid, warm perspective to one of the most personal decisions a woman can make. This episode is for women who are considering surrogacy and want to hear an honest, first-hand account of what the journey actually feels like. What You’ll Learn • What motivated Heathyr to become a surrogate and do it again • What the day-to-day reality of being a gestational carrier actually feels like • How Heathyr navigated her relationship with her intended parents • What surrogates need most from their agency and their IPs • The emotional ups and downs no one prepares you for • What Heathyr wishes more women knew before starting the process Episode Resources Becoming a Surrogate: What’s Carrying Someone Else’s Baby Like? familyinceptions.com 6 Red Flags When Selecting a Surrogacy Agency familyinceptions.com Related Episodes Ep 8: Six-Time Egg Donor & Three-Time Surrogate Eloise Shares Her Story  Ep 2: Surrogacy 101: When It Takes a Village to Start a Family  Thinking About Becoming a Surrogate? If you’re thinking about becoming a surrogate and want to talk with a team that’s been doing this for over two decades, visit familyinceptions.com. This episode is part of our Between Seasons series, where we’re bringing back some of the most-loved and most-needed conversations from the Fertility Café archive while we work on our next full season. Stay Connected Instagram https://www.instagram.com/fertilitycafe Facebook https://www.facebook.com/fertilitycafe LinkedIn linkedin.com/company/fertility-cafe More Resources Learn more about surrogacy & fertility https://familyinceptions.com/ Listen to past episodes https://www.youtube.com/@FertilityCafe Get expert insights & updates thefertilitycafe.com/resources Chapters (00:00:00) - Return to Fertility Cafe: Surrogacy Story(00:01:23) - Surrogacy Special Guest: Heather Sir(00:01:54) - Surrogacy for Kids 1(00:05:01) - Surrogacy 1, Personal Support(00:06:01) - The Surrogate's First Pregnancy(00:07:37) - The surrogacy journey(00:08:50) - The First Couple I Met Through The Birthcare Agency(00:12:42) - The Surrogacy Process(00:13:46) - The surrogates' first transfer failed(00:15:25) - The Couple's Love Letter(00:20:25) - I Was Forced To Have A Termination During My Marriage(00:24:14) - The Match Manager's involvement in the pregnancy(00:25:33) - The C-Section Baby(00:29:18) - The Surrogacy Process(00:34:18) - The Penn State doctor who got coveted(00:34:36) - The Couple Who Matched With Their Daughter(00:37:12) - Surrogate on 'The Surrogate'(00:38:27) - What Would You Tell the Intended Parents About Surrogacy?(00:40:14) - What would you tell a woman considering becoming a surrogate herself?(00:42:03) - Surrogates Speak Out(00:46:50) - Heather's Story of Surrogacy

Why are we taught so little about something that happens every single month for decades of our lives? In this episode, Eloise Drane sits down with fertility awareness educator and author Lisa Hendrickson-Jack to unpack one of the most overlooked truths in women’s health: the menstrual cycle is not just about getting pregnant. It is a vital sign. From heavy periods and birth control prescriptions in her teens to becoming a pioneer in fertility awareness education and podcasting, Lisa shares how charting her cycle transformed her understanding of her body and ultimately her career. This conversation goes far beyond basic sex education. It breaks down what is actually happening during your cycle, how ovulation impacts overall health, what hormonal birth control really does to the body, and why so many women feel confused or dismissed when something feels “off.” “Your menstrual cycle is not an inconvenience. It’s information.” - Lisa Hendrickson-Jack Guest Bio Lisa Hendrickson-Jack is a certified fertility awareness educator, host of the Fertility Friday podcast, and author of The Fifth Vital Sign and Real Food for Fertility (co-authored with Lily Nichols, RDN). Lisa has been charting her cycle since age 18 and was one of the first voices to bring fertility awareness education to the podcast space in 2014. Today her work focuses on educating women directly and training health practitioners to use the menstrual cycle as a diagnostic and health tool. This episode is for any woman who wants to understand her cycle more deeply whether she’s on hormonal birth control, recently come off it, or simply trying to make sense of what her body is doing every month. What You’ll Learn • What it really means when we say “the menstrual cycle is a vital sign” • What’s happening hormonally from your period to ovulation to the luteal phase • Why the 28-day cycle myth is misleading and what is actually normal • How cervical fluid works, and why most of us were never taught about it • The key role ovulation plays in bone density, mood, and long-term health • How hormonal birth control suppresses ovulation and what that means for your body Episode Resources Fertility Friday Podcast fertilityfriday.com The Fifth Vital Sign fertilityfriday.com/book Real Food for Fertility (free first chapter) realfoodforfertility.com Lisa on Instagram @fertilityfriday Related Episodes Ep 129: Acupuncture for Fertility: Supporting Hormones, Cycles & IVF Success  Ep 126: What Your OBGYN Isn’t Telling You This episode is part of our Between Seasons series, where we’re bringing back some of the most-loved and most-needed conversations from the Fertility Café archive while we work on our next full season. Stay Connected Instagram https://www.instagram.com/fertilitycafe Facebook https://www.facebook.com/fertilitycafe More Resources Learn more about surrogacy & fertility https://familyinceptions.com/ Listen to past episodes https://www.youtube.com/@FertilityCafe Get expert insights & updates Chapters (00:00:00) - The Fertility Cafe(00:01:30) - Fertility Cafe: The Cycle(00:02:13) - Unpacking Fertility Awareness(00:03:00) - Fertility Awareness For Women(00:09:12) - The Secret to Working Through Your Period(00:12:19) - Meticulous Signs of PCOS(00:16:39) - How to Tell When You're Expecting Ovulation (Cycle(00:21:16) - How to manage your cycle? (28 Day Cycle)(00:26:59) - What is the normal range of periods?(00:29:09) - How Does Birth Control Work?(00:36:05) - Ovarian reserve parameters post-ppill(00:42:01) - Coming off the Pill(00:47:54) - Trust Your Intuition(00:49:58) - Lisa On Fertility: Real Food for Fertility(00:51:56) - How to chart your cycle