Understanding Disability Etiquette

Turns out twin siblings can learn something new about each other after forty-plus years. Amelia isn’t sure if they’re allowed to go to Pride. Image: What it looks like to nap during a parade.LinksNon-binary (gender identity)Agender (gender identity)Mercury Stardust: The Trans Handy Ma'amSweet Honey in the RockHow To Tell When We Will Die: On Pain, Disability, and Doom by Johanna HedvaUnmasking for Life by Devon PriceWoodworking by Emily St. James

This week, Emily talks to Dr. Donna Oriowo about Donna's new book, "Drink Water and Mind Your Business." Donna will change your life.tl; dr: Other people may have more than you, but they are not WORTH more than you.Drink Water & Mind Your Business:A Black Woman’s Guide to Unlearning the BS & Healing Self-Esteem by Dr. Donna OriowoBuy Donna's book from:AmazonBarnes & NobleSourcebooksLoyalty BookstoreJoin Donna's In My Black Feelings groupFollow @dr.donnaoriowo on:InstagramTikTokYouTubeLinks:"Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.""Let It Burn" from Paradise Square the Musical featuring Tony Award Winner Joaquina KalukangoSunrise on the Reaping by Suzanne CollinsExtraordinary Attorney Woo Good Sex by Dr. Candice Nicole Hargons(Amazing book!)My Pronouns are Dr. T-shirt by Dr. Lexx Brown-James(Dr. Lexx rules) RaQuel Hopkins, Capacity Expert  (instagram)Centering (and Studying!) Black Women's Pleasure, a conversation with Dr. Shemeka Thorpe

Transcendence! (Or as we call it, “The magic trick.”) It’s for everybody. Unless you’re not ready. Emily and Amelia discuss.Come Together (by Emily) Chapter 12: The Magic TrickAudiobook on AudibleSigned paperbacks at Book MoonThe Neurobiology of “We” by Daniel J. SiegelEntrainment“The Mere Co-Presence: Synchronization of Autonomic Signals and Emotional Responses Across Co-Present Individuals Not Engaged in Direct Interaction” by Yulia Golland, Yossi Arzouan, and Nava Levit- Binnun via PubMedThe Happiness Hypothesis by Jonathan HaidtDead Poets SocietyMurmuration (swarm behavior)Aristotle’s Rhetorical Triangle“The Field” - see Come Together page 276No Bad Parts by Richard SchwartzOut Beyond Ideas by RumiFSP Live: turning down your pain sensors (Amelia on Youtube)Transcendental MeditationCatching the Big Fish: Meditation, Consciousness, and Creativity by David LynchMaslow’s Hierarchy Of Needs

Emily had a car accident. Emily is safe and not hurt, but her car has seen better days. She was able to use what she learned writing Burnout, as well as other books and therapy to help with recovery.Let's talk about neuroplastic pain and the stress response cycle.(Do you subscribe to Emily's newsletter? ⁠You can sign up here for free⁠.)Links:FSP2025: We’re Stronger Than the FireApple Podcasts • Spotify • YoutubeIn an Unspoken Voice by Peter A. Levine, Ph.D. Complete the stress response cycle - See chapter 1 of BurnoutSomatic experiencingFriendly’s No Bad Parts by Richard SchwartzEmily’s newsletter post about neuroplastic painThe Way Out by Alan Gordon and Alon ZivExplain Pain Supercharged by G. Lorimer Moseley & David S. ButlerCurable app

Emily and Amelia talk food: Episode 3. This time it’s about food restrictions and why you might choose not to eat certain foods. No Sith were Revenged in the making of this podcast.  tl;drMake the best choices you can with the resources you have.You’re absolutely allowed to try restrictions on your food, to find out what works for you. You're also absolutely allowed not to restrict your food.Recognize that since we’re all making the best choices we can with the resources we have available, as your resources change, be responsive to those changes and develop the skills to make changes flexibly.And always remember that you don’t have to judge yourself. You’re doing your best.Links:Green Dot Bystander InterventionAnnie's Organic Dijon MustardPolar Seltzer

⁠⁠⁠Amelia is doing Youtube Lives again starting this Friday @4pm eastern!⁠⁠⁠(From now until the end of the Murderbot show.)It’s hard not to shop when the things you rely on are discontinued or out of stock. Hashtag Supply Chain. Let’s see how Amelia’s been managing.None of these are affiliate links:⁠IKEA ARTBUSKE cactus watering can⁠⁠Derma E Tea Tree Vitamin E Antiseptic Cream⁠(Discontinued, it looks like.)⁠Thunderpants⁠⁠tomboyx⁠⁠George Howell Coffee⁠ - we love, love, love a real light roast coffee.⁠Uncle Harry’s Natural Products⁠⁠Community Supported Agriculture (CSA)⁠⁠Dana K. White⁠ (A Slob Comes Clean)⁠X-O Odor Neutralizer⁠⁠Bioklean Bac-Out⁠⁠Grove Collaborative⁠ (look for the recycled trash bags)⁠Thrive Market

You need to pinky swear you listened to the previous episode before you listen to this one. We’re trusting you.Links:Season 2, Episode 2: We’re Stronger Than the FireLebanon Bologna (Sausagepedia)Episode 41: The Bikini-Industrial ComplexGood Calories, Bad Calories by Gary TaubesEvery Time Brennan Has Talked About Loving Heavy Food [Compilation] (from Gastronauts on dropout.tv, this is on Youtube)Salt Sugar Fat by Michael MossUltra-Processed People by Chris van Tulleken

We're going to talk about food and nutrition next week. But first, we need to talk about beauty.Spoiler warning: You're beautiful.Links: Amelia is doing Youtube Lives again starting this Friday @4pm eastern!(From now until the end of Murderbot.)Bob the Drag Queen⭐️ Drink Water and Mind Your Business by Dr. Donna Oriowo ⭐️(Emily loves this book and blurbed it!)Get it from:SourcebooksAmazonBook Moon BooksDr. Yaba BlayThe Whites of Our Eyes is a short documentary film that follows Dr. Yaba Blay as she returns to her familial homeland of Ghana to explore the relationships between beauty, bodies, and b/BlacknessRad Bod or Dad Bod (Youtube)The NorthmanLindsay Ellis explains The Little Mermaid (Youtube)FD Signifier explains edgelords (Youtube)Jessica Kellgren-Fozard explains ugly laws (Youtube)Wreck-it Ralph villain support group (Youtube)Belly of the Beast: The Politics of Anti-Fatness as Anti-Blackness by Da’Shaun HarrisonHealth at Every SizeGood Calories, Bad Calories: Fats, Carbs, and the Controversial Science of Diet and HealthWhy Diets Make Us Fat by Sandra AamodtFSP 2020 Episode 18: The New HotnessThe Body Project Amelia and ⁠Turia Pitt⁠: You’re Not Broken, You’re Burnt Out:Apple Podcasts • SpotifyUbuntu Reclaiming Ugly by Vanessa Rochelle Lewis

Amelia leads this week, reflecting on what it’s like to be disabled in public. They’ve got some really helpful rules for everyone who wants to help. tl;dr When it comes to helping, ask first. And listen to what they need.There’s a bit of Disney, too.

Your Something Larger can be anything. Even Captain Phasma. And especially Chewbacca.Time for a little escapism this week. Not a Disney fan? It’s OK. It all maps out to ventral spaces, Polyvagal Theory and accessibility, too.Content warning for a tragic but not graphic story of an accident at the resort from about 53 - 56 min.Links:Latchkey kidFSP Season 2, Episode 4: Polyvagal 101Insights from Disney’s 30-Foot Trash Can RuleDisney’s Polynesian Village resort music loop (Youtube)(If you can’t relax to this, I don’t know what to tell you.)Meeting Mary Poppins on Paige's Make A Wish Trip (Youtube)(You will cry. In a good way.)The Dapper Dans - If You're Happy and You Know It (Youtube)Go Away GreenHappily Ever After fireworks show(Also, apologies to Emily but the original illumations show at epcot was better even though she had to trick me into sitting still for it -editor)Season 2, Episode 2: We're Stronger Than the FireEmily’s pleasure book is Come TogetherWDW Chronicles: History of the Hoop-Dee-Doo Musical RevueWintering: The power of rest and retreat in difficult times