191 | navigating demands + boundaries with the 3 bucket approach

ABOUT THIS EPISODE (+ scroll for resources) 👇In this mini episode, Dr. Tay shares a sneak peek into a training within EVOLVE the memberhsip. Sh dives into the concept of low demand parenting, particularly for families with children who resonate with the PDA profile. Dr. Tay introduces and explains the "3 Bucket Approach" to help parents manage demands and boundaries effectively. The episode also outlines the benefits of joining the membership where deeper guidance, resources, and community support are provided. Additionally, Dr. Tay highlights the importance of understanding family values and giving children autonomy, while maintaining necessary non-negotiable boundaries for safety and key family values.00:00 Introduction and Episode Overview00:36 Membership Insights and Podcast Differences01:15 Introducing a New Resource02:22 Understanding Low Demand Parenting06:21 The Three Bucket Approach06:55 Non-Negotiables and Key Family Values08:41 The Shoulds: Dropping Unnecessary Demands11:01 The Ideal or Yet Bucket11:57 Practical Examples and Applications15:48 Conclusion and Membership Invitation18:00 Episode Wrap-Up and Future Content RESOURCES⚡️ join EVOLVE the membership here⚡️ learn more about Dr. Tay's Whole Family Approach and current clinical services offered as well as her new educational membership? visit drtaylorday.com⚡️ continue learning from me and submit any questions [could be featured on a future episode] >>Instagram @the.dr.tayTikTok @the.dr.tay

ABOUT THIS EPISODE (+ scroll for resources) 👇In this episode, Dr. Tay, a licensed child psychologist and parental coach specializing in neurodiversity affirming care, explores the concept of jealousy and why it is a valid and normal emotion. Dr. Tay discusses the importance of experiencing and processing jealousy, rather than suppressing it, and how this can impact personal growth and well-being. The episode also addresses the complexity of co-existing emotions like hope and jealousy, and provides insights on how to navigate these feelings as a parent of an autistic child. Dr. Tay shares personal stories, professional insights, and practical advice on emotion regulation to help parents better support themselves and their families.00:00 Introduction and Podcast Overview00:05 Understanding Jealousy as a Valid Emotion01:15 The Impact of Suppressing Emotions04:06 Coping Mechanisms and Emotional Processing12:06 Real-Life Applications and Parental Support18:27 Affirmation and Momentum18:42 Understanding Jealousy19:06 Balancing Emotions19:31 Validating Emotions20:53 Navigating Jealousy and Hope21:39 Seeking Support24:00 Embracing Jealousy26:38 Reflecting on Jealousy33:15 Final Thoughts and Resources  RESOURCES ⚡️ join EVOLVE the membership here and listen to my glimmers training that helps you to better understand progress  ⚡️ learn more about Dr. Tay's Whole Family Approach and current clinical services offered. visit drtaylorday.com ⚡️ continue learning from me and submit any questions [could be featured on a future episode] >>Instagram @the.dr.tayTikTok @the.dr.tay

 ABOUT THIS EPISODE (+ scroll for resources) 👇In this episode, Dr. Tay delves into the underexplored topic of couples therapy within the autism community, emphasizing its proactive rather than reactive use. Joined by Dr. Ali Perkinson, a neurodiverse couples therapist and licensed psychologist, the discussion covers how couples therapy can support harmonious family dynamics, understanding neurodiverse communication styles, and breaking down stigmas around couples therapy. Dr. Ali shares insights from her practice, highlighting the importance of co-regulation between parents and addressing executive functioning differences. The episode also offers practical tools such as the emotion wheel and the significance of sensory management, aiming to equip parents with strategies that can foster a more neuro-inclusive household.00:00 Introduction to Couples Therapy in Autism Parenting00:50 Meet Dr. Ali: Neurodiverse Couples Therapist02:22 Understanding Neurodiverse Relationships03:13 Communication Challenges in Neurodiverse Couples07:15 Common Reasons Couples Seek Therapy08:25 Proactive vs. Crisis Couples Therapy10:56 Navigating New Autism Diagnoses as a Family20:28 Tools and Tips for Neurodiverse Families22:44 The Importance of Venting in Relationships22:56 The Fixer Mentality: Strengths and Pitfalls23:45 Alternative Date Night Ideas for Neurodiverse Couples24:21 Co-Regulation and Physical Activities24:54 Therapeutic Modalities for Couples26:20 Exploring Psychedelic Therapy30:32 Addressing Executive Dysfunction in Relationships34:18 Understanding Neurodiverse Love Languages38:01 The Value of Couples Therapy40:14 Final Thoughts and Resources  RESOURCES⚡️ connect with Dr. Ali on Instagram @connectingwithali and learn more about her practice Connection Squared ⚡️ resource to find a neurodiverse couples therapist or coach  ⚡️ learn more about Dr. Tay's Whole Family Approach and current clinical services offered as well as her new educational membership? visit drtaylorday.com ⚡️ continue learning from me and submit any questions [could be featured on a future episode] >>Instagram @the.dr.tayTikTok @the.dr.tay

ABOUT THIS EPISODE (+ scroll for resources) 👇In this episode, Dr. Tay discusses the chaos surrounding the start of a new school year, especially for families of autistic kids. Sharing insights and practical advice from her extensive experience, she addresses anticipatory anxiety, the challenges of advocating within educational systems, and the importance of psychological safety for children. The episode also provides resources on using tools like AI for understanding your rights and articulating your thoughts and emphasizes the power of collaboration with educators and advocates. Tune in for strategies to ensure your child's smooth transition into the school year.00:00 Introduction to the Chaos of Starting School02:02 Navigating the Chaos of School Starting02:49 Anticipatory Anxiety and Its Impact04:56 Advocating for Your Child in the School System16:50 The Importance of Psychological Safety at School21:57 Final Thoughts and Resources25:51 Conclusion and Ways to Connect  RESOURCES⚡️check out episodes 53, 57, 115, and 142 to learn more about educational rights and advocacy  ⚡️ LEARN more about Dr. Tay's Whole Family Approach and current clinical services offered as well as her new educational membership? visit drtaylorday.com ⚡️ continue learning from me and submit any questions [could be featured on a future episode] >>Instagram @the.dr.tayTikTok @the.dr.tay

ABOUT THIS EPISODE (+ scroll for resources) 👇this week, i’m giving you a behind-the-scenes listen into a question from inside EVOLVE the membership — my neurodiversity-affirming space for parents of autistic children. in our private weekly q&a, a parent asked how to explain their child’s autism diagnosis to other adults in a way that’s both clear and affirming. in this episode, you’ll hear my full response, with approaches you can start using right away — from choosing identity-first language to framing your child’s strengths and support needs when talking with educators, family, and friends. you’ll also get a feel for what it’s like inside EVOLVE the membership, where members can bring their real-life questions instead of turning to Google, ChatGPT, or social media, and get thoughtful, personalized guidance. 00:00 introduction 00:25 welcome to this parenting space01:34 why EVOLVE the membership?03:59 behind the scenes of EVOLVE the membership06:37 this week’s Q&A11:01 neuroaffirming language explained22:29 conclusion and membership invitation  RESOURCES ⚡️ join EVOLVE the membership here ⚡️ learn more about Dr. Tay's Whole Family Approach and current clinical services offered as well as her new educational membership? visit drtaylorday.com ⚡️ continue learning from me and submit any questions [could be featured on a future episode] >>Instagram @the.dr.tayTikTok @the.dr.tay

ABOUT THIS EPISODE (+ scroll for resources) 👇In this episode, Dr. Tay addresses a commonly asked question: Is the Autism Diagnostic Observation Schedule, Second Edition (ADOS-2) necessary for an autism diagnosis? Dr. Tay explains what the ADOS-2 is, its role in autism evaluations, and clarifies that while it is a widely respected tool, it is not required for diagnosing autism. The episode emphasizes the importance of using multiple assessment tools and clinical judgment in making an autism diagnosis. Dr. Tay also offers guidance for parents on how to advocate for their children, including questions to ask clinicians. Finally, Dr. Tay highlights the importance of neurodiversity affirming practices and discusses the role of other evaluation tools and telehealth assessments.00:00 Introduction and Common Questions00:31 Understanding the ADOS-201:02 Training Levels and Misconceptions02:09 Clinical vs. Research Use04:07 Sensitivity, Specificity, and Misuse06:50 Neurodiversity Movement and High Masking10:26 Alternative Tools and Insurance Challenges12:26 Challenges with Insurance-Mandated Assessments12:45 Telehealth Evaluations: Validity and Tools13:20 Alternative Assessment Tools for Autism15:58 Key Questions to Ask Your Clinician19:28 Understanding Autism Traits: Quantity vs. Quality20:59 Free Resource Guide and Final Thoughts RESOURCES ⚡️Download the Autism Traits Guide ⚡️ join EVOLVE the membership here ⚡️ LEARN more about Dr. Tay's Whole Family Approach and current clinical services offered as well as her new educational membership? visit drtaylorday.com ⚡️ continue learning from me and submit any questions [could be featured on a future episode] >>Instagram @the.dr.tayTikTok @the.dr.tay

ABOUT THIS EPISODE (+ scroll for resources) 👇In this solo episode, Dr. Tay dives into the concept of perfectionism in autism parenting, sharing insights from her own journey and the experiences of parents she works with. Dr. Tay discusses the challenges of striving for perfection, the importance of being present, and the benefits of responding to feedback. She offers tips for navigating the autism parenting journey, including the value of collaboration, reflection, and admitting mistakes. Using the metaphor of golf, Dr. Tay illustrates the importance of analyzing and adapting to each situation as it arises. She encourages parents to embrace continuous growth and be adaptable, reassuring them that it's okay to not have everything figured out.00:00 Introduction and Episode Inspiration00:12 Perfectionism in Autism Parenting01:14 Building a Supportive Community04:20 Golf as a Metaphor for Parenting06:12 Reflecting and Adapting in Parenting07:56 Admitting Mistakes and Validating Your Child08:49 Group Therapy and Support Options09:28 Understanding the Transition to School09:43 Dealing with Uncertainty and Burnout10:14 The Power of Flexibility and Collaboration11:39 Challenging Perfectionism in Parenting13:02 Navigating the Transition Together13:22 Golf Analogy: Embracing the Process14:56 Partnering with Your Child and Yourself17:00 Final Thoughts and Encouragement RESOURCES ⚡️ join EVOLVE the membership here ⚡️ LEARN more about Dr. Tay's Whole Family Approach and current clinical services offered as well as her new educational membership? visit drtaylorday.com ⚡️ continue learning from me and submit any questions [could be featured on a future episode] >>Instagram @the.dr.tayTikTok @the.dr.tay

ABOUT THIS EPISODE (+ scroll for resources) 👇In this episode, Dr. Tay welcomes Leila from @sprinkledspectrum to discuss the joys and challenges of parenting autistic children. Leila shares her journey of discovering her children's neurodivergence, the importance of building community, and the value of learning from autistic adults. Together, they emphasize the significance of parent coaching, creating a supportive environment, and respecting children's dignity and autonomy. This episode provides valuable insights and practical advice for navigating the autism journey as a family.00:00 Introduction and Purpose of the Podcast00:30 Meet Leila from @sprinkledspectrum00:50 Dr. Tay's Background and Approach02:07 Leila's Journey and Social Media Presence04:09 Challenges and Rewards of Sharing Online05:49 Navigating Different Perspectives in the Autism Community07:46 Balancing Personal and Family Needs13:45 Therapy Modalities and Parental Involvement15:54 Integrating Therapy into Daily Life20:24 Changing Family Systems: Responding to Meltdowns21:36 Navigating a Child's Diagnosis22:58 The Importance of Tailored Support23:37 Recognizing Unique Needs in Autism24:22 The Journey to Diagnosis and Acceptance29:37 Building Community and Finding Support32:50 Advocating for Dignity and Respect33:19 Final Thoughts and Encouragement38:42 Connecting with the Community  RESOURCES⚡️ follow Leila @sprinkledspectrum on Instagram and TikTok ⚡️ learn more about Dr. Tay's Whole Family Approach and current clinical services offered as well as her new educational membership? visit drtaylorday.com ⚡️ continue learning from me and submit any questions >>Instagram @the.dr.tayTikTok @the.dr.tay

ABOUT THIS EPISODE (+ scroll for resources) 👇In this episode, Dr. Tay is joined by Dr. Melissa Houser, founder and executive director of All Brains Belong, to discuss co-occurring medical conditions in autistic individuals. The conversation covers Dr. Houser's personal and professional journey, the interconnected nature of conditions like hypermobility, POTS, mast cell activation syndrome, and the importance of holistic and inclusive healthcare. Together, they emphasize the value of community and explore the diverse resources offered by All Brains Belong to support both children and adults. Dr. Houser provides practical advice for parents and professionals seeking to improve care for neurodivergent individuals and shares impactful stories from their work.00:00 Introduction to Co-Occurring Medical Conditions with Autism00:50 Meet Dr. Melissa Houser: An Autistic Physician's Journey01:21 Dr. Tay's Personal and Professional Background02:29 Dr. Mel's Medical Background and Autism Diagnosis04:04 The Founding of All Brains Belong05:19 Challenges in Healthcare for Neurodivergent Individuals05:40 The Importance of Self-Identification and Formal Evaluation07:20 Conflicting Access Needs in Neurodivergent Families07:59 Mission and Impact of All Brains Belong20:41 Common Co-Occurring Conditions in Autistic Individuals24:35 Understanding the Cluster of Conditions25:10 Challenges in Medical Collaboration25:59 Resources for Patients and Families27:46 Impact of Long COVID on Neurodivergent Individuals28:30 Cardiovascular Risks in Autistic Individuals30:34 Advocacy and Self-Acceptance37:32 Community Programs and Support42:55 Final Thoughts and Resources RESOURCES⚡️ resources from Dr. Melissa Houser>>Everything is Connected to Everything: Improving the Healthcare of Autistic & ADHD Patients - resources for patients & cliniciansKid & Teen Connections - free customized friend-matching program for ages 4-17 based on shared interestsBrain Club® - weekly virtual community education program for adults ⚡️ keep connecting with Dr. Houser on her website and Instagram @allbrainsbelongvt  ⚡️ Zerbo et al. (2015) mentioned on the episode ⚡️ learn more about Dr. Tay's Whole Family Approach and current clinical services offered as well as her new educational membership? visit drtaylorday.com ⚡️ continue learning from me and submit any questions >>Instagram @the.dr.tayTikTok @the.dr.tay

ABOUT THIS EPISODE (+ scroll for resources) 👇Dr. Tay introduces the vision to provide deeper insights and support for families navigating the autism journey. Highlighting the benefits of her new membership offering, she explains how it differs from her free podcast and clinical services. Through personal reflections and practical examples, listeners learn about the types of content and community support available. Dr. Tay shares a sneak peek from one training about creating a schedule based on your child's need for structure, autonomy, or a mix of both, and offers strategies for creating a supportive environment. She finishes the episode sharing about the advantages of enhanced access to her expertise and the power of community within the membership.00:00 Introduction and Podcast Vision00:35 Balancing Clinical Services and Membership03:38 Membership Benefits and Differences06:48 Founding Member Launch and Community Building09:25 Masterclass and Custom GPT13:19 Summer Structure Strategies17:31 Parent and Child Needs Alignment22:44 Conclusion and Membership Invitation RESOURCES ⚡️ join EVOLVE the membership here ⚡️ LEARN more about Dr. Tay's Whole Family Approach and current clinical services offered as well as her new educational membership? visit drtaylorday.com ⚡️ continue learning from me and submit any questions [could be featured on a future episode] >>Instagram @the.dr.tayTikTok @the.dr.tay