370. The Dangerous Cost of Not Understanding Each Other - William Doherty

William J. Doherty is an educator, researcher, therapist, speaker, author, consultant, and community organizer. He is Professor and Director of the Marriage and Family Therapy Program in the Department of Family Social Science, College of Education and Human Development, at the University of Minnesota, where he is also an adjunct Professor in the Department of Family Medicine and Community Health. Buy the Book: Take Back Your Marriage by Jamil Zaki Join Greg's weekly ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Learn more about Greg's ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠books and courses⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Join ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Essentialism Academy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Follow Greg on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠X⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Facebook⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.

Today’s conversation is an invitation to recover a lost technology—the discipline of real understanding. We explore why our confidence in “getting” other people is often the very thing blocking connection, and how a more humble, rigorous form of empathy can change the quality of our relationships, our leadership, and even our society. This episode is about becoming less wrong—on purpose—and discovering why listening may be the most essential skill we’ve underestimated. Buy the Book: The War for Kindness by Jamil Zaki Join Greg's weekly ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Learn more about Greg's ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠books and courses⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Join ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Essentialism Academy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Follow Greg on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠X⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Facebook⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.

NFL legend Steve Young joins The Greg McKeown Podcast to discuss his book "The Law of Love," exploring a pivotal moment when Stephen Covey helped him shift from a transactional, self-focused mindset to one centered on unconditional love during his difficult early years replacing Joe Montana. The conversation delves into how reducing "transactional noise" in relationships—the need to be special, acclaimed, or right—unlocks deeper connection and abundance in business, family, and all aspects of life. Young argues this principle is universal and "undefeated," supported by science, mathematics, and wisdom traditions alike. Buy the Book: The Law of Love⁠ by Steve Young Join Greg's weekly ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Learn more about Greg's ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠books and courses⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Join ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Essentialism Academy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Follow Greg on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠X⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Facebook⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.

What do we do when logic isn’t enough? Greg sits down with Matthew McConaughey to explore poems, prayers, and the disciplined choice to believe—over cynicism, doubt, and apathy. Together they read new pieces from Poems & Prayers and unpack how language, rhythm, and ritual can metabolize suffering into meaning and forward motion. Buy the Book: Poems & Prayers by Matthew McConaughey Join Greg's weekly ⁠⁠⁠⁠newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠. Learn more about Greg's ⁠⁠⁠⁠books and courses⁠⁠⁠⁠. Join ⁠⁠⁠⁠The Essentialism Academy⁠⁠⁠⁠. Follow Greg on ⁠⁠⁠⁠LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠, ⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠, ⁠⁠⁠⁠X⁠⁠⁠⁠, ⁠⁠⁠⁠Facebook⁠⁠⁠⁠, and ⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠⁠⁠.

What if policing could move from reacting to crime to building trust before it begins? In this episode, I speak with Ward Clapham, the former Police Chief in Richmond, Canada, who pioneered the “positive ticketing program.” This simple idea—rewarding positive behavior instead of only punishing negative—transformed community trust and dramatically reduced crime. At the heart of Ward’s leadership was listening. Not just hearing, but listening with empathy, which shaped his career and even influenced policing worldwide. This isn’t just about policing. It’s about the universal power of listening-led leadership—in families, businesses, and communities. The invitation is clear: listen deeply, and watch what changes. Visit Ward's Website Join Greg's weekly ⁠⁠⁠newsletter⁠⁠⁠. Learn more about Greg's ⁠⁠⁠books and courses⁠⁠⁠. Join ⁠⁠⁠The Essentialism Academy⁠⁠⁠. Follow Greg on ⁠⁠⁠LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠, ⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠, ⁠⁠⁠X⁠⁠⁠, ⁠⁠⁠Facebook⁠⁠⁠, and ⁠⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠⁠.

In this conversation, I’m joined by Robert E. Siegel, author of The Systems Leader, to unpack the essential mindset shifts leaders must make in a complex, fast-moving environment. We explore the tensions leaders face—like balancing innovation with execution, and strength with empathy—and how the most effective leaders navigate these paradoxes with clarity and purpose. Drawing from real stories of leaders like Jeff Immelt of GE and Michael Dowling of Northwell Health, Robert shares why systems thinking, strong relationships, and the ability to adapt are no longer optional—they're essential. If you want to lead with greater clarity in the chaos, this episode is for you. Buy Robert's Book ⁠"⁠The Systems Leader"⁠ Visit Robert's ⁠⁠Website⁠⁠ Follow Robert on ⁠LinkedIn⁠ Join my weekly ⁠⁠newsletter⁠⁠. Learn more about my ⁠⁠books and courses⁠⁠. Join ⁠⁠The Essentialism Academy⁠⁠. Follow me on ⁠⁠LinkedIn⁠⁠, ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠, ⁠⁠X⁠⁠, ⁠⁠Facebook⁠⁠, and ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠.

What if the only thing standing between you and the life you truly want is the courage to begin? In this episode, I speak with Jenny Wood—former Google executive and author of Wild Courage—about what it means to pursue the essential with boldness. Jenny shares how she walked away from a high-powered role to write the book she felt called to create. We explore the power of being shameless, curious, and even a little reckless when the moment demands it. You’ll hear how she faced down fear, navigated imposter syndrome, and embraced the uncomfortable path toward growth. This is a conversation about clarity, action, and living with wild courage—the kind that leads you not just to success, but to meaning. Buy Jenny's Book ⁠"Wild Courage: Go After What You Want and Get It"⁠ Visit Jenny's ⁠Website⁠ Follow Jenny on LinkedIn Join my weekly ⁠newsletter⁠. Learn more about my ⁠books and courses⁠. Join ⁠The Essentialism Academy⁠. Follow me on ⁠LinkedIn⁠, ⁠Instagram⁠, ⁠X⁠, ⁠Facebook⁠, and ⁠YouTube⁠.

Greg and guest Ben Greenfield continue in this Part 2 conversation about endurance training strategies, focusing on preparing for Ironman triathlons. Ben shares insights on pacing, nutrition, and psychological resilience, offering tips from the trenches for race day success. They explore the challenges of juggling athletic goals with personal life, emphasizing the importance of maintaining relationships alongside intense training. The conversation also touches on building community and male friendships, with Ben revealing his ongoing efforts to invest more in these areas. Buy Ben's Book "Boundless" Visit Ben's Website Join my weekly newsletter. Learn more about my books and courses. Join The Essentialism Academy. Follow me on LinkedIn, Instagram, X, Facebook, and YouTube.

Greg chats with Ben Greenfield, a trailblazer in health and human optimization, about unlocking potential and redefining personal limits. We put a magnifying glass onto Ben's journey from novice to Ironman, and discover two key breakthroughs: a time-efficient high-intensity training method and a game-changing nutrition strategy for optimal endurance. Gain insights into sustaining high performance and recovering from setbacks. Whether you're an athlete or pursuing personal growth, this conversation with bestselling author Ben Greenfield offers invaluable guidance on pushing boundaries and achieving excellence. Buy Ben's Book "Boundless" Visit Ben's Website Join my weekly newsletter. Learn more about my books and courses. Join The Essentialism Academy. Follow me on LinkedIn, Instagram, X, Facebook, and YouTube.

Greg speaks with Derek Sivers, an entrepreneur and thinker, exploring the power of perspective in shaping life's outcomes. They explore the concept of "useful, not true," emphasizing the flexibility and mindset required to break away from limiting narratives. Sivers shares personal insights on journaling as a tool for processing thoughts and decision-making, highlighting its role in enhancing clarity and agency. The conversation also touches on using AI for personal growth and the importance of understanding diverse worldviews to stretch and evolve one's thinking. Buy Derek's Book "Useful Not True" Visit Derek's Website Reach out to Derek Join my weekly newsletter. Learn more about my books and courses. Join The Essentialism Academy. Follow me on LinkedIn, Instagram, X, Facebook, and YouTube.