Happiness Doesn't Require Permission

I'm sure you have a lot to do today. You’re probably in for a busy day if you use a traditional To-Do list. If I may, I’d like to pass on some advice to make your days much more fun. LOSE your "To-Do List." Replace it with a "Did I Do It List."   Of course, a traditional To-Do list will get the job done. But it’s far too easy to focus entirely on your list of things to do instead of what you're supposed to be doing. Don’t get me wrong, when you are inside any project, you may need a list. I can’t imagine myself in the kitchen without a recipe to follow. To-do lists have their place. For everything else, there’s something better. You should be using a “Did I Do It List.”  As simple as it sounds, instead of chasing and stressing about what you must do, you simply ensure you’ve done what is needed. Yes, it’s a simple mindset change, but it will change everything about how you get things done — and you’ll have far less stress. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Law of Attraction should be called the Law of What You Think About Most. Like attracts like, what you think about, you get.  If you think, "I won't get it because I never do," - you are correct. Dreaming of something new while focusing on current problems is a sure way to keep spinning your wheels. The secret is to focus your attention and actions on what you want to attract. That will require a dedicated effort. Vision Boards, lists of goals, and daily journaling are all great ways to stay on track.  The "Law of What You Think About" is magical and straightforward… Decide what you want. Believe it is possible. Focus on the future, not the past. Please don't stop until you get it. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It’s Time To Explore What’s Possible I’ve spent the last couple of days saying things like — “What do you do when you are doing you, and your purpose is to find your purpose?” Now, I realize that something so simple is also something most people will ignore.  I also realized that for some people, as soon as they begin reading and realize they’ve already heard it, tune out and open the next email.  That’s unfortunate. Studies have long ago proven that repetition is the Mother of all skills. Yes, it takes time to learn new things and master them. But getting a new skill is not the value of repetition — it’s the doors it opens. When you opened my email yesterday, you were a different person than now. And tomorrow you will be different than you will be by the end of the week. As you explore your day, you’ll figure out what doesn’t work, lock in what does, and update your worldview. You will see things differently. The wisdom you collect will transform your personality as you explore your life and you will begin becoming the person you are meant to be. Of course, this should be no surprise since you’ve been doing it your entire life.  But what if you purposefully did it every day? What if you chose to purposefully explore all the possibilities of your life in hope that it will lead to your destination? What if you explored the possibilities with full faith and trust that you are following your path, the correct path, and the one that will lead you to everything you desire? It’s not a what IF. It’s what IS.  It’s your choice to make that happen. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Say YES to Yourself More This Year Do you ever wish you had a less complicated life?   Even if your job and life are overcomplicated out of necessity, like launching a rocket or performing brain surgery, you can still simplify everything. How do you do it? Your actions in your life and your job are probably not causing the overwhelm. It's the people and the results that are causing you to feel that way. The easier way to under-complicate is to begin saying "No" to the arbitrary and unattainable demands of others and focus exclusively on the results you want.  Here are a couple of ideas: 1) Practice the law of "Good Enough." Perfectionism is overrated. It will waste years of productive time you could use to enjoy life. Set your standards and rise to them. 2) Get good at saying "No." Make that two-letter word your default answer for everything. And remember, sometimes, saying nothing at all gets the same result. 3) Remember that the only thing you must do in life is take a BREATH. Everything else is optional and self-inflicted.  Leonardo da Vinci said," Simplicity is the ultimate  sophistication."   Why not show everybody how sophisticated you are?  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

My friend Sid called to tell me he had found his next big thing. He decided to take flying lessons and couldn't wait to get started. After hearing my Mom's stories over the years, I have always wanted to learn to fly. Her father was a contractor in Wilmington, North Carolina. When an airport client couldn't pay, he offered lessons. She was 15 years old. Her stories of landing on the beaches of North Carolina were thrilling. Flying solo before an arriving hurricane was captivating. We'll forget that she 3-days short of being legally old enough. Her adventurous spirit took control. With a hurricane coming, she wasn't going to ask for permission. She took command, and it put her in the record books. By the time I began flying 50 years later, things were more controlled, and speaking on the radio to Air Traffic Control was required - and challenging. Being nervous, I often asked for permission when I wanted to do something. I would say, "This is Cessna 67508 requesting permission to…" One day, while waiting for their response, my instructor taught me a lesson I could have learned from my Mom, "You're the Pilot in Command. Your seat is moving, and theirs isn't. Don't ask for permission. Tell them what you want and let them work it out." What?  I don't have to ask for anyone's permission to do what I want.  I never asked again, in flying or anything else in life. I decide what I want to do and do it. If somebody else needs to know what I'm up to, I tell them, work out the solution, and keep moving. If not, I keep moving. Some days, it feels like we need permission from everybody else. Don't fall into that trap. Your destiny is your choice and yours alone. And what happened to Sid? He asked his wife for permission, and she said "no." He never took a single lesson. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

One thing that I'm always going to do is refine my morning routine — it's a never-ending process.  You hear a lot about using morning rituals to get more done. But what if you could use your mornings to get more done for YOU? In the fast-paced world we live in today, there seem to be two groups when it comes to how to use mornings — personal and productive. Once folks remove themselves from the craziness of jumping out of bed, taking care of the kids, and hitting the drive-through, they choose one of the two.  But what if there was a third group that was more satisfying? Before I go on, I must admit that I was not a morning person and didn't like getting up early. I even quit my first couple of jobs as a morning radio host so I could sleep.  Later in my career, I would hit my desk at 5 AM and pound through my to-do list as fast as possible. I must have been saying, "I…MUST… GET… IT… DONE!" That didn't work well because I didn't see the purpose of getting out of bed early if it was only to work. For a few years, I spent my mornings reading and meditating before heading to the gym. I got in better shape, but my bank balance was less, and my future goals were seemingly unreachable. Then, one day, out of pure frustration and sporting a brand-new I don't give a heck attitude, I asked myself a question that changed everything - "What's the first thing I should do tomorrow morning that, if I do, will allow me to live a life of my design?" I didn't ask about work or what was on my to-do list. It had nothing to do with getting more done or getting in better shape. I focused on the lifestyle I wanted to live - and it was life-changing. In the years since I made that decision, I've started my days doing the most important thing I deem required to live the life of my choosing, and I've been happier for it. I've also come across dozens of morning do-gooders who are getting everything done except what they dream of doing, and when they realize it's not their fault, everything changes. They get caught up in the buzz of life, and everyone does. But you start making real progress the minute you focus on YOU before anything else. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Over the years, I've witnessed dozens of people set themselves up for failure by following seemingly wise advice - "When you set a goal, make it public and tell everybody you know so they can support you." In my experience, that could have worked better - especially on long-term goals. The reason is that nobody outside my close relationships knows me well enough to understand why I'm doing what I'm doing. That makes it challenging to provide support in meaningful ways, difficult for me to accept, and unneeded pressure on everybody. It takes little thinking to realize the best accountability relationship needs to be based on respect and a sincere connection to have the most impact. That means there is no need to crowd-source accountability when you only need two people to keep you on track. The first partner is the one you listen to the most - YOU! Accepting responsibility for your accountability is the most potent skill you own.  But since you are the boss of YOU and don't always listen to yourself, you need somebody else you trust and respect who is willing to call you out on your stuff. Once they agree, let them do their job. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Creating a difference in your life is a non-stop process that requires simple actions to help you get what you want. And it is, after all, about getting what you want and keeping what you love. You’ll always go through these steps: 1) Decide. Everything begins with your decision to head off in a new direction. While sometimes you may feel like you’ve made a decision, if you’re not moving, you haven’t. 2) Define. Aimless wandering is fun when that’s what you’ve decided to do. Otherwise, it’s frustrating, exhausting, and takes place more than you think. When you define your path, you get to walk your path. 3) Deploy. As dull as the advice may be, putting your plan into action is the only way to get what you want. If you don’t deploy, you don’t get it. 4) Defend. After working hard to get what you want, you can guarantee that something or somebody will try to take away your results. That’s not good or bad. That’s life. When you find what you love, defend it so you never lose it. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I’ve noticed in my life that humans are hoarders when it comes to keeping stuff that works and doesn’t.  They keep hanging on; their life depends on it. Now, before I go on, I think there are two situations at play here: 1) Hanging on to what has worked well but needs to go so you can do more of what you want to do. 2) Hanging on what doesn’t work in hopes that it will work well someday. Both can go on for years, leading to frustration as you long for something else.  I was on the phone with a client this morning, and we ran into that situation. We began dealing with it a few months ago, and it’s still rearing its ugly head in her life.  After exploring it from every angle— Should I keep it? Should I put it to the side and come back to it? Should I toss it and start over? Should I… should I… should I. I finally said the only thing that came to mind - “The mere fact that you keep questioning it tells me you want to drop it. You’re just worried about what comes next, which is strange because what’s next is what you want.  Let me ask a question— How would you feel if you dropped everything holding you back and woke up in the morning with a clean slate and ready to move?” She smiled. You know, with that almost embarrassed look that people get when they can’t pretend anymore. She was busted, and she knew it. That’s when she said— “I’m not going to lie. That would feel great!” We had a “moment,” and everything changed. I suggested a 30-day cooling-off period, but with the understanding that she is moving forward and not backward. A few hours later, she sent me a note. It said, “I don’t need 30 days. Thanks.” Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Every day, we all jump into the craziness of life with little thought to the basic rules we use to run our day.  Here are a few of mine. You can borrow them if you would like: 1) Do what makes your heart sing. You'll always feel better when you are dancing down your path. 2) Believe anything is possible. As soon as you believe - everything IS possible. 3) Be nice to others. Expect them to do the same. No further explanation is required. 4) Believe in people and encourage their dreams. When you do, they'll return the favor. 5) Do the right thing. If you mess up, say you're sorry, try again.  6) Meet people where they are in their lives and walk with them to where you both want to go. 7) Do what you say you will do. It's always better to under-promise and over-deliver.  8) Make lemonade out of lemons. Everything is fixable if you have the right mindset. 9) Keep things simple. Yup. 10) Relax. Life is short. Double yup. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices