333: 5 Ways to Help Students with Writing Challenges, with Kelli Fetter

When writing becomes a daily battle, it’s not about laziness or lack of effort. It’s about overwhelm. Writing is one of the most complex tasks our brains can do. For kids with dysgraphia or other writing challenges, that cognitive load can feel crushing. In this episode, I talk with occupational therapist and handwriting expert Kelli Fetter about how to spot writing struggles early, what dysgraphia really looks like, and how you can support your child in simple, practical ways right now.Kelli shares her own journey — from an OT who hadn’t even heard of dysgraphia to a mom on a mission to help her daughter — and the powerful lessons she learned along the way. Together, we unpack five key strategies for helping kids build the foundations of writing without frustration or shame, from multisensory learning to quality practice and collaborative school partnerships.If your child avoids writing, melts down over assignments, or feels “stuck,” this conversation will bring both clarity and relief. It’s never too late to help your child feel capable and confident in expressing their ideas.Tune in to learn practical tools, empowering mindset shifts, and how to build success one letter at a time.You can find additional resources at parentingadhdandautism.com and Regulated Kids.com — because it’s not just about the struggles, it’s about progress, one step at a time.Show notes and more resources at parentingadhdandautism.com/333Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/beautifully-complex--6137613/support.

The first few weeks of a new school year can feel like a fresh start — hopeful, organized, maybe even easy. And then, just as the weather begins to cool, everything begins to unravel. Mornings turn chaotic again. Homework becomes a battle. The spark in your child’s eyes starts to fade. That October crash isn’t a failure, it’s actually biology.In this episode, I unpack why so many neurodivergent kids hit a wall a few weeks into the school year. The novelty that once lit up their brains fades, expectations rise, and their nervous systems grow tired from holding it all together. What looks like defiance or laziness is often a body saying, “I can’t keep doing it this way.” We’ll explore how to respond when school starts to feel like too much, without slipping into control or consequences. You’ll learn how to shift from asking “How do I make them do it?” to “What’s getting in the way?” and how safety, not structure, helps kids rebuild their capacity to cope.If your child’s school year feels like it’s coming undone, this conversation will help you reframe what’s happening and find your footing again. You’ll walk away with practical tools and a gentler mindset to navigate this season with compassion, connection, and calm. Listen now to learn how to meet your child where they are and bring hope back into the school year. You can find additional resources at parentingadhdandautism.com and Regulated Kids.com — because it’s not just about the struggles, it’s about progress, one step at a time.Show notes and more resources at parentingadhdandautism.com/332Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/beautifully-complex--6137613/support.

What if the most powerful shift isn’t a new strategy, but a new story about you and your child? In this heart-forward episode, I offer five truths every parent of a neurodivergent child needs to hear — reminders that land like a soft place to rest: you’re not failing; your child isn’t broken; you don’t have to do this alone; you matter too; and healing takes time. These truths aren’t platitudes. They’re anchors for those messy, brave moments when the plan falls apart, the behavior feels bigger than your tools, and the timeline stretches longer than you hoped.I’m gently reframing behavior as a signal, not a character flaw. I name the weight of comparison and judgment — and then lift it off your shoulders with language that centers nervous system safety, connection, and tiny steps forward. You’ll hear practical reassurance about regulation (yours and your child’s), why your presence matters more than perfection, and how community changes everything. If you’ve been clenching your jaw or holding your breath, this is your permission to exhale.Come for the validation; leave with a steadier nervous system and a quieter inner critic. You’ll walk away believing that one small compassionate choice today truly counts, and that both you and your child are worthy, exactly as you are. Press play and feel seen. Then share this with another parent who needs a hand to hold. Listen now.You can find additional resources at parentingadhdandautism.com and Regulated Kids.com — because it’s not just about the struggles, it’s about progress, one step at a time.Show notes and more resources at parentingadhdandautism.com/331Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/beautifully-complex--6137613/support.

What if instead of asking, “Why is my child being so difficult?” you asked yourself, “What is my child’s nervous system trying to tell me?” That small shift changes everything.As parents of neurodivergent kids, we’ve all had those moments when our child’s behavior pushes every button we have. The yelling, the defiance, the meltdowns! It’s easy to feel disrespected, rejected, or even attacked. And when that storm hits, our own nervous system often gets swept up, too.In this episode, I share a different path forward. You’ll learn how to pause and anchor yourself in the heat of the moment, how to reframe behavior as a signal instead of a problem, and why repair matters more than perfection. These simple but powerful shifts bring steadiness for you and safety for your child.This isn’t about controlling your child. It’s about grounding yourself so you can show up with the calm presence your child needs. Because when you feel steady, your child feels safer, and that’s where connection, growth, and resilience take root.👉 Tune in now to discover how to handle those button-pushing moments with more calm, compassion, and clarity.You can find additional resources at parentingadhdandautism.com and Regulated Kids.com — because it’s not just about the struggles, it’s about progress, one step at a time.Show notes and more resources at parentingadhdandautism.com/330Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/beautifully-complex--6137613/support.

What if the “problem behavior” isn’t the problem at all, but a signal? This week, we flip the script on rewards and punishments and lean into tools that actually help neurodivergent kids (and their parents) feel safer, calmer, and more connected. When a child’s nervous system is in fight/flight/freeze, the “thinking brain” goes dim. That’s why lectures, sticker charts, and lost-screen-time threats fall flat. They assume choice and control that a dysregulated brain just doesn’t have.In this episode, I unpack three simple, connection-first strategies you can try today: co-regulation before correction, offering bounded choices to restore a sense of control, and smoothing transitions so the brain has time to shift gears. You’ll hear quick snapshots: homework battles that soften with scaffolding, morning routines that move with choice, and playground goodbyes eased by gentle time warnings. These aren’t magic fixes; they’re nervous-system aware supports that lower threat, build trust, and grow real-life skills like flexibility and problem-solving.We also talk about why this approach is teaching responsibility, without fear. Consistency, safety, and autonomy wire the brain for emotional intelligence, which is what carries our kids into teens and adulthood with the capacity to regulate, adapt, and take ownership. Start tiny, celebrate small wins, and watch the ripple.Ready to feel less like a referee and more like an anchor? Listen now and try one small shift this week. Then tell me how it went. I’m cheering you on.You can find additional resources at parentingadhdandautism.com and Regulated Kids.com — because it’s not just about the struggles, it’s about progress, one step at a time.Show notes and more resources at parentingadhdandautism.com/329Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/beautifully-complex--6137613/support.

Behavior isn’t random. It’s not about disrespect, laziness, or a “bad attitude.” Every outburst, shutdown, or refusal is your child’s nervous system sending a signal.In this episode of Beautifully Complex, I’m unpacking what those signals really mean and why the labels we often put on behavior — defiance, aggression, avoidance — miss the mark. You’ll learn how to look past the surface to see the need underneath, and how shifting from control to curiosity changes everything.When you learn to decode behavior as a signal, you stop fighting the symptom and start supporting your child where they actually are. That’s the foundation of raising regulated, resilient kids who feel seen and understood.Press play and discover how to start listening to the signals beneath your child’s behavior.You can find additional resources at parentingadhdandautism.com and Regulated Kids.com — because it’s not just about the struggles, it’s about progress, one step at a time.Show notes and more resources at parentingadhdandautism.com/328Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/beautifully-complex--6137613/support.

What if your child’s meltdowns weren’t about defiance, disrespect, or “bad behavior” at all—but simply their nervous system doing what it was designed to do? In this episode, I unpack how animal instincts like Lumi the Owl, Prickles the Porcupine, Bolt the Cheetah, and Tuck the Possum signal what’s happening beneath the surface. When you learn to spot the state and meet the need, you stop wrestling with behavior and start tending the roots.We’ll talk about how to recognize each instinct, what your child actually needs in those moments, and how to support without shame, blame, or power struggles. These aren’t loopholes; they’re nervous-system-savvy ways to bring safety and connection back online.Take a deep breath with me. Let’s step into a gentler, more effective way to parent your beautifully complex child.👉 Tune in now to learn how animal instincts can transform the way you respond to your child’s behavior.You can find additional resources at parentingadhdandautism.com and Regulated Kids.com — because it’s not just about the struggles, it’s about progress, one step at a time.Show notes and more resources at parentingadhdandautism.com/327Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/beautifully-complex--6137613/support.

Your child’s biggest struggles might be the very things no one else sees.In this powerful conversation with pediatric nurse practitioner and mental health specialist Monica Garty Juice, we explore how subtle signs of neurodivergence often get dismissed, misdiagnosed, or go completely unnoticed — and what that means for our kids. Monica shares why so many complex kids are “hidden in plain sight,” how masking shows up in daily life, and what it looks like to finally be seen.We also talk about how parents often become the “quarterback” of their child’s care team — even when they’re exhausted and overwhelmed — and why slowing down and tuning into the full picture is one of the most powerful things we can do.If your child looks like they’re holding it together, but then melting down at home… this episode will feel like a deep exhale.Listen now and let this be your reminder: You’re not imagining it. You’re not alone. And you can trust your gut.You can find additional resources at parentingadhdandautism.com and Regulated Kids.com — because it’s not just about the struggles, it’s about progress, one step at a time.Show notes and more resources at parentingadhdandautism.com/326Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/beautifully-complex--6137613/support.

Ever walk into a school meeting and feel like you're already behind before you even sit down?In this episode, I’m talking with special education consultant Michelle Pianim about how we shift from feeling powerless in IEP meetings to taking proactive, confident steps for our neurodivergent kids. We unpack the culture of inclusion (or the lack thereof), how to become the expert in the room about your child, and what to do when you feel like you've hit a wall with your school team.Michelle brings decades of experience — and serious wisdom — to this conversation, including practical strategies to ask for what your child needs, gather the right data, and advocate with clarity instead of conflict.This episode is for every parent who’s ever walked out of a school meeting thinking, “What just happened?”🎧 Listen now and open the door to better outcomes, stronger advocacy, and a team that works with you — not around you.You can find additional resources at parentingadhdandautism.com and Regulated Kids.com — because it’s not just about the struggles, it’s about progress, one step at a time.Show notes and more resources at parentingadhdandautism.com/325Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/beautifully-complex--6137613/support.

What if the way you help your child is actually holding them back?In this powerful conversation with Kristin Lombardi and Christine Drew, co-authors of Spectrum of Independence, we unpack the hard-to-navigate space between support and overdoing. If you’ve ever found yourself wondering, “Am I empowering or enabling?” — this episode is a must-listen.We explore how to slowly and compassionately fade our support, why independence isn’t about going it alone, and how morning and bedtime routines can become moments of growth instead of daily battles. With real talk, gentle truth-telling, and deeply empathetic strategies, we help you make space for your child’s autonomy without sacrificing connection.Listen now to start shifting from doing it for them to teaching them how.You can find additional resources at parentingadhdandautism.com and Regulated Kids.com — because it’s not just about the struggles, it’s about progress, one step at a time.Show notes and more resources at parentingadhdandautism.com/324Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/beautifully-complex--6137613/support.