S3E7: Autistic Capacity

Hello lovely listeners 🧡💛 We are grateful for your patience and we are delighted to be back with you again! In this episode Siana speaks about her new puppy, Biscuit, and Leo shares the beginnings of his journey into adopting a dog. We then reflect on wider issues related to parenting and care-taking as an autistic person. We note the unique and valuable ways of being we bring alongside recognising our very real limitations in terms of energy and capacity. We would love to hear any comments or feedback at [email protected] 💛🧡 ----more---- LINKS   Our website Autistic Licence newsletter Our LinkedIn group for listeners Our Facebook Podcast home Our socials Get in touch at: [email protected]

Content warning: weight and body related issues, death and mortality, brief mention of suicidal ideation     This episode begins with an exploration of the impact on Siana of seeing Ariana Grande's weight loss in the Wicked For Good movie, and on Leo of hearing this in the context of his own past experiences of judgment in relation to his weight. We openly discuss and disentangle many strands within our dialogue, recognising distinctions and differences which relate specifically to being autistic and therapists.   We explore motivation and empathy overload. We also notice the evolution of some of our intervention actions over time, while still recognising that at a basic level we still experience the same instincts and drives in relation to social justice, human dignity and communicating care to others. We touch on whether true altruism exists, especially when we have so many of our own experiences of others looking the other way when we've needed support. We believe we are representing many within our community in acknowledging this.   Claude AI tells us that this conversation reveals why autistic therapists might be a particularly valuable species (we'll take that!) and why that same sensitivity makes navigating the world exhausting. This isn't an easy conversation to reflect on and to release and we hope it resonates with some of you. We would love to hear any comments or feedback at [email protected] 💛🧡 ----more---- LINKS Odd One In groups Autistic Licence newsletter Our LinkedIn group for listeners Our Facebook Our website Podcast home Our socials Get in touch at: [email protected]

This short episode was recorded a few days ago at Leo's house in Suffolk when Siana came for a pre-xmas visit. We mostly chat about managing gift-giving and surprises as autistic people. Pics on our pictures page of the wonderful illuminated garden trail we visited. Thank you for listening and for all the ways you connect with us - we love to hear from you - contact us at: [email protected] 💛🧡 ----more---- LINKS Helmingham Hall Our light trail photos Odd One In groups Autistic Licence newsletter Our LinkedIn group for listeners Our Facebook Our website Podcast home Our socials Get in touch at: [email protected]

Leo reflects on watching a Netflix show which brought up a myriad of thoughts and feelings for him around not being understood by loved ones (the double empathy problem). Siana shares some current challenges with work and business planning.  We speak about success and what that means to us as autistic people and specifically as autistic therapists. We relate this also particularly to this time (in the midst of a polycrisis) when arguably people have never been so disconnected and in need of support.   We come to a place of greater acceptance and wider perspective, whilst also acknowledging the pain and disappointment that comes with this. As ever, we are available and keen to hear from you with any comments, reflections or feedback. Contact us at: [email protected] 💛🧡 ----more---- LINKS You Can't Ask That - TV show Our Facebook Our website Podcast home Our socials Get in touch at: [email protected]

In this episode we speak about "landing on our feet". In particular, we relate this to the double empathy problem whereby the processes "behind the scenes" are often missed entirely in our interactions with non-autistic people. We share examples of our experiences in the workplace and significant relationships, noting that in some aspects our ways of being can seem to collude with the apparent opacity of the bigger picture. As Siana says, "We prioritise getting shit done rather than going on about how difficult it is!" In this context we are not referring to the often variable amounts of things we get done or the speed or efficiency of this - that's a whole other issue! Instead we are pointing out that we tend to focus what energy we have on tasks rather than ensuring others understand how hard it is.  Although we name feeling uncomfortable with it, we also experiment with taking our capabilities and resourcefulness more seriously by not underplaying our contributions. This is new and the reason we haven't edited it out is an experiment in daring to let it hit the air and stay there! Which feels like a courageous act of resistance when you've spent a lifetime playing yourself down. We believe a version of this might resonate with a great many of our neurokin. As ever, we are available and keen to hear from you with any comments, reflections or feedback. Contact us at: [email protected] 💛🧡 ----more----LINKS Book: The Luck Factor Our YouTube channel Our Facebook Our website Podcast home Our socials Get in touch at: [email protected]

Welcome to the first "From The Vault" episode. Today we're going almost back to the beginning. We're going to listen to Season 1 Episode 2, which we called "Nothing Just Happens", from two years ago. Listening back to this not only brought back memories of the beginnings of Autistic Licence, but also sparked a conversation between Siana & I about what's changed for us, and what's been reinforced. You'll hear that conversation in our next episode - "The Luck Illusion - Nothing Just Happens Revisited" which we'll release later this week. 🧡💛 Siana goes to a Deacon Blue concert and talks about stimulation and over-stimulation. We compare notes on what that feels like and what we do to recover. This sparks on ongoing conversation about how autistic people spend and recoup energy and why this may be different to the experiences of others, and why processes around managing tasks and time can be such dominant features of our lives. We talk about how "nothing just happens" in our lives. Why "it depends" and "good enough" are such important concepts to us as autistic people. An interruption by Leo's dogs Molly & Woody provides a wonderful illustration of distraction and how this effects AuDHD communication and thought! ----more---- LINKS Deacon Blue Spoon Theory An article on demand avoidance Our YouTube channel Our Facebook Our website Podcast home Our socials Get in touch at: [email protected]

Welcome to Season 3 💛 We recorded this a couple of weeks ago. We thought about cutting the bit at the beginning where we speak about Halloween in the interests of "keeping up" with the actual date of release. However, given that the rest of the episode traverses the general theme of our relationship with time, we thought we'd leave it in for context.   We speak about overwhelm and the processes we can go through around "getting things done". Leo introduces some theories around prioritising and task management which can be useful when we find ourselves feeling paralysed with task lists. Siana shares about the cyclical nature of her creative capacity to initiate new projects.   We also discuss the significance of "now" as a portal to memory and to the past ... and of the nature of our processing meaning that this circles around in very non-linear ways.    We're excited to be back for a new season and we look forward to connecting with you - all comments and feedback welcome at [email protected] 🧡💛 ----more---- LINKS Odd One In group information Our YouTube channel Our Facebook Our website Podcast home Our socials Get in touch at: [email protected]

Trigger warning for Christian evangelical culture, mention of suicidal ideation. If you have particular sensitivities around these subjects, please consider carefully whether and / or when you might listen to this episode.    This episode was recorded while Siana was visiting Leo in his new house in August. Most of the conversation ended up being a trip down memory lane, to 1995, with the usual tangents and some niche cultural reference points.    We speak about autonomy and independence, taking into account autistic needs and challenges. Themes such as the significance of justice, burnout and the toll of masking emerge through our discussion. The conversation finishes with a discussion about autistic needs verses wants, within the context of balancing ethical values with the limits of managing daily life and overwhelm as an autistic person. Thank you to our lovely listeners for all your support - we love to hear from you with comments, feedback and reflections: [email protected] 💛🧡 ----more----LINKS Odd One In group information Black Books TV show Our YouTube channel Our Facebook Our website Podcast home Our socials Get in touch at: [email protected]

This episode was recorded just a couple of days after Leo moved house from London to Suffolk, England. Leo highlights the benefits Leo of his ADHD meds in terms of maintaining focus and maximising efficiency during the move. We note wider factors and accommodations which help in managing setbacks and unexpected changes. We candidly speak about the challenges and limitations of being AuDHD - medicated or not - in western society. We pivot into an exploration of sleep, tiredness and the quite particular economy of energy we seem to share with our neurokin. Siana reflects on recent experience around neglecting special interests and how rapidly this led to exhaustion and struggle with getting things done. We reappraise again the value of detailed-focussed externalising, which while seemingly inconsequential, offers significant value and settling to us as autistic people.   Any thoughts or comments to [email protected] 💛🧡 ----more----LINKS Group info Our YouTube channel Our Facebook Our website Podcast home Our socials Get in touch at: [email protected]

This episode, on listening back, sounds a bit like a whistle stop tour of everything both of us has ever thought about our relationships with things and particularly about "moving" with them. We speak about moving house and / or office and the significance of replication and familiarity in our new environments. We noted how this can extend to holidays and even simply leaving the house. We differentiate between different types of attachments we have to things, from the sentimental to the practical, even to the existential. As we explore further we begin to notice some distinctive ways in which we relate to things as autistic people. The relationship / attachment autistic people have with inanimate objects has often been misunderstood, dismissed and even pathologised by non-autistic onlookers. We would love to hear from you if our chat resonates with you or if you have further thoughts or comments -  [email protected] 💛🧡 LINKS Picture of Siana's buttons Group info Our YouTube channel Our Facebook Our website Podcast home Our socials Get in touch at: [email protected]