"Trust Yourself": Advice from Applicants and Parents Who've Been Where You are Going

In the season seven finale, Dartmouth's Kathryn Bezella discusses lessons gleaned from her first year as an admissions dean with Lee Coffin, who just completed his 30th year in such a role. In a candid conversation about what they each bring to the conference table where decisions are made, the Dartmouth duo muse about the "roller coaster dynamic" of leading a very selective admissions process, mastering its invisible gears, overcoming nerves, and juggling various priorities while preserving and respecting each student's voice in an increasingly high volume of applications.  

For many high school seniors, the college search is an all-consuming process with three clear goals: apply to college, get into college, pick a college. Then, in May, it comes to a hard stop. Now what? Mary Pat McMahon, vice president and vice provost for student affairs at Duke University and AB host Lee Coffin from Dartmouth map out in both practical and philosophical terms the transition from searching for a college to enrolling in one. Drawing on many years of experience in a variety of academic settings, they share tips on navigating the aftermath of the college admissions process as the proverbial baton gets passed from the admissions office to student affairs.

Meet Luis Aguero, a first-generation college-bound student from San Bernardino, Paraguay. Self-taught in English as well as the unfamiliar ways of the college admissions process in the United States, Luis navigated his admissions process entirely on his own: "I didn't have any information at all, I had to go out of my way to learn about the colleges, to learn about admissions and how it works..." He followed his dream toward an American undergraduate experience with the help of the U.S. State Department's EducationUSA program in Paraguay, a book he found about college admissions, and a certain podcast that appeared in his newsfeed. "There's a lot of talk about holistic admissions, but listening to you made me believe it," he tells Coffin. To anyone without a working knowledge of selective college admissions, Luis offers an accessible playbook for self-advocacy. 

Mindy Kaling joins AB for its 100th episode as the multi-talented Hollywood star and Dartmouth alumna remembers her own college admissions process in which "I wasn't thinking about the correct things." A high-achieving "comedy nerd" who had been weaned on "mountains of flashcards,” Mindy ponders her journey from home to college as she battled procrastination and a lack of confidence and  faced her immigrant family’s high expectations for admissions “success.” Mindy candidly muses about "striving to feel special" as she "chased the feeling of acceptance" as a Latin-loving, theater-focused high school student. She shares the salient lessons of disappointment after her initial college ambitions did not materialize as well as her serendipitous "pivot" towards new opportunities as she moved forward. Whether auditioning for a role, creating a script, or penning a college essay, Mindy underscores the value of "authenticity and freshness" in one's storytelling as she advises future applicants to "be unafraid to be yourself."

AB's third annual open-ended conversation with applicants and parents at Dartmouth's admitted student open house offers insights and tips from those who have just navigated a successful college search. AB host and Dartmouth Dean Lee Coffin and recurring cohost Jacques Steinberg field wide-ranging comments and questions about admissions-induced procrastination, the value of authenticity in storytelling, and stress management in the face of looming deadlines and decisions. As one student observes, "Trust yourself, because you know yourself best." 

Extracurricular activities, which are essential ingredients of any college application, yield lessons and skillsets that animate a student's story. Reflecting on his own experience in the drama club at Shelton High School in Connecticut, AB host and Dartmouth Dean Lee Coffin welcomes Gary and Fran Scarpa, the longtime directors of Shelton's drama program, for an unusually personal conversation about what Coffin learned from being actively involved in their productions. "You made me an extrovert," he tells them. The trio reflects on how lessons from the stage—or from a playing field, lab, or church youth group—inform the discovery phase of a college search and provide rich material for the application narrative. Although everyone wants to be a winner, "you don’t aways get the part,” Lee advises applicants. “You’re not all going to be the valedictorian of your class. How do you perform, learn, grow from what you have? Why are you doing what you do when you are not in class? How does it enliven the story of you? Bring that forward.”

Veteran college counselor Doug Burdett, from Brunswick School in Connecticut, joins his longtime colleague and AB host Lee Coffin as they ponder the lessons from their 30-year careers on both sides of the admissions counseling desk. Drawing from those innumerable interactions with students and parents, they muse about the unintended pitfalls that can misdirect a college search just as it gets started. Burdett advises prospective applicants and parents to "focus on community, not the name" as the impulse to "dream big" is balanced against a more pragmatic need to proceed with a sense of what's responsible and realistic. "A terrible list," warns Burdett, "is imbalanced." And if you don’t like an option after exploring it, Burdett says that's "fantastic," because "everything you learn helps test your assumptions about what you like.”

Marcia Hunt, past president of the National Association for College Admission Counseling and the longtime dean of college advising at Florida's Pine Crest School, joins AB host Lee Coffin as he recreates his "Advice to Parents" presentation from Pine Crest's junior kickoff in January. As he shares his tips for successful admissions parenting, Hunt offers context for what he advises as she channels her work with literally thousands of families over the course of her long tenure. She also shares thoughts on how to be a cooperative parent and how to maintain a happy home as a college search kicks into high gear. "Children will listen," Coffin muses as he highlights a memorable passage from Sondheim's poignant musical, Into the Woods. "They do," Marcia concurs.

College admission decisions for the high school class of 2025 have landed, and now it's time for seniors and their parents to assess those outcomes and move towards an enrollment decision by the National Candidate's Reply Date on May 1. Chris Gruber from Davidson College in North Carolina and college counselor Kate Ramsdell from Noble & Greenough School in Massachusetts join AB host Lee Coffin to guide students through April with confidence and a sense of purpose.

Twenty-five years after New York Times education reporter Jacques Steinberg, author of The Gatekeepers: Inside the Admissions Process of a Premier College, spent a year observing at close range the selection process at Wesleyan University, Steinberg joined admission officers at Dartmouth for a day inside its selection committee. After his "fly on the wall" day in Hanover, he quizzes Admissions Beat host and Dartmouth dean Lee Coffin about what he saw and heard as applicants from California entered the admissions spotlight. "I would smile when a student would take the time to tell you something that really made them a person, where you could actually almost see and feel having them there. And you all got that message, surfaced it, talked about it. It became part of the discussion," Steinberg tells Coffin, reassuring applicants that the time and care they put into telling their stories to colleges is well worth the effort.