287. "Lily" - Pt 1 of 2 Pts - Survivor of Gaslighting and Despicable Abuse

The mission of this podcast is to allow survivors of dating abuse and domestic violence to speak their truth about what they experienced. We do this with very little editorial censorship. This survivor story comes with warnings about severe physical violence. The depictions are disturbing and can be triggering to some listeners. In part two, of this two-part story with Lily and Sam. At this point in this toxic relationship, Lily needs to move out of the house she was renting. Although she avoided moving in with Sam at his home, she now feels she has to do this. The consequences of living with this man are distressing to hear about. It is impossible to understand how someone could become so cruel. Especially to someone they claim they love. When listening to the story, you may be tempted to judge Lily for the unfortunate choices she made. But, having listened to many of these stories, I urge you to keep in mind that abusive offenders are predators and, over time, they become masters of manipulation over their prey. Lily was caught up in something she did not recognize for what it was. This is Lily's story -- part two of two parts. Bill Mitchell NOTE: If you are a survivor and want to share your story of abuse on the WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast, please email me: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ The ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠WHEN DATING HURTS book⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ (in paperback, eBook, and audiobook) can be found on Amazon. HELPFUL RESOURCES: • National Domestic Violence Hotline – ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Hotline.org ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠– Call 800-799-SAFE • ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LoveIsRespect⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ – Call 866-331-9474 • RAINN (Rape Abuse Incest National Network) – ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠RAINN.org⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ – Call 800-656-4673 • SUICIDE HELPLINE: Call 988 Thank you for listening to our WHEN DATING HURTS podcast, Bill Mitchell ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠WhenDatingHurts.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ DISCLAIMER: The WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast is providing this platform for information to be shared. We do not state with any certainty that anything is true or untrue. Understand that what you hear is the viewpoint of the people sharing. The information, opinions, and recommendations presented in this Podcast are for general information only. Any reliance on the information provided in this Podcast is done at your own risk. This Podcast should not be considered professional advice. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The mission of this podcast is to allow survivors of dating abuse and domestic violence to speak their truth about what they experienced. We do this with very little editorial censorship. This survivor story comes with warnings about severe physical violence. The depictions are disturbing and can be triggering to some listeners. In part one, of a two-part story with Lily and Sam, you will hear about strange happenings too weird to explain. When listening to the story, you may be tempted to judge Lily for the unfortunate choices she made. But, having listened to many of these stories, I urge you to keep in mind that abusive offenders are predators and, over time, they become masters of manipulation over their prey. Lily was caught up in something she did not recognize for what it was. This is Lily's story part one of two parts. Bill Mitchell NOTE: If you are a survivor and want to share your story of abuse on the WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast, please email me: ⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠ The ⁠⁠⁠⁠WHEN DATING HURTS book⁠⁠⁠⁠ (in paperback, eBook, and audiobook) can be found on Amazon. HELPFUL RESOURCES: • National Domestic Violence Hotline – ⁠⁠⁠⁠The Hotline.org ⁠⁠⁠⁠– Call 800-799-SAFE • ⁠⁠⁠⁠LoveIsRespect⁠⁠⁠⁠ – Call 866-331-9474 • RAINN (Rape Abuse Incest National Network) – ⁠⁠⁠⁠RAINN.org⁠⁠⁠⁠ – Call 800-656-4673 • SUICIDE HELPLINE: Call 988 Thank you for listening to our WHEN DATING HURTS podcast, Bill Mitchell ⁠⁠⁠⁠WhenDatingHurts.com⁠⁠⁠⁠ DISCLAIMER: The WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast is providing this platform for information to be shared. We do not state with any certainty that anything is true or untrue. Understand that what you hear is the viewpoint of the people sharing. The information, opinions, and recommendations presented in this Podcast are for general information only. Any reliance on the information provided in this Podcast is done at your own risk. This Podcast should not be considered professional advice. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode of WHEN DATING HURTS includes warnings and disclaimers. Within this three-part story, there are descriptions with adult language, vaping, emotional abuse, physical abuse, sexual abuse, and several attempted suicides. This podcast never intends to be sensational. The truth about dating abuse and domestic violence is needed as a warning to you learn all you can about this subject so it never hurts you or those you care about. If you have not heard Kayla's two-part story, (WHEN DATING HURTS episodes 281 and 283), I urge you to do so before listening to this episode. In Kayla's story, (episode 281) we learn she was was an offender's fourth consecutive victim. She helps set up what you will hear in this episode and episodes (284 and 285). This series illustrates how an offender often moves from one victim to the next. The common thread in all of these narratives? Richard. What this serial offender managed to do in his despicable campaign is severely damage the lives of a long list of innocent women. This is part three of a three-part series. It is Roxie's story. Be sure to also listen to part one (Patricia, episode 284), and part two (Briana, episode 285). These were published on the same day so you are able to hear them without waiting for releases. Bill Mitchell NOTE: If you are a survivor and want to share your story of abuse on the WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast, please email me: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ The ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠WHEN DATING HURTS book⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ (in paperback, eBook, and audiobook) can be found on Amazon. HELPFUL RESOURCES: • National Domestic Violence Hotline – ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Hotline.org ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠– Call 800-799-SAFE • ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LoveIsRespect⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ – Call 866-331-9474 • RAINN (Rape Abuse Incest National Network) – ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠RAINN.org⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ – Call 800-656-4673 • SUICIDE HELPLINE: Call 988 Thank you for listening to our WHEN DATING HURTS podcast, Bill Mitchell ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠WhenDatingHurts.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ DISCLAIMER: The WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast is providing this platform for information to be shared. We do not state with any certainty that anything is true or untrue. Understand that what you hear is the viewpoint of the people sharing. The information, opinions, and recommendations presented in this Podcast are for general information only. Any reliance on the information provided in this Podcast is done at your own risk. This Podcast should not be considered professional advice. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode of WHEN DATING HURTS includes warnings and disclaimers. Within this three-part story, there are descriptions with adult language, vaping, emotional abuse, physical abuse, sexual abuse, and several attempted suicides. This podcast never intends to be sensational. The truth about dating abuse and domestic violence is needed as a warning to you learn all you can about this subject so it never hurts you or those you care about. If you have not heard Kayla's two-part story, (WHEN DATING HURTS episodes 281 and 283), I urge you to do so before listening to this episode. In Kayla's story, (episode 281) we learn she was was an offender's fourth consecutive victim. She helps set up what you will hear in this episode and episodes (284 and 286). This series illustrates how an offender often moves from one victim to the next. The common thread in all of these narratives? Richard. What this serial offender managed to do in his despicable campaign is severely damage the lives of a long list of innocent women. This is part two of a three-part series. It is Briana's story. Be sure to also listen to part one (Patricia, episode 284), and part three (Roxie, episode 286). These were published on the same day so you are able to hear them without waiting for releases. Bill Mitchell NOTE: If you are a survivor and want to share your story of abuse on the WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast, please email me: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ The ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠WHEN DATING HURTS book⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ (in paperback, eBook, and audiobook) can be found on Amazon. HELPFUL RESOURCES: • National Domestic Violence Hotline – ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Hotline.org ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠– Call 800-799-SAFE • ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LoveIsRespect⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ – Call 866-331-9474 • RAINN (Rape Abuse Incest National Network) – ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠RAINN.org⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ – Call 800-656-4673 • SUICIDE HELPLINE: Call 988 Thank you for listening to our WHEN DATING HURTS podcast, Bill Mitchell ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠WhenDatingHurts.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ DISCLAIMER: The WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast is providing this platform for information to be shared. We do not state with any certainty that anything is true or untrue. Understand that what you hear is the viewpoint of the people sharing. The information, opinions, and recommendations presented in this Podcast are for general information only. Any reliance on the information provided in this Podcast is done at your own risk. This Podcast should not be considered professional advice. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode of WHEN DATING HURTS includes warnings and disclaimers. Within this three-part story, there are descriptions with adult language, vaping, emotional abuse, physical abuse, sexual abuse, and several attempted suicides. This podcast never intends to be sensational. The truth about dating abuse and domestic violence is needed as a warning to you learn all you can about this subject so it never hurts you or those you care about. If you have not heard Kayla's two-part story, (WHEN DATING HURTS episodes 281 and 283), I urge you to do so before listening to this episode. In Kayla's story, (episode 281) we learn she was was an offender's fourth consecutive victim. She helps set up what you will hear in this episode and the following two episodes (285 and 286). This series illustrates how an offender often moves from one victim to the next. The common thread in all of these narratives? Richard. What this serial offender managed to do in his despicable campaign is severely damage the lives of a long list of innocent women. This is part one, Patricia's story. Be sure to listen to part two (Briana, episode 285), and part three (Roxie, episode 286). These were published on the same day so you are able to hear them without waiting for releases. Bill Mitchell NOTE: If you are a survivor and want to share your story of abuse on the WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast, please email me: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ The ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠WHEN DATING HURTS book⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ (in paperback, eBook, and audiobook) can be found on Amazon. HELPFUL RESOURCES: • National Domestic Violence Hotline – ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Hotline.org ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠– Call 800-799-SAFE • ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LoveIsRespect⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ – Call 866-331-9474 • RAINN (Rape Abuse Incest National Network) – ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠RAINN.org⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ – Call 800-656-4673 • SUICIDE HELPLINE: Call 988 Thank you for listening to our WHEN DATING HURTS podcast, Bill Mitchell ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠WhenDatingHurts.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ DISCLAIMER: The WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast is providing this platform for information to be shared. We do not state with any certainty that anything is true or untrue. Understand that what you hear is the viewpoint of the people sharing. The information, opinions, and recommendations presented in this Podcast are for general information only. Any reliance on the information provided in this Podcast is done at your own risk. This Podcast should not be considered professional advice. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Katie Campbell is president and chief executive officer of RedRover, a national nonprofit organization dedicated to helping animals and people escaping domestic violence. They support pet-friendly emergency housing and provide disaster relief for animals. This is episode is worth listening to a few times because it's rich in attending to the needs of. those living with their pets in peril. I am so happy Katie and I did this interview. My love for survivors and pets is my passion, and with RedRover, I can help both in real ways. Bill Mitchell Important links so you can get involved with RedRover: RedRover main website Ways to support/donate Ways to volunteer RedRover store The Purple Leash Project NOTE: If you are a survivor and want to share your story of abuse on the WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast, please email me: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ The ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠WHEN DATING HURTS book⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ (in paperback, eBook, and audiobook) can be found on Amazon. HELPFUL RESOURCES: • National Domestic Violence Hotline – ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Hotline.org ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠– Call 800-799-SAFE • ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LoveIsRespect⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ – Call 866-331-9474 • RAINN (Rape Abuse Incest National Network) – ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠RAINN.org⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ – Call 800-656-4673 • SUICIDE HELPLINE: Call 988 Thank you for listening to our WHEN DATING HURTS podcast, Bill Mitchell ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠WhenDatingHurts.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ DISCLAIMER: The WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast is providing this platform for information to be shared. We do not state with any certainty that anything is true or untrue. Understand that what you hear is the viewpoint of the people sharing. The information, opinions, and recommendations presented in this Podcast are for general information only. Any reliance on the information provided in this Podcast is done at your own risk. This Podcast should not be considered professional advice. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is part two of two parts with Kayla. Survivors sometimes fall into traps when they don't trust their gut. Or when they don't take basic steps to stay safe. Survivors make mistakes just like you and I. But survivors' mistakes often make them pay dearly. Sometimes for the rest of their lives. Kayla's story puts her mistakes on full display. She never imagined how she'd pay for them the rest of her life. Had she trusted herself, she would have missed out on the continuing sketchy behavior and abuse from Richard Now we know, Richard is a serial abuser. You see, one bad actor can alter the pads of many innocent lives. Let's learn from Kayla's story. Share it with those who can benefit from it. And thanks to Kayla for bringing this cautionary tale to us. Bill Mitchell NOTE: If you are a survivor and want to share your story of abuse on the WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast, please email me: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ The ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠WHEN DATING HURTS book⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ (in paperback, eBook, and audiobook) can be found on Amazon. HELPFUL RESOURCES: • National Domestic Violence Hotline – ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Hotline.org ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠– Call 800-799-SAFE • ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LoveIsRespect⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ – Call 866-331-9474 • RAINN (Rape Abuse Incest National Network) – ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠RAINN.org⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ – Call 800-656-4673 • SUICIDE HELPLINE: Call 988 Thank you for listening to our WHEN DATING HURTS podcast, Bill Mitchell ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠WhenDatingHurts.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ DISCLAIMER: The WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast is providing this platform for information to be shared. We do not state with any certainty that anything is true or untrue. Understand that what you hear is the viewpoint of the people sharing. The information, opinions, and recommendations presented in this Podcast are for general information only. Any reliance on the information provided in this Podcast is done at your own risk. This Podcast should not be considered professional advice. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is part one of two parts with Kayla. Survivors sometimes fall into traps when they don't trust their gut. Or when they don't take basic steps to stay safe. Survivors make mistakes just like you and I. But survivors' mistakes often make them pay dearly. Sometimes for the rest of their lives. Kayla's story puts her mistakes on full display. She never imagined how she'd pay for them the rest of her life. Had she trusted herself, she would have missed out on the continuing sketchy behavior and abuse from Richard Now we know, Richard is a serial abuser. You see, one bad actor can alter the pads of many innocent lives. Let's learn from Kayla's story. Share it with those who can benefit from it. And thanks to Kayla for bringing this cautionary tale to us. Bill Mitchell NOTE: If you are a survivor and want to share your story of abuse on the WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast, please email me: ⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠ The ⁠⁠⁠⁠WHEN DATING HURTS book⁠⁠⁠⁠ (in paperback, eBook, and audiobook) can be found on Amazon. HELPFUL RESOURCES: • National Domestic Violence Hotline – ⁠⁠⁠⁠The Hotline.org ⁠⁠⁠⁠– Call 800-799-SAFE • ⁠⁠⁠⁠LoveIsRespect⁠⁠⁠⁠ – Call 866-331-9474 • RAINN (Rape Abuse Incest National Network) – ⁠⁠⁠⁠RAINN.org⁠⁠⁠⁠ – Call 800-656-4673 • SUICIDE HELPLINE: Call 988 Thank you for listening to our WHEN DATING HURTS podcast, Bill Mitchell ⁠⁠⁠⁠WhenDatingHurts.com⁠⁠⁠⁠ DISCLAIMER: The WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast is providing this platform for information to be shared. We do not state with any certainty that anything is true or untrue. Understand that what you hear is the viewpoint of the people sharing. The information, opinions, and recommendations presented in this Podcast are for general information only. Any reliance on the information provided in this Podcast is done at your own risk. This Podcast should not be considered professional advice. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We want you to hear from the mind of an abuser once more... This episode, our seventh in this "Mind of the Abuser" series, comes with content and trigger warnings: Domestic abuse, domestic violence, language, and graphic violence. There is little chance we will get an abuser to join us on this podcast and do a recorded interview. But we have heard enough about the minds of abusers to have insights into what we would hear. It would sound like the justification of actions taken only to gain control over another person. It would be a relentless pushback. There would be no apologies. That is what you will hear in this episode. This episode will talk about the Warning Signs of a potentially unhealthy (dangerous) relationship. But, this is from an abuser's point of view. The voice you will hear on this WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast episode was created by a computer program. It is not a real person's voice. The words spoken are a composite of beliefs and concepts expressed by dating and domestic abusers found within articles and interviews. They have been collected over nearly two decades. They have been reassembled as complete ideas and thoughts.   This episode illustrates how abusers portray themselves as victims. There is not one "portrait" that fits all abusers, of course, but many never take ownership of their words or actions, and they justify their abusive and destructive behavior.   Bill Mitchell NOTE: If you are a survivor and want to share your story of abuse on the WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast, please email me: ⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠ The ⁠⁠WHEN DATING HURTS book⁠⁠ (in paperback, eBook, and audiobook) can be found on Amazon. HELPFUL RESOURCES: • National Domestic Violence Hotline – ⁠⁠The Hotline.org ⁠⁠– Call 800-799-SAFE • ⁠⁠LoveIsRespect⁠⁠ – Call 866-331-9474 • RAINN (Rape Abuse Incest National Network) – ⁠⁠RAINN.org⁠⁠ – Call 800-656-4673 • SUICIDE HELPLINE: Call 988 Thank you for listening to our WHEN DATING HURTS podcast, Bill Mitchell ⁠⁠WhenDatingHurts.com⁠⁠ DISCLAIMER: The WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast is providing this platform for information to be shared. We do not state with any certainty that anything is true or untrue. Understand that what you hear is the viewpoint of the people sharing. The information, opinions, and recommendations presented in this Podcast are for general information only. Any reliance on the information provided in this Podcast is done at your own risk. This Podcast should not be considered professional advice. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hannah Hembree Bell is an award-winning Austin family law attorney, mom of four, and founder and CEO of one of the fastest-growing family law firms in the country, Hembree Bell Law. After experiencing her own difficult divorce and custody battle, she built a framework to help women avoid the same mistakes. Today, through her firm and her national education community, My Confident Divorce, Hannah equips women with the strategy and tools they need to protect their kids, finances, and future. This time we speak with Hannah, who exhibited great courage to evolve from a wife to a mother to a victim to a survivor to a lawyer to a divorce lawyer. Hannah Hembree Bell, a lawyer with the Hembree Bell Law Firm, talks about her full ascension to the champion she is for those seeking a divorce. Hannah gives a candid portrayal of herself growing up and into the strong woman she is today. She once felt she was not good enough until she tried law school. That is when she truly took off in life. In the latter part of this episode, Hannah talks about free (invaluable) advice she offers that you can access at her website. You can access this information here: MyConfidentDivorce.com. There is also a place where you can find a whole community of people helping each other manage through their divorces. It can be found here: MyConfidentDivorce.com/circle. We hope this episode is helpful. We want you and those you care about to recognize abuse and abusers right away. That's because, the longer a person remains in an abusive or unhealthy relationship, the more difficult it will be to break free. More links: Access Hannah’s free divorce guide at MyConfidentDivorce.com  Find Hannah at hannahhembreebell.com and her law firm at hembreebell.com  Bill Mitchell NOTE: If you are a survivor and want to share your story of abuse on the WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast, please email me: ⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠ The ⁠⁠⁠WHEN DATING HURTS book⁠⁠⁠ (in paperback, eBook, and audiobook) can be found on Amazon. HELPFUL RESOURCES: • National Domestic Violence Hotline – ⁠⁠⁠The Hotline.org ⁠⁠⁠– Call 800-799-SAFE • ⁠⁠⁠LoveIsRespect⁠⁠⁠ – Call 866-331-9474 • RAINN (Rape Abuse Incest National Network) – ⁠⁠⁠RAINN.org⁠⁠⁠ – Call 800-656-4673 • SUICIDE HELPLINE: Call 988 Thank you for listening to our WHEN DATING HURTS podcast, Bill Mitchell ⁠⁠⁠WhenDatingHurts.com⁠⁠⁠ DISCLAIMER: The WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast is providing this platform for information to be shared. We do not state with any certainty that anything is true or untrue. Understand that what you hear is the viewpoint of the people sharing. The information, opinions, and recommendations presented in this Podcast are for general information only. Any reliance on the information provided in this Podcast is done at your own risk. This Podcast should not be considered professional advice. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices