Life After Alcohol: Learning to Love Yourself More with Paula Muller

Episode #327 I'm so glad you're here! Please bookmark this episode if you need help in working through the "drinking chatter" and any romantic thoughts about drinking, if you are working on living an alcohol-free lifestyle.  If you’re a woman in midlife working on living alcohol-free, this episode is for you. “Playing the tape forward” is a favorite practice of many women who are working on living an alcohol-free lifestyle. One of the biggest challenges is the thoughts and ideas about drinking - the “drinking chatter” as I like to call it. What “playing the tape forward” means: It’s about being honest with yourself about your drinking. Visualizing what happens after the first sip of alcohol (which I walk you through in this episode) to the last, to help you get clear on what plays out for you. I help you get clear on what happens if you drink versus if you don’t. Whether you drink occasionally or daily, this practice helps you see the real outcome of taking that first sip. I also share a few of my journal entries from when I stopped drinking in 2013 that still help me remember the reality of my drinking.  Click here to read the full show notes.    Join my email community to keep in touch and learn more about upcoming episodes and offers.  Download my Daily Sobriety Toolkit here.  Send me an email for Private Coaching: [email protected] Visit my website       Team Alcohol-Free (TAF) is an online community created exclusively for midlife women who have chosen to live alcohol-free. Gain access to weekly meetings, daily inspiration, and lots of connections with midlife women who are living alcohol-free. Plus, you will receive long-term support for a one-time investment, + additional resources added monthly. TAF was established in 2023, and we are growing stronger together! If you feel like you've been missing out on alcohol-free girlfriends and coaching, join us today! Go here to enroll    

Episode 325  Hello, friend! Thank you for being here.  If you're in your first year of sobriety, congratulations!   I'm very proud of you wherever you are on this road to alcohol freedom in midlife.  During this episode, I'm sharing the things that helped me stay alcohol-free during my first year.  I stopped drinking in 2013, choosing to go it alone. I stuck to simplicity because that is all I knew. I wasn't sure if I was doing things "right," but here we are today, almost 12 years later.  I've been able to sustain sobriety because I've done what works for me. This is what I encourage you to do in this episode.  Here is what I did during my first year: I committed fully to sobriety as my priority, despite not being naturally disciplined. I focused on my why - feeling better, aging better, and not continuing to repeat the same life year after year I celebrated my progress (eventually), saying yay, me! became a fun habit. I protected myself by avoiding situations that might tempt me to drink. I kept busy with my business and productive activities instead of drinking. I started "Project Me" by making exercise my focus and using my gym membership. I read quit-lit books that inspired and guided me through early sobriety. I learned to sit with discomfort instead of numbing out with alcohol. I talked about my feelings instead of bottling them up. I allowed myself sugar and other substitutes without guilt.  Disclaimer: This episode is not intended to be a substitute for any medical advice.  Go here to read this episode's details and show notes. Thank you for listening! Yay, you!!  Please send me an email to share what is working for you.    Are you looking for a community? Join the Team! Team Alcohol-Free (TAF) is an online community created exclusively for midlife women who have chosen to live alcohol-free. Gain access to weekly meetings, daily inspiration, and lots of connections with midlife women who are living alcohol-free. Plus, you will receive long-term support for a one-time investment, + additional resources added monthly. TAF was established in 2023, and we are growing stronger together! If you feel like you've been missing out on alcohol-free girlfriends and coaching, join us today! Go here to enroll  

Episode 325  Hello! I'm so happy you're here!  This podcast is all about living alcohol-free later in life, and my guest today, Paula Muller, is living proof of living alcohol-free later in life.   Paula is an incredibly supportive member of my online community, who brought this wonderful topic of learning to love yourself more to me as a topic. When I heard it, I was "all in!"  Paula shares her story of starting to drink at 13, how alcohol became part of her identity, and what led to her decision to stop drinking for good on April 8, 2024—a night in a hotel room that changed everything. We discuss how Paula navigated her stepdaughter’s wedding alcohol-free, the mindset shift that’s come with celebrating her first year sober, and how self-love has become possible for her only after letting go of alcohol. Paula discusses the ups and downs of early sobriety, the importance of trusting the process, and the resources and practices that have helped her along the way.  You can go here to read the full show notes. Thank you for listening!    Mentioned in This Episode  Here is her favorite Alcohol Removed Prosecco.    Team Alcohol-Free (TAF) is an online community created exclusively for midlife women who have chosen to live alcohol-free. Gain access to weekly meetings, daily inspiration, and lots of connections with midlife women who are living alcohol-free. Plus, you will receive long-term support for a one-time investment, + additional resources added monthly. TAF was established in 2023, and we are growing stronger together! If you feel like you've been missing out on alcohol-free girlfriends and coaching, join us today! Go here to enroll   Check out these episodes next: Listen When You Feel Left Out Because You Don't Drink Outgrowing Yourself in Midlife The Bright Side of Going Alcohol-Free in Midlife   Help me spread the word! There is another option besides drinking in midlife. If you liked this episode and want to take a few minutes to support the podcast, I want to encourage you to leave a positive rating and review on Apple Podcasts. So many women out there don’t know there is an “alcohol-free” option and are struggling with their drinking. Your support will help these women find the podcast this week and learn about an alcohol-free lifestyle later in life. ➡️Click here, scroll to the bottom of the page, tap to rate with five stars, and select “Write a Review.” I read my reviews and will hug you when I see yours. Make sure to “follow” To 50 and Beyond to get all of the wonderful episodes coming your way. If you don’t click “follow," you will miss hearing what’s coming up. Thank you!    

Episode 323 Welcome back to the To 50 and Beyond Podcast! I've missed being here with you. Coming your way are brand new episodes for the summer, starting with today's episode, which is all about staying alcohol-free on the "patio" this summer.  Your "patio" is any challenge, including a literal patio, that you are concerned may come between you and your alcohol-free lifestyle.  What you’ll hear: I'll help you identify what your specific summer triggers are instead of feeling overwhelmed by "not drinking all summer.” The reason why trying to live the same summer as when you were drinking can leave you feeling let down. I share my own experience with patios, summer wines, and how I had to change things up. Practical ways to transform your challenging spaces—whether that means skipping your Aunt Sally's barbecue or making your patio an alcohol-free friendly zone with new plants and glassware. I'll share how I went from avoiding my couch to creating new rituals, and how you can decide what works for you (and change your mind anytime). We get one summer of 2025 - let's make it the one you want, not the one you've lived in the past.  I'm with you!  Thank you for listening!    Join the Team!  Team Alcohol-Free (TAF) is an online community created exclusively for midlife women who have chosen to live alcohol-free. Gain access to weekly meetings, daily inspiration, and lots of connections with midlife women who are living alcohol-free.  Plus, you will receive long-term support for a one-time investment, + additional resources added monthly. TAF was established in 2023, and we are growing stronger together! If you feel like you've been missing out on alcohol-free girlfriends and coaching, join us today!  Go here to enroll   Check out these episodes next: Listen When You Feel Left Out Because You Don't Drink Outgrowing Yourself in Midlife The Bright Side of Going Alcohol-Free in Midlife   Help me spread the word! There is another option besides drinking in midlife. If you liked this episode and want to take a few minutes to support the podcast, I want to encourage you to leave a positive rating and review on Apple Podcasts. So many women out there don’t know there is an “alcohol-free” option and are struggling with their drinking. Your support will help these women find the podcast this week and learn about an alcohol-free lifestyle later in life. ➡️Click here, scroll to the bottom of the page, tap to rate with five stars, and select “Write a Review.” I read my reviews and will hug you when I see yours. Make sure to “follow” To 50 and Beyond to get all of the wonderful episodes coming your way. If you don’t click “follow," you will miss hearing what’s coming up. Thank you!    

Download the Daily Sobriety Toolkit to help you plan your day and stay connected to your choice to be alcohol-free.  Episode 323 Hello, friend!  This episode is one to come back to whenever you feel alone in choosing to live alcohol-free. Whether you’re at home watching your favorite show where drinking is everywhere (hello, Real Housewives!) or at a party surrounded by drinkers, your choice to be alcohol-free is a badass one. You’re never truly left out when you’re choosing what’s right for you, and you always have support and community here with me and with other women making the same choice. I’m right here with you. Thank you for listening. If you liked this episode and want to hear more, please make sure to "follow" the podcast and consider leaving a rating and review on Apple or Spotify.  Are you looking for a supportive community to help you enjoy your alcohol-free lifestyle and not feel left out?  Join Team Alcohol-Free and connect with a coach who truly cares (that’s me!), weekly online meetings designed for real growth, and a daily support thread that’s fun, empowering, and a fantastic resource for midlife women. Join the Team here.    If you would like to work with me privately, please send me an email.    

Episode 322 Hey there! Thank you for being here. We are on a break after today. 💗 New podcast episodes will be coming your way in late spring.  This episode is dedicated to the women worldwide who are doing the work to live an alcohol-free lifestyle and build a better, more trustworthy relationship with themselves.  I see you and I stand with you. With summer approaching faster than we'd like and warm weather months ahead, I want to talk about shifting our focus from negotiating with alcohol to negotiating for ourselves to live the life we want. Summer can be challenging, and the temptation to have "just one" drink is real—no matter how long you've been alcohol-free.  In this episode, I want to empower you to stay strong in your choice not to drink, even when the urge to negotiate with alcohol feels overwhelming. You deserve one more day without alcohol, which is one more day in favor of you!  I’m with you.   Mentioned in this episode:  To stay in touch and receive blog articles and podcast updates, join my email community here.   To join my community for midlife women and beyond, go here.    

Episode 321  The purpose of this episode is to take a moment to check in with you and your relationship with alcohol in honor of April being Alcohol Awareness Month.   Whether you're alcohol-free curious, navigating early sobriety, or embracing long-term sobriety, this episode serves as both a reminder and a reflection—a chance to reconnect with the truth about you and alcohol. As a recovering "avoider," I share my story and the level of acceptance I reached when I stopped drinking, along with what I’ve come to know for sure about my relationship with alcohol after 11 years of sobriety.   I also discuss what to do when you find yourself romanticizing alcohol to help you stay committed to living alcohol-free. I've got you!  Thank you for listening!    Mentioned in this episode:  Team Alcohol-Free is open for enrollment  If you're looking to work with me and connect with a community of women who truly understand your journey and support your alcohol-free lifestyle, join Team Alcohol-Free before enrollment closes on April 11th. Join today! Team Alcohol-Free   Send me an email  Work with me 1:1                           

Episode 320  Tired of long to-do lists and playing catch-up? Yeah, me too!  If you feel like you're working hard at catching up and have to wait to relax until you do, this episode is for you!  I've had an epiphany about the unrealistic expectations I put on myself. One day, a few weeks ago, I said ENOUGH! I'm working towards being more intentional with my time and energy to get done what is important and taking a break even with a long list of to-do's!  In this episode, I share my truth and encourage you to be honest and realistic with yourself if you need more time for yourself and your tasks are standing in your way.  The prompts I use in this episode:  What can I do? Focus on 1-3 things a day.  What can't I do? What is outside of your control - leave it.  What do I want to do or don't want to do? Get rid of the fluff to be more intentional with what brings you joy and energy.  What can I save for later? Write it down and tuck that "later list" away.  I'm with you!  Send me an email if you want to learn more about private coaching here.    To join Team Alcohol-Free for Spring enrollment, click here.       

Episode 319  Hello friend! I'm glad you're here. If you're working on living alcohol-free, yay, you! It is a bada** move.  If you are or have experienced the big, confusing questions like "Who am I now? or What do I even like to do?" after alcohol, you are not alone.  When I stopped drinking at 45 after starting at 14, that first year was a complete identity crisis.  In this episode, I talk about the transition to the "next chapter" alcohol-free. The identity crisis after drinking, and why you are not alone if you feel unsure of who you are and what you enjoy doing after alcohol.  The prompts I share to open up a more expansive conversation with yourself:  "What am I looking forward to learning more about myself in this next chapter?" "What is this relationship that I want to build with myself?" "What do I enjoy doing?" This is your opportunity to rebuild your relationship with yourself, redefine who you are, and create an authentic, fulfilling life. Taking control of your relationship with alcohol takes immense strength. You've got this. I'm with you!  A personal note:  I missed you last week. I may be a bit of an infrequent podcaster as I'm getting my life, business, and podcast topics organized. I will be back on 3/19 and 3/26 with new episodes and give you another update at this time.  I appreciate your listenership and patience.  Sending you a virtual hug!    Mentioned in this episode:  Ep #316 Reframing "Time Wasted" Drinking  Join the Team! Team Alcohol-Free (TAF) is an online community for midlife women who have decided to stop drinking and start living an alcohol-free lifestyle. Enrollment starts soon! Join Team Alcohol-Free 3/26-4/11.  Stay connected to updates and enrollment dates by joining my email community here.         

Episode 318 The Midlife Sobriety Movement is here and I’m here for it! I felt compelled to share this episode because of the incredibly strong women in my community, private coaching sessions, and email network. Over the past seven years, I’ve had the honor of connecting with midlife women from around the world who are choosing to give up alcohol as they embark on this next chapter of their lives. Their motivations are diverse—whether for health reasons, recognizing an unhealthy reliance on alcohol, or because drinking no longer aligns with their values and beliefs. In 2025, many women are embracing an alcohol-free lifestyle, and if you’re making that choice too, know that you are not alone! You are a trailblazer. A badass. A woman that I’m honored to be on this journey with.✌🏻 In this episode, I discuss the embarrassment I felt after I stopped drinking on August 11, 2013, how Instagram reshaped my mindset around sobriety, and the reality that while we cannot rewrite history or change the stigma surrounding sobriety, we can come together in this powerful movement of midlife women living alcohol-free. Together, we will stand strong in our choice to no longer let alcohol take center stage in our lives—instead, we'll step into all the roles alcohol once played and embrace our capabilities and "main character energy!" I’m with you! Mentioned in this episode: To enroll in Team Alcohol-Free during our pop-up enrollment, go here.  Reach out if you would like to work with me privately or have a topic for the podcast by sending an email to [email protected].  Brooke Shields Is Not Allowed to Get Old