333: What if you saw the black mass of death?

Haunted by the chaos of her family and teenage years, a young woman finally finds refuge and belonging in a solid new group of friends, but after a camping trip ends in tragedy, she must find a new pathway to acceptance.  Today’s episode featured Kristen Smith. You can reach out to Kristen at [email protected] or on Instagram @kristendsmith_You can also find out more about her and what she does at kristendawnsmith.com. Producers: Whit Missildine, Andrew Waits, Cathy Sitzes Content/Trigger Warnings: child SA, abuse, teen kidnapping, drowning, death, grief, explicit language Social Media:Instagram: @actuallyhappeningTwitter: @TIAHPodcast Website: thisisactuallyhappening.com Website for Andrew Waits: andrewwaits.comWebsite for Cathy Sitzes: cathysitzes.comSupport the Show: Support The Show on Patreon: patreon.com/happening Wondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to episode #130 are now part of the Wondery Plus premium service. To access the full catalog of episodes, and get all episodes ad free, sign up for Wondery Plus at wondery.com/plus Shop at the Store: The This Is Actually Happening online store is now officially open. Follow this link: thisisactuallyhappening.com/shop to access branded t-shirts, posters, stickers and more from the shop.  Transcripts: Full transcripts of each episode are now available on the website, thisisactuallyhappening.com Intro Music: "Illabye" – TipperMusic Bed: Uncertain Outcomes ServicesIf you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources: National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline: Text or Call 988 National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673) See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Growing up a lonely latchkey kid, a young boy numbs himself with drugs and alcohol, but after one night of binging, a surge of violent rage changes his life forever, spiraling from depths of depravity to the heights of redemption. Today’s episode featured Patrick Hibbard. If you would like to reach out to Patrick, you can email him at [email protected]. To learn more about a network in which he finds support, please visit ficgn.org (Formerly Incarcerated College Graduates Network), and a network he supports because of their amazing work is fromprisoncellstophd.org (From Prison Cells to Phd). Producers: Whit Missildine, Andrew Waits, Sara Marinelli Content/Trigger Warnings: domestic abuse, divorce, drug and alcohol use/abuse, intravenous drug use, murder & death, incarceration, explicit language Social Media:Instagram: @actuallyhappeningTwitter: @TIAHPodcast Website: thisisactuallyhappening.com Website for Andrew Waits: andrdewwaits.comWebsite for Sara Marinelli: saramarinelli.com  Support the Show: Support The Show on Patreon: patreon.com/happening Wondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to episode #130 are now part of the Wondery Plus premium service. To access the full catalog of episodes, and get all episodes ad free, sign up for Wondery Plus at wondery.com/plus Shop at the Store: The This Is Actually Happening online store is now officially open. Follow this link: thisisactuallyhappening.com/shop to access branded t-shirts, posters, stickers and more from the shop.  Transcripts: Full transcripts of each episode are now available on the website, thisisactuallyhappening.com Intro Music: "Illabye" – TipperMusic Bed: Union Flow ServicesIf you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources: National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline: Text or Call 988 National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Join famed attorney Marcia Clark as she unravels the shocking story of Nicola Gobbo, a criminal lawyer who turned informant on her own clients - some of Australia’s most dangerous gangsters. Informants: Lawyer X is true crime story with the kinds of twists and turns you’d only believe if it were absolutely true and it’s available exclusively on Wondery+.Join Wondery+ in the Wondery App, Apple Podcasts, or Spotify, and gain early and ad-free access to this and more thrilling Exhibit C true crime shows right now!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

A self-described geek finds his voice as a sci-fi author and amasses an audience on social media, but after he posts a seemingly innocuous tweet, a hoard of internet stalkers fixate on destroying his life.Today’s episode featured Patrick S. Tomlinson. If you’d like to reach out to him, you can email him at [email protected], or you can find him on Twitter @stealthygeek, on Threads @pstomlinson and on Blue Sky @stealthygeek.bsky.socialVisit www.patrickstomlinson.com to find out more information about Patrick and his books. Producers: Whit Missildine Content/Trigger Warnings: cyber stalking, physical stalking, gun violence, suicide/suicidal ideation, infidelity & divorce, pregnancy, threats of suicide, threats of violence, threats of murder, elder pet (no harm), CPTSD, authoritarianism, lawsuit, explicit language Social Media:Instagram: @actuallyhappeningTwitter: @TIAHPodcast Website: thisisactuallyhappening.com Support the Show: Support The Show on Patreon: patreon.com/happening Wondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to episode #130 are now part of the Wondery Plus premium service. To access the full catalog of episodes, and get all episodes ad free, sign up for Wondery Plus at wondery.com/plus Shop at the Store: The This Is Actually Happening online store is now officially open. Follow this link: thisisactuallyhappening.com/shop to access branded t-shirts, posters, stickers and more from the shop.  Transcripts: Full transcripts of each episode are now available on the website, thisisactuallyhappening.com Intro Music: "Illabye" – TipperMusic Bed: Re-Entry ServicesIf you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources: National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline: Text or Call 988 National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

A woman born into the notorious Mormon cult, Church of the Firstborn, grows up in constant fear of their fatal practice of “blood atonement”, but after suffering under the oppression of her husband and caretaking his multiple wives, she plots a daring international escape.  Today’s episode featured Pamela Jones. If you’d like to reach out to her, you can email her at [email protected], or you can find her on Instagram @pamela_speaks Visit pamelaspeaks.live to find out more about her life as an author, speaker and coach. She also has another project about the hypocrisy, secrecy and scandals of the cult: wickedconfessionsuncensored.com.Producers: Whit Missildine, Andrew Waits, Aviva Lipkowitz Content/Trigger Warnings: cult, religious abuse/trauma, polygamy/plural marriage, child bride/child marriage, abuse, fraud, blood atonement/death, murder (religious & cartel), the afterlife, poverty, birth control, rape/sexual coercion, explicit language Social Media:Instagram: @actuallyhappeningTwitter: @TIAHPodcast Website: thisisactuallyhappening.com Website for Andrew Waits: andrewwaits.comWebsite for Aviva Lipkowitz: avivalipkowitz.com Support the Show: Support The Show on Patreon: patreon.com/happening Wondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to episode #130 are now part of the Wondery Plus premium service. To access the full catalog of episodes, and get all episodes ad free, sign up for Wondery Plus at wondery.com/plus Shop at the Store: The This Is Actually Happening online store is now officially open. Follow this link: thisisactuallyhappening.com/shop to access branded t-shirts, posters, stickers and more from the shop.  Transcripts: Full transcripts of each episode are now available on the website, thisisactuallyhappening.com Intro Music: "Illabye" – TipperMusic Bed: Cylinder Four ServicesIf you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources: National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline: Text or Call 988 National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The human body is a miracle. But when it’s not working, it can be the stuff of nightmares. On this new series from master storyteller MrBallen, we’re sharing medical horror stories and diagnostic mysteries that are surgically calibrated to make your blood run cold.From bizarre, unheard-of diseases and miraculous recoveries to strange medical mishaps and unexplainable deaths — you’ll never hear the phrase “heart-stopping” in the same way again. MrBallen’s Medical Mysteries is a first-of-its-kind collaboration between MrBallen and Wondery, the award-winning company behind Dr. Death. Listen to MrBallen’s Medical Mysteries wherever you get your podcasts: Wondery.fm/MrBallenMedicalMysteriesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

After rising as a teenage drug dealer in Oklahoma, a man joins a larger operation after meeting his soulmate and shadowy chemist, but as his power grows, he becomes a guinea pig in an underworld much darker than he bargained for.  Today’s episode featured Brandon Andres Green. If you’d like to reach out to him, you can email him at [email protected], or you can find him on Facebook or on Instagram at BrandonAndresGreen. Brandon's story came to us by way of Amy Chesler. Amy is a storyteller featured as our guest in Episode 303. You can find her book Working for Justice on Amazon. Amy also has her own podcast, What Came Next, which chronicles in greater depth her experiences with the criminal justice system and the media, as well as other firsthand accounts from survivors and advocates throughout history. You can also find her on Instagram @amybchesler, and on her website amybchesler.com. A special thanks to Amy for referring today's guest.  Producers: Whit Missildine, Andrew Waits, Jason Blalock Content/Trigger Warnings: childhood sexual curiosity/touching, teen drug use, religious guilt, guns, grievous bodily assault and injury, explicit bodily injury, explicit language Social Media:Instagram: @actuallyhappeningTwitter: @TIAHPodcast Website: thisisactuallyhappening.com Website for Andrew Waits: andrewwaits.comWebsite for Jason Blalock: jasonblalock.com Support the Show: Support The Show on Patreon: patreon.com/happening Wondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to episode #130 are now part of the Wondery Plus premium service. To access the full catalog of episodes, and get all episodes ad free, sign up for Wondery Plus at wondery.com/plus Shop at the Store: The This Is Actually Happening online store is now officially open. Follow this link: thisisactuallyhappening.com/shop to access branded t-shirts, posters, stickers and more from the shop.  Transcripts: Full transcripts of each episode are now available on the website, thisisactuallyhappening.com Intro Music: "Illabye" – TipperMusic Bed: Ambient Themes by Nigel Coutinho ServicesIf you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources: National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline: Text or Call 988 National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

After coming out and finding self-acceptance, a man faces his greatest physical and emotional struggle yet when a celebratory skydive takes a terrifying turn. Today’s episode featured Brad Guy. If you’d like to reach out to him, you can email him at [email protected], or you can find him on Instagram and TikTok @bradjguy.Visit bradguy.com to order his memoir “Freefall” and to book him for speaking engagements.Producers: Whit Missildine, Andrew Waits, Aviva Lipkowitz Content/Trigger Warnings: childhood obesity, being in the closet, self-hatred, serious accident, serious bodily injury, falling from a plane, parachute malfunction, death, suicidal ideation, explicit language Social Media:Instagram: @actuallyhappeningTwitter: @TIAHPodcast Website: thisisactuallyhappening.com Website for Andrew Waits: andrewwaits.comWebsite for Aviva Lipkowitz: avivalipkowitz.com  Support the Show: Support The Show on Patreon: patreon.com/happening Wondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to episode #130 are now part of the Wondery Plus premium service. To access the full catalog of episodes, and get all episodes ad free, sign up for Wondery Plus at wondery.com/plus Shop at the Store: The This Is Actually Happening online store is now officially open. Follow this link: thisisactuallyhappening.com/shop to access branded t-shirts, posters, stickers and more from the shop.  Transcripts: Full transcripts of each episode are now available on the website, thisisactuallyhappening.com Intro Music: "Illabye" – TipperMusic Bed: Uncertain Outcomes ServicesIf you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources: National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline: Text or Call 988 National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

After facing years of abuse, a determined woman dedicates her life to the pursuit of success, becoming a renowned broadcaster, fundraiser and cyclist; but after a grueling, multi-continental bike ride, she faces ultimate darkness, forcing her to confront the deepest wounds of all.   Today’s episode featured Charlie Webster. If you’d like to reach out to her, you can visit her website at charliewebster.com/contact or you can find her on Instagram @charliewebster, on Twitter @charliecw or on TikTok @charlieaswebster. She has a new book called “Why It's Ok To Talk About Trauma” which you can find on Amazon or her website charliewebster.com. She also has an ABC TV docuseries premiering on October 9th, which is based on her podcast, Scamanda. The docuseries has the same name.  Producers: Whit Missildine, Andrew Waits, Aviva Lipkowitz Content/Trigger Warnings: domestic abuse, child abuse, sexual abuse, suicide, severe physical illness, blood, coma, near death experience, explicit language Social Media:Instagram: @actuallyhappeningTwitter: @TIAHPodcast Website: thisisactuallyhappening.com Website for Andrew Waits: andrewwaits.comWebsite for Aviva Lipkowitz: avivalipkowitz.com  Support the Show: Support The Show on Patreon: patreon.com/happening Wondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to episode #130 are now part of the Wondery Plus premium service. To access the full catalog of episodes, and get all episodes ad free, sign up for Wondery Plus at wondery.com/plus Shop at the Store: The This Is Actually Happening online store is now officially open. Follow this link: thisisactuallyhappening.com/shop to access branded t-shirts, posters, stickers and more from the shop.  Transcripts: Full transcripts of each episode are now available on the website, thisisactuallyhappening.com Intro Music: "Illabye" – TipperMusic Bed: Union Flow ServicesIf you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources: National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline: Text or Call 988 National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

After healing from a major trauma as a teenager, featured in Episode 111 of this show, our storyteller returns to share a dramatic follow up. In this episode, in the wake of his grandmother’s death, he begins taking a volatile medication cocktail and suffers a severe manic break, living on the streets among society’s most disregarded, confronting his deepest shadows and being forced to piece his life back together once again. Today’s guest requested to remain Anonymous. If you want to reach out to him, please email him at [email protected]. Producers: Whit Missildine, Andrew Waits, Aviva Lipkowitz Content/Trigger Warnings: drug use, death, grooming, sexual exploitation, sexual assault & rape, manic break/manic behavior, explicit language Social Media:Instagram: @actuallyhappeningTwitter: @TIAHPodcast Website: thisisactuallyhappening.com Website for Andrew Waits: andrewwaits.comWebsite for Aviva Lipkowitz: avivalipkowitz.com  Support the Show: Support The Show on Patreon: patreon.com/happening Wondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to episode #130 are now part of the Wondery Plus premium service. To access the full catalog of episodes, and get all episodes ad free, sign up for Wondery Plus at wondery.com/plus Shop at the Store: The This Is Actually Happening online store is now officially open. Follow this link: thisisactuallyhappening.com/shop to access branded t-shirts, posters, stickers and more from the shop.  Transcripts: Full transcripts of each episode are now available on the website, thisisactuallyhappening.com Intro Music: "Illabye" – TipperMusic Bed: Re-Entry ServicesIf you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources: National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline: Text or Call 988 National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.