Ep1. The Authentic Ask w/ Boyd Varty

Experience designer, author and founder of the College of Extraordinary Experiences, Paul Bulencea, set me the seemingly simple challenge of taking 20 minutes out of my day to look at a bouquet of flowers in a journey to understand that nature is the greatest experience designer of them all and that we can create moments of awe for ourselves everyday, if we so choose. We talk about being a transient experience junkie, post ecstatic stress, integration after experience, the elusive quest for transformation and Paul’s journey to doing less and finding more. Sometimes the best experience design is no design at all.  “The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes.” – Marcel Proust Paul’s TEDx: The Global State of Awe: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OEsj3XVHoQY The College of Extraordinary Experiences: www.extraordinary.college

Aida Šehić is a woman of the sea - she has been a professional waterpolo player for Croatia, a sailer, swim instructor and coach. She also works as the sports and recreation manager on the historic Island of Brioni near her hometown of Pula.  To honour the memory of her father, Aida decided to embark on an endurance race between two lighthouses, a distance of 10 nautical miles (that’s 20 kilometres). The whole healing process was captures on film and turned into a moving documentary that I encourage you to watch here: https://youtu.be/clKN6A2Cdbs  She set me a physical change involving the sea and finding stillness. Something everyone can, and should, try. We spoke about perinatal trauma, grief, palliative care, love and the healing power of the sea.  “On land I fell much more stressed, water is like a therapy for me. My safe house is the sea.” - Aida 

Boyd Varty is a tracker, author, conservationist and so much more.  He set me a challenge in two parts this month, all as an exploration into authenticity.  “Building the muscle of allowing. building the muscle of letting the feeling of the moment really take you and being open to that. It really is like building strength in a certain area” - Boyd Varty

WE'RE BACK! And where better to begin the second half of this year than right back where it all began with a conversation with the man who set me my very first challenge on New Year's Day: Omid.  Omid describes vulnerability as 'chosen discomfort' and we go on a deep dive into his own explorations into vulnerability and things I should explore in the second half of this year.  “Do you want to be right and alone, or do you want to be in relationship with people? Sometimes that means not being right.” - OMID SABET 

In the final episode of the season, and the month that takes us halfway through the year, the scariest thing I've done in my life is released to the world... my TEDx Talk.  This June, I speak to Christophe Debard; leader of Toulouse ProtoSpace (a lab dedicated to innovation at Airbus), founder of Humanity Lab (an initiative that gives the opportunity to every Airbus employee to contribute to meaningful innovation to make a difference in areas such as disability, health, education and environment), amputee since the age of 13 and the powerful speaker that went on the TEDx Bucharest stage right before I did ( an insanely tough act to follow!)  We talk about the journey that led to giving the speech, owning your difference, stepping into your fears, the power of volunteering, focusing on the simple things and remembering to re-connect with family. "Giving your time is not losing your time." - Christophe Debard 

Juris’ challenge this May was for me to attend a virtual AA meeting with him. After the meeting we talked about the relationship between father and son, the complexity of addition, life’s winding road and the importance of asking for help. Juris Kupris is a ex-professional Go Kart and Nascar driver, fitness entrepreneur and now building a wellness retreat in Vermont. He has fought against Hodgkins Lymphoma and an addiction battle with opioids. He is an advocate for AA and understanding the deep complexities around addition. “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” - Reinhold Niebuhr If you are interested to learn more about Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous or Al-Anon visit https://www.aa.org/ or find the relevant site for your country. 

For this April challenge we get a little visceral, as I embark on a journey of past life regression led, virtually, by Reiki Master Teacher Capucine. Im sceptical about all things spiritual but wow, what a ride! Afterwards, still dizzy from the experience, Capucine and I talk about the fear of arrogance and unlocking levels of consciousness; choosing our friends more consciously and learning to take a compliment; crying when you’re ready and vulnerability on your own terms. “This would have been called the work of the devil - in some places it still is…some people are not ready to understand the scope of what we could be doing, what we are able to do.” - Capucine You can check out Capucine's work and teaching opportunities on https://www.capucinef.com/ 

It’s March, and we suddenly find ourselves in isolation and I’m starting to give up on this challenge… when Arun reminds me that there is something very vulnerable we can do during lockdown.  Arun Blair-Mangat is a writer, actor and performer currently in the original West End cast of &Juliet. We explore the dualities of being bi-racial and bi-sexual, redefine our understanding of success, remind ourselves that the beauty is in our differences and we share some serious truths with each other. Follow Arun on https://www.instagram.com/arunblair/

The February challenge, set by Jada Sezer, was to go to a beginners tango class together. Through bizarre circumstance this turned into tango dancing with my dad on the eve of Valentine’s Day. Jada, a model and mental health advocate, and I talk about the beauty of being a beginner, relationships during quarantine and unexpected racism on social media. The challenge was for me to relinquish control but it seems Jada has some control issues of her own. “Being insecure is feeling - you’re feeling vulnerable and it’s the heart of being human.” - Jada Sezer Follow Jada on https://www.instagram.com/jadasezer/ and https://www.youtube.com/user/jadasezer

The very first, January challenge is about connecting with strangers and learning how to openly give and receive compliments. It’s also about speaking to yourself in a kinder way as I learn from clinical psychologist and yoga teacher Lauren Taus. We talk about owning your mistakes, grief and, of course, ketamine. “When we are vulnerable we hug deeper - we penetrate the soul” - Lauren Taus Follow Lauren on instagram.com/lauren.taus and check out her podcast INbodied Life with Lauren Taus