820 From Anxious to Secure Attachment with Trevor Hanson

Struggling with anxiety or overthinking? Learn the science of EFT Tapping for instant stress relief and nervous system regulation. In this episode, I'm joined by New York Times bestselling author Jessica Ortner to dive into her brand-new book, Rewired. Jessica reveals the science behind EFT Tapping and how it can literally lower your cortisol by 43% in minutes. We explore why your brain gets "stuck" in loops of overthinking and how to send a signal of safety to your nervous system so you can finally feel at ease. Whether you're struggling with self-sabotage, boundary-setting, or parenting anxiety, Jessica's approach is a total game-changer. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/826

If you had a mean or rejecting mother, you probably learned early not to talk about it. People don't want to believe it. They say things like "you only have one mother" or "she did her best," and suddenly you're defending your own experience to someone who can't imagine having it. That isolation is often the first wound.  This episode continues the mother wound conversation from last week. While every story is different, there are patterns I've seen consistently across almost 30 years of clinical work with daughters of mean and rejecting mothers. Here's what the research and the therapy room both show. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/825

Is it possible to heal when the person who raised you continues to cause chaos? In this episode, Terri sits down with journalist and editor Ashley Oerman to dismantle the stigma surrounding toxic family dynamics. Following the viral conversation sparked by recent national debates on family estrangement, they dive into the heart of a question many struggle with: Do you have to go "No Contact," or is "Low Contact" a viable path to peace? From her "origin story" in therapy to the realization that her social anxiety was a symptom of a deeper family wound, Ashley offers a roadmap for anyone grieving the relationship they never had. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/824

Have you ever wondered if your relationship with your mother was normal? Or noticed patterns in your adult relationships and traced them back to something that happened long before you had words for it? Mother-daughter relationships can be among the most complicated we ever have. Whether the dynamic between you was loving, painful, confusing, or somewhere in between, it impacted you. After almost 30 years as a clinician, I've seen seven recurring archetypes, and that's what this episode covers: what each one looks like, and the lasting impact it can have on your adult life. One thing before we start. Mother here means whoever raised you. It could be a grandmother, an older sibling, or an aunt. What matters is the dynamic, not the biology. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/823 Find my mother wound course at terricole.com/motherwound

Is the "Male Loneliness Epidemic" actually a human connection crisis? I'm sitting down with clinical psychologist Dr. Morgan Anderson to break down why avoidant attachment is skyrocketing and how we can rebel against a system that keeps us isolated. In this episode, Dr. Morgan shares her personal journey from "relational trauma" to becoming a secure attachment expert. We dive deep into the rising trend of AI partners, why "over-functioning" is killing your joy, and the radical power of becoming a "Love Scientist." Whether you're navigating the apps or trying to heal a long-term partnership, this conversation is your roadmap to secure, high-IQ love. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/822

Vic and I were watching a Richard Feynman lecture on YouTube recently, one of those deep dives into time, space, and quantum physics that makes your brain hurt in the best way. What struck me wasn't the physics. It was something underneath it, about how much we love certainty, how hard our minds work to manufacture it even where it doesn't exist, and how that love of certainty quietly limits what we allow ourselves to imagine as possible. That's what today's episode is about. Most of us spend a lot of energy trying to get one life right. The perfect career, the right relationship, the path that doesn't disappoint anyone. And underneath all that effort is anxiety, because if there's only one right choice, the margin for error feels very small. The Odyssey Plan, which comes out of the Designing Your Life program at Stanford University, starts from an entirely different premise. There isn't just one life that's right for you. There are multiple versions that could make you happy, fulfilled, and aligned. The exercise doesn't ask you to blow up your life or make any decisions at all. It asks you to expand what you allow yourself to see as possible. That's it. Just that. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/821

Whether you struggle with the fear of abandonment or you tend to shut down when things get close, this conversation is for you.   In this episode, I'm joined by psychotherapist Trevor Hansen to discuss why so many of us get stuck in the attachment style "research phase" and how to actually rewire your brain for secure attachment. We dive deep into the "origin stories" that drive our adult behaviors, the hidden link between anxious and avoidant styles, and a powerful "voice note" tool you can start using today to meet your own unmet needs. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/820

Do you say yes before checking your calendar? Jump in to fix problems that aren't yours to solve? Adjust your plans without a second thought to keep the peace? If any of this sounds familiar, you might be an auto-accommodator. And trust me, it's costing you more than you realize. About two years ago, I shared a story about auto-accommodating that struck a nerve with so many of you. The response was immediate and overwhelming – it went viral because people finally had a name for this reflexive pattern they'd been living with for years. In this week's episode of The Terri Cole Show, I'm diving deeper into auto-accommodating – what it is, why we do it, and most importantly, how to stop. This isn't about breaking a bad habit. We're talking about shifting a deeply ingrained behavioral pattern that silently influences your relationships, stress levels, resentment, and sense of self. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/819

How does a 3-time Emmy winner create the most psychologically complex characters in TV history? Join me and the legendary Tom Fontana, showrunner of many series including "Oz" and "Homicide: Life on the Street" as we deconstruct the creative process, storytelling, and the human psyche. In this episode, we dive deep into the "Origin Story" of a master storyteller. Tom shares his unique 3-part framework for building three-dimensional characters and explains why everyone has a story they are dying to tell—if only someone would ask. If you've ever felt "stuck" in your creative journey or want to understand the moral complexity behind groundbreaking dramas like Netflix's Borgia or Saint Elsewhere, this conversation is for you. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/818

Someone from our community recently sent me an email. She didn't understand why she had low self-worth, and she wanted to know if it was something she could change as an adult. The answer is a resounding YES.  We're going to cover how low self-worth develops, what it looks like when it's running in the background of your life, and what you can do to build something more solid, because building more self-worth requires practice. Let's start with the premise that we are all born worthy. Simply by virtue of being alive. The work is figuring out what got in the way of that, and how to come back to it. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/817