The Shadow of the People Pleaser: A Tarot Exploration

This week on⁠ The Tarot Diagnosis⁠, we’re exploring one of the most commonly misunderstood behaviors that exist in many of us: people-pleasing. Inspired by real conversations in the therapy room and the archetypal patterns of tarot, I explore people-pleasing through a trauma-informed, psychological, and tarot-based lens.While people-pleasing is often viewed as a virtue and praised as kindness or empathy, the truth is way more complex. From a clinical perspective, people-pleasing is often rooted in early childhood conditioning, or what therapists might consider as part of the “fawn response,” as well as the development of what psychoanalyst Donald Winnicott refers to as the false self. I shed light on how people-pleasing is actually a survival skill - a way of staying safe by tending to others' needs, moods, and perceptions, often at our own expense.In this episode, I explore how tarot archetypes reflect the nuance and shadow of this survival style. Drawing from both psychological theory and tarot symbolism, I unpack this behavior pattern as a form of emotional manipulation born from a deep need for control, approval, and connection, which might be difficult for many of us to hear.I also guide you through a therapeutic, three-card spread designed to help you explore your own patterns of people-pleasing along with what’s underneath it, what it protects, and what it might feel like to step outside of it.For the collective, I pull…Card One: What emotion am I attempting to prevent or manage by people-pleasing? → The TowerCard Two: What would it mean to allow another person to feel disappointed, angry, or uncomfortable without taking responsibility for it? → Two of CupsCard Three: How can I tell the difference between being kind and giving so much that I lose myself? → Nine of CupsDeck Used: Tarot Vintage🌙 Stay Connected With Me💌 Follow me on Instagram:⁠ @thetarotdiagnosis⁠🧠 Sign up for my newsletter at⁠ thetarotdiagnosis.com⁠👥 Join ⁠The Symposium⁠ — my tarot & psychology membership community📚 Pre-order my book Dark Shadow, Golden Shadow for more therapeutic tarot practices! If you love The Tarot Diagnosis Podcast, please consider leaving a review! ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ This is a super easy and FREE way to support my work. Plus, it helps more people discover the podcast. I appreciate you all so much!Audio Edited by Anthony DiGiacomo of⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Deep Resonance Sound⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Contact: [email protected] by Timmoor from Pixabay

This week on⁠ The Tarot Diagnosis⁠, we’re getting delightfully nerdy. Inspired by a conversation with a dear friend, I explore tarot through the lens of developmental psychology, focusing specifically on Donald Winnicott’s concept of transitional objects, transitional space, and transitional phenomena.Traditionally, transitional objects are things like blankets, stuffed animals, or toys that help children move from total dependence to early independence by offering emotional regulation and symbolic comfort. But what happens when we grow up? We don’t stop needing comfort. It turns out our transitional objects just evolve…Enter tarot.In this episode, we explore how tarot functions as an transitional object, or what psychologist Mark Brenner refers to as a “sacred keepsake” that helps us self-soothe, regulate, and bridge our inner world with our external world. Drawing from both developmental theory and therapeutic principles, I unpack the psychological richness of the cards as mirrors, containers, and transitional phenomena.I also guide you through an experiential three-card “Container Spread” designed to help you hold and process what feels too heavy using the archetypes as emotional containers. For the collective, I pull… Card One – What feels too heavy right now? → Eight of Swords Card Two – What archetype can hold that heaviness? → Queen of Swords Card Three – What can I do while this is being held? → Nine of WandsDeck Used: Pagan Otherworlds🌙 Stay Connected With Me💌 Follow me on Instagram:⁠ @thetarotdiagnosis⁠🧠 Sign up for my newsletter at⁠ thetarotdiagnosis.com⁠👥 Join ⁠The Symposium⁠ — my tarot & psychology membership community 📚 Pre-order my book Dark Shadow, Golden Shadow for more therapeutic tarot practices! If you love The Tarot Diagnosis Podcast, please consider leaving a review! ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ This is a super easy and FREE way to support my work. Plus, it helps more people discover the podcast. I appreciate you all so much!Audio Edited by Anthony DiGiacomo of⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Deep Resonance Sound⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Contact: [email protected] by Timmoor from Pixabay

After a rejuvenating break in nature, I'm back…and tarot wasted no time in offering a message that couldn’t be ignored. In this reflective episode of The Tarot Diagnosis, I share how three cards - The Devil, The Three of Swords, and The Lovers - kept showing up across multiple decks, pointing to a powerful arc about relational stuck-ness, emotional pain, and the freedom of conscious choice.We explore how The Devil archetype can represent cognitive distortions like all-or-nothing thinking and overgeneralization, which are those internal thought loops that keep us locked into outdated stories about ourselves or our partners. Then the Three of Swords becomes the bridge of clarity and discomfort when we realize just how much our thoughts have shaped our emotional experience. And The Lovers is where the healing begins: through reality-testing, reframing, and choosing a more balanced story.I also guide you through a practical, step-by-step therapeutic tarot exercise, using a real-life example I see in couples therapy all the time to show how tarot can help support emotional insight and mental flexibility. We walk through how each card pulled (the reversed Four of Pentacles, Three of Cups, and Four of Wands) helps us better understand our cognitive experience within our relationships.Decks used: Pamela Coleman-Smith Playing Card Deck, Mindscapes Tarot, Eternal Tarot🌙 Stay Connected With Me💌 Follow me on Instagram:⁠ @thetarotdiagnosis⁠🧠 Sign up for my newsletter at⁠ thetarotdiagnosis.com⁠👥 Join ⁠The Symposium⁠ — my tarot & psychology membership communityIf you love The Tarot Diagnosis Podcast, please consider leaving a review! ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ This is a super easy and FREE way to support my work. Plus, it helps more people discover the podcast. I appreciate you all so much!Audio Edited by Anthony DiGiacomo of⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Deep Resonance Sound⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Contact: [email protected] by Timmoor from Pixabay

This week on The Tarot Diagnosis Podcast, I pulled two seemingly contradictory cards (the Knight of Wands and the Seven of Pentacles) and found myself reflecting on the very human tension between urgency and patience. At first glance, these archetypes appear at odds: one races forward, fiery and eager; the other waits, steadies, and tends. But beneath the surface, they share a common root: passion.In this episode, I explore how both cards express passion differently - one through movement, the other through stillness. I unpack how this polarity often shows up in relationships (think of the couple where one is impulsive and driven, while the other is methodical and calm) and how both partners are often acting from the same place: care, longing, and a desire for connection. The challenge is in learning how to integrate their styles rather than battle over whose rhythm is “right.”We then zoom out into the lens of neurobiology by pairing the Knight of Wands with dopamine and the Seven of Pentacles with serotonin. Drawing on recent research from Stanford and Columbia, I discuss how these neurotransmitters operate in opposition yet depend on each other: dopamine initiates action and drives momentum, while serotonin regulates patience and long-term reward. Just like tarot, our brains need both. Without dopamine, we never start. Without serotonin, we can’t sustain.By working with the Knight and the Seven together, we can begin to honor the full spectrum of passion: the spark that ignites, and the soil that nourishes.Deck used: Tarot VintageStudies cited:https://www.columbiapsychiatry.org/news/lack-serotonin-receptor-plays-role-aggressive-and-impulsive-behaviorshttps://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/39586475/Pre-order my forthcoming book Dark Shadow, Golden Shadow here and get an exclusive sneak peek!🎧 Listen now on your favorite podcast platform or YouTube! 🌙 Stay Connected With Me💌 Follow me on Instagram:⁠ @thetarotdiagnosis⁠🧠 Sign up for my newsletter at⁠ thetarotdiagnosis.com⁠👥 Join ⁠The Symposium⁠ (my tarot & psychology membership community)If you love The Tarot Diagnosis Podcast, please consider leaving a review! ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ This is a super easy and FREE way to support my work. Plus, it helps more people discover the podcast. I appreciate you all so much!Audio Edited by Anthony DiGiacomo of⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Deep Resonance Sound⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Contact: [email protected] by Timmoor from Pixabay

When you think of the Wheel of Fortune, you might focus on the wheel itself - the chaos, the symbols, the turning of fate. But what about the soft, billowy clouds that frame the card?In this week’s episode of The Tarot Diagnosis, I take a journey into the symbolism of clouds in tarot, exploring how they quietly anchor some of the most profound archetypes in the deck. Far from being just background art, clouds emerge as powerful metaphors for transition, liminality, and the unknown.Together, we’ll explore:Why clouds in tarot represent thresholds between the known and the unknownHow their mutability contrasts with the fixed zodiac signs in the Wheel of FortuneWhat clouds reveal in cards like the Aces, Four of Cups, and Seven of CupsHow darker, jagged clouds in the Swords suit mirror mental turbulence and griefThe surprising role clouds play in The Lovers, Judgment, The World, and The TowerFrom “your head is in the clouds” to having “clouded judgment,” our language reflects how deeply clouds connect to the psyche. In tarot, they remind us that nothing is static, that change is always underway, even when we resist it. Clouds offer us valuable lessons. Perhaps the most important being to step into the role of mindful observer and to witness shifts without being consumed by them.If you’ve ever overlooked the clouds in your deck, this episode will help you see them in a whole new way - as mirrors of the human experience, as symbols of impermanence, and as invitations to trust the unfolding process of change.🔮 Listen now and discover how clouds can shift your perspective on tarot, psychology, and the weather of your own inner world.Deck Used: Tarot Vintage🎧 Listen on your favorite podcast platform or YouTube!🌙 Stay Connected With Me💌 Follow me on Instagram:⁠ @thetarotdiagnosis⁠🧠 Sign up for my newsletter at⁠ thetarotdiagnosis.com⁠👥 Join ⁠The Symposium⁠ (my tarot & psychology membership community)⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ A great way to support my work is by leaving a review! This is a super easy and FREE way to support The Tarot Diagnosis. Plus, it helps more people discover the podcast. Audio Edited by Anthony DiGiacomo of⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Deep Resonance Sound⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Contact: [email protected] by Timmoor from Pixabay

This week on The Tarot Diagnosis Podcast, I’m unpacking why “just think positive” advice often backfires and offering a more sustainable approach rooted in both Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) and tarot. Together, we’ll explore why lasting change doesn’t start with your thoughts, and why it actually starts with your actions.I’ll walk you through how trauma wires the brain to anticipate harm, how DBT helps us hold two truths at once, and why micro-moments of safety and agency are the real building blocks of healing. You’ll learn how tarot can be more than just a tool for insight and how it can be a guide for new experiences.Along the way, we’ll explore:The problem with the phrase “Change your thoughts, change your life”Why action leads and thoughts follow when it comes to rewiring your nervous systemHow cards like The Fool, Eight of Pentacles, and Page of Cups can guide you into new behaviorsA 3-card “Micro Wins & New Paths” spread to help you notice small glimmers and create change 🌙 Stay Connected With Me💌 Follow me on Instagram:⁠ @thetarotdiagnosis⁠🧠 Sign up for my newsletter at⁠ thetarotdiagnosis.com⁠👥 Join ⁠The Symposium⁠ (my tarot & psychology membership community)If you love The Tarot Diagnosis Podcast, please consider leaving a review! ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ This is a super easy and FREE way to support my work. Plus, it helps more people discover the podcast. I appreciate you all so much!Audio Edited by Anthony DiGiacomo of⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Deep Resonance Sound⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Contact: [email protected] by Timmoor from Pixabay

[TW: Discussion of death, grief, suicide.] This week on The Tarot Diagnosis, I sit down with the Five of Cups and a whole host of other cards, but not in the way we usually expect. Instead of offering a clinical take or a tidy metaphor, this episode is more of a free-flowing love letter to the messiness of grief: the kind that arrives with dreams, dead batteries, wildflower fields, and the unshakable ache of remembering (those will all make sense once you listen, I promise).Inspired by a recent pull of the Five of Cups (which you may have seen on Instagram), I reflect on decades of lived experience with loss - starting with my Uncle Barry and a stopped clock, winding through stories of my TT, childhood concoctions, and the ghosts of the selves we never got to be. This isn’t just an exploration of death-related grief, but of all the quiet, complicated, and cumulative forms grief can take: missed opportunities, dissolved friendships, the unspoken distance between people, the lives we didn’t live, but could have.You’ll hear me pull and process cards live that include the Ten of Swords, Six of Cups, Ten of Wands, Queen of Cups, and Ace of Cups - each offering insight into how we might tend to, hold, and honor our grief. I talk about the importance of remaining in relationship with what we’ve lost, the burden of carrying grief alone, and the healing power of shared memories, rituals, and emotional openness.This episode is for anyone who has ever carried the weight of grief, a memory that won’t fade, or a part of themselves that got left behind. Whether you’re mourning a person, an identity, or a path not taken, may this conversation offer you a moment of softness and proof that your pain and experience is real and valid.Deck used: Tarot VintageReferenced: "Grief is a form of learning" - Mary Frances O'Connor Watch her TedX here.Recommended Reading:The Grieving Brain by Mary Frances O'ConnorGrief is Love by Maris Renee Lee🌙 Stay Connected With Me💌 Follow me on Instagram: @thetarotdiagnosis 🧠 Sign up for my newsletter at thetarotdiagnosis.com 👥 Join The Symposium — my tarot & psychology membership communityIf you love The Tarot Diagnosis Podcast, please consider leaving a review! ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ This is a super easy and FREE way to support my work. Plus, it helps more people discover the podcast. I appreciate you all so much!Audio Edited by Anthony DiGiacomo of⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Deep Resonance Sound⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Contact: [email protected] by Timmoor from Pixabay

This week on The Tarot Diagnosis, I had every intention of doing a neat little compare-and-contrast between the Five and Seven of Swords. But in true Swords fashion, what began as a tidy intellectual exploration turned into something much more raw, spiraling, and unexpectedly revealing.In this episode, I invite you into a descent through the second half of the Suit of Swords: from the Five through the Ten. What emerges is a psychological narrative about the cost of self-protection, the seduction of avoidance, and the long-term consequences of abandoning ourself.We begin at the Five of Swords with its hollow victories and relational fallout, and journey through the Six’s dissociative escape fantasies, the self-deception and silent bleeding of the Seven, the imprisonment of the Eight, and the mental reckoning of the Nine. Finally, we arrive at the Ten of Swords, which proves it’s not only a card of collapse, but one of catharsis and clarity.There’s a throughline here about the ways we try to outrun pain and how we carry our wounds into new landscapes, call avoidance healing, and sometimes end up wounding ourselves in an attempt to feel safe. But there’s also a glimmer of hope because in the darkest point of our sword's spiral, we can meet our truth, and maybe, forge a new path.So grab your deck, pull out the Five through Ten of Swords, and join me for this reflective and emotionally potent archetypal journey.Deck referenced: Dreamkeeper’s TarotWant to find out all of the ways you can connect with me live this month? Join us inside⁠ The Symposium⁠! If you love The Tarot Diagnosis Podcast, please consider leaving a review! ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ This helps more people discover the show and is a great way to support my work <3Don't forget to subscribe to our email list to get all kinds of free mental health and tarot goodies on our website, as well as access to our private membership community ⁠The Symposium⁠!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.TheTarotDiagnosis.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Follow The Tarot Diagnosis on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@TheTarotDiagnosis⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Audio Edited by Anthony DiGiacomo of⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠Deep Resonance Sound⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Contact: [email protected] by Timmoor from Pixabay

This week on The Tarot Diagnosis Podcast, I’m unpacking the emotional aftermath of the Summer Solstice Summit and diving deep into one of the most powerful psychological and tarot-based concepts I explored there - the Golden Shadow, which I expand on as a type of abandoned archetype.I begin by reflecting on the special magick that unfolded during the Summer Solstice Summit and how a weekend meant for learning and connection blossomed into something collectively sacred and transformative. From heartfelt comments in the chat box, to “aha!” moments during presentations, it became clear that this space wasn’t just about tarot, it was about holding space for each other and ourselves.***Skip to 9:57 to avoid hearing me gush about the Summer Solstice Summit.***That leads into the theme of this episode: the golden shadow as the abandoned archetype. Using both therapeutic insight and Jungian psychology, I examine how the golden shadow holds our disowned potential… all of that creativity, boldness, and joy that have been buried under years of social conditioning and shame. I draw from Robert Bly’s “bag of shadows” as a metaphor and infuse some developmental psychology, as I reflect on how our shadow forms across the lifespan.Plus, you get to hear me talk about how the Tower is one hell of an epic, abandoned archetypal golden shadow. Tune in to hear my thoughts on how this often feared card is actually beautiful and admirable.In this episode, I also walk you through a tarot spread to help you meet your own golden shadow and discover your abandoned archetype. Through three card pulls, we explore how to identify repressed potential, recognize what’s blocking it, and find ways to integrate it back into our life. I end up pulling the Magician, Six of Wands, and the World.Whether you attended the summit or are just tuning in, I hope this conversation invites you to look at your shadow not only as a place of wounds, but as a container of all of your endless potential and authenticity!Deck used: Pamela Coleman Smith’s Playing Card DeckTarot Spread from the Episode:The unacknowledged potential of an abandoned archetypeAn obstacle preventing me from embracing this potentialA way I can reclaim and integrate this hidden potential into my life 🎧 Listen now on your favorite podcast platform or YouTube! Want to find out all of the ways you can connect with me live this month? Join us inside⁠ The Symposium⁠! If you love The Tarot Diagnosis Podcast, please consider leaving a review! ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ This helps more people discover the show and is a great way to support my work <3Don't forget to subscribe to our email list to get all kinds of free mental health and tarot goodies on our website, as well as access to our private membership community ⁠The Symposium⁠!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.TheTarotDiagnosis.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Follow The Tarot Diagnosis on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@TheTarotDiagnosis⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Audio Edited by Anthony DiGiacomo of⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠Deep Resonance Sound⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Contact: [email protected] by Timmoor from Pixabay

This week on The Tarot Diagnosis Podcast, I’m diving into the nuanced and often-confused archetypes of Judgment and Justice (especially for newer readers). Plus, these are two major arcana cards that are especially relevant given the state of the world. Fun fact: this episode was inspired by a listener request, and I went full nerd-mode by pulling out lots of books I thought had unique perspectives on these archetypes in order to dig into these cards from psychological, therapeutic, and archetypal lenses.After a brief life update about my recent trip back to Florida, I shift gears into the cards. Using frameworks like Internal Family Systems (IFS), Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), and Jungian psychology, I explore how Justice and Judgement invite us into a deeper state of reckoning with both awareness and action.I discuss how Judgment functions as an inner awakening, a self-led moment of reflection, integration, and individuation. It’s less about condemnation and more about liberation, calling us to rise above our limitations. On the other hand, Justice shows up as the embodiment of accountability, action, and agency, while encouraging us to take what we’ve learned and apply it with wise decision-making.I also pull a couple of cards live to help me explore how these archetypes are similar and different. And what shows up? The Emperor and Queen of Pentacles. The result is a thoughtful (and real-time) interpretation that I hope inspires you to engage your own deck as a thinking tool.Further Reading:Tarot for Change by Jessica DoreTarot for Life by Paul Quinn78 Acts of Liberation by Lane SmithRadical Tarot by Charlie Claire BurgessTarot as a Way of Life by Karen Hamaker-ZondagTarot for the Hard Work by Maria MinnisHolistic Tarot by Benebel Wen 🎧 Listen now on your favorite podcast platform or YouTube! Want to find out all of the ways you can connect with me live this month? Join us inside⁠ The Symposium⁠! If you love The Tarot Diagnosis Podcast, please consider leaving a review! ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ This helps more people discover the show and is a great way to support my work <3Don't forget to subscribe to the email list to get all kinds of free mental health and tarot goodies on our website, as well as access to our private membership community ⁠The Symposium⁠!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.TheTarotDiagnosis.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Follow The Tarot Diagnosis on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@TheTarotDiagnosis⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Audio Edited by Anthony DiGiacomo of⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠Deep Resonance Sound⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Contact: [email protected] by Timmoor from Pixabay