195. You Survived Divorce… But Is This Where Your Story Stops? | 4 Questions to Reflect On

Divorce isn’t just about filing papers or finalizing court dates. It’s about what happens after.The season where you’re no longer married but you’re not fully moving forward either.You’re functioning.You’re responsible.You’re handling life.But are you progressing… or just surviving?In this episode, I talk about the “between season” many women enter after divorce .... why survival mode is necessary, how relief can quietly turn into settling, and four honest questions to help you reflect on where you are.Because you survived divorce.But survival was never meant to be the final destination.**SCHEDULE YOUR 90-MINUTE INTENSIVE BELOW** ⬇️https://www.tonyacarter.com/strategyOrder my book: "Divorce Your Story: A Woman's Guide to Heal & Thrive After Divorce" - http://www.divorceyourstorybook.com. Also available on Amazon: https://amzn.to/2QPWoCnFollow me on IG - ⁠@iamtonyacarter⁠Follow me on Facebook - ⁠Tonya Carter⁠Subscribe to my YouTube - ⁠Tonya Carter⁠

When divorce happens, the focus often centers on women, their stories, their pain, and their healing. And while that’s important and necessary, we also have to acknowledge this truth: Men go through it too.They hurt.They question their worth.They wrestle with identity, guilt, and the quiet pressure to keep showing up even when their world feels uncertain.In this episode, I sit down with Jerry Vaval, father of four, career professional, and co-host of The Giant Fundamentals Podcast, for a real and vulnerable conversation about life after divorce from a man’s perspective.✨ In this episode, we discuss:How men process pain and identity after divorceHow childhood conditioning influences adult relationshipsWhat true accountability and growth look like for menThe evolving meaning of masculinity, love, and leadershipThis conversation is a reminder that healing doesn’t belong to one side of the story. It’s about moving past what we think we know and beginning to truly understand what men experience, feel, and carry after divorce.Follow Jerry Vaval  on Instagram: @consult_jvFollow Jerry Vaval on Facebook:  Jerry VavalTo listen to the "The Giant Fundamentals Podcast" on Spotify: https://tinyurl.com/yxays9ks or Apple:  https://tinyurl.com/bdhdxepf **SCHEDULE YOUR 90-MINUTE INTENSIVE BELOW** ⬇️https://www.tonyacarter.com/strategyOrder my book: "Divorce Your Story: A Woman's Guide to Heal & Thrive After Divorce" - http://www.divorceyourstorybook.com. Also available on Amazon: https://amzn.to/2QPWoCnFollow me on IG - ⁠@iamtonyacarter⁠Follow me on Facebook - ⁠Tonya Carter⁠Subscribe to my YouTube - ⁠Tonya Carter⁠

We talk a lot about the emotional toll of toxic relationships. How they can drain your energy, chip away at your confidence, and leave you questioning everything. But what we don’t always talk about is how that emotional weight can show up in your body. Starting at your scalp.For many women, hair is more than hair. It’s identity. It’s how we present ourselves. It’s how we feel seen. So when it starts breaking, shedding, or thinning without explanation, it’s not just frustrating. It’s deeply personal.In this episode, I’m joined by Certified Trichologist and Holistic Health Practitioner Delfanita Warren for a powerful conversation on the connection between emotional stress, toxic relationships, and hair loss. She shares how unresolved pain, betrayal, and long-term emotional strain can trigger physical symptoms, especially at the root.We talk about:• What’s really happening in your body when emotional stress is ongoing• Why your hair might be telling the story before your words do• How unhealthy relationships can affect your overall well-being far beyond emotions• What to pay attention to if your hair is changing and your life feels heavy• How true restoration starts from the inside out, not just with products but with peace.This isn’t just about shedding hair. It’s about shedding what’s been silently hurting you. If this episode speaks to you or brings something up, know you’re not alone.Your body keeps the score.But it can also tell the truth that helps you begin again.

Motherhood after divorce can feel like a maze of guilt, responsibility, and uncertainty. But what if there’s still space for joy, softness, and emotional connection even in the messiness?In this episode, Destini Ann invites us into a real and heartfelt conversation about what it means to parent on purpose especially when you're rebuilding after loss, navigating co-parenting dynamics, or questioning whether you’re getting it right.This isn’t about getting it perfect. It’s about being present. It’s about learning to see beneath the surface of your child’s behavior and your own. It’s about choosing to lead with love, rebuild trust, and create a new rhythm in motherhood that honors you too.Whether you're the parent who stayed, the one who’s holding it all together, or the one who feels disconnected, this conversation offers the hope, healing, and tools you didn’t know you needed.Inside this episode:What intentional parenting really looks like after divorceHow to raise emotionally healthy, aware kids without shame or fearThe difference between correcting behavior vs. understanding itWhy repair is always possible—and how to begin it with loveRebuilding trust with your child (and yourself)Finding joy in motherhood when it feels far awayWhy your own emotional well-being matters just as much as theirsCreating a support system and asking for help without guiltThis conversation is a reminder: You’re still allowed to enjoy motherhood. You’re still capable of doing this well. And your love, when offered with intention, has the power to heal.Learn more about Destini Ann:Follow Destini Ann  on Instagram: @destini.annVisit Destini's Website and Purchase her book "Very Intentional Parenting": https://www/destiniann.com** DOWNLOAD MY FREE AUDIO GUIDE ⬇️Turning The Page: 7 Healthy Ways To Recover After Divorce/Breakuphttps://www.tonyacarter.com/turningthepage**SCHEDULE YOUR 90-MINUTE INTENSIVE BELOW** ⬇️https://www.tonyacarter.com/strategyOrder my book: "Divorce Your Story: A Woman's Guide to Heal & Thrive After Divorce" - http://www.divorceyourstorybook.com. Also available on Amazon: https://amzn.to/2QPWoCnFollow me on IG - ⁠@iamtonyacarter⁠Follow me on Facebook - ⁠Tonya Carter⁠Subscribe to my YouTube - ⁠Tonya Carter⁠

There’s a script the world tries to hand women at 40, especially those who are divorced.It says your best years are behind you, that you're less desirable, that you're too old to start over, that if your marriage ended, you must have failed. It tries to convince you that dreaming, dating, and even redefining your life isn’t for you anymore.But what if that script is a lie?In this powerful and deeply honest conversation, I’m joined by Patrice Washington; transformational speaker, author, and founder of The Institute for Redefining Wealth; who walked away from a 20-year marriage at 40 not because she stopped believing in love, but because she started believing in herself more.We talk about the courage to lose well, the boldness it takes to find your voice after years of shrinking, and what it truly means to rebuild life on your terms; emotionally, financially, and spiritually.If you’ve ever wondered, “Is it too late for me?” this episode will remind you: not only is it not too late… the best might just be ahead.Follow Patrice on Instagram: @seekwisdompcwFollow Patrice on Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/SeekWisdomPCW/Patrice Washington's Website: https://patricewashington.com/Interested in attending Patrice's "Redefining Wealth Live" Event September 12th-14th? Click here to register ** DOWNLOAD MY FREE AUDIO GUIDE ⬇️Turning The Page: 7 Healthy Ways To Recover After Divorce/Breakuphttps://www.tonyacarter.com/turningthepage**SCHEDULE YOUR 90-MINUTE INTENSIVE BELOW** ⬇️https://www.tonyacarter.com/strategyOrder my book: "Divorce Your Story: A Woman's Guide to Heal & Thrive After Divorce" - http://www.divorceyourstorybook.com. Also available on Amazon: https://amzn.to/2QPWoCnFollow me on IG - ⁠@iamtonyacarter⁠Follow me on Facebook - ⁠Tonya Carter⁠Subscribe to my YouTube - ⁠Tonya Carter⁠

For so many women of faith, the desire to honor God in love and marriage runs deep—especially when the faith you hold so dear starts to feel at odds with the reality you’re living.When unhealthy theology is taught in the name of God, it becomes hard to separate what’s true from what’s been twisted.You start to question:Is suffering a part of being faithful?Is silence really strength?Is staying—no matter the cost—what God actually wants?Does submission mean self-abandonment?Am I supposed to endure everything?The truth is, many of us weren’t taught faith—we were taught fear, perfectionism, and performance... and told it was God.In this powerful episode, I sit down with licensed therapist and creator of Trauma Languages™, Vernique Esther, to talk about how faith and trauma can quietly collide—and how so many high-achieving women of faith have been left silently hurting under the weight of spiritual distortion.We dive into:What it really means to be hyper-religiousHow trauma hides behind performance and spiritual languageHow distorted theology has shaped the way women love, suffer, and stayThe seven ways trauma shows up in relationshipsAnd how to begin setting the atmosphere for the kind of relationship you truly desireFollow Vernique on Instagram: @verniqueestherVernique Website: https://www.verniqueesther.com/🎧 DOWNLOAD MY FREE AUDIO GUIDE ⬇️Turning The Page: 7 Healthy Ways To Recover After Divorce/Breakup👉 https://www.tonyacarter.com/turningthepage💻 SCHEDULE YOUR 90-MINUTE STRATEGY INTENSIVE ⬇️👉 https://www.tonyacarter.com/strategy📚 Order my book: Divorce Your Story: A Woman's Guide to Heal & Thrive After Divorce➡️ http://www.divorceyourstorybook.com📦 Also available on Amazon: https://amzn.to/2QPWoCnFollow me:📱 Instagram: @iamtonyacarter📘 Facebook: Tonya Carter▶️ YouTube: Tonya Carter**SUBSCRIBE & REVIEW**If this episode spoke to you, take a moment to subscribe and leave a review on Apple or Spotify. Your support helps us reach more women navigating divorce, faith, and healing—so they can find breakthrough, too. 💜

When most people think of divorce, they think of courtrooms, documents, and signatures. But let me be clear: divorce is more than just paperwork. The decisions made around custody, support agreements, and co-parenting aren’t just legal steps — they have lasting emotional, financial, and relational consequences.In this episode, I’m joined by Family Law Attorney Maiya Safikovs — a powerhouse legal mind known for her strategic insight and deeply compassionate approach. Maiya helps individuals navigate the divorce process with clarity, strength, and care. Together, we break down the legal realities of divorce, from parenting plans and custody structures to common myths about child and spousal support. We also discuss how to choose the right attorney — and why the decisions you make now will have a lasting impact on your future.Whether you're early in the process, navigating co-parenting challenges, or revisiting support agreements, this conversation offers the clarity and wisdom you need to make informed, empowered decisions.Maiya Safikov's Website: https://safikovslaw.com/home/Maiya's email: [email protected]**INTERESTED IN WORKING WITH ME 1:1 THIS SUMMER? APPLY BELOW**⬇️https://www.tonyacarter.com/highimpactFollow me on IG - ⁠@iamtonyacarter⁠Follow me on Facebook - ⁠Tonya Carter⁠Subscribe to my YouTube - ⁠Tonya Carter⁠

When you’re a person of faith—someone who honored your vows before God—going through a divorce can shake you to your core. It’s not just the loss of a marriage; it’s the lingering question many struggle with silently: “Does God hate me because I’m divorced?”Scripture has often been misquoted or misinterpreted in ways that leave people feeling condemned, ashamed, and distanced from God—especially in Christian communities that emphasize marriage as the ultimate goal.In today’s episode, I’m joined by Dr. Dharius Daniels for a real, grounded conversation about what the Bible actually says about divorce—and what it doesn’t. We explore how scripture is often interpreted in ways that leave people feeling condemned, how to embrace God’s forgiveness and release the weight of guilt, why singleness is not a punishment but a purposeful season, and how to trust God with what’s still possible—even after divorce.Follow Dr. Dharius Daniels on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dhariusdanielsFollow Dr. Daniels on Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/dharius.danielsDr. Daniels Website: https://dhariusdaniels.com/To learn more about Change Church: https://www.lifechange.org/**INTERESTED IN WORKING WITH ME 1:1 THIS SUMMER? APPLY BELOW** ⬇️https://www.tonyacarter.com/highimpactOrder my book: "Divorce Your Story: A Woman's Guide to Heal & Thrive After Divorce" - http://www.divorceyourstorybook.com. Also available on Amazon: https://amzn.to/2QPWoCnFollow me on IG - ⁠@iamtonyacarter⁠Follow me on Facebook - ⁠Tonya Carter⁠Subscribe to my YouTube - ⁠Tonya Carter⁠

When navigating decisions in divorce—whether financial, legal, or related to co-parenting—every choice has long-term effects. Being an active voice in these decisions is necessary to ensure that your next chapter and your children's future remain secure and intact. Failing to be involved in these decisions can leave you vulnerable to outcomes that don’t align with your best interests.Decisions may be made for you that don’t reflect your needs, values, or long-term goals.You may agree to terms that create financial strain or unnecessary hardship.Your co-parenting arrangement may not fully support your children’s well-being simply because you didn’t advocate for what was best for them.Regret can set in when you realize you had the opportunity to shape your future—but didn’t take it.At the end of the day, this is your life, your future, and your chance to create a stable foundation for yourself and your children. Speaking up and being involved in these decisions isn’t just important—it’s essential.In this week's episode, join me as discus why self-advocacy is the #1 skill you need during the divorce process, the common misconceptions about advocating for yourself, 5 ways on what advocating for yourself looks like during the divorce process and seven 7 reflection questions to ensure that you're advocating for yourself. ** DOWNLOAD THE DIVORCE BLUEPRINT FOR FREE BELOW**https://www.tonyacarter.com/blueprint**PREVIOUS PODCAST EPISODE MENTIONED** ⬇️Divorce Prep 101: 7 Essential Steps to Prepare (Ep. #186)**REGISTER FOR DIVORCE MASTERCLASS ON MARCH 31ST**⬇️https://www.tonyacarter.com/divorcemasterclass**SCHEDULE YOUR 90-MINUTE INTENSIVE BELOW** ⬇️https://www.tonyacarter.com/strategyOrder my book: "Divorce Your Story: A Woman's Guide to Heal & Thrive After Divorce" - http://www.divorceyourstorybook.com. Also available on Amazon: https://amzn.to/2QPWoCnLet’s Connect! Follow me on IG - ⁠@iamtonyacarter⁠Follow me on Facebook - ⁠Tonya Carter⁠Subscribe to my YouTube - ⁠Tonya Carter⁠

Life-altering events like divorce can shift your entire life plan.  It’s crucial to recognize that this process requires active participation and effort. Divorce doesn’t automatically become smooth, easy, or organized by chance—it takes intentional preparation. While deciding to divorce is an act of courage, it’s equally important to get clear on the steps you need to take to ensure you’re educated and equipped for this journey. Being informed empowers you to: Make informed decisions with clarity on your direction. Take control of your journey, reducing overwhelm. Lay the foundation for the next chapter of your life, knowing that how you manage this stage influences the future.In today's episode, I’m sharing seven strategic steps to help you prepare for this transition. Tune in and learn how to take proactive steps to navigate your divorce with confidence and clarity.** DOWNLOAD THE DIVORCE BLUEPRINT FOR FREE BELOW**https://www.tonyacarter.com/blueprint**SCHEDULE YOUR 90-MINUTE INTENSIVE BELOW**https://www.tonyacarter.com/strategy**PREVIOUS PODCAST EPISODE MENTIONED** ⬇️#116 - "Assembling The Right Team During Your Divorce/Breakup...Your Top Four Advisors That You Need"#181 - "Breaking Up Without Breaking Your Kids: 7 Key Parenting Mistakes to Avoid"Order my book: "Divorce Your Story: A Woman's Guide to Heal & Thrive After Divorce" - http://www.divorceyourstorybook.com. Also available on Amazon: https://amzn.to/2QPWoCnFollow me on IG - ⁠@iamtonyacarter⁠Follow me on Facebook - ⁠Tonya Carter⁠Subscribe to my YouTube - ⁠Tonya Carter⁠