By the fireside

What's that in the blue yonder? Could it be a submarine - carrying precious cargo? It could and it is - the Nautilus itself, skippered by no-one other than Michael Rosen, who's come to the island to tell Frank and Nadia all about the upcoming Michael Rosen day! The aim of the day is "to make reading, listening to, and writing poetry fun, enjoyable and accessible for all, helping children and young people of all ages to discover its magic." And we're not going to quibble with that. In fact Frank and Nadia are busy preparing their own poetry party over at the freshly dug Island Lido. While he's here, Michael regales all (both) who'll listen with fabulous tales from his extraordinary life in children's books. Who could ask for anything more?    

Who's that on the horizon, coming along on his soggy surfboard to break up the latest argument between Nadia and Frank about which chocolate bar reigns supreme? Why, it's only one of the best-loved writers in the whole of children's literature! Phil "Duke Of" Earle is the author of so many great books (When The Sky Falls, The Bubble Wrap Boy, Superhero Street and a gazillion others) he puts others to shame... but nobody durst blame that man, because he's among the mightiest mensches on the block. Listen in and if you don't agree then you're an out-and-out fibber.  

With autumn in the air and the nights starting to draw in, it's time to put aside the sun loungers and long for spooky tales around the campfire - and who better to talk with about all things spooky than the brilliant Emma Carroll. The first in her brand new series of vampire books is out this month - Dracula and Daughters describes what happenswhen three cousins discover they’re descendants of Dracula and  combine their powers to form a vampire healing company. Given that this comes from Emma, whose work was described as 'dangerous' by none other than Ted Hughes, it's going down big with Nadia and Frank. They might be full of bravado talking to Emma -  but it's a shoo in that they'll both be too scared to sleep when it comes time for hitting the hammocks. 

Nadia and Frank bring the island back to the fabulous Festival of Brilliant in Staffordshire where there's quizzing to be done. Frank joins his teammate - doodle-tactic Adeola Sokunbi of Destiny Ink fame - in the green room ahead of proceedings to quiz her about her own fabulous arrival in the world of children's books. Meanwhile Nadia's on the hunt for her own teammate, Christopher 'formerly of this parish' Edge, little knowing that Frank has locked him in an escape room. Fortunately Christopher has the Edge on Frank as he's a dab hand at escape rooms obvs - and is all ready to go when the first question's asked. None of this explains why Stuart Maconie is on scoring duty, but some things are best left alone. 

Frank and Nadia have been busy knocking down some of the pre-fab buildings they've had delivered and hiding the plans for the cross-island superhighway they were so keen on - because the fabulous Pari Thomson, creator of the magical botanical paradise Greenwild - is heading shorewards on her lily-pad for a visit. No surprise that this series of eco-thrillers has been a massive success, they're exciting enough to even distract Frank from his one-man campaign to make poets read aloud better. No surprise either that Nadia is finally ready for some time alone. 

Ranger Hamza is in the house! Or would be if we had one. Frank and Nadia are all aflutter as Hamza comes in to land on the Island in the clutches of Assassin, the might Golden Eagle who lives round the corner from him in his Scottish home. Never takes the bins out but nobody dares mention it. With tales of pine marten poo, the superpower that is his dyslexia, and of course serious snack chat hamza offers  something for everyone, and such is the enormity of his charm, intelligence and wit that two landlubbers who go by the names of Annabel and Lydia swim all the way out to the island to ask him some questions. Nadia and Frank might learn some proper interviewing techniques from them if they weren't too busy with their peurile Pogue pranks.   

It's the one, it's the only... Charlie Higson!! Nadia's got a bit of a face on when she realises who's come to join her and Frank on the island, given that they've just created a book together, as this means breaking one of the island's golden rules - but soon she's ripping up said rule book (it's very thin) and eating it with glee as Charlie charms one and all with tales from his glorious career as a children's writer. If that's not enough, there are reflections on music and (semi?) quavers, and a race to the best James Bond dog pun, though all involved have to hang their heads in shame for missing Octopuppy. 

Well we're all delighted that the plague that beset the island last month has now vanished thanks to the diligent isolating from Nadia and Frank - though perhaps they were just not talking, it's hard to tell sometimes. The island is once again open to visitors and what a treat to see Her Highness of Horror Jennifer Killick emerging from the earth's crust to marvel at Frank's Deadwood puns and chat about why she's so drawn to filling her readers with fear. In geo-political news Frank and Nadia rebuff President Trump's recent declaration of interest in the island and its chocolate reserves. The island is NOT up for grabs, Donny boy.  

She’s won the prizes as well as the love of her adoring readers for her brilliant books - including 'Orangeboy', 'Eight Pieces of Silva' and 'Rat' - but the wonder that is Patrice Lawrence has never, until now, been able to show off her true skill… the ability to freeze large bodies of water. And aren’t we the lucky ones, as it means she’s been able to pay a visit and tell Nadia and Frank all about her writing, her rage and her tip top taste in doughnuts. Now that Patrice’s new book, ‘People Like Stars’ is set to hit the shelves, she’s glad of the chance of just a little bit of peace beside the fire before the tidal wave of adulation surely coming her way hits the shore. 

Our two reluctant beachcombers have retired from the chilly sands to the cosy warmth of their makeshift hut for a wintery fireside chat about the hither, whither and thither of the Island of Brilliant's past, present and future. Expect insight, illumination, Count Duckula impressions and literary pyjama anecdotes as Nadia and Frank set their tiny island corner of the world to rights. And relax....