Episode #109: Forgiveness with Founder of Self Space, Jodie Cariss

In this episode, Kate is joined by Professor Richard Susskind OBE KC (Hon) to discuss the future of family law and legal services.About the episodeThis episode is focused on technology, the future of family law and legal services. Richard explains how the landscape has changed and what we, as consumers, can expect for the future. Especially when it comes to AI, alternative dispute resolution delivered remotely and things that haven’t even been imagined yet.  Meet our guestRichard is the world’s most cited author on the future of legal services. He is President of The Society for Computers and Law and he served as Technology Adviser to the Lord Chief Justice of England and Wales. His main area of expertise is the future of professional services and the way that AI and other technologies are changing the work of lawyers. He advises leading professional firms, in-house legal departments, and governments and judiciaries around the world. Richard has authored ten books, including The Future of Law and Tomorrow’s Lawyers. He has also contributed more than 150 columns to The Times. In 2000, he was made an OBE, and In 2022, the King approved Richard’s appointment as an Honorary King’s Counsel. 

In this episode, Kate is joined by award-winning magazine writer Lotte Jeffs and amicable Divorce Specialist, Anthony Syder to discuss queer parenting and different family structures.Meet the guestsLotte is an award-winning magazine writer, an author and podcaster. They are a contributing editor for Grazia and have hosted the award-winning podcast ‘Some Families’ as well as ‘Grazia Life Advice’ and most recently ‘From Gay To Ze’. Lotte writes for broadsheet newspapers, and international magazines and was previously Deputy Editor of ELLE. Lotte lives in London with their wife, daughter and two cats.Anthony is a divorce specialist at amicable and has worked in the area of divorce, mediation and family dispute resolution for the past 10 years. His areas of interest include the voice of the child, as well as diverse and inclusive families.About the episodeKate and Lotte begin the episode by exploring Lotte’s story and current family dynamics. They then move on to look at the topic of LGBTQ+ families and the unique challenges they face during a divorce or parental separation. Later, they explore the dynamics children create in blended families and the different communities and support structures available in the face of separation.

In this episode, Kate is joined by Jodie Cariss, Founder of the online therapy platform Self Space to discuss the emotional journey of separation and the role of forgiveness in the healing process.Meet our guestsJodie is a therapist with over twenty years of experience in the field and a Tavistock-trained executive coach. Jodie has fast become a leading voice advocating for accessible mental health support.Jodie is the co-author of 'How to Grow Through What You Go Through', published by Penguin in 2022, and regularly contributes to panel talks, podcasts and media titles such as Stylist Magazine, Cosmopolitan, Vogue and The Times.  About the episodeKate and Jodie begin this episode by discussing Jodie’s background, and how she got into her profession and ended up founding Self Space, including Jodie’s individual experience with divorce. Throughout the episode, they discuss topics such as forgiveness, moving past and overcoming resentment, and replacing it with compassion, especially when it comes to co-parenting.

In this episode, Kate is joined by Founder of the Bristol Grandparents Support Group, Jane Jackson, and amicable Divorce Specialist, Anthony Syder to discuss role of grandparents during parental separation and divorce.About the episode Kate, Jane and Anthony touch on a variety of topics including what can happen during an acrimonious separation, especially how grandparents can lose touch with their grandchildren, as well as the rights they may have and the more amicable ways of regaining contact. This episode is full of tips and highlights the importance of putting the children first, as well as the value grandparents can bring to children’s upbringing.  Meet the guestsJane founded the Bristol Grandparents Support Group in 2007 when she lost contact with her granddaughter due to her sons’ divorce.The support group aims to inform people of the issues surrounding Grandparents and their rights to see their Grandchildren when contact has been denied.Jane holds bi-monthly support groups remotely to help grandparents deal with estrangement, an issue affecting one in seven.Anthony is a Divorce Specialist at amicable and has worked in the area of divorce, mediation and family dispute resolution for the past 10  years. His areas of interest include the voice of the child and diverse and inclusive families.

In this episode, Kate is joined by former family barrister turned therapist and author, Charlotte Friedman. About the episodeThe focus of this episode is loneliness. Kate and Charlotte begin by exploring what loneliness is, whether it’s a physical or mental feeling or both, and how loneliness links to grief, as well as the emotional journey of divorce and separation. They discuss seeking professional help and how children and other family members can sense and react to loneliness. Finally, Charlotte and Kate discuss coping mechanisms for loneliness, especially post-separation.About the guestCharlotte decided to move from the courtroom to the therapist’s chair to help people manage the emotional journey of divorce. In her book, Breaking Upwards, Charlotte offers calm, therapeutic advice on everything from managing loneliness to letting go of grievance. Charlotte is a trained Psychodynamic Psychotherapist registered with the British Psychoanalytic Council and the Tavistock Society. She is also the founder of the Divorce Support Group which has provided a community for people trying to manage the emotional impact of divorce and separation.

In this episode, Kate is joined by clinical psychologist, Angharad Rudkin, and solicitor, mediator, and campaigner Helen Adam. About the episode Kate and Helen begin the episode by discussing the Family Solutions Group (FSG) and explaining the Right to Matter report. They move on to discuss who in Government currently takes responsibility for children when parents separate. Helen explores some of the consultations' findings as well as the common questions that emerged from the UK Youth Parliament. Later on in the episode, Kate and Angharad discuss how children and families are impacted during parental separation, whether divorce or separation impacts children’s mental health and to what extent. Also, they explore what this can look like day-to-day and what the key factors are that lead to significant impact. Finally, Helen and Adam give their recommendations for further help and advice and the next steps for future reports and actions on the level of government.About the guestsHelen Adam started her work with separating families as a solicitor in London. Following a career break, she retrained as a mediator and founded Wells Family Mediation. Helen is also chair of the Family Solutions Group (FSG). The FSG presses for coordinated political oversight and funding for separated families. We’ve previously recorded an episode on language with Helen, so make sure to have a listen. Dr Angharad Rudkin is a clinical psychologist with over 20 years experience of working with children and families to discuss divorce and separation from the perspective of children.Angharad is also an expert for the Metro's relationship column, offers training and consultation for family lawyers and worked as a lecturer on the Clinical Psychology doctorate at the University of Southampton for 12 years.Angharad was a consulting editor for ‘101 Questions Answered about Separating with Children’ and has recently published a book for children on how to cope with their parent’s divorce, The Split Survival Kit, written with children’s author Ruth Fitzgerald. We’ve also recorded an episode with Angharad in the past which is number 57 if you would like to have a listen.For help and advice with divorce, separation, co-parenting or anything related to these, please visit: amicable.co.uk

In this episode, Kate is joined by clinical therapist and manager, Julie Cooper, to discuss the reality of co-parenting across the varying stages of childhood.About the guestJulie is a lead provider of mental health services at Honey for Moms, in Ferndale, Michigan. She is a Co-parenting specialist and single mum of two and has dedicated her career to helping parents throughout their co-parenting journey. As a mother moving through divorce, Julie’s personal experience of co-parenting highlighted the need for a stronger support system, clearer information and dependable resources. Her journey along this path drove her to believe that, regardless of marital status, raising secure children who feel seen, heard, and loved by both parents, is possible with the right tools and support. Julie's tenured work in mental health has led her to become a strong clinician, leader, and advocate for mental health. She also has a passion for helping individuals with trauma, anxiety, depression, and low self-worth. As team lead in her practice, Julie is deeply committed to providing professional guidance and furthering education in this field.About the episodeThroughout this episode, Kate and Julie move through the different stages of childhood, highlighting the most important considerations when moving into a co-parenting family structure. They look at separating when children are babies, toddlers, young children, teenagers and finally, children as they grow up and the signs and changes you may have to look out for, as well as signposting the available help. 

In this episode, Kate was joined by Professor Lisa Doodson and Rebecca Jones from amicable to discuss introducing new partners and navigating blended families. Meet our guestsLisa is a chartered psychologist and founder of HappySteps, a consultancy providing training and advice to professionals and families directly.  As an expert in the field, Lisa frequently contributes to TV documentaries and comments in the press. Rebecca, or Bec, is a divorce specialist at amicable and was previously a family solicitor. Bec has also been through her own divorce and now has a blended family. About this episodeThis episode is full of tips about introducing new partners and general advice on blended families. We look at some of the unique challenges that each presents, as well as the potential benefits of growing up in a blended family. Lisa provides insightful advice about coping with different parenting styles, as well as tips on establishing house rules. Bec gives many tips on practical things families can do to make the journey smoother, based on her experience. This episode is a real homage to the idea that families come in all shapes and sizes and there's no ‘right’ way to parent your kids, highlighting the fact that respect and communication are the foundations for a happy blended family.  

In this episode, Kate was joined by Mark Groves, a Human Connection Specialist and founder of 'Create the Love', to discuss co-dependency in relationships, separation and divorce.  About the guestMark's separation from his ex-partner sparked his journey to turn his experiences into an impactful message. Mark founded Create The Love, a platform that guides people to design the life and love they long for, following on from his rock bottom when his relationship ended. He hosts The Mark Groves Podcast and has a significant following on social media where he shares his insight into relationships. Today, Mark is a human connection specialist, speaker, writer, motivator, creator, connector and collaborator. As a bridge between the academic and the human, Mark invites people to explore the good, bad, downright ugly, and beautiful sides of connection.  Mark is a friend of the podcast and this is his second appearance; you can check out Mark's previous episode here.Kate and Mark begin the episode by exploring how co-dependency can manifest in romantic and other personal relationships. They look at the link between codependency and addiction, as well as whether a codependent relationship can ever be healthy. During the episode, they talk about ending a codependent relationship and how fear is a driver for couples staying together in unhealthy and unhappy relationships. Finally, Mark and Kate end the episode by discussing the role of boundaries in healing co-dependency and co-parenting. 

In this episode, Kate is joined by founder and Master Divorce Coach, Louise Neville, to discuss surviving the family court.Louise founded the company Family Court Survival and supports people emotionally, practically and strategically through the Family Court System In England and Wales. She is a Master Divorce Coach and Professional McKenzie Friend who works in children’s welfare and is at the forefront of everything she does. Kate and Louise begin this episode by exploring what we mean by the family court. Louise explains how she ended up there after separating from her husband over unresolved financial and child arrangement issues. This episode is focused on helping people navigate the family court when they have no other choice.   Louise’s detailed explanation of the process for Children Act proceedings is useful in understanding what’s involved if you end up in a dispute when you separate.Trigger Warning: This episode covers content that some listeners might find distressing including poor mental health and abuse.Organisations who can help:Dads UnlimitedYour local GPMind - mental health charitySamaritans - dial 116 123 or text SHOUT to 85258YoungMinds Crisis Messenger – for people under 19Is your life in danger? - dial 999Outside of the UK? Search for help here