#88: Think It Through: Parenting, Culture, and Mental Models

Get 15% off any STSI course with code THINK15 — start training your brain today!In this episode, Drs. Derek and Laura Cabrera of Cornell University explore one of the simplest—but most profound—thinking skills: drawing the boundary between what something is and what it is not.They unpack how this move, called Is/Is Not List, sits at the core of systems thinking and shows up in everything from team communication to personal growth. From construct validity in science to everyday misunderstandings, the Cabreras explain why most confusion, conflict, and wasted effort come from failing to define boundaries clearly.With practical examples, from workplace misalignment to leadership clarity, they demonstrate how making distinctions transforms thinking from slow and fuzzy to fast and right. Simple doesn’t mean shallow—this episode proves that mastering the basics is the key to mastery itself.

Get 15% off any systems thinking course with code ST-15 - become a professional systems thinker today: https://www.stsi.pro/category/credentialIn this episode, Drs. Derek and Laura Cabrera of Cornell University revisit two of their most powerful ideas about the future of education: “We teach humans, not subjects,” and “What if we taught thinking through content, not content through thinking?”They explain how O-based education—rooted in the DSRP patterns of thought and the Love Reality Loop—can transform learning by putting the focus on how students think, not just what they know. Instead of cramming kids with facts that quickly become outdated, O-based learning trains students to build mental models that adapt to reality, preparing them for an unpredictable world filled with misinformation, technology, and change.From the classroom to AI to the dinner table, this episode explores what it really means to teach humans how to think, discern, and grow. It’s a bold new vision for education—one that prepares students for life, not just tests.

In this Think It Through episode, Drs. Derek and Laura Cabrera of Cornell University unpack one of life’s most universal challenges: how to take feedback that clashes with your self-image. What starts as a simple question—“How do I handle feedback that hurts?”—turns into a deep exploration of identity, ego, and growth.They reveal how most people unconsciously build mental “castle walls” around their self-concept, blocking feedback that could help them evolve. Through humor, real-world examples, and systems thinking tools like part–whole, is/is not, and boundaries, they show how to create a semi-permeable mind—one that protects what matters while staying open to truth.If you’ve ever bristled at criticism, struggled to take feedback, or wondered why certain comments hit harder than others, this episode will help you understand yourself—and others—on a whole new level.

In this episode, Drs. Derek and Laura Cabrera of Cornell University take a rapid-fire tour through some of the most famous systems thinking quotes from legends like Donella Meadows, Peter Senge, Russell Ackoff, W. Edwards Deming, and even the Buddha.Laura reads each quote, and Derek rates them 1–10 on validity, reliability, and usefulness—revealing which ideas stand up to science and which ones fall apart under scrutiny. From “Every system is perfectly designed to get the results it gets” (spoiler: a 10) to “Reality is made up of circles, but we see straight lines” (not so much), this episode separates truth from myth with humor, depth, and a bit of friendly roasting.If you’ve ever wondered which systems thinking ideas actually hold up—and which just sound smart—this one’s for you.

In this Think It Through episode, Drs. Derek and Laura Cabrera of Cornell University tackle two everyday problems that reveal the hidden power of systems thinking. They start by breaking down why theory and practice are never truly separate, showing how real solutions emerge when people think structurally—whether they’re leading teams or navigating family life.Using a 7% market growth challenge as a case study, they introduce a powerful move called P Gen S Drop P—a simple way to align marketing, sales, and operations around a shared mental model instead of competing perspectives. Then, they apply the same logic to a deeply relatable family conflict between two sisters stuck in a feedback loop of stress and unhealthy habits.From corporate strategy to personal relationships, this episode proves one thing: when you stop debating perspectives and start diagramming systems, you can see the real structure beneath every problem—and finally solve it.

In this episode, Drs. Derek and Laura Cabrera of Cornell University help a listener untangle a familiar problem: saying yes to everything and ending up exhausted, resentful, and burned out.They diagram the hidden mental model behind overcommitment—a self-made loop of guilt, fear, and misplaced responsibility—and show how systems thinking can break it. You’ll learn how to set real boundaries without guilt, stop assuming what others think of you, and reclaim your time and energy.From the “2x4 Guy” (you’ll get it) to emotional intelligence and the Rar Quad, this episode offers practical, mindset-shifting tools to help you stop reacting and start acting with purpose.

In this practical episode, Drs. Derek and Laura Cabrera of Cornell University show how the same underlying mental structures shape both family life and organizational culture.From a frustrated parent arguing with a teen about driving to a CEO dealing with conflicting rules in the workplace, the problem isn’t people—it’s the invisible mental models guiding their behavior. Using simple systems thinking tools, they break down how to surface, compare, and rebuild shared mental models that actually work.You’ll learn how to stop having the same argument twice, fix cultural contradictions, and see the structure beneath every problem—at home, at work, and everywhere in between.

In this episode, Drs. Derek and Laura Cabrera of Cornell University take a wrecking ball to the confusion surrounding systems thinking. Whether you’re brand new to the field or knee-deep in its many (often conflicting) methodologies, this episode will save you years of frustration by cutting straight to the core: what systems thinking is, what it’s not, and how to actually get good at it.They reveal why most systems thinking resources are either snake oil or rabbit holes, and why practicing the Six Moves is more powerful than reading 50 books. You’ll learn the difference between systems science, systems methods, and systems thinking—and why that difference matters. They also explain why being smart isn’t about IQ or degrees, but about aligning with reality. And yes, simplicity isn’t just okay—it’s essential.Forget the jargon, skip the cocktail-party credentials, and learn how to actually do systems thinking in real life. This episode is your shortcut to the good stuff.

In this episode, Drs. Derek and Laura Cabrera of Cornell University answer a simple but urgent question from a parent: “Can you teach systems thinking to kids?” Spoiler: not only can you, you should—and it may be the most important thing you ever do.They break down why kids are actually better systems thinkers than adults (fewer bad habits), how to teach the Six Moves in everyday life (with groceries, frogs, or even sugar packets), and why teaching the structure of thought—not just information—is the holy grail of learning.You’ll also learn about the four kinds of transfer (the secret to real understanding), how to use verbal, visual, and tactile tools to teach any age, and why systems thinking skills are a child’s best defense against misinformation, manipulation, and the modern world.Whether you're a parent, teacher, or just someone who cares about the next generation—this episode will show you how to start early, think clearly, and raise resilient thinkers.

How do two people work together, parent together, and live together every day without driving each other nuts?In this personal and powerful episode, Drs. Derek and Laura Cabrera of Cornell University share the six systems thinking principles that transformed their relationship—and how you can apply them to yours. They break down the practical tools that help them avoid blame, navigate patterns, embrace honesty, and understand each other better using DSRP and the Love-Reality Loop.Whether you're in a marriage, parenting teens, or just want deeper connections in your life, this episode gives you real-world insights, tools, and hope. Because relationships aren’t supposed to be hard—they’re just supposed to be systems.