Fitting In Is the Enemy of Excellence (with Anne Morriss & Frances Frei)

What do a combat pilot, a $250M entrepreneur, and a world-renowned academic have in common? ADHD. In this episode, I revisit one of my favorite conversations about how ADHD shows up in high-performing leaders who live different lives. I sit down with Nate Swan, a combat pilot who thrives in high-stress environments, Dan Bastian, co-founder of Boom Chicka Pop, and Johan Wiklund, a professor who studies ADHD in entrepreneurship. We talk about hyperfocus, impulsivity, anxiety, late diagnosis, leadership, and the unexpected ways ADHD can become a competitive advantage. Get ready to learn how the very traits often labeled as “disorders” can fuel success, creativity, and resilience. Check out our sponsors: Northwest Registered Agent - Protect your privacy, build your brand and get your complete business identity in just 10 clicks and 10 minutes! Visit https://www.northwestregisteredagent.com/achieverfree Shopify - Sign up for a $1 per month trial, just go to shopify.com/anxiousachiever Cozy Earth - Give your home the luxury it deserves. Head to cozyearth.com and use code ACHIEVER for up to 20% off. Express VPN - Secure your online data today. Visit expressvpn.com/achiever and find out how you can get up to four extra months. Talkiatry - Head to talkiaitry.com/achiever and complete the short assessment to get matched with an in network psychiatrist in just a few minutes. Working Genius - Take the working genius assessment today and get 20% off with code ACHIEVER at working genius.com In this Episode, You Will Learn 00:00 3 high achievers with ADHD live completely different lives. 03:15 Why chaotic environments calm the ADHD brain. 04:45 How anxiety and ADHD overlap. 05:30 What happens when ADHD goes undiagnosed in adulthood? 06:30 The career risks of ADHD medication for military pilots. 09:00 Leadership lessons from managing neurodiverse teams. 11:30 How the military is shifting its mental health culture. 18:00 The anxiety that never fully goes away. 20:30 Is ADHD good or bad? 25:30 The types of work that suit ADHD brains. 34:30 Designing work around energy cycles. 37:30 How to use ADHD and anxiety as motivators. Resources + Links Get a copy of my book - The Anxious Achiever Watch the podcast on YouTube  Find more resources on our website morraam.com Follow Follow me: on LinkedIn @morraaronsmele + Instagram @morraam

What if the very differences you’ve been trying to smooth out are actually your greatest leadership strengths? In this episode, I’m joined by renowned leadership coaches and Fixable hosts Frances Frei and Anne Morriss for a conversation about anxiety, being a neurodivergent leader, and what it really takes to lead well. We talk about how partnership at work and in life has taught them to communicate clearly, embrace conflict, and build teams that thrive because of difference. I ask Frances and Anne some listener questions, from micromanaging bosses to burnout, imposter syndrome, and the fear of being “known for DEI.” Tune in to discover how setting boundaries and rewriting your inner narrative transform the way you lead and feel in life and at work. Check out our sponsors: Northwest Registered Agent - Protect your privacy, build your brand and get your complete business identity in just 10 clicks and 10 minutes! Visit https://www.northwestregisteredagent.com/achieverfree Shopify - Sign up for a $1 per month trial, just go to http://shopify.com/anxiousachiever Cozy Earth - Give your home the luxury it deserves. Head to http://cozyearth.com and use code ACHIEVER for up to 20% off. Express VPN - Secure your online data today. Visit http://expressvpn.com/achiever and find out how you can get up to four extra months. Talkiatry - Head to http://talkiaitry.com/achiever and complete the short assessment to get matched with an in network psychiatrist in just a few minutes. Working Genius - Take the working genius assessment today and get 20% off with code ACHIEVER at working http://genius.com In this Episode, You Will Learn 00:00 Meet Frances Frei & Anne Morriss. 06:00 What partners with different wiring teach each other. 12:45 How conflict actually drives high performance. 16:45 How being neurodivergent has shaped Frances’s leadership at Harvard. 20:00 The power of devotion and high standards. 23:45 What are the three elements of trust? 27:45 How listening can change a broken dynamic. 31:30 Why inconsistent boundaries are the same as no boundaries. 39:15 Is it risky to be known for DEI right now? 42:15 How to make inclusion feel expansive, not exclusive. 50:15 Why you’re not the best judge of your own excellence. 51:00 Protecting your life force as a leader. Resources + Links Download the Anxious Achiever App HERE Listen to Fixable with Frances Frei & Anne Morriss HERE Learn more about Frances Frei & Anne Morriss HERE Get your copy of Unleashed by Frances Frei & Anne Morriss Get your copy of Move Fast & Fix Things by Frances Frei & Anne Morriss Get a copy of my book - The Anxious Achiever Watch the podcast on YouTube  Find more resources on our website morraam.com Follow Follow me: on LinkedIn @morraaronsmele + Instagram @morraam Follow Frances: on LinkedIn @francesfrei + Instagram @francesxfrei Follow Anne: on LinkedIn @annemorriss + Instagram @annemorriss

Most of us are unknowingly over-breathing all day long, and it’s quietly keeping our nervous systems stuck in fight or flight. In this episode, I sit down with breathwork coach Zsombor Szabo to talk about how breathing can radically change your energy, focus, and emotional state anywhere you are. Zsombor guides us through live breathing exercises designed to calm your body, find your optimal energy zone, and even intentionally activate your system to build resilience. We also dive into why modern work keeps us in constant survival mode, why most of us unknowingly hyperventilate all day, and how long-term stress impacts health and leadership. Get ready to regain control in high pressure moments. Check out our sponsors: Northwest Registered Agent - Protect your privacy, build your brand and get your complete business identity in just 10 clicks and 10 minutes! Visit https://www.northwestregisteredagent.com/achieverfree Shopify - Sign up for a $1 per month trial, just go to shopify.com/anxiousachiever Cozy Earth - Give your home the luxury it deserves. Head to cozyearth.com and use code ACHIEVER for up to 20% off. Express VPN - Secure your online data today. Visit expressvpn.com/achiever and find out how you can get up to four extra months. Talkiatry - Head to talkiaitry.com/achiever and complete the short assessment to get matched with an in network psychiatrist in just a few minutes. Working Genius - Take the working genius assessment today and get 20% off with code ACHIEVER at working genius.com In this Episode, You Will Learn 00:00 How your breathing affects your workday. 03:00 A guided physiological sigh to calm your nervous system. 07:30 What does tightness in your chest and belly reveal about stress? 10:15 Why stress hormones stay elevated at work. 12:15 The gas pedal vs. brake pedal of your nervous system. 14:30 How breath hacks your autonomic nervous system. 16:00 Ways to do box breathing for focus and steady energy. 22:15 Why music + breathwork helps neurodivergent brains. 27:45 How breathwork improves listening and leadership. 30:30 How do you co-regulate and breathe anxious kids? 32:30 Tips to turn breathwork into a habit. 36:45 How to breathe better while working on your computer. 42:00 How to train your nervous system for stress. 44:00 Live intense circular breathing exercise. 50:45 What breath holds do for calm and presence. 57:30 Why do most adults over-breathe? 59:30 Advice on using breathwork to manage panic attacks. Resources + Links Get a copy of my book - The Anxious Achiever Watch the podcast on YouTube  Find more resources on our website morraam.com Follow Follow me: on LinkedIn @morraaronsmele + Instagram @morraam Follow Zsombor on LinkedIn

What if peak performance isn’t about grinding harder but mastering your inner world? In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Michael Gervais, high-performance psychologist and expert to elite athletes and leaders, to talk about what truly drives motivation, focus, and sustainable success. We dive into the science behind activation and anxiety, how to find your intrinsic drivers, and why self-discovery is the foundation of mastery. Michael shares how learning to regulate your nervous system, train your attention, and build mental skills can transform the way you perform under pressure. Get ready to rethink motivation, focus, and what it means to truly master your mind. Check out our sponsors: Northwest Registered Agent - Protect your privacy, build your brand and get your complete business identity in just 10 clicks and 10 minutes! Visit https://www.northwestregisteredagent.com/achieverfree Shopify - Sign up for a $1 per month trial, just go to shopify.com/anxiousachiever Cozy Earth - Give your home the luxury it deserves. Head to cozyearth.com and use code ACHIEVER for up to 20% off. Express VPN - Secure your online data today. Visit expressvpn.com/achiever and find out how you can get up to four extra months. Talkiatry - Head to talkiaitry.com/achiever and complete the short assessment to get matched with an in network psychiatrist in just a few minutes. Working Genius - Take the working genius assessment today and get 20% off with code ACHIEVER at working genius.com In this Episode, You Will Learn 00:00 Why mastering your inner world matters more than external success. 03:15 How anxiety can be trained instead of feared. 06:30 The science behind activation and peak performance. 09:00 Why elite performers don’t wait to “feel motivated”. 11:00 How to stop letting the external world control your internal state. 14:30 Why unmanaged stress drains your energy fast. 16:15 The difference between drive and motivation. 18:45 Why do you need both intrinsic vs. extrinsic rewards? 21:00 What truly motivates high performers. 23:30 Why ADHD isn’t a lack of attention but equal attention. 27:15 How to train focus and avoid mental burnout. 34:00 Why meditation strengthens attention like a muscle. 37:15 How mindfulness creates insight and wisdom. 39:00 What elite coaches teach about staying coachable. 42:15 Why fear of people’s opinions blocks growth. 45:45 What’s the difference between performance-based identity vs. purpose-based identity? 49:15 How to build a daily purpose mindset. 52:45 Why purpose doesn’t need to be grand to be powerful. 54:30 Tools to regulate anxiety and emotional activation. 56:00 Leadership lessons from Bill Russell on teamwork. Resources + Links Get a copy of my book - The Anxious Achiever Watch the podcast on YouTube  Find more resources on our website morraam.com Follow Follow me: on LinkedIn @morraaronsmele + Instagram @morraam Follow Michael: on LinkedIn @drmichaelgervais + Instagram @michaelgervais

Perfectionism often looks like ambition, discipline, and excellence until it quietly turns into anxiety, burnout, and relentless self-criticism. In this episode, I’m joined by Jordana Confino, former Yale-trained lawyer turned coach, to talk about the cost of maladaptive perfectionism and why so many high-achieving professionals mistake self-criticism for motivation. We dive into the difference between sustainable excellence and fear-driven overachievement, the neuroscience behind why beating yourself up actually hurts performance, and what it really takes to move from being your own worst enemy to becoming your most effective ally. Tune in if you’re ready to achieve more with less self-punishment. Check out our sponsors: Northwest Registered Agent - Protect your privacy, build your brand and get your complete business identity in just 10 clicks and 10 minutes! Visit https://www.northwestregisteredagent.com/achieverfree Shopify - Sign up for a $1 per month trial, just go to shopify.com/anxiousachiever Cozy Earth - Give your home the luxury it deserves. Head to cozyearth.com and use code ACHIEVER for up to 20% off. Express VPN - Secure your online data today. Visit expressvpn.com/achiever and find out how you can get up to four extra months. Talkiatry - Head to talkiaitry.com/achiever and complete the short assessment to get matched with an in network psychiatrist in just a few minutes. Working Genius - Take the working genius assessment today and get 20% off with code ACHIEVER at working genius.com In this Episode, You Will Learn 00:00 What does maladaptive perfectionism look like in anxious achievers? 04:30 How perfectionism becomes a strategy for proving worth. 11:00 What’s the difference between maladaptive perfectionism and sustainable excellence? 15:15 How self-criticism harms performance at a neurological level. 17:00 Why perfectionist lawyers report lower ambition. 21:00 What psychological safety teaches us about mistakes and growth. 27:00 How law school culture amplifies perfectionism and anxiety. 31:00 Why billable hours reward inefficiency and burnout. 36:45 Why perfectionists often struggle with productivity and time management. 40:00 The most powerful tool for anxious achievers. 46:00 How neuroplasticity makes lasting change possible. 50:00 Can self-criticism ever be useful motivation? 55:45 Why the best leaders tolerate short-term discomfort to prevent burnout. 59:30 The invisible cage anxious achievers build for themselves. Resources + Links Jordana Confino's study "The Perfectionist Paradox." Get a copy of my book - The Anxious Achiever Watch the podcast on YouTube  Find more resources on our website morraam.com Follow Follow me: on LinkedIn @morraaronsmele + Instagram @morraam Follow Jordana on LinkedIn: @jordanaconfino

Asking for what you need at work wasn’t an accommodation, but a leadership skill. In this episode, I sit down with Stew Friedman, the pioneer of Total Leadership and founding director of Wharton’s Work-Life Integration Project, to rethink how we approach work, life, and leadership. We talk about why so many high performers feel guilty asking for flexibility, time, or support and why leaders who understand their whole lives are actually better, more sustainable performers. Stew also breaks down the Total Leadership model, which centers on being real, being whole, and being innovative to create what he calls “four-way wins” across work, home, community, and self. Get ready to stop asking for permission and start leading your life with intention. Check out our sponsors: Northwest Registered Agent - Protect your privacy, build your brand and get your complete business identity in just 10 clicks and 10 minutes! Visit https://www.northwestregisteredagent.com/achieverfree Shopify - Sign up for a $1 per month trial, just go to shopify.com/anxiousachiever Cozy Earth - Give your home the luxury it deserves. Head to cozyearth.com and use code ACHIEVER for up to 20% off. Express VPN - Secure your online data today. Visit expressvpn.com/achiever and find out how you can get up to four extra months. Talkiatry - Head to talkiaitry.com/achiever and complete the short assessment to get matched with an in network psychiatrist in just a few minutes. Working Genius - Take the working genius assessment today and get 20% off with code ACHIEVER at working genius.com In this Episode, You Will Learn 00:00 Why asking for what you need at work feels like an accommodation. 06:00 How work, home, community, and self must work together. 10:00 Why self-knowledge is the foundation of sustainable leadership. 17:45 What “four-way win” experiments look like in life. 22:15 Why flexibility works best when framed as mutual value. 27:30 How leaders unintentionally block agency on their teams. 32:30 What is the biggest mistake people make when asking for support? 38:30 What mental health and leadership have in common.  43:30 Why different minds require different leadership models. 49:00 What makes us whole? Resources + Links Learn more about Total Leadership Org HERE Get a copy of my book - The Anxious Achiever Watch the podcast on YouTube  Find more resources on our website morraam.com Follow Follow me: on LinkedIn @morraaronsmele + Instagram @morraam Follow Stew Friedman on LinkedIn

We throw the word toxic around a lot at work, but how do you actually know when an environment is truly toxic versus just uncomfortable, stressful, or not the right fit? In this episode, I'm bringing back this conversation with my late friend and colleague Benish Shah to talk about workplace toxicity, psychological safety, covert bias, weaponized vulnerability, and more. Benish shares tips for identifying toxic patterns, protecting yourself in unsafe environments, and making thoughtful exit plans when leaving isn’t immediately possible. Tune in to learn how to recognize toxicity, reclaim your clarity, and protect your well-being at work. Check out our sponsors: Northwest Registered Agent - Protect your privacy, build your brand and get your complete business identity in just 10 clicks and 10 minutes! Visit https://www.northwestregisteredagent.com/achieverfree In this Episode, You Will Learn 00:00 Are workplaces more toxic, or do we just have better language now? 03:30 How leadership avoidance quietly creates toxic cultures. 09:00 What is toxicity? 13:00 A self-assessment to determine if your workplace is toxic. 18:15 How to know if it’s actually safe to be vulnerable at work. 22:00 How to make an exit plan when you can’t quit right away. 29:00 Tips if your toxic boss is making your job unbearable. 34:30 How to safely check if others are experiencing the same toxicity. 37:30 What to do if you are the toxic one. Resources + Links Get a copy of my book - The Anxious Achiever Watch the podcast on YouTube  Find more resources on our website morraam.com Follow Follow me: on LinkedIn @morraaronsmele + Instagram @morraam

Is Taylor Swift an anxious achiever? In this episode, I sit down with Kevin Evers, editor at Harvard Business Review Press and author of "There's Nothing Like This: The Strategic Genius of Taylor Swift", to talk about Taylor Swift’s career through the lens of anxiety, ambition, and strategic brilliance. We dive into how Taylor’s striving energy, emotional vulnerability, and relentless work ethic fueled one of the most extraordinary careers in modern music. We also talk about her songwriting as a mirror for professional heartbreak, confidence built through insecurity, and why loving your work deeply may be the most powerful advantage of all. Get ready to rethink anxiety, ambition, and what it really takes to build something iconic. Check out our sponsors: Northwest Registered Agent - Protect your privacy, build your brand and get your complete business identity in just 10 clicks and 10 minutes! Visit https://www.northwestregisteredagent.com/achieverfree In this Episode, You Will Learn 00:00 Is Taylor Swift an anxious achiever? 03:00 Why Reputation resonates so deeply with anxious achievers. 07:15 How Taylor advocated for herself at just 13 years old. 15:30 How anxiety drives preparation, precision, and performance. 17:45 What the Eras Tour reveals about exceeding expectations at scale. 19:45 The physical and emotional cost of relentless performance. 22:30 Why did Taylor Swift want to become a pop star? 25:00 Why the Speak Now era marked a pivotal reinvention. 29:00 What Miss Americana revealed about the hidden costs of success. 31:00 What is productive paranoia? 37:00 How total creative control keeps Taylor authentic through every era. 42:30 Leadership lessons from humility and fan obsession. 47:45 Professional heartbreak and emotional ownership of work. 54:45 What makes Taylor Swift so successful? Resources + Links Get your copy of There’s Nothing Like This by Kevin Evers Get a copy of my book - The Anxious Achiever Watch the podcast on YouTube  Find more resources on our website morraam.com Follow Follow me: on LinkedIn @morraaronsmele + Instagram @morraam Follow Kevin Evers: on LinkedIn @kevin-evers1 + Instagram @there_is_nothing_like_this

Many older workers complain that younger generations don’t work hard enough or don’t want their jobs to define them. But what if that behavior is actually a rational response to an economy that no longer delivers on its promises? In this episode, I talk about the economic reality facing millennials and Gen Z, featuring voices from young professionals navigating uncertainty, debt, layoffs, and housing insecurity, along with journalist Annie Lowrey from The Atlantic. We dive into how recessions, student debt, and rising inequality have reshaped ambition, risk-taking, and trust in institutions and more. Get ready to see generational anxiety through a much clearer lens. Check out our sponsors: Northwest Registered Agent - Protect your privacy, build your brand and get your complete business identity in just 10 clicks and 10 minutes! Visit https://www.northwestregisteredagent.com/achieverfree In this Episode, You Will Learn 00:00 How housing costs and economic insecurity shape career choices and risk-taking. 04:45 What graduating into a recession does to long-term earnings and opportunity. 09:45 How student debt impacts mental health, anxiety, and future planning. 14:45 Why younger generations delay homeownership, children, and entrepreneurship. 21:45 How recessions affect trust in institutions and increase social solidarity. 23:15 What psychological and financial toll does debt take on younger generations? 27:45 Has credential inflation devalued advanced degrees? 30:30 How distorted narratives impact job seekers, workers, and entire generations. 34:00 Why declining entrepreneurship is a structural problem, not a personal failure. Resources + Links Read Annie Lowrey’s reporting in The Atlantic Get a copy of my book - The Anxious Achiever Watch the podcast on YouTube  Find more resources on our website morraam.com Follow Follow me: on LinkedIn @morraaronsmele + Instagram @morraam

Burnout isn’t just about working too hard, and stress isn’t always the enemy. In this episode, I talk with Jessica Neal, former Chief Talent Officer at Netflix and now venture capitalist, about why the biggest workplace problems refuse to improve. We talk about why high-performing cultures often forget to acknowledge what’s working, how fear quietly drives burnout, and why honesty and clear expectations might be the most underrated leadership skills we have. Get ready to know what it really takes to build a healthier, more human workplace. Check out our sponsors: Northwest Registered Agent - Protect your privacy, build your brand and get your complete business identity in just 10 clicks and 10 minutes! Visit https://www.northwestregisteredagent.com/achieverfree In this Episode, You Will Learn 00:00 Why burnout and chronic stress keep rising despite endless conversations. 05:00 The hidden skills that make high-pressure leadership roles work. 08:15 The blockers to a healthy workplace. 13:00 How burnout becomes self-fulfilling when clarity is missing. 18:45 How panic attacks can come from internal pressure, not external crises. 21:45 What leaders miss when they only focus on what’s broken. 29:30 Why women are still leaving leadership roles at higher rates. 35:00 The impossible choice many women face between career momentum and caregiving. 43:30 How working outside your strengths (and with the wrong people) quietly fuels burnout. 47:30 Avoiding hard conversations is costing teams speed, trust, and clarity. Resources + Links Jessica Neal’s podcast TruthWorks HERE Get a copy of my book - The Anxious Achiever Watch the podcast on YouTube  Find more resources on our website morraam.com Follow Follow me: on LinkedIn @morraaronsmele + Instagram @morraam Follow Jessica: on LinkedIn @jeneal