Gay Trauma, Gay Healing: Dan Werner on Breaking the Patterns We Carry EP 784

In this episode: The controversial “no men over 55” entrance policy Why describing older gay men as “more relaxed” feels so condescending Ageism and the obsession with youth in gay male spaces Why energy, confidence and sexual vitality do not have an expiration date The difference between creating a specific atmosphere and outright discrimination The sauna’s avatar game and its attempt to blend technology, fantasy and cruising Whether digital interaction enhances real-life connection—or gets in the way Who gets to decide which bodies belong in queer sexual spaces? Why intergenerational spaces can be valuable, sexy and necessary Follow Steve V's new Substack features weekly articles. 20% Off now through end of August! https://substack.com/@thenakedtruthsteve Follow TAGSPODCAST: YouTube: YouTube.com/TAGSPodcast Instagram: @iam_stevev TikTok: @tagspodcast Follow Jeremy on IG: @jrosslopez Follow Kodi on IG: @mistahmaurice Subscribe to Steve V’s Substack, The Naked Truth, for personal stories and uncensored reflections on sex, desire, confidence, relationships and queer life. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

In this episode: Maria Van Cartier brings the glamour, humor, and unforgettable stories. The importance of documenting and preserving queer history. How New York City nightlife creates community and chosen family. Making space for the stories of Black and Brown queer people. What it means to live—and age—openly and unapologetically. Maria shares the inspiration behind her podcast, Remember the Time. Steve V discusses his current Substack post, “When Gay Men Started Looking at Me.” Steve reacts to the latest alarming AI story and asks whether the people developing artificial intelligence know something the rest of us don’t. How the new warning connects to this year’s documentary, The AI Doc: Or How I Became an Apocaloptimist. Plus, plenty of laughter, cocktails, and wonderfully unfiltered conversation. It’s funny, heartfelt, occasionally messy, and unmistakably Maria Van Cartier. Follow Maria Van Cartier: @dearmarianyc Learn more about Remember the Time: AskDearMaria.com Follow Steve V on IG: @iam_stevev Follow Kodi on IG: @mistahmaurice YouTube: YouTube.com/tagspodcast Instagram: @iam_stevev TikTok: @tagspodcast Read Steve V’s Substack, The Naked Truth: thenakedtruthsteve.substack.com Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

In this episode: • When Miguel first discovered his artistic voice • Celebrating the sensuality and diversity of men’s bodies • The line between erotic art, pornography, and fine art • Creating intimacy and trust between an artist and his subject • Body confidence, aging, vulnerability, and being truly seen • The importance of preserving queer sexuality through art • What Miguel saw—and captured—when he drew Steve It’s a revealing conversation about art, desire, masculinity, body image, and the courage it takes to make yourself the subject. Hot Topic: Dancing the Stars will now have two female contestants as a couple...is America ready for 2 Men? Hot Topic: Sexual Health Awareness month - we're talking about why it's important Hot Topic: Gunman kills two at Arizona gay bar.... Hot Topic: Two men are assaulted by 4 men still on the loose in Sacramento's Lavender Heights... Advice: When a guy admits to his new boyfriend he's hired escorts in the past... Follow Steve V's new Substack features weekly articles. 20% Off now through end of August! https://substack.com/@thenakedtruthsteve Follow our Special Guest Miguel Angel Reyes on IG: @miguelangelreyesart Follow Miguel on his Tumblr Follow Steve V on IG: @iam_stevev Follow Teddy Alexis on IG: @teddyalexis Follow Kodi on IG: @mistahmaurice Rate and Review us! Wanna drop a weekly or one time tip to TAGSPODCAST - Show your love for the show and support TAGS! Visit our website: tagspodcast.com Needs some advice for a sex or relationship conundrum? Ask TAGS! DM US ON IG or https://www.talkaboutgaysex.com/contact Follow Of a Certain Age on IG: @ofacertainagepod Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

In this episode: • Is the “top shortage” supported by real data? • Why are younger gay men more likely to identify as bottoms? • Do some men grow into topping as they gain confidence and experience? • Are there no tops—or simply no tops who meet every requirement? • The erection and performance pressure placed on tops • Why topping a partner can feel easier than topping a stranger • Porn, hookup apps, masculinity, and unrealistic sexual expectations • Can a soft top still deliver a great sexual experience? • Are top, bottom, and vers preferences—or identities? • Why expanding our definition of sex may benefit everyone So, where have all the tops gone? Maybe they haven’t gone anywhere. Maybe they’re nervous, overlooked, aging into the role—or waiting for gay men to stop treating every hookup like an audition. Hot Topic: Grindr is getting more expensive but will it push the 'hot' guys out? Hot Topic: MET cancels honoring John Galliano for May exhibition due to past antisemitic remarks... Hot Topic: Marc Jacobs talks openly about past 10 man orgy where alleged 'drug' use occurred... Hot Topic: Viral post on 'I came out 6 times this week'...Do gay men have to constantly come out? Hot Topic: Of course there was one celebrity, Ricky Schroeder had something to say about Dolly about her support for the Trans community... Follow Steve V's new Substack features weekly articles. 20% Off now through end of August! https://substack.com/@thenakedtruthsteve Follow Stevie on IG: @iam_stevev Follow Kodi on IG: @mistahmaurice Rate and Review us! Wanna drop a weekly or one time tip to TAGSPODCAST - Show your love for the show and support TAGS! Visit our website: tagspodcast.com Needs some advice for a sex or relationship conundrum? Ask TAGS! DM US ON IG or https://www.talkaboutgaysex.com/contact Follow Of a Certain Age on IG: @ofacertainagepod Follow TAGSPODCAST on Instagram and TikTok: @tagspodcast Follow Steve V.: @iam_stevev Watch and subscribe on YouTube: YouTube.com/TAGSPODCAST Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

In this episode: More hilariously vague Grindr phrases translated Why “not on here much” rarely means what it says The difference between losing interest and genuinely ghosting someone Why men initiate conversations they have no intention of continuing Whether apps provide validation even when no hookup happens The endless cycle of taps, photos, attention and disappearing Why possibility can feel more exciting than actually meeting App fatigue and the exhaustion of repetitive conversations When silence becomes disrespectful Whether brutal honesty is really better than no response Maybe sex isn’t what prevents gay men from forming meaningful connections. Maybe the real obstacle is how easily we’ve learned to treat one another as temporary squares on a screen. And remember: “Hey stranger” is not an apology. Hot Topic: Remembering Dolly and a Texas Federal judge blocks anti-drag ban while citing Dolly... Hot Topic: Tim Curry also dies the same day as Dolly who played the film version of Frank-N-Furter of 'Rocky Horror Picture Show". Hot Topic: Gay Georgia elects first Black, Gay Congressman Everton Blair Hot Topic: Good news for those living with HIV - a potential new weekly pill would replace daily pill... Advice: Do you try to not get emotionally attached to people... Thirst Trap: Which adult performer took the hottest shot of the week and why? Follow Steve V's new Substack features weekly articles. 20% Off now through end of August! https://substack.com/@thenakedtruthsteve Follow Stevie on IG: @iam_stevev Follow Kodi on IG: @mistahmaurice Rate and Review us! Wanna drop a weekly or one time tip to TAGSPODCAST - Show your love for the show and support TAGS! Visit our website: tagspodcast.com Needs some advice for a sex or relationship conundrum? Ask TAGS! DM US ON IG or https://www.talkaboutgaysex.com/contact Follow Of a Certain Age on IG: @ofacertainagepod Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

In this episode: What common Grindr bios are really trying to say “Just vibes” and the language of emotional ambiguity Why sincerity on dating apps can feel suspicious The appeal—and limitations—of a Gay No Sex Weekend - actual group in the UK.... Whether sex and emotional connection actually conflict The difference between removing sex and removing pressure How gay men have historically built community in sexual spaces Why clearer communication may matter more than stricter rules Maybe gay men don’t need fewer sexual spaces. Maybe we need sexual spaces where friendship, vulnerability, romance and connection are also allowed to exist. Hot Topic: Adult Performer Christian Styles dies at 29... Hot Topic: What is dopplebanger and is it toxic? Advice: Hooked up with couple a few times but are they 'friend zoning' me now...? Follow Steve V's new Substack features weekly articles. 20% Off now through end of August! https://substack.com/@thenakedtruthsteve Follow Stevie on IG: @iam_stevev Follow Kodi on IG: @mistahmaurice Rate and Review us! Wanna drop a weekly or one time tip to TAGSPODCAST - Show your love for the show and support TAGS! Visit our website: tagspodcast.com Needs some advice for a sex or relationship conundrum? Ask TAGS! DM US ON IG or https://www.talkaboutgaysex.com/contact Follow Of a Certain Age on IG: @ofacertainagepod Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Why Heated Rivalry delivers more than just steamy sex The irresistible fantasy of being sexually and emotionally obsessed with someone Why yearning may be hotter than hooking up Whether dating apps have made intense romance feel even more desirable Women enjoying gay male romance versus men consuming lesbian fantasy The difference between admiration, voyeurism and fetishization Fan art, Patreon, musicals and the expanding Heated Rivalry universe Whether pop culture has been suffering through an erotic drought Why audiences are craving sex, romance and vulnerability at the same time Maybe we aren’t merely horny for hockey players. Maybe we’re hungry for stories in which sex is fun, masculinity can be vulnerable, and the person you cannot stop wanting is also the person who cannot stop loving you. Listen now and decide: Is the hottest part the bodies, the sex, the secrecy, the rivalry, the yearning—or the love? Hot Topic: Heated Rivalry Box Set available for pre-order Hot Topic: Derek Chadwick ducks out of Goose app... Hot Topic: 21 most sexually liberal cities ranked! Plus Air France closes it's sauna due to activity... Hot Topic: Madonna leads VMA nominations! Thirst Trap: Who took the hottest shot of the week and why? Follow Steve V's new Substack and get 20% Off now through the end of August: Hot Gay Summer: https://tagspodcast.substack.com/2d41ff56 Follow Stevie on IG: @iam_stevev Follow Kodi on IG: @mistahmaurice Rate and Review us! Wanna drop a weekly or one time tip to TAGSPODCAST - Show your love for the show and support TAGS! Visit our website: tagspodcast.com Needs some advice for a sex or relationship conundrum? Ask TAGS! DM US ON IG or https://www.talkaboutgaysex.com/contact Follow Of a Certain Age on IG: @ofacertainagepod Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

When does being genuinely unsure about someone become stringing him along? Are we avoiding rejection—or simply avoiding an uncomfortable conversation? Why do we sometimes want someone more the minute they start pulling away? Can you have a roster of casual guys without actually benching anybody? Have dating apps conditioned us to constantly look for the next best thing? Is being slowly benched actually worse than being ghosted? And when you finally know someone isn't right for you, do you owe him the truth? It’s funny, revealing and occasionally uncomfortable as Steve, Jeremy and Kodi admit that when it comes to dating badly, most of us probably aren't completely innocent. Because sometimes the problem isn't the guy who put us on the bench. Sometimes we're the coach. Hot Topic: New Bathhouse in Birmingham, YUMBO offers both bar for LGBTQ plus upstairs bathhouse... Hot Topic: 'The 5-Minute Crush' - a online speed dating platform... Hot Topic: Boy George and now Geno Segers Spark are the latest to be fired from upcoming theater due to their controversial statements.... Advice: Is it weird that I don't get hard at a naked pool party when the guests become handsy? Follow Steve V's new Substack features weekly articles: https://substack.com/@thenakedtruthsteve Follow Stevie on IG: @iam_stevev Follow Jeremy on IG: @jrosslopez Follow Kodi on IG: @mistahmaurice Rate and Review us! Wanna drop a weekly or one time tip to TAGSPODCAST - Show your love for the show and support TAGS! Visit our website: tagspodcast.com Needs some advice for a sex or relationship conundrum? Ask TAGS! DM US ON IG or https://www.talkaboutgaysex.com/contact Follow Of a Certain Age on IG: @ofacertainagepod Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

In this episode: What do we actually mean when we talk about gay trauma? The lasting effects of growing up feeling different or unsafe Shame, rejection, bullying, and the closet How trauma can influence sex, dating, intimacy, and attachment Seeking validation through sex, attention, and relationships Recognizing survival behaviors we've carried into adulthood Why healing doesn't mean becoming less sexual or less adventurous Creating healthier connections without judging the choices that got us here Dan Werner's work helping gay men understand and move through trauma A thoughtful, revealing conversation about where our patterns come from—and what becomes possible when we finally understand them. Hot Topics and Advice! Follow Steve V's new Substack and get 20% Off now through the end of August: Hot Gay Summer: https://tagspodcast.substack.com/2d41ff56 Follow our Special Guest Dan Werner on IG: @dwerner3 Follow Stevie on IG: @iam_stevev Follow Kodi on IG: @mistahmaurice Rate and Review us! Wanna drop a weekly or one time tip to TAGSPODCAST - Show your love for the show and support TAGS! Visit our website: tagspodcast.com Needs some advice for a sex or relationship conundrum? Ask TAGS! DM US ON IG or https://www.talkaboutgaysex.com/contact Follow Of a Certain Age on IG: @ofacertainagepod Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

In this episode: • Leo energy, Lincoln and loving the spotlight • Why summer feels so damn sexual • Sex vs. validation: do we just want to be wanted? • Thirst traps, flirting and the erotic power of attention • Hot Gay Summer expectations—and sexual FOMO • Feeling sexy as we get older • Hookups, connection and end-of-summer reflection • The ultimate question: when nobody is looking, do you still feel desirable? Hot Topic: Bears in Ptown are on Ozempic and they don't know how they feel about it.... Advice: Approaching 40 and wondering if they will ever find a lasting longterm relationship... Follow Steve V's new Substack features weekly articles: https://substack.com/@thenakedtruthsteve Follow Stevie on IG: @iam_stevev Follow Lincoln on IG: @madlincoln Follow The Protein Bakery on IG: @proteinbakery Follow Kodi on IG: @mistahmaurice Rate and Review us! Wanna drop a weekly or one time tip to TAGSPODCAST - Show your love for the show and support TAGS! Visit our website: tagspodcast.com Needs some advice for a sex or relationship conundrum? Ask TAGS! DM US ON IG or https://www.talkaboutgaysex.com/contact Follow Of a Certain Age on IG: @ofacertainagepod Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.