Episode 39- When Closeness Becomes Codependence (Part 3)

Have you ever walked into a room and suddenly felt like everyone noticed what you were wearing? Maybe you stumbled over a word during a presentation, sent a text with a typo, spilled coffee on your shirt, or posted something online and spent the rest of the day wondering what everyone thought. But were people really paying that much attention?This experience is known as the spotlight effect, our tendency to overestimate how much other people notice our appearance, behavior, and mistakes.In this episode of Tabling Thoughts, I explore:What the spotlight effect is and why it happensWhy embarrassing moments feel much bigger to us than they do to othersHow self-consciousness affects the way we interpret social situationsWhy social media can intensify the feeling of being watched and judgedHow understanding the spotlight effect can help reduce overthinking and social anxietyThe reality is that most people are far more focused on themselves than they are on us. Sometimes the spotlight we feel isn’t coming from the room around us, it’s coming from our own mind.Link to Reflect and Colour Book by Solmaz BarghgirSetting Boundaries WorkshopThe Miracle of Meditation to Overcome FearSelf Steam CourseRelationship CourseStress CourseSolmaz LinkedIn Copyright Notice: All rights to this podcast and its content are exclusively owned by Solmaz Barghigr. This content is legally protected, and any unauthorized downloading, reproduction, or redistribution may have legal consequences. If you wish to share an episode, please do so only by sharing the official link from the platform where you are listening (such as Spotify, YouTube, Castbox, Buzzsprout, Apple Podcasts)Music:Song: Retro Groove (Upbeat Fun Retro)_ Main VersionLicense: Individual License, Commercial, APRA/AMCOSComposer: Henrique Tavares Dib - APRA IPI: 00611600895Email: [email protected]_Barghgir_Coach InstagramTabling Thoughts InstagramLam Ta Kalaam CastBoxLam Ta Kalaam Apple PodcastWebsite:   www.barghgir.comYouTube:  https://youtube.com/@solmazbarghgir#SpotlightEffect #Overthinking #SelfConsciousness #Psychology

Have you ever been absolutely convinced something was true, only to discover later that none of it actually happened? Our minds are constantly interpreting reality, filling in gaps, making assumptions, and creating stories. Sometimes those stories protect us. Other times, they fuel anxiety, misunderstandings, self-doubt, and unnecessary conflict.In this episode, I discuss:* Why our brains create stories* How assumptions shape our emotions and behavior* The connection between thoughts, emotions, and reality* Why we often believe our thoughts without questioning them* Practical ways to recognize when your mind is telling a story instead of the truthLearning to separate facts from the stories we create is one of the most powerful skills for improving our relationships, reducing anxiety, and understanding ourselves more deeply.Link to Reflect and Colour Book by Solmaz BarghgirSetting Boundaries WorkshopThe Miracle of Meditation to Overcome FearSelf Steam CourseRelationship CourseStress CourseSolmaz LinkedIn Copyright Notice: All rights to this podcast and its content are exclusively owned by Solmaz Barghigr. This content is legally protected, and any unauthorized downloading, reproduction, or redistribution may have legal consequences. If you wish to share an episode, please do so only by sharing the official link from the platform where you are listening (such as Spotify, YouTube, Castbox, Buzzsprout, Apple Podcasts)Music:Song: Retro Groove (Upbeat Fun Retro)_ Main VersionLicense: Individual License, Commercial, APRA/AMCOSComposer: Henrique Tavares Dib - APRA IPI: 00611600895Email: [email protected]_Barghgir_Coach InstagramTabling Thoughts InstagramLam Ta Kalaam CastBoxLam Ta Kalaam Apple PodcastWebsite:   www.barghgir.comYouTube:  https://youtube.com/@solmazbarghgir#Mindset #SelfAwareness #Psychology #MentalHealth

What actually happens emotionally after repeated white lies? Are they really harmless, or do they slowly weaken the foundation of trust in a relationship?In Episode 45 of Tabling Thoughts, I dive deeper into the psychological impact of white lies and explore how seemingly small acts of dishonesty can create emotional distance over time.In this episode, I discuss:* The emotional consequences of repeated white lies* How small lies gradually damage trust and intimacy* The psychological difference between privacy and secrecy* Why people continue to justify white lies* Whether trust can truly be rebuilt after repeated dishonestyThis is Part 2 of our conversation on white lies. Episode 44 explores the foundations, what white lies are, why people tell them, and how they become normalized in relationships. This episode builds on that discussion by examining their deeper emotional impact and what they mean for long-term trust.For the complete picture, I highly recommend listening to both Episode 44 and Episode 45.Link to Reflect and Colour Book by Solmaz BarghgirSetting Boundaries WorkshopThe Miracle of Meditation to Overcome FearSelf Steam CourseRelationship CourseStress CourseSolmaz LinkedIn Copyright Notice: All rights to this podcast and its content are exclusively owned by Solmaz Barghigr. This content is legally protected, and any unauthorized downloading, reproduction, or redistribution may have legal consequences. If you wish to share an episode, please do so only by sharing the official link from the platform where you are listening (such as Spotify, YouTube, Castbox, Buzzsprout, Apple Podcasts)Music:Song: Retro Groove (Upbeat Fun Retro)_ Main VersionLicense: Individual License, Commercial, APRA/AMCOSComposer: Henrique Tavares Dib - APRA IPI: 00611600895Email: [email protected]_Barghgir_Coach InstagramTabling Thoughts InstagramLam Ta Kalaam CastBoxLam Ta Kalaam Apple PodcastWebsite:   www.barghgir.comYouTube:  https://youtube.com/@solmazbarghgir

What are white lies? Are they really harmless, or can they slowly damage trust and emotional safety in relationships? In Episode 44 of Tabling Thoughts, I explore the psychology behind white lies, why people tell them, how they justify them, and why even small lies can become emotionally complicated over time.In this episode, I talk about:• What white lies actually are• Why people feel the need to hide small truths• The emotional impact of “harmless” lies• How white lies affect trust and communication• The difference between protection and avoidanceSometimes people lie to avoid conflict, protect feelings, or keep the peace.But over time, even small dishonesty can create emotional distance, confusion, and mistrust in relationships. If you’ve ever wondered whether honesty always matters in relationships, this episode offers a deeper and more nuanced perspective.Link to Reflect and Colour Book by Solmaz BarghgirSetting Boundaries WorkshopThe Miracle of Meditation to Overcome FearSelf Steam CourseRelationship CourseStress CourseSolmaz LinkedIn Copyright Notice: All rights to this podcast and its content are exclusively owned by Solmaz Barghigr. This content is legally protected, and any unauthorized downloading, reproduction, or redistribution may have legal consequences. If you wish to share an episode, please do so only by sharing the official link from the platform where you are listening (such as Spotify, YouTube, Castbox, Buzzsprout, Apple Podcasts)Music:Song: Retro Groove (Upbeat Fun Retro)_ Main VersionLicense: Individual License, Commercial, APRA/AMCOSComposer: Henrique Tavares Dib - APRA IPI: 00611600895Email: [email protected]_Barghgir_Coach InstagramTabling Thoughts InstagramLam Ta Kalaam CastBoxLam Ta Kalaam Apple PodcastWebsite:   www.barghgir.comYouTube:  https://youtube.com/@solmazbarghgir

You finally set a boundary. You say no. You choose yourself. And then the guilt shows up. In episode 43 of Tabling Thoughts, I talk about the part of boundary-setting almost no one prepares you for: what happens after you finally say no. I explore why guilt appears right after self-respect, why we replay conversations and over-explain our needs, and why disappointing others can feel more dangerous than abandoning ourselves. This episode isn’t about blaming you. It’s about understanding the patterns that taught us love means disappearing, and learning how to stay with ourselves after choosing ourselves. If you struggle with guilt, people-pleasing, or emotional self-abandonment, this episode is for you. Listen on YouTube, Castbox, Apple Podcasts, and Spotify.Link to Reflect and Colour Book by Solmaz BarghgirSetting Boundaries WorkshopThe Miracle of Meditation to Overcome FearSelf Steam CourseRelationship CourseStress CourseSolmaz LinkedIn Copyright Notice: All rights to this podcast and its content are exclusively owned by Solmaz Barghigr. This content is legally protected, and any unauthorized downloading, reproduction, or redistribution may have legal consequences. If you wish to share an episode, please do so only by sharing the official link from the platform where you are listening (such as Spotify, YouTube, Castbox, Buzzsprout, Apple Podcasts)Music:Song: Retro Groove (Upbeat Fun Retro)_ Main VersionLicense: Individual License, Commercial, APRA/AMCOSComposer: Henrique Tavares Dib - APRA IPI: 00611600895Email: [email protected]_Barghgir_Coach InstagramTabling Thoughts InstagramLam Ta Kalaam CastBoxLam Ta Kalaam Apple PodcastWebsite:   www.barghgir.comYouTube:  https://youtube.com/@solmazbarghgir

In this episode of Tabling Thoughts, we explore why setting boundaries can feel so uncomfortable even when we know they’re necessary. Have you ever said yes while every part of you was screaming no? Do you catch yourself carrying other people’s emotions as if they’re your responsibility? Or feel like the “bad person” the moment you try to protect your own peace?In Part 2 of our boundary series, I unpack what’s actually happening in your mind and body when you override yourself, why guilt shows up so strongly, and how you can begin building boundaries that are compassionate, firm, and aligned with your wellbeing.Link to Reflect and Colour Book by Solmaz BarghgirSetting Boundaries WorkshopThe Miracle of Meditation to Overcome FearSelf Steam CourseRelationship CourseStress CourseSolmaz LinkedIn Copyright Notice: All rights to this podcast and its content are exclusively owned by Solmaz Barghigr. This content is legally protected, and any unauthorized downloading, reproduction, or redistribution may have legal consequences. If you wish to share an episode, please do so only by sharing the official link from the platform where you are listening (such as Spotify, YouTube, Castbox, Buzzsprout, Apple Podcasts)Music:Song: Retro Groove (Upbeat Fun Retro)_ Main VersionLicense: Individual License, Commercial, APRA/AMCOSComposer: Henrique Tavares Dib - APRA IPI: 00611600895Email: [email protected]_Barghgir_Coach InstagramTabling Thoughts InstagramLam Ta Kalaam CastBoxLam Ta Kalaam Apple PodcastWebsite:   www.barghgir.comYouTube:  https://youtube.com/@solmazbarghgir

In this episode of Tabling Thoughts, I talk about one of the most essential elements of emotional wellbeing: boundaries. I break down what boundaries really are, what they mean in our relationships, and why understanding them is the first step toward healthier connections. This is just Part One.In the next episode, I’ll dive into why setting boundaries can feel so difficult and how we can begin to implement them in practical, compassionate ways. Stay tuned! there’s so much more to uncover.Link to Reflect and Colour Book by Solmaz BarghgirSetting Boundaries WorkshopThe Miracle of Meditation to Overcome FearSelf Steam CourseRelationship CourseStress CourseSolmaz LinkedIn Copyright Notice: All rights to this podcast and its content are exclusively owned by Solmaz Barghigr. This content is legally protected, and any unauthorized downloading, reproduction, or redistribution may have legal consequences. If you wish to share an episode, please do so only by sharing the official link from the platform where you are listening (such as Spotify, YouTube, Castbox, Buzzsprout, Apple Podcasts)Music:Song: Retro Groove (Upbeat Fun Retro)_ Main VersionLicense: Individual License, Commercial, APRA/AMCOSComposer: Henrique Tavares Dib - APRA IPI: 00611600895Email: [email protected]_Barghgir_Coach InstagramTabling Thoughts InstagramLam Ta Kalaam CastBoxLam Ta Kalaam Apple PodcastWebsite:   www.barghgir.comYouTube:  https://youtube.com/@solmazbarghgir

Have you ever wondered if your relationship is nourishing you or quietly draining you? Closeness gives energy. Codependence erases you. In this Episode of the Tabling Thoughts podcast, I’ll show you how to recognize the difference and how to build love that feels like freedom, not obligation. This is part 3, stay tuned for the next episode and make sure you've listened to part 1,2, and 3.Link to Reflect and Colour Book by Solmaz BarghgirSetting Boundaries WorkshopThe Miracle of Meditation to Overcome FearSelf Steam CourseRelationship CourseStress CourseSolmaz LinkedIn Copyright Notice: All rights to this podcast and its content are exclusively owned by Solmaz Barghigr. This content is legally protected, and any unauthorized downloading, reproduction, or redistribution may have legal consequences. If you wish to share an episode, please do so only by sharing the official link from the platform where you are listening (such as Spotify, YouTube, Castbox, Buzzsprout, Apple Podcasts)Music:Song: Retro Groove (Upbeat Fun Retro)_ Main VersionLicense: Individual License, Commercial, APRA/AMCOSComposer: Henrique Tavares Dib - APRA IPI: 00611600895Email: [email protected]_Barghgir_Coach InstagramTabling Thoughts InstagramLam Ta Kalaam CastBoxLam Ta Kalaam Apple PodcastWebsite:   www.barghgir.comYouTube:  https://youtube.com/@solmazbarghgir

Have you ever wondered if your relationship is nourishing you or quietly draining you? Closeness gives energy. Codependence erases you. In this Episode of the Tabling Thoughts podcast, I’ll show you how to recognize the difference and how to build love that feels like freedom, not obligation. This is part 3, stay tuned for the next episode and make sure you've listened to part 1 and 2.Link to Reflect and Colour Book by Solmaz BarghgirSetting Boundaries WorkshopThe Miracle of Meditation to Overcome FearSelf Steam CourseRelationship CourseStress CourseSolmaz LinkedIn Copyright Notice: All rights to this podcast and its content are exclusively owned by Solmaz Barghigr. This content is legally protected, and any unauthorized downloading, reproduction, or redistribution may have legal consequences. If you wish to share an episode, please do so only by sharing the official link from the platform where you are listening (such as Spotify, YouTube, Castbox, Buzzsprout, Apple Podcasts)Music:Song: Retro Groove (Upbeat Fun Retro)_ Main VersionLicense: Individual License, Commercial, APRA/AMCOSComposer: Henrique Tavares Dib - APRA IPI: 00611600895Email: [email protected]_Barghgir_Coach InstagramTabling Thoughts InstagramLam Ta Kalaam CastBoxLam Ta Kalaam Apple PodcastWebsite:   www.barghgir.comYouTube:  https://youtube.com/@solmazbarghgir

Have you ever wondered if your relationship is nourishing you or quietly draining you? Closeness gives energy. Codependence erases you. In this Episode of the Tabling Thoughts podcast, I’ll show you how to recognize the difference and how to build love that feels like freedom, not obligation. This is part 2, stay tuned for the next episode and make sure you've listened to part 1.Link to Reflect and Colour Book by Solmaz BarghgirSetting Boundaries WorkshopThe Miracle of Meditation to Overcome FearSelf Steam CourseRelationship CourseStress CourseSolmaz LinkedIn Copyright Notice: All rights to this podcast and its content are exclusively owned by Solmaz Barghigr. This content is legally protected, and any unauthorized downloading, reproduction, or redistribution may have legal consequences. If you wish to share an episode, please do so only by sharing the official link from the platform where you are listening (such as Spotify, YouTube, Castbox, Buzzsprout, Apple Podcasts)Music:Song: Retro Groove (Upbeat Fun Retro)_ Main VersionLicense: Individual License, Commercial, APRA/AMCOSComposer: Henrique Tavares Dib - APRA IPI: 00611600895Email: [email protected]_Barghgir_Coach InstagramTabling Thoughts InstagramLam Ta Kalaam CastBoxLam Ta Kalaam Apple PodcastWebsite:   www.barghgir.comYouTube:  https://youtube.com/@solmazbarghgir