Why Are We Still Doing That? – Enough Feeling Shame About Building The Life You Want

Is Changing Your Mind a Sign of Weakness or a Mark of Growth?In a culture that prizes being "resolute," we often treat our decisions as final – even when they no longer serve us. Kent and Caanan break down why changing your mind isn't about being flaky; it’s about clarity, discernment, and the fluidity required to build a life you don't need a break from.From analyzing "boxed-in" opinions on social media to navigating major career pivots, this episode explores how to remain open to new information in an increasingly polarized world. Whether you are rethinking a New Year’s resolution or a long-term professional track, learn why the ability to pivot is one of the smartest moves you can make.CHAPTERS:(00:00) Why are we still doing that?(01:00) Mind Share: Year-end "Best of" lists and the art of 2025(03:17) The fluidity of changing your mind(06:00) The "Flip-Flopper" myth(10:15) Escaping the trap of "boxed-in" opinions(14:20) Growth vs. Cult Mindsets: The power of new information(20:00) Changing your mind on careers, school, and resolutions(22:00) Worth the Time: After the Hunt movie review (Julia Roberts & Andrew Garfield)KEY TAKEAWAYS:• Clarity over Confusion: Changing your mind based on new data is a sign of paying attention, not a lack of conviction.• The "Resolute" Trap: Being "belligerently resolute" is often just a refusal to grow.• Career Pivots: How to feel comfortable changing direction to avoid long-term disasters in the wrong field. RESOURCES MENTIONED:YouFinder Personality and Strengths Assessment: https://novacationrequired.com/services⁠SUPPORT NO VACATION REQUIREDIf this episode helped you rethink a tough decision, please leave a review on Apple Spotify or Apple Podcasts! It is the best way to help our message reach more people.• Subscribe: Never miss an episode by hitting the follow button on Spotify or Apple Podcasts• Check out our website: https://novacationrequired.com/services• Read our book: https://novacationrequired.com/book• Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/novacationrequired/

Why are we still not recycling what works?In a world that obsessively rewards the "new," we often feel pressured to constantly reinvent the wheel. Kent and Caanan challenge the idea that innovation is always the answer. They explain why real progress isn't about constant upheaval ; it’s about "recycling" the habits, routines, and systems that already deliver results.From debunking the social pressure to perform constant change to sharing personal stories about why even "basic" travel destinations like Italy are worth a repeat visit, this episode explores how a solid core routine provides the foundation for meaningful growth. Whether you are struggling with decision fatigue or looking to build lasting momentum, learn why sticking with what works is often the smartest move you can make.CHAPTERS:(00:00) Why are we still not recycling?(00:59) Mind Share: The "No Contact" conversation and Oprah’s latest podcast(03:58)The "Change Guys" and the myth of constant innovation(05:31) Building a core life: The stability of nutrition and fitness(07:05) The danger of "shaking things up" just for the sake of turmoil(09:02) Why there is no social currency in consistency(10:41) Lessons from Italy and Hawaii: Why "popular" is worth recycling(13:21) Lessons from Seattle: Stop trying to be "novel" with established systems(16:03) A simple tip for reviewing your week(16:33) Worth the Time: Oprah’s podcast on going "No Contact"KEY TAKEAWAYS:• Consistency as a Catalyst: Maintaining a core routine frees up the mental space and willpower needed to iterate in other areas of your life.• The "New" Trap: Society often fails to acknowledge or reward consistency, leading people to abandon effective habits just to avoid looking stagnant.• Purposeful Repetition: True momentum comes from reusing what is effective and repeating it with intention rather than chasing a counterproductive conclusion.RESOURCES MENTIONED:• YouFinder Personality and Strengths Assessment: ⁠https://novacationrequired.com/services⁠⁠• Podcast Mentioned: https://youtu.be/cK7EJgILMIk?si=3_kInz23xrMK6KMBSUPPORT NO VACATION REQUIREDIf this episode helped you appreciate the routines that are already working for you, please leave a review on Spotify or Apple Podcasts! It is the best way to help our message reach more people.• Subscribe: Never miss an episode by hitting the follow button on Spotify or Apple Podcasts• Check out our website: https://novacationrequired.com/services• Read our book: https://novacationrequired.com/book• Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/novacationrequired/

Stop Waiting for January 1st: The Power of Immediate ChangeWhy do we wait for an arbitrary date on the calendar to start bettering our lives? Kent and Caanan challenge the tradition of New Year’s resolutions, exploring how "waiting for the right time" is often just a sophisticated form of procrastination. They break down the science and psychology of change — from the pressure of "perfection" to the freedom of iterative growth — to help you move from contemplation to action today.From navigating a world filled with collective anger to leveraging your unique personality for personal growth, this episode provides a roadmap for shifting your energy right now. Whether you are looking to start a small health habit or a major life pivot, learn why fluidity and self-knowledge are your greatest tools for building a life you don't need a break from. CHAPTERS:(00:00) Why are we still doing that?(01:02) Mind Share: Navigating a culture of anger and grumpiness(03:45) The New Year's Resolution trap(06:14) Why we use dates to delay progress(09:44) Removing the pressure: Change as an iteration, not a test(11:44) The Change Process: Pre-contemplation and readiness(14:19) Personality Power: Using your "makeup" to optimize change(18:57) Worth the Time: Upbeat music and heavy-hitting whistle-blower books KEY TAKEAWAYS:• Action over Arbitrary Dates: Real progress begins when you decide a change is worthwhile, not because the Earth has completed an orbit.• The Fluidity of Change: View change as a "test and learn" process rather than a high-pressure commitment that defines you as a failure if you pivot.• Know Your Design: Understanding your personality type is the most effective way to determine how you should approach new goals and habits. RESOURCES MENTIONED:• YouFinder Personality and Strengths Assessment: ⁠https://novacationrequired.com/services⁠⁠• Books: No More Tears (Johnson & Johnson) and Careless People (Meta/Facebook) SUPPORT NO VACATION REQUIRED:If this episode helped you rethink a tough decision, please leave a review on Apple Spotify or Apple Podcasts! It is the best way to help our message reach more people.• Subscribe: Never miss an episode by hitting the follow button on Spotify or Apple Podcasts• Check out our website: ⁠https://novacationrequired.com/services⁠• Read our book: ⁠https://novacationrequired.com/book⁠• Follow us on Instagram: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/novacationrequired/

Protecting Your Peace: The Art of Curating Your JoyWhy do we allow external forces — from holiday obligations to social media drama — to dictate our moods and steal our joy? Kent and Caanan dive into the "passive misery" often accepted during the holiday season and challenge the tradition of staying loyal to situations that no longer serve us. They explore the tools needed to build resilience and choose fulfillment by viewing life through the lens of a curator.From understanding the "negativity bias" of the brain to shifting the way we view obligation, this episode provides a psychological roadmap for protecting your peace. Learn how to use positive psychology to broaden your awareness and why being highly selective with your energy is the key to building a life you don't need a break from. CHAPTERS: (00:00) Why are we still doing that?(01:21) Mind Share: Challenging holiday platitudes and "joy-stealing" advice(04:02) The holiday stress trap and fractured relationships(04:59) Evolution of selection: From holiday "running around" to selective travel(07:42) Living Deliberately: Curating your life like an art exhibit(10:46) Negativity Bias: Why our brains focus on the cracks(15:28) Positive Psychology: Flourishing despite the "unpleasant"(22:51) Worth the Time: The power of a specific gratitude journal KEY TAKEAWAYS: • You Are the Curator: Your life is a gallery that you have the authority to manage, which involves both "culling" things that diminish your joy and being "additive" by bringing in what fulfills you.• The Cost of Poor Curation: Staying in unhealthy situations out of obligation often perpetuates problems; doing what works for you gives the relationship a better chance of functioning for everyone involved.• Broaden and Build: Positive emotions like joy and gratitude broaden your awareness, making you more creative and better at connecting with others.• The Five-Person Audit: Examine the five people you spend the most time with and prioritize those who leave you feeling better than when you arrived. RESOURCES MENTIONED:• YouFinder Personality and Strengths Assessment: https://novacationrequired.com/services• Practice: Gratitude Journaling (focused on specificity) SUPPORT NO VACATION REQUIRED: If this episode helped you reclaim your peace, please leave a review on Spotify or Apple Podcasts! It is the best way to help our message reach more people.• Subscribe: Never miss an episode by hitting the follow button on Spotify or Apple Podcasts• Check out our website: ⁠⁠https://novacationrequired.com/services⁠⁠• Read our book: ⁠⁠https://novacationrequired.com/book⁠⁠• Follow us on Instagram: ⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/novacationrequired/

The Power of Quitting: Breaking Free from the "Stick With It" TrapWhy do we treat quitting as a dirty word? From cultural programming that labels quitters as "losers" to the identity shame that keeps us stuck in toxic environments, Kent and Caanan tackle the deep-seated stigma around walking away. They explore why we stay in situations way past their expiration dates – whether it’s a job, a relationship, or even a book club – and how to reclaim quitting as an act of self-trust and alignment.Drawing on personal stories of navigating layoffs and hostile work environments, the guys break down the "sunk cost" mindset and the social pressures that keep us small. Learn how to build your "quitting muscles" through micro-quits, how to support others in their transitions, and why staying unhappy is never a noble sacrifice. CHAPTERS: (00:00) The cultural stigma of quitting(00:25) Mind Share: Cozy season in Seattle and the silence of Taylor Swift(05:52) Navigating layoffs and the vulnerability of the workforce(09:52) A story of standing your ground at work(12:12) Refusing to play by the old rules(14:45) Logistics, sunk costs, and the "good girl" myth(19:08) Practicing micro-quits and body signals(23:06) Validating clarity over groupthink(25:42) Why staying unhappy isn't noble(26:44) Worth the Time: Breaking up with identities and expectations KEY TAKEAWAYS: • Staying Unhappy is Not Noble: Many of us were raised to believe that enduring misery is a sign of character, but sacrificing your well-being for a situation that doesn't serve you is not a virtue.• The Sunk Cost Fallacy: Putting time and energy into something is not a legitimate reason to stay if the situation has become unhealthy or stagnant.• Practice "Micro-Quits": Build your confidence by opting out of small obligations that drain you– declining an invitation or leaving a party early – to prepare for the bigger life shifts.• Growth vs. Depletion: Learn to distinguish between the healthy discomfort that leads to personal growth and the soul-crushing misery that leads to total depletion. RESOURCES MENTIONED: • YouFinder Personality and Strengths Assessment: https://novacationrequired.com/services• Book: All the Cool Girls Get Fired by Emily Tisch Sussman and Tiana Lowe• Practice: Body Signal Check-in (Identifying dread, exhaustion, or resentment) SUPPORT NO VACATION REQUIRED: If this episode gave you the permission you needed to walk away from what no longer serves you, please leave a review on Spotify or Apple Podcasts!• Subscribe: Never miss an episode by hitting the follow button on Spotify or Apple Podcasts• Check out our website: ⁠⁠https://novacationrequired.com/services⁠⁠• Read our book: ⁠⁠https://novacationrequired.com/book⁠⁠• Follow us on Instagram: ⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/novacationrequired/

Breaking the Cycle: Embracing a Free Agent Mindset Why are we still being universally loyal to jobs that don't inspire us and companies that treat us like numbers? Kent and Caanan dive into the psychology of blind loyalty, exploring how fear of change and "FOMO" keep us stuck in programs and professions that no longer reward us. They challenge the "quaint" idea of corporate loyalty in the era of late stage capitalism, offering a roadmap for transitioning from a mindless participant to an empowered free agent.From auditing your streaming services to navigating the "social engineering" of airline elite status, this episode provides a guide for bringing mindfulness to your commitments. Whether you are dealing with the aftermath of a layoff or simply feeling drained by a one sided relationship, learn how to accurately recognize your motivations and align your actions with what truly matters. CHAPTERS: (00:00) The high cost of blind loyalty(00:42) Mind Share: Finding gratitude during a government shutdown(02:10) Late stage capitalism and the decline of earned loyalty(03:18) The Travel Trap: When elite status stops delivering(07:53) Social Engineering: The "pre boarding" illusion(08:53) The Corporate Reality: Identity, layoffs, and the "marketing" of handbooks(14:52) Practicing the Free Agent Mindset in daily life(15:46) The Loyalty Audit: Streaming services and mindless autopilot(21:07) Worth the Time: Concept albums and brutal breakup music KEY TAKEAWAYS: The Free Agent Mentality: Adopting a "free agent" mindset is about being mindful and recognizing when a program, job, or relationship is no longer serving your best interests.Audit Your Commitments: Regularly perform a "mindfulness audit" on your spending and benefits to ensure you aren't staying loyal simply because of marketing or the "idea" of a service.Corporate Realism: Understand that modern corporations are beholden to shareholders and often cannot be loyal to individuals; bring this awareness to your career to avoid being blindsided by industry shifts. RESOURCES MENTIONED: • Album: West End Girl by Lily Allen• YouFinder Personality and Strengths Assessment: ⁠⁠https://novacationrequired.com/services⁠⁠ SUPPORT NO VACATION REQUIRED: If this episode helped you rethink a tough decision, please leave a review on Spotify or Apple Podcasts! It is the best way to help our message reach more people.• Subscribe: Never miss an episode by hitting the follow button on Spotify or Apple Podcasts• Check out our website: ⁠⁠https://novacationrequired.com/services⁠⁠• Read our book: ⁠⁠https://novacationrequired.com/book⁠⁠• Follow us on Instagram: ⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/novacationrequired/

Why Are We Still Mind Reading? The Path to Genuine Connection Why do we often attempt to read minds instead of simply asking a question? Kent and Caanan dive into the "why" behind our reliance on assumptions. They explore how mind reading is frequently a byproduct of fear – fear of confrontation, rejection, or vulnerability –and how these guesses create avoidable drama in both our personal and professional lives.The duo shares how their own relationship was transformed by moving away from assumptions and toward an understanding of personality motivations. They discuss the development of their "TwoFinder" tool, designed to help coworkers and couples stop centering other people's behaviors in their own experiences and start seeing things from a different perspective. From global cultural dynamics to the pitfalls of hyper-individualism, this episode offers a guide on how to replace a network of guessing with clarity and compassion. CHAPTERS: (00:00) Why are we still doing that?(01:00) Mindshare: The importance of off-cycle elections and voting by mail(04:23) Why are we still mind reading?(06:00) Moving from assumptions to insight(09:13) Personality vs. Personal slights: Lessons from Kent and Caanan’s early life(12:00) Global perspectives: Cultural rules vs. global workplace dialogue(14:34) Overcoming hyper-individualism to build connection(19:00) Practical tools: How to "just ask"(20:33) Worth the Time: High-stakes documentaries and the "all figured out" trap KEY TAKEAWAYS: • Ask, Don't Guess: The truest path to understanding and connection is direct inquiry rather than attempting to read someone's mind.• Personality isn't Personal: Many behaviors we perceive as slights are actually just reflections of a person's unique personality and motivation.• The Cost of Mind Reading: Relying on assumptions robs both parties of empathy and is a primary cause of workplace and familial drama. RESOURCES MENTIONED: • Personality and Strengths Assessments for Individuals and Partnerships: https://novacationrequired.com/services• Documentary: Unknown Number: The High School Catfish (Netflix) SUPPORT NO VACATION REQUIRED: If this episode helped you rethink a tough decision, please leave a review on Spotify or Apple Podcasts! It is the best way to help our message reach more people.• Subscribe: Never miss an episode by hitting the follow button on Spotify or Apple Podcasts• Check out our website: ⁠⁠https://novacationrequired.com/services⁠⁠• Read our book: ⁠⁠https://novacationrequired.com/book⁠⁠• Follow us on Instagram: ⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/novacationrequired/

Stop Centering Yourself: The Cure for Habitual Naysaying Why have so many people become habitually critical? Kent and Caanan dive into the cycle of constant rejection and the insecurity that often fuels a negative mindset. By examining a recent "call out" they received regarding their stance on traditional life paths, they explore why we tend to center ourselves in stories that have nothing to do with us.From the viral "bean soup" phenomenon to the science of positive psychology, this episode offers a guide on how to shift from a defensive posture to an "upward spiral" of curiosity and joy. Learn how to protect your energy by knowing when to care, when to let go, and how to authentically celebrate the choices of others — even when they look nothing like your own. CHAPTERS: (00:00) Why are we still doing that?(01:03) Mindshare: Beautiful October weather and the "big leap" to the iPhone 17 Pro(04:09) The Naysaying epidemic: Why we critique what we can't control(06:28) Getting "Called Out": Addressing the bias against traditional paths(12:38) The "Bean Soup" Effect: The problem with centering yourself(16:02) Mindful Positivity: The brain science of the upward spiral(21:40) The Coaching Trick: "I'm glad that makes you happy"(22:41) Worth the Time: Seattle’s Museum of Flight and beaded weapons of war KEY TAKEAWAYS: • Mindful vs. Toxic Positivity: Applying positive emotions like joy and curiosity is a physiological tool to undo stress and increase resilience.• Stop the Self-Centering: Recognizing that someone else’s recipe, podcast, or lifestyle choice is not a referendum on your own life allows you to save your energy for things that actually matter.• The Upward Spiral: Practicing a "that’s great" attitude toward others' happiness creates a virtuous cycle that benefits your own mental well-being. RESOURCES MENTIONED: • Museum of Flight (Seattle): The world's largest independent non-profit air and space museum.• The MiG-21 Project: A multidisciplinary exhibit by South African artist Ralph Ziman featuring beaded weapons of war.• No Vacation Required Services: https://novacationrequired.com/services SUPPORT NO VACATION REQUIRED: If this episode helped you rethink how you engage with the world, please leave a review on Spotify or Apple Podcasts! It is the best way to help our message reach more people.• Subscribe: Never miss an episode by hitting the follow button on Spotify or Apple Podcasts.• Check out our website: https://novacationrequired.com/services• Read our book: https://novacationrequired.com/book• Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/novacationrequired/

Building and Broadcasting the Life You Want: Breaking the Silence on Unconventional Joy Why do we feel the need to hide or justify our happiness when it doesn't look like everyone else's? Kent and Caanan explore the awkward reality of "social censorship" and the ripples created when you build a life centered on what you actually value. From the pressure to complain about your partner to the collective obsession with "striving," they dismantle the unwritten rules that keep us from being honest about our successes.Whether you are navigating the "dream of the planet" or already forging your own path, this episode dives into how to handle the inevitable pushback from others and why finding your own "contrarian" circle is essential. Learn why knowing yourself is the ultimate investment and how to become a person who celebrates unconventional courage in others. CHAPTERS: (00:00) Why are we still doing that?(01:05) Mind Share: The "Disneyfication" of nostalgia and the value of old-school presence(06:13) Why we are ashamed of building the life we want(09:03) The Relationship Lottery: Defending the decision to spend time together(11:47) Why happy decisions aren't always celebrated(13:39) Breaking the Schema: The pool conversation and the "social currency" of struggle(18:44) Finding the Shift: Surrounding yourself with contrarian content and people(23:53) Worth the Time: Hidden messages in the horror movie Weapons KEY TAKEAWAYS: • The Success Referendum: Understand that your positive life changes often act as a mirror for others' insecurities. Don't let their discomfort dictate your broadcast.• Be Whiskey, Not Water: Stop trying to appeal to everyone. If your life is "muted" enough to please the masses, it probably isn't authentic to who you are.• Know Your Design: The most effective catalyst for change is deep self-knowledge. Once you understand your own makeup, you can no longer tolerate being confined by the world's expectations. RESOURCES MENTIONED: • YouFinder Personality and Strengths Assessment: ⁠⁠https://novacationrequired.com/services⁠⁠⁠• Movie: Weapons (starring Julia Garner) SUPPORT NO VACATION REQUIRED: If this episode helped you rethink a tough decision, please leave a review on Spotify or Apple Podcasts! It is the best way to help our message reach more people.• Subscribe: Never miss an episode by hitting the follow button on Spotify or Apple Podcasts• Check out our website: ⁠⁠https://novacationrequired.com/services⁠⁠• Read our book: ⁠⁠https://novacationrequired.com/book⁠⁠• Follow us on Instagram: ⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/novacationrequired/⁠

Reclaiming the Lead: Why We Can’t Sit Out a Changing World Why are we still sitting things out while the world is fundamentally shifting? In this relaunch episode of the No Vacation Required podcast, Kent and Caanan interrogate their own version of a "no vacation required" life to meet the current moment. They discuss the responsibility of those with flexibility to lead by example and why personal fulfillment is a critical tool for showing up in a complicated, turbulent world.From the moral decision to leave Substack to the power of returning to your core strengths when systems feel like they are collapsing, this episode serves as a call to action. Learn how to declutter your brain by writing down what you know and why your relationships and personal growth are the best investments you can make during times of uncertainty. CHAPTERS: (00:00) Why are we still doing that?(01:21) Mindshare: A relaunch(05:41) The Question: Why are we sitting things out when everything is changing?(08:12) The Substack Decision: Aligning business moves with values(16:55) The Responsibility of Freedom: Showing up for a world that needs you(19:19) Practical Steps: Writing down what you know to move forward(21:11) The NVR Change Philosophy: A framework for growth(23:10) Finding Your Strengths: Relationship resilience and intuition(28:34) Worth the Time: Provocative reading on resisting harmful systems KEY TAKEAWAYS: • The Duty of Flexibility: If you have built a life of freedom and flexibility, you have a unique responsibility to use that capacity to help others and resist destructive systems.• Inventory of Truth: When the world feels overwhelming, the most effective way to move forward is to slow down and write down exactly what you know to be true about yourself and your values.• Relationship as Armor: A strong, connected relationship is not just a personal luxury; it is a strategic strength that allows you to face global turbulence with stability and romance. RESOURCES MENTIONED: • Washington State Commercial featuring Kent & Caanan: https://youtu.be/yaORFU6_mrg?si=iSV1S-FcZ8kq-k35• Book: Someday Everyone Will Have Been Against This by Omar El-Akkad SUPPORT NO VACATION REQUIRED: If this episode helped you rethink a tough decision, please leave a review on Spotify or Apple Podcasts! It is the best way to help our message reach more people.• Subscribe: Never miss an episode by hitting the follow button on Spotify or Apple Podcasts• Check out our website: ⁠⁠https://novacationrequired.com/services⁠⁠• Read our book: ⁠⁠https://novacationrequired.com/book⁠⁠• Follow us on Instagram: ⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/novacationrequired/⁠