Week 194: "Deep Play" tips and tricks

In this week’s episode, I talk about celebrating successesthat we have, no matter how big or small, to help us feel just a little bit happier and better every day. These can be things related to work or home or everything in between. But the key is to always take at least a moment or two (or many) to find a way to celebrate what you’ve accomplished! This helps us to believe the message that we are good enough, we have doneenough, rather than to get stuck in the Inside Out 2 “I’m not good enough” hole. I give examples of some ways that I celebrate small (or medium) sized wins, and an action item at the end. And one of my favorite Brené Brown quotes from Dare to Lead!

In this week’s episode, I talk about those TikTok videos of people (mostly women and mostly moms) “resetting” their houses at the end of the day, and how we can use this idea of a “reset” to help us to get out of work mode and to reduce burnout! I talk about “locking in” and “locking through” fromBrené Brown’s book Strong Ground as well. Action item: every single day, work on resetting your brain/”locking through” after work to help you shut down your work brain. I promise that it will help you to be less burned out at work and help you to feel a little bit better every day!

In this episode, I talk about how Jeff, from the Calm App,taught me about finding “pockets of peace” during your day. I talk about what this means, about how it is similar to Dr. Laurie Santos’s “time confetti,” and give some examples of how I find pockets of time during my day. I give an example of how one instance of finding a pocket of time in my day turned around the whole rest of my day/evening. Action item: find pockets of time in your day, even from 30 seconds to 3 minutes, to take a breath, pause, enjoy a cup (or a sip) of coffee, savor a bite of chocolate or a huge or a good conversation with someone. Put down your phone and really be wherever you are. As Ferris Bueller famously said, “Life moves pretty fast-if you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.”

In this episode, I talk about how I was feeling very frazzled yesterday after a long, hard week of far too many things going on, and how I am de-frazzling myself today. I define what “frazzled” means (from children’s author Sandra Boyton), I talk about the book Rest: Why you get more done when you work less, by Alex Soojung-Kim Pang, and about advice from Gretchen Rubin, one of my favorite authors. I give lots of ideas for what I will do today to de-frazzle, including re-reading a favorite book and following some traditions like Friday night movie night! Action item: when you are feeling frazzled, reachfor things that provide you with true comfort, not just numbing, or at least, just take a minute to breathe in for 4 seconds, hold for 4 seconds, breathe out for 4 seconds, hold for 4 seconds (box breathing).

In this episode, I talk about the 4 characteristics/featuresof “deep play” and why deep play is so important to those of us who would like to have long and happy career paths. The definitions come from the book Rest: Why you get more done when you work less, by Alex Soojung-Kim Pang and theexamples are from the book and from my own life. Action item: pay attention to whether what you are already doing in your free time has at least 1 of the 4 characteristics of “deep play” and if not, try to incorporate more deep play activities into your daily life, even just a few minutes at a time!

In this episode, I talk about how life is hard and that is OK- if we can learn to be more resilient, we can truly change our lives and the world. I talk about the Stockdale Paradox, which involves resilience and hope, I define hope and resilience using Brené Brown’s work (and her book the Gifts of Imperfection), and give us some solid action items for cultivating more hope and resilience in our lives during a particularly tough time. Action item: pick one of the 5 areas of resilience to work on this week : 1) be resourceful and havegood problem solving skills (don’t just give up- try another way!) 2) seek help when you need it 3) practice managing your feelings in a proactive way -like through meditation 4) work to strengthen your social support network- check in on a friend you haven’t heard from in a while or 5) connect with others- give your kid or cat or best friend a hug!

In this week’s episode, I talk about abundance as an antidote to scarcity, why cultivating an attitude of abundance is so important to our mental health, and how we can try in our lives even just for a few minutes a day to cultivate an attitude of abundance. Action item: this week, when you think you are too busy, act like someone who has the time, money, etc., to slow down and enjoy something for just a few minutes each day. Talk to a friend, chat with a neighbor, help someone do something instead of walking on by. I promise it will make your life richer and more joyful!

In this week’s episode, I talk about the joy (for both giverand receiver) in thanks/appreciation. I talk about some examples where I have received thanks, and given thanks, in my life, and about how it made me feel and how I still remember it (from both sides). I talk about the Happiness Labwith Dr. Laurie Santos and how the psychology research shows that thanking people (particularly in writing) helps everyone to have a little bit more joy in their lives. Action item: find someone to thank for something, and ideally write them a letter, but an email, a text message, or even a verbal thank youcan help!

In this episode, I define collective effervescence, givesome examples of finding joy but also just connection through experiences that promote collective effervescence, and give an action item: go out and experience just a little bit of collective effervescence yourself this week! Some examplesinclude: concerts/music festivals, sporting events, religious rituals like singing or praying, weddings and other parties, even cheering on your favorite dance in Dancing with the Stars (especially if you have friends who are watching it too)!

In this episode, I talk about how in this scary and uncertain world we need to make a choice, to control those things that we can control, and to let go of the things that will just have us spinning our wheels, wasting our time, our energy, our “one wild and precious life” (Mary Oliver) on things that we don’t in the end have any control over. I talk about similar topics in a different way in Week 49 (“let it go”) and Week 119 (“whento fight and when to let it go”). Action item: the net time you are trying to control something, take a deep breath and think about- is this something I actually have control over or not? If so, control away, but if not, maybe just- let it go!