David Richo: Better Than Revenge

What if getting back at someone isn't as satisfying as we think—and what we're really trying to avoid is grief? This week on Simplify, Caitlin speaks with psychotherapist, teacher, and author David Richo about his book Sweeter Than Revenge, which makes the case that there's a better way to respond when people hurt us than the one our brains (and basically every movie ever made) are wired for. Dave has spent decades sitting with people in their messiest, most wounded moments. What he's found is that retaliation isn't really about power or justice. It's about running from grief! We retaliate so we don't have to feel bad. Which, when you think about it, is kind of a bummer. The conversation gets into the neuroscience of revenge (yes, it lights up reward circuits—but only briefly), why our most beloved stories and films keep selling us the same retaliatory fantasy, and what it actually looks like to choose differently. He and Caitlin also dig into why we hurt the people we love in the first place, and Dave offers four concrete steps for the next time the urge to retaliate arises. ResourcesSweeter Than Revenge by David Richo Caitlin's Rec: With The End in Mind by Kathryn Mannix Ben's Rec: How to Be And Adult in Relationships by David Richo Let us know what you thought of this episode! Find us on Instagram at @simplifypod. Subscribe to our newsletter here. You can email us at [email protected] This episode of Simplify was produced by Caitlin Schiller, Ben Schuman-Stoler, and Joao Lucas in Berlin, Germany, for Kollo Media.

Most of us have no idea what it means to repair harm, not just apologize for it. We also regard rage as frightening and out of place in loving, connected relationships. It takes a special person to demystify these staticky aspects of human relating—and we found her. This week on Simplify, Caitlin speaks with relational skills teacher Christabel Mintah-Galloway about repair: why it’s so difficult, why most of us avoid it, and why real accountability requires more than just good intentions. In a culture that prizes speed, certainty, and individualism, repair demands slowness, humility, and interdependence, so we're never taught how to practice this essential skill. Christabel offers tools that help us knit back together after a rupture (if we want to!), become true mirrors for one another, and learn to be in community—even when it's hard. The conversation also explores how rage can actually clarify values and point to injustice, strengthening our strongest relationships and freeing us from the ones that no longer work. Want to spend more time with Christabel? You can! Attend one of her Relational Skills for Liberation workshops, find her on Instagram, or get her Relational Skills Toolkit. Resources Christabel's Website Caitlin's rec: The WEIRDest People in The World by Joseph Heinrich Ben's rec: Nonviolent Communication by Marshall B. Rosenberg, Arun Gandhi Let us know what you thought of this episode! Find us on instagram at @simplifypod. Subscribe to our newsletter here. You can email us at [email protected] This episode of Simplify was produced by Caitlin Schiller, Ben Schuman-Stoler, and Ody Constantinou in Berlin, Germany, for Kollo Media.  

What if the United States wasn’t just influenced by cult-like thinking, but shaped by it from the very beginning?This week on Simplify, Caitlin Schiller speaks with journalist and author Jane Borden, whose book Cults Like Us: Why Doomsday Thinking Drives America explores how cult dynamics show up across U.S. history, politics, consumer culture, and self-help. From Puritan theology to superhero movies, Borden argues that cults aren’t fringe phenomena—they’re extreme versions of patterns baked so deep into American culture that they came over in the metaphorical sourdough starter brought over on the Mayflower. Together, Caitlin and Jane unpack why Americans are so drawn to comfort, certainty, and strongmen—and what it costs us when we give up agency in exchange for reassurance.You'll also hear about Caitlin's new least favorite figure in history (spoilers: it's the compunctionless Edward Bernays), dismantle the stories about power we're told, learn how the desire for comfort slowly erodes democracy, and where we should turn—if not to a singular outside "hero"—to save the day.  ResourcesCults Like Us by Jane BordenThe American Monomyth by Robert Jewett & John Shelton LawrenceCaitlin's rec: The Hardest Job in the World by John DickersonBen's rec: Bowling Alone by Robert D. PutnamLet us know what you thought of this episode! Find us on instagram at @simplifypod. Subscribe to our newsletter here—this week, a take on hero worship & Bad Bunny. You can email us at [email protected] episode of Simplify was produced by Caitlin Schiller, Ben Schuman-Stoler, and Ody Constantinou in Berlin, Germany, for Kollo Media.  

Strategy. It can sound abstract, intimidating, and vaguely corporate. So who better to help demystify it than Seth Godin?Seth returns to Simplify to talk about his book This Is Strategy, and to reframe strategy not as a rigid plan or a set of tactics, but as a philosophy of becoming. In this conversation, Caitlin Schiller and Seth Godin explore what strategy really is, why tension is not only inevitable but necessary, and how pricing, trust, and generosity fit into long-term thinking about work.If strategy has ever felt overwhelming, or if you’ve been told to “be more strategic” without anyone explaining what that means, this episode is for you.______ResourcesSeth's Blog (going strong for 30 years without missing a day!) and his new book, This is StrategyCaitlin's rec: Considered Chaos, Substack of Eugene HealeyBen's rec: Good to Great by Jim CollinsLet us know what you thought of this episode! Find us on instagram at @simplifypod. Subscribe to our newsletter here. Email us at [email protected] episode of Simplify was produced by Caitlin Schiller, Ben Schuman-Stoler, and Ody Constantinou in Berlin, Germany, for Kollo Media.

Simplify is back! When you leave the doctor with a protocol for what ails you, do you wonder where the knowledge behind your prescription came from? In fact, we know how to treat today's woes thanks to the bodies of people who suffered—and nowhere is that data more inexact and editorialized than in women's health. Feminist cultural historian Dr. Elinor Cleghorn, who specializes in women’s health and its history, is just the person to set the story straight. Her book, Unwell Women, demystifies myths around women’s health—stories about what women's bodies are for, whether pain is just a necessary side effect of being a woman, and why women's bodies have been policed and traded as political capital, yet we still have to fight to be believed about our own bodily experiences. Women's bodies aren't mysteries—they are our own to care for and make decisions about.In this episode, Caitlin Schiller talks with Dr. Cleghorn about the relevance of this history today, as women's sexuality and reproductive freedoms are being redefined in response to a threatened patriarchy and budding pronatalist movements across the west.In the Bookend, Ben and Caitlin make reading recommendations and discuss Simplify's new, independent era. Caitlin's rec: Eve: How the Female Body Drove 200 Million Years of Evolution by Cat BohannonBen's rec: The Confessions of Frannie Langton by Sara CollinsLet us know what you thought of this episode! Find us on instagram at @simplifypod on instagram. Subscribe to our newsletter here. Email us at [email protected] episode of Simplify was produced by Caitlin Schiller, Ben Schuman-Stoler, and Ody Constantinou in Berlin, Germany, for Kollo Media.

Simplify is back on January 12, 2026! We’ve got a new look, we’re independent now, and we can’t wait to share new episodes with you every other Monday from January 12th onward. This episode features one of Caitlin's favorite-ever interviews, with Kathryn Mannix.To warm you up, we’re reissuing 5 of our favorite episodes. So, catch up on the great ideas you might’ve missed and get ready for Monday: you’ll hear from a cultural historian who will change the way you interact with the medical system.  Sign up for our new newsletter, follow us on instagram. See you there!

Simplify is back on January 12, 2026! We’ve got a new look, we’re independent now, and we can’t wait to share new episodes with you every other Monday from January 12th onward. This episode features Liz Fosslien.To warm you up, we’re reissuing 5 of our favorite episodes. So, catch up on the great ideas you might’ve missed and get ready for Monday: you’ll hear from a cultural historian who will change the way you interact with the medical system. Sign up for our new newsletter, follow us on instagram. See you there!

Simplify is back on January 12, 2026! We’ve got a new look, we’re independent now, and we can’t wait to share new episodes with you every other Monday from January 12th onward. This episode features Eli Finkel, and it's one of our personal favorites.To warm you up, we’re reissuing 5 of our favorite episodes. So, catch up on the great ideas you might’ve missed and get ready for Monday: you’ll hear from a cultural historian who will change the way you interact with the medical system. Sign up for our new newsletter, follow us on instagram. See you there!   

Simplify is back on January 12, 2026! We’ve got a new look, we’re independent now, and we can’t wait to share new episodes with you every other Monday from January 12th onward. To warm you up, we’re reissuing 5 of our favorite episodes. So, catch up on the great ideas you might’ve missed and get ready for Monday: you’ll hear from a cultural historian who will change the way you interact with the medical system. Sign up for our new newsletter, follow us on instagram. See you there!This one features Tiffany Dufu, it's one of our most-downloaded episodes ever. 

Simplify is back on January 12, 2026! We’ve got a new look, we’re independent now, and we can’t wait to share new episodes with you every other Monday from January 12th onward. To warm you up, we’re reissuing 5 of our favorite episodes. So, catch up on the great ideas you might’ve missed and get ready for Monday: you’ll hear from a cultural historian who will change the way you interact with the medical system. Sign up for our new newsletter, follow us on instagram. See you there!This is one of our most popular ever episodes, featuring David Allen. We sound so young...