What If You Stopped Controlling Everything? with Tim Shields | #36

What if the patterns holding you back today started long before you even realized they were there? In Part 2 of this powerful conversation, Dr. Traci Arends returns to explore how childhood experiences, generational trauma, and unmet needs can shape the relationships we build and the boundaries we struggle to set. After navigating a painful divorce, the loss of her community, and a personal identity crisis, Tracy began a journey of healing that transformed her life and inspired her work helping other women find their way forward. Together, Christine and Traci explore: How childhood conditioning and generational trauma influence our adult relationships. Why setting boundaries isn't selfish, and how learning to say no can set us free. The power of grief, reflection, and small daily practices in healing. Why trusting your intuition and getting curious can help you break old patterns. Healing isn't about becoming someone new overnight. It's about learning to listen to yourself, making space for change, and finding the courage to stop repeating what no longer serves you. You don't have to keep surviving when you can start truly living.

What if the patterns holding you back today began long before you ever had a chance to choose them? In this episode of Shine a Light, host Christine Miles sits down with Dr. Traci Arends, founder of She Fully Alive, to explore how childhood experiences, family trauma, and inherited expectations shape the way we show up in our adult lives. Drawing from her own journey through grief, difficult relationships, and years of personal transformation, Traci shares how she learned to recognize old patterns, rebuild her confidence, and create a more intentional life. Together, Christine and Traci unpack the power of self-awareness, the importance of setting boundaries without resentment, and why healing requires us to actually feel our emotions rather than avoid them. In this conversation, you'll discover: How childhood experiences and generational trauma influence adult relationships. Why self-awareness and quiet reflection can help you break familiar patterns. How to set boundaries, practice self-compassion, and make space for grief. Why understanding your past doesn't mean excusing the pain it caused. You can't change the story you inherited, but you can change what you carry forward. Tune in for an honest, heartfelt conversation about healing, reconnecting with yourself, and creating a healthier legacy for the generations to come.  

In this episode of Shine a Light, host Christine Miles sits down with Emily Cherkin, M.Ed., The Screentime Consultant, former middle school teacher, and advocate for more intentional technology use in education. Emily is leading the fight for a Tech-Intentional™ childhood. After witnessing how screens transformed hernclassroom—and experiencing firsthand how a traumatic brain injury affected her own ability to process visual stimulation—Emily became an unexpected activist, challenging schools to rethink their reliance on educational technology and put children's needs first. In this episode, you'll discover: ● Why less screen time can mean more learning: How hands-on experiences, human connection, and real-world problem-solving help children build essential skills. ● The difference between teaching technology and teaching through technology: Why schools should question whether digital tools are effective, safe, legal, and truly better than a human educator. ● How parents can lead by example: Practical ways to rethink screen habits, set boundaries, and help children build healthier relationships with technology. Technology isn't going away—but we can be more intentional about how and when we use it. Emily challenges parents, educators, and leaders to question the status quo, protect the human side of learning, and remember that when we know better, we can do better. Tune in for a thought-provoking conversation about raising capable, connected kids in a screen-saturated world—and why sometimes, moving forward means getting back to basics. Connect with Emily Cherkin: Website: https://thescreentimeconsultant.com Connect with Christine Miles: Website: https://thelisteningpath.com

What if the most powerful thing a leader could do is stop talking and start listening? In this episode of Shine the Light, host Christine Miles sits down with Olga Yakimakho, a global leader in organizational effectiveness, talent development, and leadership strategy, to explore how curiosity, empathy, and human connection can transform the way we lead. From growing up in the former Soviet Union to working across more than 30 countries, Olga shares how her global experiences—and the deeply personal challenge of navigating her young son's rare heart condition and transplant—reshaped her perspective on leadership, resilience, and what truly matters. In this episode, you'll discover: ● Why active listening and curiosity are essential to leading people from different backgrounds and experiences. ● How vulnerability and life-changing experiences can reshape your leadership philosophy and priorities. ● Why the best leaders stay open to learning, challenge assumptions, and invest in the unique talents of others. Leadership isn't about having all the answers or commanding the room. It's about seeing people as human beings, understanding their stories, and creating the conditions for them to thrive. Tune in for a powerful reminder that the best way to lead others is to stay curious, listen deeply, and never stop learning. Connect with Olga Yakimakho: LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/olga-yakimakho/ Connect with Christine Miles: Website: https://thelisteningpath.com

What if the life you're looking for begins when you stop trying to control it? What if the biggest thing holding you back as a leader isn't your ability—it's the authority you're unintentionally giving away? What if one simple act—reaching out—could change the course of a life? In this heartfelt conversation, educator and wellbeing advocate John Doran shares the lessons that have shaped his three decades in education, from a father who taught him about possibility to mentors who showed him the power of believing in others. He explores why genuine connection, emotional intelligence, curiosity, and gratitude may matter more than ever in a world increasingly shaped by technology and AI. Together, Christine and John explore: ● Why reaching out is a superpower—and how a simple message or conversation can open unexpected doors. ● The power of emotional intelligence and listening, especially as young people prepare for a rapidly changing world. ● Why educators are "magic makers" who often plant seeds without ever knowing when—or if—they will see the impact. ● The importance of gratitude, and why we should give people their flowers while they can still smell them. ● How curiosity can break down barriers and help us find common ground with people who see the world differently. John's message is ultimately about possibility: slow down, listen deeply, notice people, and have the courage to make the first move. You never know what ripple your words—or your kindness—might create. Connect with John Doran: Website: https://4schools.examcraftgroup.ie/author/john-doran Connect with Christine Miles: Website: https://thelisteningpath.com

What happens when being great at your job is no longer enough to be great at leading others? Ashley Rudolph went from individual contributor to VP in just five years, leading multimillion-dollar deals and teams of more than 250 people. But her fastest growth came with some of her hardest lessons, including learning how to lead someone who once outranked her, stop micromanaging, and shift from an executor mindset to an executive one. In this episode, Ashley and Christine explore: • Why being a high performer does not automatically make you a great leader • How friction at work can be a signal that you are ready for growth • Why relationships are the foundation of leading without authority • How self-reflection can transform your leadership style • Why the right role, industry, timing, and relationships can completely change your career trajectory Your next level may not require working harder. It may require stepping back, listening differently, and getting honest about what you really want.  

What if the life you're looking for begins when you stop trying to control it? What if the biggest thing holding you back as a leader isn't your ability—it's the authority you're unintentionally giving away? In this episode of Shine a Light, Christine Miles sits down with Leigh Toomey, founder and CEO of Lead Her Ship Educational Solutions, to unpack the subtle ways women can undermine their own authority without even realizing it. Drawing on more than 25 years across education, nonprofit, and business, Leigh explores why women often feel they need one more certification, one more accomplishment, or one more title before they're truly ready to lead—and why that mindset can keep them stuck. Together, Christine and Leigh explore: ● The hidden ways women "leak" authority: From people-pleasing to how we communicate, frame ideas, and carry ourselves in the room. ● Why you don't need the title to be a leader: If you're already doing the work, waiting for someone to validate your leadership can keep you from recognizing the authority you already have. ● Delegation as a leadership skill: How learning to delegate intentionally can reduce exhaustion, strengthen teams, and ultimately help shift organizational culture. ● Imposter syndrome and worthiness: Why confidence isn't always the issue—and how the feeling that you need to continually prove yourself can quietly hold you back. Leigh's message is not about becoming someone you're not. It's about taking a closer look at where you've been giving your power away—and making intentional choices to reclaim it. You don't have to wait until you feel completely ready to lead. Sometimes, the first step is simply recognizing that you're already doing it. Connect with Leigh Toomey: Website: https://leadhershipeducationalsolutions.com/ Connect with Christine Miles: Website: https://thelisteningpath.com

What if the best way to help your teenager is to stop solving their problems for them? In this episode of Shine a Light, Christine talks with educator, teen coach, and author Ashley Radzat about the often misunderstood "third stage" of parenting, when kids move from childhood toward independence and everything that worked before suddenly stops working. Ashley explains why the teen years are a critical period of brain development, identity formation, and separation from parents, and how our instinct to protect and problem-solve can actually undermine a teenager's confidence and sense of capability. They explore: • Why teens need parents to shift from being the "pilot" to being the coach • How natural consequences help kids develop confidence and problem-solving skills • Why parents need to regulate their own emotions before they can help their teens regulate theirs • How focusing on "what works" can change the way parents and teens communicate If you're raising a teenager, working with teens, or simply trying to build healthier relationships, this conversation offers a hopeful reminder: sometimes giving someone space to figure things out is the most powerful way to show up for them.

What if the life you're looking for begins when you stop trying to control it? In this episode of Shine a Light, Christine Miles sits down with writer, storyteller, and intentional-creation advocate Tim Shields for a fascinating conversation about consciousness, energy, and the stories we tell ourselves. Tim shares how a lifetime of curiosity, meditation, travel, and unexpected experiences led him to question the narratives that shape our reality—and ultimately to embrace a more intentional way of moving through the world. Together, Christine and Tim explore: ● The stories that quietly run our lives: How early experiences can create conditioning that feels like truth, even when it may simply be a story we've learned to believe. ● Getting out of your head and into your life: Tim explains how meditation helped him reconnect with his body and become more aware of what was happening beneath the constant noise of the mind. ● Letting go of control: From traveling alone through unfamiliar places to embracing uncertainty, Tim shares why some of life's most meaningful experiences happen when we stop trying to dictate exactly how things unfold. ● Intentional creation: Tim describes his approach to becoming more deliberate about what you want, how you think, and how you show up in the world. This is a conversation about curiosity, courage, and the possibility that the answers we're searching for aren't always somewhere out in the world—they may begin by becoming quiet enough to hear ourselves. If you're ready to question an old story, loosen your grip on control, or simply become more intentional about the life you're creating, this conversation with Tim offers plenty to sit with. Connect with Tim Sheilds: Website: https://timshields.com/author/photoacademy/ Connect with Christine Miles: Website: https://thelisteningpath.com

What if becoming a better leader had less to do with having all the answers—and more to do with embracing the adventure? In this episode of Shine a Light, Christine Miles sits down with Jen Recla, leadership coach, trainer, and founder of Recla Coaching and Consulting, to explore what it really takes to lead through uncertainty, change, and growth. With more than 15 years of experience in leadership development and organizational growth, Jen shares how her own experiences of being thrown into leadership—and learning along the way—shaped her approach to helping leaders build confidence, connection, and high-performing teams. Together, Christine and Jen explore: ● Why so many leaders are asked to lead before they're actually prepared—and how coaching, mentoring, and support can change that experience. ● The power of fun, adventure, and curiosity in leadership, especially when navigating uncertainty and difficult conversations. ● Why vulnerability and sharing the messy parts of success matter, reminding us that growth rarely happens in a straight line. ● How leaders can move beyond simply managing people to creating teams that are engaged, resilient, and ready to grow. Jen brings an honest and refreshing perspective to leadership: you don't have to have it all figured out to make an impact. Sometimes the most meaningful growth happens when you're willing to embrace the uncertainty, learn from what doesn't work, and keep moving forward. Connect with Jen Recla: Website: https://www.jenrecla.com/ Connect with Christine Miles: Website: https://thelisteningpath.com