Ep. 105 Mandy Gosling on Adults Bereaved as Children

In this episode, Vicky Linnane discusses the profound and often overlooked experience of sibling loss and the impact of sibling loss on her identity, relationships and sense of self.  Vicky’s brother, Gary, who died in a house fire - was described as a character who always lived life on the edge, having multiple incidents and accidents that always left their family uneasy, ultimately leading to anticipatory grief for Vicky and her family.  Vicky describes how grief never leaves us but we learn to live with it. She outlines what was supportive, what wasn’t supportive and well as taking us through her journey of understanding her grief and how she integrated her grief into her life. Vicky expresses the disenfranchised grief she experienced with losing a sibling as she takes us through the multitude of losses she suffered from - including the loss of a possible future and the loss of the potential relationship she could have had with her brother as she reveals she reignited her relationship with her brother shortly before he died. Vicky beautifully illustrates her grieving process as she reveals her unique ways of dealing with her grief. Vicky offered insights into the complexities of this type of disenfranchised grief, the enduring bonds of siblinghood, and the challenges of finding a path toward 'healing'. Vicky Linnane is an Art Therapist who facilitates courageous journeys with individuals and groups. She uses creativity to explore our darkest nooks and crannies that gently shine light on our vulnerabilities and imperfections and helps those of all ages to recognise and celebrate their unique story and accept their authentic self. Creative expression within a therapeutic relationship can have a powerful impact on maintaining good mental health, and this is something that Vicky has dedicated her working life to. Art Therapy can help to resolve conflicts and problems for individuals of all ages, backgrounds, and genders. Vicky maintains a client led approach and holds a non-judgmental space for all her clients. You can find out more on her website ⁠www.enricharttherapy.com⁠

In this episode Mary discusses the multifaceted aspects of menopause, the losses associated with menopause, ambiguous loss as well as the release of her new book; Seven Steps to Birth a Crone. She explores the physical and emotional changes, the challenges and triumphs and the unique ways she’s embraced this transition . This episode focuses on the impact of menopause on self-esteem, relationships, and self-identity. She has edited several publications and her work has appeared in several collections and anthologies and has been published in newspapers, magazines and e-zines both nationally and internationally. Some of her works include ‘Sunny Spells, Scattered Showers’, Carroll R. & Kennelly M. Glenwood Press, 2004 and ‘From the Stones’, Fitzmaurice B. & Kennelly M. Evensong Publications, 2010. Purchase Mary's latest (beautiful) book on her website, as well as prints from the book. See the link below to access her website as well as her social media handles: Facebook: Mary Kennelly Twitter: @marykpoet Instagram: bmkennelly Website: https://marykennelly.com About Shapes of Grief: Shapes of Grief is an internationally recognized organization dedicated to enhancing competency around loss, grief and bereavement literacy. Curated by Psychotherapist and grief specialist Liz Gleeson, Shapes of Grief equips individuals with the tools and expertise necessary for understanding and supporting the complex needs of the bereaved, or people grieving any type of loss. With a curriculum that has been meticulously developed to include the most comprehensive evidence-based material available, Shapes Of Grief stands out as the only program to feature contributions from international grief experts. The award-winning online programme offers different levels of training to accurately meet the needs of each learner.

We are back with a new episode of our podcast! Listen in via any major podcast streaming platform! In this episode, Tasha opens up about her experience of pregnancy loss and then loosing another child to adoption, and how that impacted her life as a young teenager. Tasha discusses her experience of the #DisenfranchisedGrief she suffered for years, without realizing that's what she was experiencing, until the deaths of two sisters would bring much of her unresolved grief to the surface. Tasha takes us through her profoundly painful journey of facing her grief and how she began to integrate her losses - using writing as a creative outlet. Tasha Smith is a wife, mother, and writer from North Carolina. She has appeared on Her View from Home, Focus on the Family, and TODAY Parents. Find her online at www.imnatashasmith.com

Sinead O'Connor was many things to many people. On 8th August, her funeral procession brought her back to her former hometown Bray, Co. Wicklow, where her community could pay their condolences and express their love and gratitude for this beloved woman. I travelled to Bray to speak to some of the mourners. #grief #collectivegrief #sineadoconnor #sineado'connor #nothingcompares2u

June 20th is World Refugee Day I am so lucky and privileged to live in a country that is not threatened by war. My children are safe, have access to good education and have their human rights supported and protected. Not everyone is so lucky. Many people in the world live under the daily threat of war, violence or poverty. When home is no longer safe, many people make the impossible decision to risk their family's lives by seeking refugee abroad. Some of them make it, many don't. Just this week, hundreds of people lost their lives when the boat they were travelling in sank: "All the women died, drowned, with their children in their arms". I recorded this conversation with Caoimhe Butterly a few months ago as part of the Shapes Of Grief online Training Programme. I also want to make it freely available as a podcast episode, so that it can be spread far and wide. If you have refugees living in your community, are you helping them to find the safety, refuge and kindness that they deserve? I'm not one to quote Jesus, but there's a first time for everything, right? this quote, feels especially apt "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you".

No twenty three year old, starting out on married life, expects to be widowed so young, but that is what happened Lucy. After her husband died, not only did she lose him, but also the family and friends that surrounded her - she was from the 'wrong' tribe. Lucy generously shares her experience of her life after loss, navigating domestic violence and ultimately fleeing with her three young children to the safety of Ireland. In the decade or so since Lucy has lived in Ireland, she has come through the Direct Provision system, found work, created a social enterprise, met the president of Ireland and written a book. Lucy is beyond inspiring and it was simply humbling to listen to her story and learn from her incredible psychological flexibility, capacity for forgiveness and unwavering kindness. Lucy wrote a book for her first son, so that he could know his father. The book can be purchased here https://www.austinmacauley.com/author/press-alexia

This is such an important perspective that hasn't yet been explicitly been explored by the podcast. In this episode, Mandy Gosling shares her experience of being a bereaved child after her mother died when she was aged 9. We explore how this early loss can impact a person's life, affecting their relationships and sense of self in the world. Grief has not always been supported well, and certainly, for several generations of adults who were bereaved as children, they are still living with the ripple effects of that.  More resources for Adults Bereaved as Children can be found on Mandy's website www.abcgrief.co.uk About Shapes of Grief: Shapes of Grief is an internationally recognized organization dedicated to enhancing competency around loss, grief and bereavement literacy. Curated by Psychotherapist and grief specialist Liz Gleeson, Shapes of Grief equips individuals with the tools and expertise necessary for understanding and supporting the complex needs of the bereaved, or people grieving any type of loss. With a curriculum that has been meticulously developed to include the most comprehensive evidence-based material available, Shapes Of Grief stands out as the only program to feature contributions from international grief experts. The award-winning online programme offers different levels of training to accurately meet the needs of each learner.

The pain of losing a child can trigger immensely distressing emotions. In the aftermath of a child's death, it is common for bereaved parents to feel that life no longer has purpose or meaning. In this conversation, Tony generously shares the story of his son Jake's sudden death, how Tony's past and environment shaped his experience of grief, how his anger nearly killed him and how a moment of grace would save his life and help him to find his purpose again. #grief #mensgrief #griefpodcast

Often called 'The forgotten grievers', there is no name for someone who has lost a sibling. They regularly hear 'how is your mum?' or 'how is your dad?', but rarely 'how are you?'. For a sibling, the loss can be enormous. Not only have they been bereaved of someone they have known probably for most or all of their lives, but they have also lost a version of their parents or family that existed before their sibling became ill or died; serious illness and death changes people and changes families. In this tender and honest conversation, Kate talks about what it was like when her baby sister was diagnosed with cancer. How painful it was to try to connect with Hanna when Hanna just wasn't available for meaningful connection and how that changed over time. Hanna's book of poetry I would live for you, which Kate finished after Hanna's death, is available to purchase from https://www.hannawilt.com #hannawilt #iwouldliveforyou #katekiesel #cancer #mesothelioma #griefpodcast

Jackie Furlong describes the immense psychological and emotional challenges of coping with the profound impact of her daughter's death, without the benefit of emotional literacy. It would be years after her loss that Jackie would learn how to grieve. Jackie's thesis was an autobiography - Giving Voice to Grief. The question she researched - Is there a path through the grieving process where we can find a deeper understanding of what it means to grieve? Her writing is based on her own lived experience and inspired by the loss of her 22yr old daughter in 2007.  About Shapes of Grief  Shapes of Grief is an internationally recognized organization dedicated to enhancing competency around loss, grief and bereavement literacy. Curated by Psychotherapist and grief specialist Liz Gleeson, Shapes of Grief equips individuals with the tools and expertise necessary for understanding and supporting the complex needs of the bereaved, or people grieving any type of loss.  With a curriculum that has been meticulously developed to include the most comprehensive evidence-based material available, Shapes Of Grief stands out as the only program to feature contributions from international grief experts. The award-winning online programme offers different levels of training to accurately meet the needs of each learner.  Don’t wait to make a difference in the lives of those who need it most, sign-up HERE for our FREE Masterclass in Loss & Grief.  #grief #bereavement #parentalloss