Ep 107: What Does RAD Look Like at School?

This is a follow-up to Episode 101, where we discussed the two recognized attachment disorder diagnoses and their impact on families. In this episode, we focus on how RAD shows up at school—and what teachers, counselors, and administrators need to know to respond with understanding and effectiveness.Educator Takeaways• Stay curious, not reactive. RAD behaviors are about survival, not defiance.• Don’t take it personally. Regulation is contagious—yours can help calm theirs.• Drop the rope. Avoid engaging in power struggles; instead, step back and stay grounded.• Connect the adults. Prevent triangulation by keeping clear, direct communication among parents, teachers, and administrators.• Prioritize safety and consistency. Predictable routines and transparent expectations create a sense of security.• Support attachment without replacing it. Teachers can be caring and relational without taking on the role of primary attachment figure.What Doesn’t Work• Rewards and punishments as motivators• Multiple warnings or lectures• Asking “why” after behaviors• Emotional reactivity from adultsWhat Does Work• Calm, consistent follow-through• Pre-planned responses for known triggers• Structured routines and visual schedules• Providing regulated choices• Team-based collaboration with parents and specialists• Focusing on regulation first, learning second

What if burnout isn’t just about exhaustion—but something much deeper? In this powerful episode, Julie and Ginger speak with Sheri Kreher, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and the Trauma, Illness, and Grief (TIG) Coordinator for 24 school districts in New York. Sheri brings two decades of mental health experience and a deep understanding of the emotional toll today’s educators are carrying.Together, we explore the growing wave of vicarious trauma, moral injury, and systemic despair among school staff—and why the solution lies beyond individual self-care. Sheri introduces the idea of Active Hope—a framework that acknowledges the pain, honors the grief, and offers a path forward rooted in connection, validation, and systems change.If you’ve ever found yourself thinking, “What’s wrong with me that I can’t do this job anymore?”—this episode will help you reframe that question and begin to heal.________________________________________In This Episode, We Explore:• Why burnout in education is often a symptom of deeper, systemic wounds• The role of moral injury and betrayal in driving educator hopelessness• How vicarious trauma shows up—and why it’s not a sign of weakness• What it means to practice Active Hope in school systems that feel broken• How administrators can be a protective factor for staff• Why naming, witnessing, and validating pain is essential to healing• What it takes to build school climates of cohesion, care, and courage"What looks like burnout is often unprocessed grief and betrayal. Educators don’t just need more resilience—they need to be seen, heard, and believed." — Sheri Kreher________________________________________ Resources:• Active Hope (by Joanna Macy & Chris Johnstone)• Active Hope Book Link: https://a.co/d/6dZ6xbi

In this episode, we talk with Rick and Doris Bowman about their brand-new book, Your FBA is a Fantasy!: A Guidebook to Creating Truly Trauma-Informed, Neuro-Affirming Functional Behavior Assessments & Behavior Support Plans. Together, we unpack why traditional FBAs and behavior plans often fall short—and can even harm students—and what it takes to truly shift toward regulation- and connection-based supports that foster resilience and belonging.What you’ll hear in this episode:Why traditional reward-and-punishment systems miss the mark for kids with trauma or neurodivergence.How to reframe “behavior” as an adaptive response—not defiance.Practical brain-body truths from neuroscience, Polyvagal Theory, and HeartMath that educators can use daily.Why adult nervous system regulation is the foundation for supporting students.A message of hope and encouragement for teachers feeling exhausted.This conversation is full of wisdom, compassion, and practical tools that can change the way we see—and support—our most vulnerable students.Resources & Links:Your FBA is a Fantasy! by Rick and Doris Bowman https://a.co/d/hYj5zoJLearn more about Team Bowman and Bowman Consulting Group https://bowmanconsultgroup.com/

“Parents Have Feelings, Too: Emotional Intelligence, The Change Triangle, and Healing Generational Patterns with Hilary Jacobs Hendel & Juli Fraga”Parenting can bring deep joy—but also guilt, shame, rage, grief, and more. So what do we do with all those big feelings? In this powerful episode, Julie and Ginger sit down with Hilary Jacobs Hendel, author of It’s Not Always Depression, and Dr. Juli Fraga, psychologist and parenting educator, to discuss their brand-new book, Parents Have Feelings, Too: Using the Change Triangle to Listen to the Body, Discover Core Emotions, and Connect to Your Authentic Self (out September 23, 2025).This book is a practical, research-backed, and compassion-filled guide to help parents recognize, work through, and grow from their emotions. Together, we explore how understanding your own emotionallandscape—through tools like the Change Triangle and the 4 Cs of Open-Heartedness—can break intergenerational patterns and build emotional intelligence in both you and your children.From the hidden power of disappointment to how to befriend your defenses, this episode is full of insight, practical strategies, and affirming reminders that your feelings matter too. In This Episode, We Explore:A gentle, clear introduction to the Change Triangle and how it helps people process emotionsThe 4 Cs of Open-Heartedness—and how they lead to greater emotional freedom What’s underneath "parent burnout" and how to move through it with clarity Why naming and noticing your defenses can unlock self-compassion How understanding disappointment can transform your parenting Ways parents can model healthy emotional processing for their kids The role of unprocessed trauma in generational parenting patterns—and how to break the cycle Tools for parenting through anxiety, guilt, grief, and more—with authenticity and skill Parents Have Feelings, Too is an emotional wellness playbook for parents. Drawing from the Change Triangle framework and Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy (AEDP), Hilary and Juli provide tools to help parents identify, understand, and process emotions in real time—so they can respond with calm, confidence, and connection. Through exercises, client stories, and reflection activities, this book guides readers to become more emotionally attuned parents and more authentic versions of themselves.“With 1 in 5 moms experiencing anxiety or depression, and over 60% of parents facing burnout, this book isn’t just helpful—it’s necessary.” RESOURCESParents Have Feelings, Too: A Guide to Navigating Your Emotions So You And Your Family Can Thrive: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/788442/parents-have-feelings-too-by-hilary-jacobs-hendel/Emotions Education 101 Class on Zoom for Parents:https://www.hilaryjacobshendel.com/education-cirriculum-content/emotion-education-101Teens, Tweens and Caregivers Curriculum to provide anEmotions Education 2-hour Introduction:https://www.hilaryjacobshendel.com/workshops/teen-emotions-education-101%E2%84%A2Print a PDF of the Change Triangle:https://www.hilaryjacobshendel.com/print-the-change-triangleChange Triangle YouTube channel with tools:https://www.youtube.com/@TheChangeTriangle/videosFollow Hilary: hilaryjacobshendel.comFollow Juli: julifraga.com

In this episode of Regulated & Relational, hosts Julie Beem and Ginger Healy sit down with two fathers on a mission to transform the way families and schools understand neurodiversity—Carl Young and Joel Sheagren.Carl and Joel are the co-creators of Embracing Hope: A Caregiver’s Guide to Neurodiversity, a groundbreaking book that bridges lived experience, creative storytelling, and research-based strategies to empower families raising children with Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder (FASD), Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), and trauma.👉 Get the book on Amazon: Embracing Hope 👉 Learn more about the project: embracinghopebook.comThis book challenges deficit-focused narratives, instead celebrating the strengths, creativity, and resilience that neurodivergent individuals bring to their families and communities.Through a blend of:Personal stories from caregivers and neurodivergent individualsFictional vignettes that illustrate everyday challengesEvidence-based interventions that can be adapted to each family’s needs…readers are invited to move beyond labels and see the unique gifts of every child.In our conversation, Carl and Joel share:Why they recognized a critical gap in resources for parents raising neurodiverse teensHow storytelling and character-driven vignettes help families engage with complex contentThe surprising and transformative insights from Embracing Hope that resonate most with overwhelmed caregiversHow community, creativity, and advocacy can shift families from survival to thrivingThis book is more than a manual—it’s a companion for families, educators, and allies who are seeking practical tools, renewed confidence, and the reassurance that they are not alone.Join us for this inspiring conversation about resilience, advocacy, and the future of supporting neurodiverse children and families.

In this unforgettable episode, Ginger and Julie sit down with the one and only Barb Clark—a powerhouse trainer, parent, and advocate known for saying the things most people are too afraid (or too tired) to say out loud. With her signature honesty, humor, and hard-earned wisdom, Barb opens up about raising kids with complex needs, navigating Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder (FASD), and what it really takes to help families thrive—not just survive.Barb shares her own parenting journey—including the very recent revelation of her own FASD diagnosis at age 56—and how it’s reshaped her perspective on everything from behavior to burnout. Together, we explore why traditional parenting strategies often backfire with neurodivergent kids, and how brain-based, compassion-rooted approaches can shift the entire family dynamic.This episode is a must-listen for educators, caregivers, and anyone supporting children impacted by trauma, prenatal exposure, or hidden disabilities. It’s filled with relatable stories, regulation strategies you can use today, and more than a few laugh-out-loud moments.Because as Barb says, “There is always hope—even if it’s buried under a pile of unfolded laundry.”What FASD really is—and why it’s more common than most people thinkHow emotional regulation and brain-based strategies change the game for kids and caregiversWhy traditional behavior charts and consequences often fail neurodivergent kidsBarb’s personal journey—from raising a child with FASD to discovering her own diagnosisTips for educators and leaders working with students impacted by trauma or prenatal substance exposurePractical, real-world advice you can use immediatelyWhy humor, honesty, and connection are essential parenting toolsBarb’s book, Raising Kids and Teens with FASD: Advice and Strategies to Help Your Family Thrive, will be released October 21, 2025.In This Episode, We Explore:Preorder Barb’s Book: https://a.co/d/eDc38tv

In this foundational episode of Regulated & Relational, Ginger and Julie dive deep into attachment disorders—what they are, how they’re diagnosed, and the realities families face when raising children with these challenges.From the history of Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) and Disinhibited Social Engagement Disorder (DSED) to the proposed Developmental Trauma Disorder (DTD), Ginger and Julie unpack decades of evolving research, personal experience, and practical tools for caregivers and professionals. They also address the hallmark behaviors—like manipulation, triangulation, lack of empathy—and explore why these behaviors occur, and how to respond in ways that promote healing and connection.This conversation is both honest and hopeful—acknowledging the challenges while sharing effective therapeutic parenting strategies, the importance of pacing and dosing nurture, and the long-term potential for growth and change.The history and evolution of attachment disorder diagnoses in the DSMHow RAD and DSED differ—and why splitting the diagnosis has caused confusionPrevalence rates and why research has been limitedHow attachment disorders can be mistaken for, or co-exist with, autismThe why behind hallmark behaviors:Manipulation and controlTriangulation between adultsLack of cause-and-effect thinkingLow empathyTherapeutic parenting strategies, including:Offering limited, safe choicesMaking implicit care explicitPacing and dosing nurture to build trustReducing chaos and avoiding power strugglesWhy Developmental Trauma Disorder matters—and how it may fill gaps in our understanding of trauma’s impact on childrenHopeful outcomes and the critical importance of early intervention and ongoing supportAttachment & Trauma Network: www.attachmenttraumanetwork.orgNational Institute of Health prevalence statistics (2023)Reactive Attachment Disorder - StatPearls - NCBI Bookshelf: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK537155/ (Published: May 1, 2023)Introduction to children's attachment - NCBI: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK356196/ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK537155/#:~:text=Epidemiology,Adolescent%20Well%2DBeing%2C%20No.Research on RAD subtypes: Dr. Charles Zeanah (2004)https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4342270/ACEs Study: CDC ACEs Resources

In this enlightening episode, Ginger Healy and Julie Beem sit down with Diane Gould, LCSW, and leading voice in the PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance) movement in North America. As co-author of Navigating PDA in America and Founder of PDA North America, Diane shares her deep expertise and personal journey—including her recent autism diagnosis—to help unpack the complexities of this misunderstood profile of autism.Together, we explore what PDA is, how it differs from traditional views of autism and oppositional behavior, and why recognizing it matters so much. From practical strategies to systemic change, this episode is a must-listen for parents, educators, and professionals working with neurodivergent children.What Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) is—and what it isn’tWhy PDA is often misunderstood as oppositional defianceThe power of the distinction: “I can’t” vs. “I won’t”The origin and mission of PDA North AmericaWhat effective support looks like for PDA individualsCommon misconceptions in schools and clinical settingsThe importance of collaborative, flexible approachesOne small but powerful change you can make todayNavigating PDA in America By Diane Gould, LCSW is a groundbreaking guide for parents, educators, and clinicians seeking to understand and support individuals with PDA in a U.S. context. https://a.co/d/4HS7wy1🌐 Connect with Diane Gould & PDA North America:📥 Website: https://pdanorthamerica.org/https://pdanorthamerica.org/free-pdfs/ [email protected] www.pdanorthamerica.org learn.pdanorthamerica.org facebook.com/pdanorthamerica Instagram.com/pdanorthamerica@PDANorthAmerica PDA North America Resources: PDA Learning Lab - self-paced pre-recorded webinars & trainings - https://learn.pdanorthamerica.org/ Annual Conference - March 5-7th Virtual & In-Person outside Chicago PDA Insights Articles - Articles posted regularly on various PDA topics - https://pdanorthamerica.com/insights PDA-Affirming Provider List - over 500+ providers that consider themselves PDA-affirming, sorted by state/province - https://pdanorthamerica.org/pdaaffirming-providers/ Upcoming Webinars & Events - details and registration for all upcoming announced offerings - https://pdanorthamerica.org/events/ Parent Provided Educators List (if you have a PDA child that goes to an educator that is PDA affirming, we'd love for you to submit them to be listed!) https://pdanorthamerica.org/pda-affirming-providers/ Free Peer Support Groups - support groups that meet regularly - https://pdanorthamerica.org/support-groups/ YouTube Channel - https://www.youtube.com/Free Downloadable PDF Resources - free downloadables - https://pdanorthamerica.org/free-pdfs/ PDA Community Contact List - parents and PDAers seeking a local community of people that understand and value their experience - https://pdanorthamerica.org/community-list/ Support Shop - PDA Swag shop - https://pdanorthamerica.org/supportshop/#products Don’t Miss Future Episodes!Subscribe to Regulated & Relational on your favorite podcast platform and leave us a review. Have feedback or topic suggestions? Reach out—we’d love to hear from you.Let’s keep growing a trauma-informed, attachment-focused community. 💙

In this heartfelt and reflective episode, Julie Beem and Ginger Healy return to a profound conversation from Season 1 with the late Cissy White—trauma survivor, fierce advocate, and the originator of the term Joy Stalking.As the world faces rising despair and isolation, Julie and Ginger explore what it means to stalk, savor, and sustain joy—especially in the face of pain, trauma, and fear. Drawing from Cissy’s wisdom, Brene Brown’s research, theological insights, and their own personal journeys, they unpack how joy can be a radical act of healing and resistance.You’ll discover why joy is not the same as happiness, how trauma can block joy, and why cultivating even the tiniest moments of joy might just be one of the most important things we can do—for ourselves, our children, and our communities.“Joy stalking is always healing and useful. It’s about savoring life through sensing, using my body, absorbing, feeling all the good stuff.” — Cissy White“Joy isn’t the opposite of sadness. It’s the opposite of fear.” — Anne Robertson via Brené Brown“Joy doesn’t betray but sustains activism… joy is a fine initial act of insurrection.” — Rebecca Solnit“We can’t experience joy when we’re scanning for danger. Trauma blocks joy—but healing invites it back in.” — Julie & Ginger

In this thought-provoking episode of Regulated & Relational, Ginger Healy and Julie Beem invite you to explore the transformative power of empathy—not just as a personal virtue but as a vital, actionable skill that the world needs now more than ever.Listen actively – Focus on understanding, not fixing.Challenge your assumptions – Seek to understand those who are different from you.Model empathy for children – Help them recognize their own feelings first.Be compassionate with yourself – Self-awareness is the foundation for empathy.“Empathy isn’t about imagining yourself in someone else’s shoes—it’s about listening deeply to their story and believing them.” – Ginger Healy