Why We Overestimate Threats (Part 2 - Anxiety Equation Series)

 A deeply personal exploration of eldest daughter syndrome—the invisible load that comes with being the responsible one, the second mom, the example. If you're an eldest daughter who learned that being helpful mattered more than being carefree, this episode is for you. We explore how love and responsibility got tangled up early on, the connection to anxiety and depression, and the path toward healing while honoring both the gifts and the weight of this role.In this episode, you'll learn:Why eldest daughters are more likely to struggle with anxiety and high-functioning perfectionismThe research behind birth order, gender, and anxiety ratesThe "wolf pack metaphor" and why eldest daughters often walk in front, taking the hitsHow nervous system regulation creates space to hold both/and truths about your childhoodPractical steps for healing over-responsibility and self-abandonment patterns3 Takeaways:The Eldest Daughter to High-Functioning Anxiety Pipeline is Real: Research shows firstborns with siblings are 48% more likely to be diagnosed with anxiety.You Can Love Your Role AND Grieve the Cost: It's not either/or—you can have had good parents AND experienced unintentional hurt. You can cherish being the big sister AND be healing from the weight of it. When your nervous system settles, you gain the capacity to hold both truths without one invalidating the other.Healing Requires Reclaiming Play and Rest: Far too early, many eldest daughters stopped playing and started managing. Healing means experimenting with "good enough," letting things go undone, and proving to your nervous system that rest and play are survivable—not frivolous.Practical Steps for Healing:Name the pattern out loud: "I learned to be hyper-responsible and that my worth comes from what I do"Practice both/and thinking rather than either/orLearn to regulate your nervous system to access nuance and self-compassionExperiment with asking for help in low-stakes situations // Ask yourself: "What would 'good enough' look like today?"Play 1% more, rest 1% moreIf you have kids, model that responsibility doesn't mean carrying everything alone—Looking for more personalized support?Book a FREE discovery call for RESTORE, our 1:1 anxiety & depression coaching program (HSA/FSA eligible & includes comprehensive bloodwork)Join me inside Regulated Living, a mental health membership and nervous system healing space (sliding scale pricing available)Order my book, Healing Through the Vagus Nerve today!*Want me to talk about something specific on the podcast? Let me know HERE.Website: https://www.riseaswe.com/podcastEmail: [email protected]: https://www.instagram.com/amandaontherise/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@amandaontherise

In the final episode, Amanda tackles the most empowering part of the equation: the “Underestimation of Ability.” Discover the science behind why we forget our own capacity and resources in the exact moments we need it most and learn how to actively reconnect with your deep well of resilience.In This Episode, You'll Learn:Why anxiety makes you shrink and feel like a younger, less powerful version of yourself.That stress hormones can temporarily block your access to memories of past successesHow to recognize your everyday actions as powerful evidence of your capability.The game-changing mindset shift from asking "What if?" to knowing "Even if..."Tools to Reconnect With Your Ability:Evidence Gathering: Make a list of hard things you’ve already survived. Your track record is proof of your strength.The Resource Reality Check: Actively list your resources—skills, knowledge, and especially the people you can turn to for co-regulation and support.The "Good Enough" Reminder: Ask, "What would handling this 'good enough' look like?" This frees you from the paralysis of perfectionism.—Looking for more personalized support?Book a FREE discovery call for RESTORE, our 1:1 anxiety & depression coaching program (HSA/FSA eligible & includes comprehensive bloodwork)Join me inside Regulated Living, a mental health membership and nervous system healing space (sliding scale pricing available)Order my book, Healing Through the Vagus Nerve today!*Want me to talk about something specific on the podcast? Let me know HERE.Website: https://www.riseaswe.com/podcastEmail: [email protected]: https://www.instagram.com/amandaontherise/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@amandaontherise

Welcome to part two of our series! Today, Amanda’s diving into the first half of the anxiety equation: the “Overestimation of Threat.” Learn why your brain is wired to assume the worst-case scenario and discover three practical tools to help your nervous system calibrate to the actual level of danger, not just the perceived one.In This Episode, You'll Learn:Why your brain’s “negativity bias” is a survival skill that’s poorly adapted for modern lifeHow childhood experiences can turn your internal alarm system up to the highest settingThe connection between your nervous system state and the stories you tell yourself about what’s happeningTools to "Right-Size" the Threat:The Reality Check Question: "What do I actually know to be true right now?"The Percentage Game: "If I had to bet money, what's the real percentage chance of the worst-case scenario happening?"The Friend Filter: "What would I tell my best friend if they came to me with this exact situation?"—Looking for more personalized support?Book a FREE discovery call for RESTORE, our 1:1 anxiety & depression coaching program (HSA/FSA eligible & includes comprehensive bloodwork)Join me inside Regulated Living, a mental health membership and nervous system healing space (sliding scale pricing available)Order my book, Healing Through the Vagus Nerve today!*Want me to talk about something specific on the podcast? Let me know HERE.Website: https://www.riseaswe.com/podcastEmail: [email protected]: https://www.instagram.com/amandaontherise/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@amandaontherise

Ever wonder why anxiety shows up and feels so overwhelming? In this episode, Amanda kicks off a mini-series by re-introducing a game-changing formula that makes sense of it all, what she calls, “The Anxiety Equation”. Once you see anxiety as a math problem, you realize you have the power to change the variables.In This Episode, You'll Learn:The simple but powerful Anxiety Equation: Anxiety = Overestimation of Threat + Underestimation of CapacityHow this equation plays out in real-life scenarios, from a stressful email at work to a toddler’s meltdown at the storeWhy understanding this formula gives you two clear starting points for reducing anxietyA preview of what we'll cover in the rest of this mini-seriesThis Week's Practice:When you feel anxious, get curious. Ask yourself:What is the specific threat my brain is perceiving right now?What is my brain telling me about my capacity to handle it?—Looking for more personalized support?Book a FREE discovery call for RESTORE, our 1:1 anxiety & depression coaching program (HSA/FSA eligible & includes comprehensive bloodwork)Join me inside Regulated Living, a mental health membership and nervous system healing space (sliding scale pricing available)Order my book, Healing Through the Vagus Nerve today!*Want me to talk about something specific on the podcast? Let me know HERE.Website: https://www.riseaswe.com/podcastEmail: [email protected]: https://www.instagram.com/amandaontherise/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@amandaontherise

I woke up anxious today and this conversation is about what I did to not let it ruin my day. 4am kid wake up, a bad dream, excitement, crappy sleep, all had my system wired from the minute I opened my eyes. I'd love to tell you I used this magic tool to regulate my nervous system and get on with my day, but instead what I want to share is the roller coaster of regulated, and re-regulated, and re-regulating that my day called for.ps. This is an episode re-post from 2024. It got deleted in a tech glitch and I wanted to give it back a place on the podcast.In this episode, you'll learn:How to do a quick nervous system check-in when you wake up activatedThe difference between "urge parenting" and "regulated parenting"Why your system might default to urgency even when you're not actually running lateHow to shift from sympathetic to parasympathetic states using breath, vision, and movementThree takeaways:Having a regulated nervous system doesn't mean you're regulated all the time. Part of regulation means having the ability to notice and ride those waves throughout the day.Moments of activation aren't points of failure, but points of practice. If you've spent a lot of time in survival mode, it's normal that your system is still primed for urgency—rewiring takes time and repetition.Your state determines your story. When you're dysregulated you  sees problems, when regulated you see solution and collaboration.—Looking for more personalized support?Book a FREE discovery call for RESTORE, our 1:1 anxiety & depression coaching program (HSA/FSA eligible & includes comprehensive bloodwork)Join me inside Regulated Living, a mental health membership and nervous system healing space (sliding scale pricing available)Order my book, Healing Through the Vagus Nerve today!*Want me to talk about something specific on the podcast? Let me know HERE.Website: https://www.riseaswe.com/podcastEmail: [email protected]: https://www.instagram.com/amandaontherise/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@amandaontherise

When hard things happen to our children (our ourselves), our instinct is often to protect them from discomfort at all costs. But what if the goal isn't to shield them from difficult experiences, but to support them through those experiences in ways that build resilience? In this episode, I share a recent scary experience with my 5-year-old son getting industrial paint in his eye, and how understanding nervous system principles helped turn a potentially traumatic moment into an opportunity for connection and growth.In this episode, you'll learn:What happened when my son got industrial paint in his eyeHow fear and urgency can hijack our parenting in the momentThe three elements we need to feel safeHow to support nervous system repair after overwhelming experiencesWhy the goal isn't to protect our kids from hard things, but to support them through themThe three elements children need to feel safe during and after difficult experiences3 Takeaways:Hard experiences become traumatic when context, choice, and connection aren't available or restored afterward. Repair is more important than preventing ruptures.Co-regulation is your most powerful tool. Your calm, regulated presence after a crisis helps your child's nervous system settle and process the experience in a healthy way.—Looking for more personalized support?Book a FREE discovery call for RESTORE, our 1:1 anxiety & depression coaching program (HSA/FSA eligible & includes comprehensive bloodwork)Join me inside Regulated Living, a mental health membership and nervous system healing space (sliding scale pricing available)Order my book, Healing Through the Vagus Nerve today!*Want me to talk about something specific on the podcast? Let me know HERE.Website: https://www.riseaswe.com/podcastEmail: [email protected]: https://www.instagram.com/amandaontherise/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@amandaontherise

Have you ever felt like you're chasing symptoms across your body—from anxiety and depression to gut issues, chronic fatigue, or autoimmune flares? In this episode, we discuss the direct biological link between your mental and physical health. We explore how a dysregulated nervous system can be a root cause of both chronic anxiety and chronic illness, and why healing requires a whole-person approach that looks beyond siloed symptoms to support the entire system.In this episode, you’ll learn:How chronic anxiety and stress can directly lead to physical issues like gut problems, hormone imbalance, and low immunity.The common root causes—like past trauma and gut health—that can trigger both mental and physical symptoms at the same time.Why mindset work alone often isn’t enough to heal symptoms that have a physical root cause.A whole-person approach to healing that addresses your body and mind as one interconnected system.3 Takeaways:Your mental and physical health are deeply intertwined. Nervous system dysregulation can trigger physical illness—and physical illness can reinforce dysregulation.Healing one area supports healing in others. When you do nervous system regulation work, you're supporting immune function, reducing inflammation, and creating optimal conditions for physical healing.A "both/and" approach works best. The most effective healing combines nervous system support with appropriate medical care, emotional healing with physical treatment, and symptom management with addressing root causes.—Looking for more personalized support?Book a FREE discovery call for RESTORE, our 1:1 anxiety & depression coaching program (HSA/FSA eligible & includes comprehensive bloodwork)Join me inside Regulated Living, a mental health membership and nervous system healing space (sliding scale pricing available)Order my book, Healing Through the Vagus Nerve today!*Want me to talk about something specific on the podcast? Let me know HERE.Website: https://www.riseaswe.com/podcastEmail: [email protected]: https://www.instagram.com/amandaontherise/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@amandaontherise

To wrap up our series on nervous system states, we move from theory to real life. This special episode features a powerful voice message from a listener named Brit, who shares a personal story of navigating a stressful travel day with her family. Her experience perfectly illustrates what it looks like when nervous system concepts become a lived reality. If you've ever wondered how this work actually unfolds over time, this episode offers a hopeful and practical look at the messy, imperfect, and beautiful journey of healing.In this episode, you’ll learn:Why nervous system healing is a gradual, layered process that takes time to integrate.What it looks like to move from intellectually understanding the tools to intuitively applying them in a stressful moment.How regulating your own nervous system positively impacts your family and relationships.Why the goal isn't to eliminate stress or never get activated, but to build flexibility and choice in how you respond.Key insights from the entire series to support you on your ongoing journey.3 Takeaways:Trust your own experience & be patient with the timeline.Start where you are & remember that setbacks are part of the process. The goal is flexibility and choice, not elimination of difficult experiences.—Looking for more personalized support?Book a FREE discovery call for RESTORE, our 1:1 anxiety & depression coaching program (HSA/FSA eligible & includes comprehensive bloodwork)Join me inside Regulated Living, a mental health membership and nervous system healing space (sliding scale pricing available)Order my book, Healing Through the Vagus Nerve today!*Want me to talk about something specific on the podcast? Let me know HERE.Website: https://www.riseaswe.com/podcastEmail: [email protected]: https://www.instagram.com/amandaontherise/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@amandaontherise

In this episode of our series on nervous system states, we explore the ultimate goal: more regulation. Amanda breaks down the physiology and psychology of this "green zone" state and provides a rich toolkit for moving to make it your new normal as she compassionately discusses understanding what regulation truly is, why your system might resist it, and how to proactively create more moments of it.*This episode serves as Part 5 in our "Different States Series"In this episode, you’ll learn:What regulation feels like in your body and how it improves your overall health.Why your nervous system might resist feeling calm, and how to gently work with that fear.A toolkit of simple, proactive practices to help you cultivate more safety and ease in your daily life.Why the true goal isn’t constant calm, but the flexibility to return to your regulated "home base" after stress.3 Takeaways:Regulation is a state of internal safety, not just the absence of stress. It’s about presence, flexibility, and connection—not perfection or perpetual calm.You may have to learn how to stay in regulation. Especially if calm feels unfamiliar, savoring these moments is a skill you can practice. Regulation is a practice, not a destination.You don’t heal just by surviving less—you heal by living more. Regulation allows space for the joy, rest, creativity, intimacy, and meaning that make life rich.—Looking for more personalized support?Book a FREE discovery call for RESTORE, our 1:1 anxiety & depression coaching program (HSA/FSA eligible & includes comprehensive bloodwork)Join me inside Regulated Living, a mental health membership and nervous system healing space (sliding scale pricing available)Order my book, Healing Through the Vagus Nerve today!*Want me to talk about something specific on the podcast? Let me know HERE.Website: https://www.riseaswe.com/podcastEmail: [email protected]: https://www.instagram.com/amandaontherise/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@amandaontherise

Shut down is your nervous system's most protective response. If you've ever felt heavy, numb, and completely disconnected from life—like you're moving through a thick fog with no energy or motivation—you've likely experienced a nervous system state called "shutdown." This episode offers a deeply compassionate guide to understanding this protective state and provides a roadmap of gentle, micro-steps to help you slowly and safely reconnect with yourself and the world.*This episode serves as Part 4 in our "Different States Series"In this episode, you’ll learn:Why shutdown happens, from chronic burnout and overwhelm to unresolved grief and past trauma.How to understand shutdown from a "parts work" perspective, seeing it as a protector trying to keep you from feeling more pain.A toolkit of gentle, sensory-based practices to slowly reawaken your system without causing more stress.Why patience is one of the most crucial tools when working with this state.3 Takeaways:Shutdown is protection, not pathology.Gentle presence is more powerful than forced productivity. In shutdown, your system needs safety and patience, not more pressure. Address the overwhelm, not just the symptoms. If shutdown is a pattern, it's often telling you something important about your life circumstances, past experiences, or internal dynamics.Tools/Resources for shut down:Gentle Sensation & Warmth: Hold a warm mug of tea or a heating pad, wrap yourself in a soft blanket, feel the texture of a piece of fabric, feel your feet on the floor.Gentle Breath & Sound: Make soft humming sounds or quiet "ahh" or "ohh" sounds that you can feel vibrating in your chest, listen to slow and comforting music or nature sounds.Orienting & Vision Resets: Slowly look around the room, gently turn your head from side to side, let your gaze soften and rest on something neutral or comforting.Micro-Movement: Wiggle your fingers and toes, gently roll your shoulders or circle your wrists, sway slowly while seated, stand near a window for a moment.Symbolic or Actual Connection: Text a safe person (no conversation needed), pet an animal or tend to a plant, look at a photo of someone you love, watch a familiar and comforting show.Voice & Self-Talk: Whisper comforting phrases to yourself like, "I'm right here," or "It's okay to rest," or "You matter to me."Parts Work: Get curious about the part of you that has gone offline. Offer it compassion and reassurance without pressure, saying things like, "Thank you for protecting me from pain. Right now, it's safe to feel just a little bit."—Looking for more personalized support?Book a FREE discovery call for RESTORE, our 1:1 anxiety & depression coaching program (HSA/FSA eligible & includes comprehensive bloodwork)Join me inside Regulated Living, a mental health membership and nervous system healing space (sliding scale pricing available)Order my book, Healing Through the Vagus Nerve today!*Want me to talk about something specific on the podcast? Let me know HERE.Website: https://www.riseaswe.com/podcastEmail: [email protected]: https://www.instagram.com/amandaontherise/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@amandaontherise