Soft And Strong. How Not To Be A Pushover In Divorce

Send us a text You don’t have to choose between being kind and being clear.In this episode of Reflect, Reclaim & Liberate, I share how to bring gentle strength & quiet power into mediation, so you can stand firm on what matters without escalating conflict.In this episode I outline:Why you feel pressured to pick a side - agreeable or aggressiveWhat it looks like to be anchored in your non-negotiables and open to creative solutionsThe power of knowing your core values and acting in alignment with themHow to model healthy boundaries and respect for your childrenThree small practices you can start using right nowWhether you’re still to have to opening conversation about separation with your partner, you're preparing for mediation, in the messy middle of divorce or simply learning to advocate for yourself with more clarity and calm, this episode will help you reclaim your voice, anchor into your quiet power, and stay soft but also strong. And protect what matters most to you.Sallyanne Hartnell - Divorce Coach & Strategist How you can work with me Book a free intro call Join the waitlist for my group program Decide & Thrive Free Resources & Downloads- Choose You Guidebook- Having Hard Conversations - done for you scripts- Divorce with Less Drama - The Masterclass Follow me on INSTAGRAMAll relationships are welcomed and supported at Reflect Coaching 🏳️‍🌈This podcast is recorded on the land of the Wurundjeri people, the Traditional Custodians of this Land & its first story tellers. I pay respect to the Elders both past and present of the Kulin Nation & to any First Nations people listening.Please note: all podcast content is general information only, not legal advice or information. Please seek specialist advice to support you & your unique circumstances.

Send us a textIn this episode, I’m joined by Darren Mort — a Melbourne-based family law barrister, producer, and passionate advocate for children’s wellbeing in the context of separation and divorce.With decades of experience working in family law including complex and high-conflict cases, Darren’s s impact goes well beyond the courtroom.Darren is the founder of the To Be Loved Network, a charity dedicated to creating educational media content that supports children navigating parental separation.His powerful, award winning short films Tommy and Milly are used to drive understanding about the impact of family conflict on children and to change in family law systems.We talk about:The rise of family violence in AustraliaWhy children’s voices need to be heard in separation and divorceHow Darren combines his legal work with creative storytellingThe real impact of high-conflict separation on childrenHis award-winning book Tommy & Tiger Terry, and films Tommy & MillieWhat he's learned as both a family law expert and a fatherThe changes he’d most like to see made to the family law courtHow parents can support the emotional well-being of their children through separation, divorce and beyondThis is a powerful conversation about creating better outcomes for families - especially the youngest ones caught in the middle.Links & Resources: 🔗 To Be Loved Network  🔗  Darren Mort - BarristerSallyanne Hartnell - Divorce Coach & Strategist How you can work with me Book a free intro call Join the waitlist for my group program Decide & Thrive Free Resources & Downloads- Choose You Guidebook- Having Hard Conversations - done for you scripts- Divorce with Less Drama - The Masterclass Follow me on INSTAGRAMAll relationships are welcomed and supported at Reflect Coaching 🏳️‍🌈This podcast is recorded on the land of the Wurundjeri people, the Traditional Custodians of this Land & its first story tellers. I pay respect to the Elders both past and present of the Kulin Nation & to any First Nations people listening.Please note: all podcast content is general information only, not legal advice or information. Please seek specialist advice to support you & your unique circumstances.

Send us a textDivorce as more than just an ending. It's a reckoning. An awakening.Whether you’re in the early stages of separation, in the messy middle, or still quietly sitting in the “should I stay or go?” space, this episode is for you.Divorce is rarely just the ending of a relationship. It can interrupt your identity, shake you to your core.And it can also be the powerful beginning of something deeply aligned and beautifully true.I will lead you through the 5 R’s: Reflect, Release, Realign, Rebuild, and RiseYou’ll be invited to reconnect with yourself, tune into your truth, and begin to consciously shape what’s next.We’ll unpack:Why divorce is rarely just about the end of a relationshipHow the “quiet after” can become the most powerful space of allWhat it looks like to stop surviving and start awakeningHow to begin again - unapologetically and on your own termsThis episode is your reminder that the most important relationship you’ll ever have is the one you have with yourself. And it’s never too late to rise.#divorce #divorcepodcast #healingafterdivorce #divorcesupport #divorcecoach #stayorgo #shouldIstayorshouldIgoSallyanne Hartnell - Divorce Coach & Strategist How you can work with me Book a free intro call Join the waitlist for my group program Decide & Thrive Free Resources & Downloads- Choose You Guidebook- Having Hard Conversations - done for you scripts- Divorce with Less Drama - The Masterclass Follow me on INSTAGRAMAll relationships are welcomed and supported at Reflect Coaching 🏳️‍🌈This podcast is recorded on the land of the Wurundjeri people, the Traditional Custodians of this Land & its first story tellers. I pay respect to the Elders both past and present of the Kulin Nation & to any First Nations people listening.Please note: all podcast content is general information only, not legal advice or information. Please seek specialist advice to support you & your unique circumstances.

Send us a text Two of the most powerful words in any relationship? “I’m sorry.” In this episode, we explore what a true apology sounds like. No shame, blame or guilt. No excuses, no “I'm sorry but,” no deflection. Just accountability, humility, and the choice to take radical personal responsibility and own your part.Whether you're navigating separation, divorce, co-parenting, or simply reflecting on past patterns, this conversation is a reminder that real repair doesn’t come from blame, but from ownership, accountability, and courage.We talk about:Why apologising isn’t weakness, it’s growthWhat a genuine apology sounds like (and what it doesn’t)The impact of apology in post-divorce healing and co-parentingLetting go of waiting for an apology you may never getIf you're holding out for someone else's “I’m sorry,” this episode might help you let go and begin your own repair.#divorce #divorcepodcast #healingafterdivorce #divorcesupport #divorcecoach #stayorgo #shouldIstayorshouldIgoSallyanne Hartnell - Divorce Coach & Strategist How you can work with me Book a free intro call Join the waitlist for my group program Decide & Thrive Free Resources & Downloads- Choose You Guidebook- Having Hard Conversations - done for you scripts- Divorce with Less Drama - The Masterclass Follow me on INSTAGRAMAll relationships are welcomed and supported at Reflect Coaching 🏳️‍🌈This podcast is recorded on the land of the Wurundjeri people, the Traditional Custodians of this Land & its first story tellers. I pay respect to the Elders both past and present of the Kulin Nation & to any First Nations people listening.Please note: all podcast content is general information only, not legal advice or information. Please seek specialist advice to support you & your unique circumstances.

Send us a textFinancial Freedom After Divorce: Getting Unstuck with Your Time, Energy & MoneyWith Josh Pennell - The Family Finance GuyDivorce can leave you feeling stuck—financially, emotionally, and energetically.In this episode, financial advisor Josh Pennell shares how to rebuild with intention and achieve true financial freedom after divorce.Learn how to consciously spend your time, energy, and money to create a thriving future.I’m joined by Financial Advisor and best-selling author Josh Pennell, also known as The Family Finance Guy. With 20 years of experience and a deep understanding of the emotional and practical realities of money, Josh helps people move from feeling stuck to thriving financially.We talk about more than just dollars and cents. Josh shares how becoming intentional with your resources - time, energy, focus, and money -is key to creating a life you love after divorce.Together, we explore:How to start feeling confident and in control of your finances againWhy “balance” might be the wrong goal (and what to aim for instead)How to make strategic, considered decisions that support your futureThe power of conscious spending - not just money, but time and energy tooWhy divorce can be the catalyst for real, lasting financial freedomJosh brings both professional insight and personal experience as a dad and step-dad to four kids, offering practical advice that’s grounded in real life.Whether you're thinking about separating, newly divorced or years past, this episode will help you reframe your relationship with money and start moving forward - with clarity and confidence.Connect with Josh HERESallyanne Hartnell - Divorce Coach & Strategist How you can work with me Book a free intro call Join the waitlist for my group program Decide & Thrive Free Resources & Downloads- Choose You Guidebook- Having Hard Conversations - done for you scripts- Divorce with Less Drama - The Masterclass Follow me on INSTAGRAMAll relationships are welcomed and supported at Reflect Coaching 🏳️‍🌈This podcast is recorded on the land of the Wurundjeri people, the Traditional Custodians of this Land & its first story tellers. I pay respect to the Elders both past and present of the Kulin Nation & to any First Nations people listening.Please note: all podcast content is general information only, not legal advice or information. Please seek specialist advice to support you & your unique circumstances.

Send us a textAll The Firsts After Separation & DivorceNo one prepares you for all the firsts after separation or divorce.The first night alone in your home.The first birthday you’re not there to wake your child.The first family dinner, school event, or holiday morning without your usual rituals.They’re more than emotional. They shake your sense of identity. They make it real.And they can leave you feeling heartbroken, unanchored, and unsure how to hold yourself through it all.In this episode, I talk about:What makes these “firsts” so hardWhy it’s not just grief. It’s identity, fear, and even guiltHow to support and scaffold yourself through themSimple ways to create space for both the pain and possibilityWhether you're still in the thick of it, or quietly reflecting on how far you’ve come, this episode is a gentle reminder:You’re not alone.You’re doing something brave.It's hard, and heartbreaking, but not impossible.And one moment at a time is more than enough.🔗 Need more support? Book a Clarity Consult with me hereSallyanne Hartnell - Divorce Coach & Strategist How you can work with me Book a free intro call Join the waitlist for my group program Decide & Thrive Free Resources & Downloads- Choose You Guidebook- Having Hard Conversations - done for you scripts- Divorce with Less Drama - The Masterclass Follow me on INSTAGRAMAll relationships are welcomed and supported at Reflect Coaching 🏳️‍🌈This podcast is recorded on the land of the Wurundjeri people, the Traditional Custodians of this Land & its first story tellers. I pay respect to the Elders both past and present of the Kulin Nation & to any First Nations people listening.Please note: all podcast content is general information only, not legal advice or information. Please seek specialist advice to support you & your unique circumstances.

Send us a textReclaiming Rage - The Anger We Were Never Allowed to Feel - And the Radical Act of Asking for MoreWhy Women Still Need Permission to Be Angry, Ask for More, and Be HeardWhat if your anger isn’t a problem… but a powerful kind of truth?In this episode, we’re diving into the uncomfortable, untamed, and deeply important topic of rage—especially the rage women have been conditioned to repress, soften, and silence.We talk about why women are still taught not to be angry, how family and cultural dynamics shape our emotional expression, and the radical act of asking for more when you've been told to stay small.Whether you’ve ever felt frustrated, overlooked, or like your needs always come last—this conversation is for you.We’ll explore:Why anger is still seen as confronting, unacceptable, unfeminine in womenHow rage is often buried under and relabelled as exhaustion, frustration, or sadnessWhat happens when we stop asking for what we want & need, and stop expecting to be heardThe emotional and physical cost of repressing angerWhy reclaiming your rage can be life-changingPractical ways to express anger in healthy, clear, honest waysPlus: journal prompts, reflective questions, and a call to bravely own your truth without apology.Because your anger isn’t too much. It’s a message. A compass.It points to your truth—and something in you that knows things need to change.Journal Prompts From the Episode:Where am I softening my truth to keep the peace?What does my anger want me to know?What would it look like to let myself fully feel—without apology?Sallyanne Hartnell - Divorce Coach & Strategist How you can work with me Book a free intro call Join the waitlist for my group program Decide & Thrive Free Resources & Downloads- Choose You Guidebook- Having Hard Conversations - done for you scripts- Divorce with Less Drama - The Masterclass Follow me on INSTAGRAMAll relationships are welcomed and supported at Reflect Coaching 🏳️‍🌈This podcast is recorded on the land of the Wurundjeri people, the Traditional Custodians of this Land & its first story tellers. I pay respect to the Elders both past and present of the Kulin Nation & to any First Nations people listening.Please note: all podcast content is general information only, not legal advice or information. Please seek specialist advice to support you & your unique circumstances.

Send us a textLiving Together Apart – Separated Under One Roof: Tips For Doing It WellLiving together after separating can be a helpful short-term transition... or an emotional, logistical, and legal minefield.In this episode, I’m diving into what it really takes to make it work if you and your ex are still sharing a home.Note: this is an updated take on an earlier episode — so if you haven’t already, go back and listen to the first one for the full picture.I’ll talk you through:The key boundaries, conversations, and legal considerations you need to think aboutThe pros and cons of this setup and why it needs structure, transparency, and early legal adviceThe financial pros (and the often hidden emotional cons) of delaying the move to two homesWhere to get the right kind of support — emotionally, practically, and legallyLiving together while separated can ease the transition for everyone involved if it’s done well. That means boundaries, clear communication, and planning your next steps.If you would like a deeper conversation about this book a free intro call or Clarity Consult HERESallyanne Hartnell - Divorce Coach & Strategist How you can work with me Book a free intro call Join the waitlist for my group program Decide & Thrive Free Resources & Downloads- Choose You Guidebook- Having Hard Conversations - done for you scripts- Divorce with Less Drama - The Masterclass Follow me on INSTAGRAMAll relationships are welcomed and supported at Reflect Coaching 🏳️‍🌈This podcast is recorded on the land of the Wurundjeri people, the Traditional Custodians of this Land & its first story tellers. I pay respect to the Elders both past and present of the Kulin Nation & to any First Nations people listening.Please note: all podcast content is general information only, not legal advice or information. Please seek specialist advice to support you & your unique circumstances.

Send us a textHow do you really know when it’s over?Not when the signs are loud or obvious, but when a quiet internal voice keeps whispering that this might not be where you're meant to stay. When inside, there’s a sense of disconnect you can’t ignore.In this episode, I explore the quiet, internal signs that your marriage or long-term relationship may have run its course, even when there’s no big betrayal or explosive ending.How your body often knows the truth before your mind is ready to admit it.Why it’s so hard to acknowledge that an “OK” relationship might not be the right one anymore.And what to do if you’re emotionally or practically at a crossroads.This is for you if you're❥ lying awake at night wondering and asking the same questions on loop❥ second-guessing your own feelings...❥ exhausted, confused, or quietly grieving something that hasn’t ended yet.What You’ll Hear in This Episode:❥ The most common (and surprising) ways your body might signal that something’s not right❥ What it means to feel drained vs. energised in a relationship❥ Why it doesn’t have to be “bad” to be no longer right❥ How fear, guilt, and overthinking keep you stuck❥ The difference between disconnection and normal relationship seasons❥ What to do when you're not sure you're ready, but you know something needs to changeSallyanne Hartnell - Divorce Coach & Strategist How you can work with me Book a free intro call Join the waitlist for my group program Decide & Thrive Free Resources & Downloads- Choose You Guidebook- Having Hard Conversations - done for you scripts- Divorce with Less Drama - The Masterclass Follow me on INSTAGRAMAll relationships are welcomed and supported at Reflect Coaching 🏳️‍🌈This podcast is recorded on the land of the Wurundjeri people, the Traditional Custodians of this Land & its first story tellers. I pay respect to the Elders both past and present of the Kulin Nation & to any First Nations people listening.Please note: all podcast content is general information only, not legal advice or information. Please seek specialist advice to support you & your unique circumstances.

Send us a textYou’ve probably heard the phrase conscious uncoupling.Maybe you rolled your eyes when Gwyneth and Chris made it famous, or maybe it struck a deep chord. Either way, in this episode, I’m diving into what it really means to consciously uncouple, and why it can be a powerful, healing path through separation and divorce.I talk about where the idea came from (hint: it wasn’t actually Gwyneth), what it looks like in real life, and the kind of mindset shift it asks of you.I also share a little of my own story - how my ex-husband and I chose to separate while still seeing ourselves as a family - and how this choice shaped not just our co-parenting, but our kids' sense of safety and connection.Whether you’re still in the thick of deciding, already separating, or wanting to make this transition with care, this episode offers real insight into how you can move through it with compassion, courage, even love.Tune in to hear: ❥ Where the concept of conscious uncoupling really came from ❥ What it looks like when done well and when it doesn’t work ❥ The importance of emotional regulation, personal responsibility, respect, and mutual care ❥ How supporting the parents supports the whole family — kids (and even the dog) included ❥ Tips if you you’re navigating this kind of separation (or you want to) ❥ My role as your uncoupling coach: strategic insight with heart, a steady, trusted guideIf you’re feeling uncertain about your relationship, asking hard questions, or already navigating separation… listen in. And then, let’s chat about what's possible for you and your family.Sallyanne Hartnell - Divorce Coach & Strategist How you can work with me Book a free intro call Join the waitlist for my group program Decide & Thrive Free Resources & Downloads- Choose You Guidebook- Having Hard Conversations - done for you scripts- Divorce with Less Drama - The Masterclass Follow me on INSTAGRAMAll relationships are welcomed and supported at Reflect Coaching 🏳️‍🌈This podcast is recorded on the land of the Wurundjeri people, the Traditional Custodians of this Land & its first story tellers. I pay respect to the Elders both past and present of the Kulin Nation & to any First Nations people listening.Please note: all podcast content is general information only, not legal advice or information. Please seek specialist advice to support you & your unique circumstances.