RAR #278: How to Actually Connect with Our Kids, Dr. Matthew Breuninger

Learning to read can be hard. And when our kids are still learning to read fluently and well, helping them fall in love with books can feel impossible.But it doesn’t have to be that way.Today on the show, I’m sharing some strategies to help hook your developing reader. And of course, I have some suggestions for books that they won’t be able to resist.In this episode, you’ll hear: Why helping your kids fall in love with story is the the key to helping them fall in love with reading The way short, frequent phonics and reading sessions propel budding readers toward fluency and easeHow to become a book-matchmaker for your child Learn more about Sarah Mackenzie:Read-Aloud RevivalWaxwing BooksSubscribe to the NewsletterFind the rest of the show notes at: readaloudrevival.com/child-resists-reading

We all want to build those meaningful and lasting connections with our kids. Around here, we’re usually talking about doing that through books and reading aloud. But how do we extend these connections into our everyday, ordinary parenting moments?  Today, I’m talking to one of my favorite people to listen to when it comes to relationships. Dr Matthew Breuninger is a clinical psychologist and author of Finding Freedom in Christ: Healing Life’s Hurts and in this episode he shares how safe, secure attachment forms the foundation of close relationships with our kids and how to repair them when we inevitably mess up. He also unpacks the very common tendency a lot of us have to view our children’s behavior as a reflection on us, and offers a beautiful reminder of where our deepest identity as parents comes from (spoiler alert: it’s not your performance. ❤️)In this episode, you’ll hear: What foundational perspective parents can offer to shape our kids relationships with us and othersWhy ruptures are inevitable in all our relationships, and how we can approach repairHow our kids become mirrors for the wounds and self-protection strategies we need to work on in ourselvesLearn more about Sarah Mackenzie:Read-Aloud RevivalWaxwing BooksSubscribe to the NewsletterFind the rest of the show notes at: readaloudrevival.com/connecting-with-your-kids/

Today, we’re revisiting a listener-favorite episode that has some advice and an activity that I think are perfect for this time of year in our homeschools.Jon Acuff, author of All It Takes Is a Goal, joined me a while back for a perspective-shifting conversation about setting and achieving goals for our homeschools, and how looking back at our best moments, from major milestones to pockets of joy, helps us envision the kind of future we really want. Jon also shares some practical tips for reframing the urge to compare ourselves to others, especially on social media, giving ourselves credit for what we’re already doing–because it’s definitely more than you think–and approaching goals with a “some is better than none” mindset.In this episode, you’ll hear: How taking stock of your past best moments helps you be more grateful and present for the moments happening right nowWhy having dreams and goals bigger than your calendar is actually a gift A simple key to finding goals that work for you and your family Learn more about Sarah Mackenzie:Read-Aloud RevivalWaxwing BooksSubscribe to the NewsletterFind the rest of the show notes at: readaloudrevival.com/jon-acuff

We talk a lot around here about the incredible impact stories have on our kids. They build empathy and connection, letting us walk a mile in another’s shoes. And some stories also help us see what it looks like to be brave and courageous, even in the face of fear or daunting challenges.Today, Audrey is back to talk with me about how stories inspire courage in our kids and ourselves and can connect us to profound truths, no matter how fantastical the setting.In this episode, you’ll hear: How stories become companions to us through challenging seasons Which stories have shaped Sarah and Audrey’s own lives The ways myths can echo profound truths to us that feed our hearts and minds and inspire heroic virtueLearn more about Sarah Mackenzie:Read-Aloud RevivalWaxwing BooksSubscribe to the NewsletterFind the rest of the show notes at: readaloudrevival.com/inspiring-heroic-virtue

Why do we read aloud to our kids? Especially those who can read to themselves? This is a topic that comes up all the time at Read-Aloud Revival and it’s one I’m super passionate about. It’s foundational to what we do around here and I firmly believe it’s vital to our kids becoming lifelong readers. In this episode, we’re talking about the impact reading aloud has on our children, regardless of their independent reading level. Research shows that there are many benefits to reading aloud to your kids, and today, we’re going to focus on five of the most important ones.In this episode, you’ll hear:How books educate the heart as well as the mind, growing perspective and empathyThe incredible impact of reading aloud on academic performance, language development, information processing, expression (the list goes on!)How reading aloud builds community, strengthens family bonds, reduces stress and anxiety, and enriches time spent togetherLearn more about Sarah Mackenzie:Read-Aloud RevivalWaxwing BooksSubscribe to the NewsletterFind the rest of the show notes at: readaloudrevival.com/why

Today’s episode is a special treat featuring the return of a listener-favorite guest who happens to be one of my favorite people, too. 😉Back on episode 209, my eldest daughter, Audrey joined me to share her perspective on what it was like growing up in our bustling homeschool family. Ever since that episode aired, listeners have asked for updates on what she’s up to and how she’s doing. Suffice it to say, she’s had a few more adventures since we recorded that episode!So I’m delighted to welcome Audrey back to the podcast to talk through some of your frequent questions about what has shaped her as a writer, the importance of boredom and wonder, and how simple conversations lay the foundation for imaginative language and writing. In this episode, you’ll hear: How read-alouds, audiobooks, and poetry shaped Audrey’s love of languageWhy having experiences out in the world (even in your own backyard!) is essential for budding creativesOur favorite way to help kids make connections and ask better questions and become better writers Learn more about Sarah Mackenzie:Read-Aloud RevivalWaxwing BooksSubscribe to the NewsletterFind the rest of the show notes at: readaloudrevival.com/catch-up

If I were to ask you if your life ever felt tranquil, you would probably do one of two things: bust out laughing or look at me like I was from another planet.I get it, I really do. Which is why I’m so excited to have the author of one of my absolute tippy-top recommended books with me today. Laura Vanderkam is a time management expert, mother of five, and the author of Tranquility by Tuesday: 9 Ways to Calm the Chaos and Make Time for What Matters. Laura suggests that to bring more tranquility to our abundant, unpredictable lives, we don’t need a perfect schedule, what we need is a resilient schedule. In the book, she outlines nine ways that will help us manage the chaos and live joyful, sustainable lives. It sounds much more accessible, right? Today, we’re going to talk about how we can actually achieve tranquility in our lives, even in the busiest phases of our lives.In this episode, you’ll hear: How to reframe the way you think about how much time you have (hint: it might be more than you think!) Why doing something three times a week counts as a habitThe rule that gets the most resistance, and why sticking to it is so essentialLearn more about Sarah Mackenzie:Read-Aloud RevivalWaxwing BooksSubscribe to the NewsletterFind the rest of the show notes at: readaloudrevival.com/laura-vanderkam

What if I told you there’s an Icelandic Christmas tradition where the whole point is to spend an evening sitting around, sipping hot cocoa, and reading books?Sign me up, right?Today, we’re talking about Jolabokaflod, which loosely translates to “Yule Book Flood,” how it started, and how you can bring the magic of this bookish tradition into your home this Christmas.In this episode, you’ll hear: Where the Icelandic Yule Book Flood first beganHow Jolabokaflod is an invitation to slow down and connect with each other during the busy Christmas seasonThe only three things you need for your Jolabokaflod, plus tips from RAR members on how they celebrate Learn more about Sarah Mackenzie:Read-Aloud RevivalWaxwing BooksSubscribe to the NewsletterFind the rest of the show notes at: readaloudrevival.com/icelandic-christmas

We all know there is no shortage of Christmas picture books out there. But for a book to make it onto my kids’ Christmas stack or onto a Read Aloud Revival Christmas Book List, it has to be excellent. And the books we choose for Christmas School? Those are the ones that go above and beyond excellent and are some of our most treasured, tippy-top favorite Christmas read-alouds.Today, I have the author-illustrator of one of my all-time favorite Christmas picture books, Red and Lulu, with me. You might recognize Matt Tavares from his beloved books Zachary's Ball, Becoming Babe Ruth, or Growing Up Pedro or from his delightful Christmas books in the Dasher series. He’s here to tell us all about his writing and illustrating process, why he loves writing Christmas picture books, and how he created the enchanting journey of Red and Lulu.  In this episode, you’ll hear: How he sets the mood for creating snowy, winter scenes even in the middle of summer  What Matt always keeps in mind about his audience when writing picture booksThe inspiration behind the tale of Red and Lulu and their journey to New York CityLearn more about Sarah Mackenzie:Read-Aloud RevivalWaxwing BooksSubscribe to the NewsletterFind the rest of the show notes at: readaloudrevival.com/matt-tavares

Hey hey, it's Sarah Mackenzie!I am here with a bonus episode. I host another podcast — it's called Circle with Sarah— and it's a short, weekly podcast that helps all of us become the peace-filled, joyful mamas we're called to be. It goes up at RAR Premium every Monday during the school year. Recently, I recorded an episode for that podcast called "God is Not Disappointed in You." And not only did it really resonate with RAR Premium members, but we got several requests from members to please post this on the Read-Aloud Revival podcast so they could share it with their friends even if their friends weren't inside RAR Premium. Here's the episode:In our recent Circle with Sarah Retreat, you were all invited to submit questions about maintaining peace in your homeschool, because of course that was our theme, and so many of you did!It has been just a complete joy to read through those and consider them. Almost 120 questions came in actually, and we were only able to touch on a few during the retreat, and then we touched on a few more in our last Circle with Sarah Live.But as I was reading through your questions and just prayerfully considering how to answer them, one thing jumped out at me over and over again. I mentioned it, actually, at the very end of the September Circle with Sarah Live. It's this pervasive fear that so many of us have that really feeds into our anxiety about our homeschools and our kids and our parenting and our worry that we're not doing a good enough job with any of it. And the underlying belief that is a problem here is that we believe that God is disappointed in us as homeschooling moms, that we're failing Him, and He's disappointed.And I think this fear is probably exaggerated somewhat for us if we had a father or really any authority figure over us at any point in our lives who did express chronic disappointment in us. I think then it's very easy to translate that into feeling like God must also be feeling disappointed in us. That seems like the easiest thing to believe, like the truest thing.But listen to me, God is not disappointed in you. He is not surprised by anything you are facing in your life, your motherhood, your homeschool, your marriage, any of it. He's not surprised by any of it. On your absolute worst days, He's not surprised by how you acted or reacted. He already knows the worst and hardest and most challenging things that you are facing right now, and He loves you and He's calling you to this work anyway.He actually never asks us to be good enough. And He never asks us to get this just right. And I think it's worth remembering that He didn't actually think you would do a better job than you're doing. He's all knowing. He's sovereign. He didn't think you'd do a better job than you're doing at anything, in any part of your life. And He's not disappointed in you. I wonder if you can sit with that for just a second, like really sit with it? I want to read from Psalm 103:"The Lord is merciful and gracious,    slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love."Later in that same psalm we read, "For He knows our frame;    He remembers that we are dust."So He knows who we are. He knows our capabilities, He knows our limits, He knows our frame, and He remembers that we are dust. And yet He is merciful and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in steadfast love.I wonder if you can say that out loud to yourself. God is not disappointed in me. Try it.How did that feel? Did it feel true? Did your voice wobble? Did you feel choked up? Did you feel like, I don't know if that's true? Listen, this is what you can say to yourself and know it is true. God is not disappointed in me. He is not disappointed in my kids. He is not disappointed in my homeschool. He is not disappointed in how I cook or how badly I cook. He is not disappointed in how clean I keep the house or how much laundry I got done this week, or whether I even touched it at all. Whether I ever follow through on teaching my kids chores or following up on that character issue or taking care of the parenting issues that are screaming at us in the face. He is not disappointed in how often I read aloud or how much homeschool we got done, or how many activities my kids are in, or whether my kids are still in their pajamas at 4:00 PM. None of this is a disappointment or a surprise to Him. He loves me. He loves you. And He promises us peace that transcends all understanding.That's a big one so I'm just going to leave us here today. We're going to come back to it again next week. But I wonder if at different points during your week, you can remind yourself, God is not disappointed in me. Write it on a post-it. Put it in a few different places. Put it wherever you brush your teeth. Put it where you wash your dishes, put it in the car when you're getting in the car to take your kids to activities or run an errand. Put it by your coffee pot in the morning. God is not disappointed in me. Write it down. See if you can maybe start to believe that this week and we'll circle back to it next week. You have everything you need to teach with peace that transcends with all understanding. You were made for this life. I'm praying for you.--- If you want a podcast episode like this to start each week on the right foot, you probably want RAR Premium—that's where you get access to the CWS podcast. Find out more at rarpremium.com or circlewithsarah.com.