How Couples Can Navigate the "Messy Middle" After Betrayal Trauma

PSR Podcast is a listener supported outreach of Be Broken Ministries. Partner with us through giving at BeBroken.org/donate. Thank you for your support!----------In this episode, I sit down with Karla Summey, an APSATS coach and couples recovery specialist, to explore the “messy middle” couples face after sexual betrayal. Karla shares her personal and professional insights on navigating the emotional ups and downs, rebuilding trust, and redefining relationships. We discuss the importance of emotional regulation, transparency, and patience, emphasizing that recovery isn’t linear. Karla offers hope and practical advice for couples feeling stuck, highlighting the value of community, self-care, and taking small steps forward. It’s an honest, encouraging conversation for any couple walking this difficult road. To learn more about Karla and her resources, visit KarlaSummey.com. Topics Covered in this Episode:The concept of "the messy middle" in recovery after sexual betrayal.The emotional and relational challenges couples face during the recovery process.The importance of individual and couple growth in navigating betrayal trauma.The role of emotional regulation and communication in rebuilding trust.Common assumptions couples have about returning to their previous relationship dynamics.The significance of transparency and initiative from the betrayer in the recovery journey.The non-linear nature of recovery, including setbacks and progress.Strategies for emotional co-regulation and support between partners.The vision for couples beyond the messy middle, focusing on security and intimacy.The importance of community and shared experiences in the healing process.More Resources:Messy Middle Couple's Recovery GroupOnline Care Groups for WivesGateway to Freedom 3-Day Intensive for MenRelated Podcasts:Early Recovery Couples Empathy ModelThe Three Phases of Couples RecoveryThe Recovery Process for Couples----------Please rate and review our podcast: Apple PodcastsFollow us on our Vimeo Channel.

PSR Podcast is a listener supported outreach of Be Broken Ministries. Partner with us through giving at BeBroken.org/donate. Thank you for your support!----------In today’s episode, I sit down with Mary DeMuth, author of Restory Your Life, to talk about her powerful journey from childhood trauma and sexual abuse to healing and restoration through faith in Jesus. Mary shares how storytelling, community, and embracing our identity in Christ help us move from brokenness to wholeness. We discuss the ongoing nature of healing, the importance of safe spaces to share our unfiltered stories, and how God can re-story our lives for hope and purpose. Mary’s honesty and wisdom offer encouragement for anyone seeking restoration and a new chapter in their story. To learn more about Mary and get her books, visit MaryDeMuth.com.Topics Covered in this Episode: Mary Demuth's personal journey of healing from childhood trauma and sexual abuse.The role of faith in Jesus in the healing process.The concept of restoration as a journey from brokenness to wholeness.The importance of storytelling and community in healing.The idea of "re-storying" one's life and redefining identity through faith.The ongoing nature of healing and the layers involved in trauma recovery.The significance of expressing thoughts and sharing experiences to break cycles of pain.The distinction between healing and maturing in the context of personal growth.Practical tools for restoration, including journaling and reflecting on one's story.The need for safe spaces in communities, particularly churches, to discuss and address issues of sexual abuse.More Resources:Restory Your Life* by Mary DeMuthThe Wall Around Your Heart* by Mary DeMuthSex & Anxiety (online course)Related Podcasts:Help and Hope for Women to Heal from Sexual AbuseLord Be Near: Finding Hope in Suffering through PrayerFreedom and Healing from Shame, Addiction, and Abuse*This is an affiliate link. Be Broken may earn referral fees on purchases through this link.----------Please rate and review our podcast: Apple PodcastsFollow us on our Vimeo Channel.

PSR Podcast is a listener supported outreach of Be Broken Ministries. Partner with us through giving at BeBroken.org/donate. Thank you for your support!----------In this episode, I sit down with Drs. Matt and Laura Burton to talk about rebuilding a marriage after sexual betrayal. We explore their personal recovery and healing journeys, the challenges of rebuilding trust, and why true recovery goes beyond just sobriety. The Burtons share insights on the importance of involving both partners, the process of compassionate disclosure, and how addressing deeper wounds is key to restoring relationships. Their warmth and expertise offer hope and practical guidance for any couple navigating the difficult path toward renewed connection and trust after infidelity or addiction.To learn more about Matt and Laura and their resources for couples, visit MyBecomingWell.com.Topics Covered in this Episode:Counseling for couples and individuals dealing with sexual addiction and infidelity.Personal recovery journeys of the speakers and their professional experiences.Challenges in rebuilding trust after sexual betrayal.The importance of involving both partners in the recovery process.Complexities of recovery beyond mere sobriety, including intimacy and attachment issues.The significance of relational healing in the recovery journey.The concept of "gentle disclosure" in the context of rebuilding trust.The emotional realities and fears faced by both partners after betrayal.The necessity of addressing underlying issues and pre-existing wounds in recovery.Resources and support available for couples navigating the aftermath of sexual betrayal.More Resources:3-Day Couple's Group IntensivesRebuilding Trust* by Matt & Laura BurtonMore Books and Workbooks by Matt & Laura BurtonRelated Podcasts:The Three Phases of Couples RecoveryHelping Couples Walk the Path of Restoration After Sexual BetrayalThe Journey to Stay (with Steve and Lisa Goldberg)*This is an affiliate link. Be Broken may earn referral fees on purchases through this link.----------Please rate and review our podcast: Apple PodcastsFollow us on our Vimeo Channel.

PSR Podcast is a listener supported outreach of Be Broken Ministries. Partner with us through giving at BeBroken.org/donate. Thank you for your support!----------In this episode of "Family Time," I sit down with Norma Q-Brown, our Family Care Director, to discuss how parents can confidently guide their kids through a sex-saturated culture. We focus on the second critical conversation: teaching children about God’s design for sex. Norma shares practical advice for having ongoing, honest, and grace-filled talks, addressing common barriers and emphasizing the importance of building trust.We encourage parents to be vulnerable, seek God’s wisdom, and create a safe space for questions—reminding everyone that these conversations are a journey we take together as families.For all our Family Care resources, visit Bebroken.org/family.Topics Covered in this Episode:Introduction of the "Family Time" segment aimed at helping parents engage with their children.Discussion on the importance of proactive conversations about sex from a biblical perspective.Emphasis on the foundational elements of family care ministry, particularly "God's Design for Sex."The significance of teaching children about authority and God's design in a sex-saturated culture.Explanation of covenant relationships and the boundaries set by God regarding sex.Challenges parents face in discussing sex, including personal trauma and cultural pressures.The importance of ongoing, age-appropriate conversations about sex and sexuality.Strategies for parents to foster open dialogue, including asking questions and being honest.Resources and tools available for parents to aid in these discussions.Encouragement for parents to seek God's wisdom and guidance in navigating these conversations.Resources for Next Steps:Critical Conversation Online Course (free)God Made Your Body* by Jim BurnsHonest Talk: The GameFor more parenting podcasts, go to Bebroken.org/tp-pods and scroll to Family Bundles.*This is an affiliate link. Be Broken may earn referral fees on purchases through this link.----------Please rate and review our podcast: Apple PodcastsFollow us on our Vimeo Channel.

PSR Podcast is a listener supported outreach of Be Broken Ministries. Partner with us through giving at BeBroken.org/donate. Thank you for your support!----------In this episode, I sit down with Anne Edward, who shares her powerful journey from childhood trauma and same-sex attraction to finding hope, healing, and her true identity in Jesus Christ. Anne opens up about her struggles, the process of forgiveness, and how embracing her God-given identity led to transformation. We discuss why true change goes deeper than behavior—it's about understanding who we are in Christ. Anne now leads Restored Hope Network, helping others find freedom from sexual brokenness. Our conversation is honest, compassionate, and full of encouragement for anyone wrestling with identity or seeking wholeness in faith.To learn more about Anne and Restored Hope Network, visit RestoredHopeNetwork.org. Topics Covered in this Episode:Anne's personal story of overcoming sexual brokenness and trauma.The impact of childhood trauma on identity and sexual attraction.The journey to faith in Jesus Christ and the challenges faced post-conversion.The importance of forgiveness and inner healing in personal growth.The role of identity, particularly sexual identity, in struggles with sexual brokenness.The distinction between behavior modification and addressing core identity issues.The dangers of defining identity solely by sexual attractions and behaviors.The significance of understanding identity as rooted in God's design and purpose.Approaches for Christians to engage compassionately with those struggling with identity issues.A message of hope and healing through God's grace and the importance of trusting in Him.More Resources:Hope 2026 ConferenceSuch Were Some of You (Documentary)Changed MovementRelated Podcasts:Am I Gay? (with Garry Ingraham)Helping Parents Respond with Truth and Love to their LGBTQ-Identifying ChildChanged: The Amazing Transformation of a Former Lesbian Pastor----------Please rate and review our podcast: Apple PodcastsFollow us on our Vimeo Channel.

PSR Podcast is a listener supported outreach of Be Broken Ministries. Partner with us through giving at BeBroken.org/donate. Thank you for your support!----------In this episode, I chat with Elizabeth Urbanowicz about her book, Helping Your Kids Know God’s Good Design: 40 Questions and Answers on Sexuality and Gender. Elizabeth shares her journey as a Christian educator and how she equips parents to teach kids about sexuality and gender from a biblical perspective.We discuss God’s design for sex, the importance of ongoing conversations, how to address tough topics like pornography and gender confusion, and how to love others with grace and truth. Elizabeth offers practical advice for parents navigating today’s culture, always pointing back to the sufficiency of God’s Word and a thriving relationship with Jesus.To learn more about Elizabeth and get her book, visit FoundationWorldview.com.Topics Covered in this Episode:Biblical design for sexuality and marriage as a lifelong covenant between one man and one woman.Understanding sex as a gift within marriage for intimacy and procreation.Importance of focusing on the relationship with Christ rather than idolizing marriage.Strategies for parents to educate children about sexuality and gender in a culturally saturated environment.Addressing the topic of pornography and preparing children for potential exposure.The significance of teaching children about God's design for sex from a young age.Navigating conversations about sexual brokenness and honesty with children.Teaching children to love others while maintaining biblical truth without affirming sin.Guidelines for media consumption and discernment regarding content.Encouraging ongoing growth and reliance on God's grace in discussions about sexuality.More Resources:Helping Your Kids Know God's Good Design by Elizabeth UrbanowiczFamily Integrity: Curiosity (online course)7 Tips to Help You Address Sexual Issues with Your KidsRelated Podcasts:Parenting in a Hyper-Sexualized and Identity-Confused CultureNavigating Identity and Sexuality: A Compassionate Approach for ParentsHow Parents Can Effectively Engage in Sexual Discipleship with their Kids----------Please rate and review our podcast: Apple PodcastsFollow us on our Vimeo Channel.

PSR Podcast is a listener supported outreach of Be Broken Ministries. Partner with us through giving at BeBroken.org/donate. Thank you for your support!----------In today’s episode, I sit down with Clinton and Nikki Mitchell, who bravely share their 31-year marriage journey through addiction, infidelity, and ultimately, healing. We talk about the pain of secrecy, the power of full disclosure, and how faith, therapy, and community helped them rebuild trust and spiritual intimacy. Their story is raw and honest, showing that even in the darkest moments, hope and restoration are possible. I’m inspired by their courage and grateful for their wisdom, and I hope their journey encourages and emboldens anyone facing similar struggles.Learn more about Clinton and Nikki and get their book at DWN4.org.Topics Covered in this Episode: Personal story of marriage and struggles with addiction and infidelity.Impact of pornography addiction on relationships and faith.The cycle of avoidance and denial in addressing marital issues.The significance of seeking help through therapy and accountability.The concept of "fresh start" thinking in marriage and its pitfalls.The journey toward healing and restoration through spiritual intimacy.The importance of honesty and vulnerability in rebuilding trust.The role of community support in overcoming personal struggles.Practical ways to cultivate spiritual intimacy in a relationship.The hope and possibility of redemption in the face of betrayal.More Resources:Glory from the Ashes* by Clinton and Nikki MitchellMore Resources from DWN4Building True Intimacy* by Drake and RaabsmithRelated Podcasts:The Role of Boundaries in Marriage RestorationBeyond Broken Vows: Rebuilding Marriage After Sexual BetrayalPSR Podcast Bundle: Marriage Testimonies*This is an affiliate link. Be Broken may earn referral fees on purchases through this link.----------Please rate and review our podcast: Apple PodcastsFollow us on our Vimeo Channel.

PSR Podcast is a listener supported outreach of Be Broken Ministries. Partner with us through giving at BeBroken.org/donate. Thank you for your support!----------In this episode, I sit down with friend and former guest, Tammy Gustafson, a counselor and author of "Broken to Brave," to talk about healing after betrayal trauma. Tammy shares why wives often get stuck in their recovery—especially when pressured to trust or forgive too soon—and explains the importance of grieving and processing emotions like anger and sadness. We discuss how true healing requires safety, honesty, and support, and Tammy offers practical advice for wives and their loved ones. Whether you’re feeling stuck or wondering when it’s safe to trust again, this conversation brings hope and encouragement for your journey.To learn more about Tammy and get her new book, visit TammyGustafson.com.Topics Covered in this Episode: Healing from betrayal trauma, particularly for betrayed wives.Common challenges faced by wives during the healing process.The concept of feeling "stuck" in the healing journey.The importance of processing grief and emotions like anger and sadness.The role of trust and forgiveness in the healing process.The significance of establishing safety before rebuilding intimacy.The need for emotional safety and understanding in relationships post-betrayal.The impact of fear and doubt on a wife's readiness to trust again.The importance of support from loved ones during the healing journey.Insights from the book Broken to Brave: Your Courageous Act of Healing After Intimate Betrayals.More Resources:Broken to Brave* by Tammy GustafsonOnline Care Groups for WivesWives Care Basics Webinar (free)Related Podcasts:Betrayal Healing PhasesThe Need for Boundaries After BetrayalSelf-Care and Rest for Wives Healing from Betrayal Trauma*This is an affiliate link. Be Broken may earn referral fees on purchases through this link.----------Please rate and review our podcast: Apple PodcastsFollow us on our Vimeo Channel.

PSR Podcast is a listener supported outreach of Be Broken Ministries. Partner with us through giving at BeBroken.org/donate. Thank you for your support!----------In this episode of our new “Family Time” segment, I chat with Norma Brown, our Family Care Director, about the first of six “critical conversations” parents should have with their kids: Feelings and Emotions. We focus on the importance of talking about feelings and emotions as the foundation for deeper topics like sex. Norma shares practical tips, resources like the “Honest Talk Game,” and encouragement for parents to build trust and emotional connection. Together, we explore how modeling vulnerability and emotional honesty can help families create a safe space for open, ongoing conversations.For all our Family Care resources, visit Bebroken.org/family. Topics Covered in this Episode: Introduction of the "Family Time" segment focused on parenting in a sex-saturated culture.Importance of having "critical conversations" with children.First critical conversation centered on feelings and emotions.Building trust and emotional expression as foundational elements in parent-child communication.The role of parents in modeling emotional regulation and expression.Strategies for parents to connect with their children emotionally.Tools and resources to facilitate discussions about emotions, such as emotion wheels and the "Honest Talk Game."Encouragement for parents to embark on their own emotional growth journey.The significance of vulnerability and humility in parenting.Reassurance that it's never too late to start building emotional connections with children.Resources for Next Steps:Just Between Us Journal*Honest Talk* by John FortHonest Talk: The GameFor more parenting podcasts, go to Bebroken.org/tp-pods and scroll to Family Bundles.*This is an affiliate link. Be Broken may earn referral fees on purchases through this link.----------Please rate and review our podcast: Apple PodcastsFollow us on our Vimeo Channel.

PSR Podcast is a listener supported outreach of Be Broken Ministries. Partner with us through giving at BeBroken.org/donate. Thank you for your support!----------In this episode, Stephen Cervantes and I roll up our sleeves to explore the journey of recovery from unwanted sexual behaviors. We discuss the deeper transformation needed beyond just sobriety, sharing over a dozen practical maxims and spiritual insights that will help you aim for life beyond recovery. We reflect on aging, grief, and the challenges of change, emphasizing honesty, community, and trusting God. Through personal stories and recovery wisdom, we encourage listeners to take small, consistent steps, embrace vulnerability, and remember that lasting change is a process—one day, and one choice, at a time.For daily insights from Stephen, visit DoctorMarriage.org. Topics Covered in this Episode:Recovery from unwanted sexual behaviors and addictionImportance of foundational change and emotional work in recoveryThe role of honesty and obedience in personal transformationReflections on aging, grief, and spiritual growthApplication of common recovery sayings to foster progressThe necessity of genuine behavioral and mindset changesThe significance of patience and persistence in the recovery processThe relationship between knowledge and lived experience in transformationThe metaphor of the "hallway" as a space for learning during uncertain timesEmphasis on community support and accountability in the recovery journeyMore Resources:Maxims that Help Us Through Change (blog post mentioned in episode)Grace-Based Recovery* by Jonathan DaughertyTransformation Pathway Journal for Men*Related Podcasts:3 Levels of SobrietyBeyond Sobriety: How to Truly Heal from Compulsive Sexual BehaviorsKeys to Long-Term Freedom from Unwanted Behaviors*This is an affiliate link. Be Broken may earn referral fees on purchases through this link.----------Please rate and review our podcast: Apple PodcastsFollow us on our Vimeo Channel.