Practicing Gratitude: Harder than it looks (#4)

SHOW NOTESEpisode specific links:Jimmy Fallon: The Tonight ShowKahn AcademyMo Willems Lunch Doodles Transcription:Scott: [00:00:00] welcome to playing with fire, the podcast that turns challenges into habits, habits, into lifestyles and lifestyles. And to a better you, I am your host Scott Ricans. And here with me today is my astonishingly supportive cohost, Taylor. [00:00:16] Taylor: [00:00:16] That was sweet. [00:00:17] Scott: [00:00:17] We are committing to 12 months, 12 challenges, 21 days a piece.[00:00:21] We're going to test new ways to live better together. It's time to uncouple our self worth from our net worth so we can all live a rich, happy and fulfilled life. And this month we've challenged ourselves with practicing gratitude. As of this recording, we are on day 17 of 21 and if you've been on this challenge with us, you'll know there are three levels to choose from.[00:00:40] Taylor and I both chose level three, which includes writing in our gratitude journal once a day. Posting on social daily, smiling before every meal, writing a letter to a friend or a loved one, a coworker, whatever, every day, and delivering it. And finally, creating a gratitude station in your home. Level one and two have a descending amount of obligations.[00:00:59] So we will discuss how things are going as we near the finish line. But we are also going to talk about this past week, how it's affected our lives so deeply. But before we do, I want to give some quick love to our sponsor for making this podcast possible.[00:01:17] When Taya and I first started out on our fire journey, one of the first goals we set was saving up for a six month emergency fund, six months of expenses, always there when you need it. Once we reached our goal, we were surprised at the immediate sense of freedom that provided and to hold that money over the longterm, we wanted to find a home for our emergency fund that would allow us to combat inflation and make it super easy to access in times of need.[00:01:39] And that's where ally bank came into our lives. Ally has fantastic savings accounts with very competitive AP wise and no monthly maintenance fees. Ally bank has been voted the best online bank by money, NerdWallet and bank rate, and they've been around for nearly 20 years. Their customer service is awesome and it's super easy to set up an account.[00:01:56] Ally bank is a perfect fit for us and have also helped us make this podcast. We think they'd be a great fit for you too. So if you're saving up for an emergency fund, saving for a new home, whatever it is, consider opening an ally account today.[00:02:15] so one heck of a [00:02:16] Taylor: [00:02:16] week. [00:02:19] Scott: [00:02:19] Yeah, it's been pretty wild. Yeah, it's been really, for us, it's been two and a half weeks or so when we kind of caught wind of the Corona virus, the coven, and that it was going to be serious and that we should start looking at it seriously. And when did we decide to socially distance ourselves?[00:02:35] Taylor: [00:02:35] Last Thursday. So it's been a week and two days. I mean, let's just be honest. This doing this podcast on a Saturday. We're supposed to do it on Tuesdays. Yeah. And we both have just not been in a space to do it. And I said, when we sat down here, are we really doing this? [00:02:53] Scott: [00:02:53] Yeah. I forced myself to hit record today.[00:02:56] Taylor: [00:02:56] Yeah. I think, I think it's just, it's a really emotional. Right. And I, I feel like everyone's going through it in a different way or the same way. [00:03:05] Scott: [00:03:05] Yeah. I mean, as I'm sure everyone has, we immediately had to figure out our situation, understand what we had for supplies, you know, in case we were in some kind of lockdown.[00:03:18] We needed to act as if there was an emergency and we needed to be able to live in this house for months on end. And that was kind of a sh, a shocking, jarring realization. And so that was step one. And then step two and these steps were concurrent, was what are our parents doing? What are our loved ones doing?[00:03:36] What are our family doing? What are our friends doing? And the social dynamics of people figuring out, no one wants to hear. That they need to plan for a global pandemic. No one ever wants to hear that. And if you weren't up to speed on it in any way, shape, or form, and someone just started saying that to you, you'd be, you would also feel like a, what?[00:03:56] You're being a little crazy, right? Yeah. And so it was all understandable, I felt like, but the other side of it was like my dad was going in for knee surgery that like the day that we decided this was serious and we should start taking seriously. Yeah. And you know, that has its own complications where he has to do physical therapy after getting half of his knee replaced, and where's he going to be going to do that?[00:04:19] And is that place going to be safe and so on and so forth. So also they're in different States and can they get home, you know, and if they have to be on lockdown, which California has now gone on a full lockdown of stay at home, it's like, you know, they're renting places right now. What happens when that.[00:04:40] Releases up, you know, it's like so many things to consider and then school's out. So now we go from having school to, we now are homeschooling her. We both have to figure out how that works with jobs, what's going on with the jobs. It's just nuts. It's a lot. I mean, we feel grateful for. [00:04:59] Taylor: [00:04:59] It was a really good time to do the grateful challenge.[00:05:01] Bam. Good planning. [00:05:02] Scott: [00:05:02] It is unbelievably wild timing considering however, it's also, you know, this global pandemic kind of through a bit of a wrench in our little practicing gratitude challenge plan, didn't it? Yeah. I, I'll be the first to admit full disclosure when it comes to this challenge. I'm very excited about it.[00:05:22] Yeah, I agree. [00:05:23] Taylor: [00:05:23] And I, I, you know, like when we, before we sat down here, I was kinda thinking, have I been really good? Have I have, I have not been good this week. And I feel like the first three days I did an okay job. And then. I fell off the bandwagon. I've kind of struggled. [00:05:36] Scott: [00:05:36] I do. I do. Totally fallen off the cliff.[00:05:38] Sorry, go ahead. [00:05:39] Taylor: [00:05:39] No, I was also just going to say, I do think there's some positives out there and in a time of where it seems like every single thing is not positive. And I don't know if you've seen some of these, but I kind of want to share some of them cause I think they're really beautiful. [00:05:54] Scott: [00:05:54] Okay. Yeah, hit me.[00:05:56] Taylor: [00:05:56] Um, so first things first, let's talk about pollution in the [00:06:00] Scott: [00:06:00] world. Okay. It's getting better. Yeah. [00:06:03] Taylor: [00:06:03] Because nobody's driving [00:06:04] Scott:

Episode specific links:Bon Iver: Hey Ma - https://open.spotify.com/track/0d6bZwEAi1XblGRhnzPfgC?si=GwHQAyqvTZGb0iquXD_eZwThe Worry Cure: 7 Steps to Stop Worry From Stopping You - https://amzn.to/2TJ3t9cHow this works:Each month, we will explore a new mental, physical or fiscal challenge, together. With beginner, intermediate and expert level tiers and built-in accountability, there will be something for everyone. It's time to uncouple our self worth from our net worth so we can all live a rich, happy and fulfilled life.I’ve teamed up with my beautiful wife and friend, Taylor, to take on these challenges and experiment together. I should let you know, she is reluctant, slightly nervous and maybe a little annoyed about this whole thing. So, this should be a good time. We are committing to 12 months, 12 challenges, 21 days a piece. We are going to test new ways to live better, together. So we hope you join us each week as we learn, improve and break things. We will take inspiration from many sources, but we’ve leaned on James Clear and his lessons from his book, “Atomic Habits” to guide us in constructing these challenges. Starting next week, we will be announcing the first challenge. Here’s how this will work. We’ve modeled each challenge around the Habit Loop. There are 4 phases of the Habit Loop, The Cue, The Craving, The Response and The Reward. According to James, “The cue triggers a craving, which motivates a response, which provides a reward, which satisfies the craving and, ultimately, becomes associated with the cue. Together, these four steps form a neurological feedback loop—cue, craving, response, reward; cue, craving, response, reward—that ultimately allows you to create automatic habits.” So, we will cue up a problem you likely face in your daily life, motivate you to crave a solution, develop the plan to respond to this problem with a solution and by accomplishing this response, reward you with a new habit! To be more specific, I’ll cover each week in more detail. We will use the first challenge we have planned, “Gratitude” as an example.Week 1, we will setup and discuss practicing gratitude, how it works, how it applies to our lives, why it’s important, and various experts take on gratitude. This is known as the Cue. We will make it abundantly clear and obvious why adapting gratitude habits will be a good use of your time. We will discuss what we are looking forward to, our concerns, how you can join us, what, if anything, you’ll need to participate, and additional listening and reading opportunities on the topic at hand.Week 2 will Cue the challenge, rules, specific levels (Beginner, Intermediate, Expert), tips and strategies and announce our personal plans for the challenge. We will also kick off the challenge on social and Stickk, our preferred accountability platform. This is the kickoff!Week 3, we will bring in an expert or discuss our own findings, or both. We will cover how we feel, what’s working, what’s not, and ask you to weigh in as well!Week 4, the final week, we’ll celebrate our success! Review our pros and cons, and decide whether to make it a habit or not, discuss what we’ve learned from the experience, how we’ve benefitted (or regressed). All the things! We will also share ways to continue with the challenge, and turn it into a lifestyle choice if you so choose. Each challenge will run 21 days, with a week break in between. 21 days is widely misinterpreted as the length in which it takes to develop a habit. The reality is, a habit can be formed anywhere from 18 to 254 days, depending on the person, environment or habit in question. In other words, we likely won’t be developing these habits into action in 21 days. This whole experiment is meant to be a launching pad. I keep hearing about new ideas, trends, diets, practices that are designed to improve your life, but I often feel these go in one ear and out the other and end up as a stack of “I should be doing this”, eventually making me feel even worse about all the things I SHOULD be doing, but am not. This podcast is aimed to take that pressure off, and gives us a place to give those things a shot. Eventually, we hope to redefine ourselves as fear facing, norm busting badasses.Join our Facebook Group at https://www.facebook.com/playingwithfire/Create an account on Stickk at https://www.stickk.com/playingWithFire and join us as we take monthly challenges head on!Watch our documentary today!Amazon: https://amzn.to/2vLnbrtiTunes: https://tinyurl.com/yxxvgnqlGoogle Play: https://tinyurl.com/v5u3z3sYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bvazx...Vimeo: https://tinyurl.com/va2jou2Check out the book Playing with FIRE, based on the documentary: https://amzn.to/2RB3XvKSubscribe to our YouTube channel if you want more information on the FIRE Documentary and all things Financial Independence Retire Early: http://www.youtube.com/c/PlayingwithF... Playing with Fire showcases a growing subculture known as FIRE, that embraces frugality and financial optimization to achieve financial independence. Follow one family’s journey to acquire the one thing that money can’t buy: a simpler — and happier — life.Visit our website for more in-depth information about the podcast and FIRE: Financial Independence Retire Early: https://www.playingwithfire.co/

On this adventure series, we are challenging ourselves with Practicing Gratitude. Those who practice gratitude report feeling better, find it easier to express kindness and compassion and clinical trials have indicated dramatic and lasting effects in a person’s life. According to Robert A. Emmons, professor of psychology at UC Davis, practicing gratitude can lower blood pressure, improve immune function and facilitate more efficient sleep. The benefits of practicing gratitude seem too good to be true. So this month, we are putting it to the test. We will begin this challenge Thursday, March 5th. If you are listening to this later than March 5th, no worries at all! These challenges will always be available for you to engage. If you catch us halfway thru one you are interested in, simply sign up and start your own 21 day challenge. You’ll still enjoy some weekly info from us, or be able to go back and listen to the episodes as you go through the 3 weeks of each challenge. So, how do you join us? That’s easy!  SETUP AN ACCOUNT ON STICKK. It’s free. You’ll setup a profile and commit to our gratitude campaign. This is where you can choose which level you want to participate in. Once you’ve chosen, you can set your stakes..You can put up some money to go to the effective altruism approved Give Well Foundation, our preferred charity, if you miss a day, and set the amount you’re willing to lose each day to help you stick to your goal. You can also lose that money to a friend, foe, to Stickk, or even an anticharity of your choice. We ask that you don’t choose the anticharity, as effective as it might be to help you commit. Stickk is working on an option for us to opt out of that option on our campaigns altogether. Lastly, you can select “no money at stake” to opt out of this option. It’s totally up to you. Next, you can set your referee. This can be “on your honor”, or an individual. This can be a friend, relative, spouse, etc. and you’ll enter their email or if you’re participating in this challenge with someone you live with, consider using each others Stickk username. Finally, you can add supporters who will help cheer you on! (with this challenge, it doesn’t seem super important, but if you were doing something much harder like quitting smoking, this could be an amazing feature and might come in handy if you find our challenges difficult.) You can also auto-accept supporters directly from Stickk, which allows us to support each other with ease. You can also invite friends on Facebook, or through email addresses or stickk usernames. And again, you can skip this altogether if you aren’t in need of external support.That’s it! Stickk will send you a daily reminder via email, phone notification or both, to help you remember to stickk to your commitment! It’s very easy to setup, and it can be as complex or passive as you want it to be. Again, go to Just go to stickK.com/playingwithfire or download the app and our activation code is gratitude (all lowercase).Next, choose your adventure. We will be establishing 3 levels on Stickk in which to participate. We are doing this because we want to standardize the challenge somewhat while acknowledging that everyone feels different levels of participation work for them. There is no right or wrong, this is not a competition. Just choose which level feels right to you. Level 1:Keep a journal every dayLevel 2:Keep a journalPost your gratitude on social dailySmile before every mealLevel 3:Keep a journalPost on social dailySmile before every mealWrite a letter to a friend, loved one, co-worker, barista every day and deliver.Create a Gratitude Station in your home. Join our EMAIL LIST via our website so you don’t miss the challenge steps. Join our FACEBOOK GROUP so we can all learn from each other as we go along. And follow us on the socials, specifically INSTAGRAM, where we plan to share our progress every day of every challenge and hope you will too. What you'll need to participate:So, obviously, you'll want to sign up for all the previously mentioned apps and socials and such. It's not mandatory, but it's proven to be more effective in helping you stick to this challenge. The one thing you will need regardless of the level you choose is a gratitude journal. Obviously you can pick up a blank notebook, use your phone or computer, however you like to jot things down. We really like the 5-minute journal, which has built-in prompt questions for morning and night, feels like the right size and weight for daily use and travel and even feels nice. Totally unnecessary, but quite delightful. You may also want to make sure you have paper and envelopes in the house if you choose to participate in Level 2-3. Finally, the Gratitude Station can be as simple as a jar in a designated area of your home. You’ll document gratitude and add it to this jar or vessel. Gratitude Prompts:-Someone you are grateful for and why.-Describe a food you love.-The best vacation you've been on.-What is a recent purchase that has added value to your life?-Describe your favorite sound.-Someone who inspired you.-A book that changed the way you see the world.-Name someone that makes you smile.-What's the best thing that happened today?-Who makes you feel loved and why?-A place that calms you.-Something you've created that you are proud of.-Your favorite food.-The last person to make you laugh.-An activity you love.-What's your favorite type of weather and why?-Name something that makes you happy.-Who was the last person to compliment you?-Name the best thing(s) that have happened to you.-Whats your favorite place to relax?-What's your favorite thing to do?-Who do you love spending time with?-How is your life more positive today than it was a year ago?-What do other people like about you?-When was the last time you had a genuine belly laugh and why was it so funny?Also, something we uncovered in our research was acknowledging Gratitude Blockers. Basically, it’s ok to acknowledge negative aspects of your life that are getting in the way of your happiness, of you being grateful. Living with anxiety and fear, complaining, feeling entitled, being critical of yourself or others, being cynical, these are all bad habits that will get in the way of your ability to feel and accept gratitude. And in our journaling, you can write down an acknowledgment of these thoughts or feelings and your plans to rectify these blockers! This is another reason I like the 5 min journal. It poses the question, “What would make today great?” In some form, this forces you to acknowledge what is and IS NOT possible to accomplish that day. It forces perspective on what’s great and what’s getting in the way. Framing these elements of your life around gratitude will improve your day, improve your mood and even the way you handle the obstacles. Next up, create a social media post sharing your answers to these gratitude prompts. Let’s spread this positivity! Use the #playingwithfire or post in our group so we can all enjoy these...

On this adventure series, we are challenging ourselves with Practicing Gratitude. Those who practice gratitude report feeling better, find it easier to express kindness and compassion and clinical trials have indicated dramatic and lasting effects in a person’s life. According to Robert A. Emmons, professor of psychology at UC Davis, practicing gratitude can lower blood pressure, improve immune function and facilitate more efficient sleep. The benefits of practicing gratitude seem too good to be true. So this month, we are putting it to the test.So, how do you join us? That’s easy! Join our EMAIL LIST via our website so you don’t miss the challenge steps. Join our FACEBOOK GROUP so we can all learn from each other as we go along. And follow us on the socials, specifically INSTAGRAM, where we plan to share our progress every day of every challenge and hope you will too. Finally, SETUP AN ACCOUNT ON STICKK. It’s free. They have an Android and ios app, and it will provide our daily reminder and accountability so we stick to these goals! It’s super handy and seriously works. I recently completed 50 pushups a day for 30 days because I was being held accountable by my friends and reminded to do them every day by the helpful notification. Now I feel incomplete if I DONT kick out 50 pushups a day. The habit has been created. It’s awesome. Also, bonus feature, you can create an accountability metric by putting up your hard-earned money as an incentive to check-in. Say you make it $5 a day. If you miss a check-in, you will be charged $5. But that $5 will go to the Give Well Foundation. So we will do good for ourselves and for the world. Win-win. This is totally voluntary, but we encourage you do so, as it is proven to help you stick to your goals, and it’s the most good you can do.Next, choose your adventure. We will be establishing 3 levels in which to participate. We are doing this because we want to standardize the challenge somewhat while acknowledging that everyone feels different levels of participation work for them. There is no right or wrong, this is not a competition. Just choose which level feels right to you. Level 1:Keep a journal every dayLevel 2:Keep a journalPost your gratitude on social dailySmile before every mealLevel 3:Keep a journalPost on social dailySmile before every mealWrite a letter to a friend, loved one, co-worker, barista every day and deliver.Create a Gratitude Station in your home. We will cover these levels in depth next week, but we will share them this week so you can start preparing which level works for you and give you time to prepare. What you'll need to participate:So, obviously, you'll want to sign up for all the previously mentioned apps and socials and such. It's not mandatory, but it's proven to be more effective in helping you stick to this challenge. The one thing you will need regardless of the level you choose is a gratitude journal. Obviously you can pick up a blank notebook, use your phone or computer, however you like to jot things down. We really like the 5-minute journal, which has built-in prompt questions for morning and night, feels like the right size and weight for daily use and travel and even feels nice. Totally unnecessary, but quite delightful. You may also want to make sure you have paper and envelopes in the house if you choose to participate in Level 2-3. Finally, the Gratitude Station can be as simple as a jar in a designated area of your home. You’ll document gratitude and add it to this jar or vessel. That’s it! Most people won’t need a thing to participate, but you may want to get crafty so we will leave it to you! We want to see what you plan to use, your gratitude station, and what you are grateful for! So, we ask you tag us and use the hashtag #playingwithfire when posting! 

Each month, we will explore a new mental, physical or fiscal challenge, together. With beginner, intermediate and expert level tiers and built-in accountability, there will be something for everyone. It's time to uncouple our self worth from our net worth so we can all live a rich, happy and fulfilled life.I’ve teamed up with my beautiful wife and friend, Taylor, to take on these challenges and experiment together. I should let you know, she is reluctant, slightly nervous and maybe a little annoyed about this whole thing. So, this should be a good time. We are committing to 12 months, 12 challenges, 21 days a piece. We are going to test new ways to live better, together. So we hope you join us each week as we learn, improve and break things. We will take inspiration from many sources, but we’ve leaned on James Clear and his lessons from his book, “Atomic Habits” to guide us in constructing these challenges. Starting next week, we will be announcing the first challenge. Here’s how this will work. We’ve modeled each challenge around the Habit Loop. There are 4 phases of the Habit Loop, The Cue, The Craving, The Response and The Reward. According to James, “The cue triggers a craving, which motivates a response, which provides a reward, which satisfies the craving and, ultimately, becomes associated with the cue. Together, these four steps form a neurological feedback loop—cue, craving, response, reward; cue, craving, response, reward—that ultimately allows you to create automatic habits.” So, we will cue up a problem you likely face in your daily life, motivate you to crave a solution, develop the plan to respond to this problem with a solution and by accomplishing this response, reward you with a new habit! To be more specific, I’ll cover each week in more detail. We will use the first challenge we have planned, “Gratitude” as an example.Week 1, we will setup and discuss practicing gratitude, how it works, how it applies to our lives, why it’s important, and various experts take on gratitude. This is known as the Cue. We will make it abundantly clear and obvious why adapting gratitude habits will be a good use of your time. We will discuss what we are looking forward to, our concerns, how you can join us, what, if anything, you’ll need to participate, and additional listening and reading opportunities on the topic at hand.Week 2 will Cue the challenge, rules, specific levels (Beginner, Intermediate, Expert), tips and strategies and announce our personal plans for the challenge. We will also kick off the challenge on social and Stickk, our preferred accountability platform. This is the kickoff!Week 3, we will bring in an expert or discuss our own findings, or both. We will cover how we feel, what’s working, what’s not, and ask you to weigh in as well!Week 4, the final week, we’ll celebrate our success! Review our pros and cons, and decide whether to make it a habit or not, discuss what we’ve learned from the experience, how we’ve benefitted (or regressed). All the things! We will also share ways to continue with the challenge, and turn it into a lifestyle choice if you so choose. Each challenge will run 21 days, with a week break in between. 21 days is widely misinterpreted as the length in which it takes to develop a habit. The reality is, a habit can be formed anywhere from 18 to 254 days, depending on the person, environment or habit in question. In other words, we likely won’t be developing these habits into action in 21 days. This whole experiment is meant to be a launching pad. I keep hearing about new ideas, trends, diets, practices that are designed to improve your life, but I often feel these go in one ear and out the other and end up as a stack of “I should be doing this”, eventually making me feel even worse about all the things I SHOULD be doing, but am not. This podcast is aimed to take that pressure off, and gives us a place to give those things a shot. Eventually, we hope to redefine ourselves as fear facing, norm busting badasses.Join our Facebook Group at https://www.facebook.com/playingwithfire/Create an account on Stickk at https://www.stickk.com/ and join us as we take monthly challenges head on!Watch our documentary today!Amazon: https://amzn.to/2vLnbrtiTunes: https://tinyurl.com/yxxvgnqlGoogle Play: https://tinyurl.com/v5u3z3sYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bvazx...Vimeo: https://tinyurl.com/va2jou2Check out the book Playing with FIRE, based on the documentary: https://amzn.to/2RB3XvKSubscribe to our YouTube channel if you want more information on the FIRE Documentary and all things Financial Independence Retire Early: http://www.youtube.com/c/PlayingwithF... Playing with Fire showcases a growing subculture known as FIRE, that embraces frugality and financial optimization to achieve financial independence. Follow one family’s journey to acquire the one thing that money can’t buy: a simpler — and happier — life.Visit our website for more in-depth information about FIRE: Financial Independence Retire Early: https://www.playingwithfire.co/