When Super Soaker Got Sued by a Totally Lame Squirt Gun

VR35 - In this episode released on the 54th anniversary of the Watergate break-in, the Vapid Response team raids the archives of the New York Times to retrieve one of the single worst (and worst-timed!) contemporary takes on the scandal which would end Richard Nixon’s Presidency. We then return to a time in which a Watergate-style burglary would be a fun diversion to see how at least one conservative legal writer is defending Trump’s nomination of his former defense attorney to serve as Attorney General. “Comeback Time,” William Safire,  The New York Times (4/19/1973) “Todd Blanche is Unfit for Office,” The Editorial Board, The New York Times (6/15/2026) “Blanche and the New York Times,” Michael Fragoso, National Review (6/15/2026) Opening Arguments Linktree (Patreon, socials, and more): https://linktr.ee/openingarguments

OA1270 - A good court thingie! A famous case from 1986 gave us the “Batson rule” that prevents the use of “peremptory strikes” to remove people from juries on the basis of race. To this day, racial discrimination in jury selection continues to be a problem. But the Supreme Court recently reinforced the on-going utility of Batson challenges in two decisions… written by Kavanaugh? Tune in to learn about the history and modern application of this important protection of our rights. Swain v. Alabama, 380 U.S. 202 (1965) Batson v. Kentucky, 476 U.S. 79 (1986) J. E. B. v. Alabama ex rel. T. B., 511 U.S. 127 (1994) Flowers v. Mississippi, 588 U.S. 284 (2019) Pitchford v. Cain, 608 U.S. ___ (2026) Batson “Justifications” Catherine M. Grosso & Barbara O’Brien, A Stubborn Legacy: The Overwhelming Importance of Race in Jury Selection in 173 Post-Batson North Carolina Capital Trials, 97 Iowa L. Rev. 1531 (2012). Shamena Anwar, Patrick Bayer, & Randi Hjalmarsson, The Impact of Jury Race in Criminal Trials, 127 Q.J. Econ. 1017 (2011). Check out the OA Linktree for all the places to go and things to do!

Hoo boy what a bizarre experience! Listen as Matt tries to convince us a really bad movie is good just because it deals with immigration law!   If you'd like to hear the rest, go to Patreon.com/law and pledge at $2+!

OA1269 - It’s official: Donald Trump has nominated Acting Attorney General “Two Taint” Todd Blanche to run the Department of Justice for real. We review Blanche’s three-year career as Trump’s personal defense attorney before considering the questions the Senate Judiciary Committee should be asking to determine just who Blanche has been really working for in his time at DOJ so far. Then: the U.S. is hosting the world’s biggest international sports event at a time when our immigration system has never been less hospitable, and even before the first World Cup kickoff Trump’s CBP has been giving red cards to players, coaches, support staff, and fans who had  already been cleared by the refs at U.S. consulates abroad. Matt explains the immigration law logistics of international tournaments, and how this administration’s harsh immigration policies are actively working against the system’s efforts to make things easier for World Cup visitors. Finally, in this week’s listener-requested footnote: why an outdoor sportswear brand is reluctantly suing a drag queen, and our predictions for one of the strangest trademark lawsuits in U.S. history. “Trump Trial Opening Statements (Defendant),” Gavel Gavel (11/1/2024) “People v. Trump 5-28,” Gavel Gavel (12/1/2024) “The Ghislaine Maxwell Interview was Institutional Corruption Like We’ve Never Seen Before. Truly,” Opening Arguments (8/26/2025)(Youtube version) Acting AG Todd Blanche’s Congressional testimony on 6/2/2026 “CPAC 2026 ‘Fireside Chat’ with Deputy Attorney General Todd Blanche,” Youtube (3/26/2026) “Dai Dai (Official Video),” Shakira & Burna Boy Complaint in Patagonia, Inc v. Entrepreneur Enterprises, Inc. dba Pattie Gonia Productions and Wyn Wiley (1/21/2026) Check out the OA Linktree for all the places to go and things to do!

OA1268 - Patents, trademarks, and copyrights, ach mein! How did the Fender Stratocaster, a guitar that has been in continuous manufacture since 1954, Suddenly become the subject of an intellectual property dispute? Well, maybe this didn’t exactly come from Out of the Woods. Fender has had 5 utility patents, 1 design patent, and 3 trademarks relevant to the Stratocaster Through the Years. But the one thing that’s been Slipping Through Their Fingers all this time was protection for that iconic (or is it?) body shape. After their design patent expired, their trademark application was Denied, and US copyright was definitionally Forbidden, anyone could see that Nothing Really Matters to the US Patent and Trademark Office, and Fender was left Walking in the Snow. Very similar (some might say identical) body shapes entered the market. It’s Late, but perhaps not too late. Fender sailed the Seven Seas to another country with different copyright laws. But with only a German court order in hand, will Fender be able to make this exclusive protection Live Forever, or is it just Cheap Talk other guitar makers can ignore? Contrary to the hot takes everywhere, it could be A Hard Day’s Night before we get a definitive answer. Is any of it JU$T? You decide. Tune in for the history that got us here, an overview of US IP law, and to hear Jenessa argue with a computer, and 90% of people talking about this, who just cannot seem to link to the documents they’re referencing… Fender patents, relevant to Stratocaster: Guitar shape (utility/functional features): U.S. Patent No. 2,960,900 (issued Nov. 22, 1960) Guitar shape (design/ornamental features): U.S. Patent No. Des. 169,062 (issued Mar. 24, 1953) Bridge and pick-up assembly: U.S. Patent No. 2,573,254 (issued Oct. 30, 1951) Tremolo: U.S. Patent No. 2,741,146 (issued Apr. 10, 1956) Pickup and circuit: U.S. Patent No. 2,817,261 (issued Dec. 24, 1957) Adjustable neck: U.S. Patent No. 3,143,028 (issued Aug. 4, 1964) Dating a Fender Stratocaster, Adirondack Guitars. Relevant Fender trademarks Fender brand name: FENDER, U.S. Trademark Registration No. 0805075 (issued/renewed Mar. 8, 1966) Stratocaster name: STRATOCASTER, U.S. Trademark Registration No. 0839997 (issued Dec. 5, 1967) Headstock: U.S. Trademark Registration No. 1148870 (issued Mar. 3, 1981) USPTO, 1512 Relationship Between Design Patent, Copyright, and Trademark. Stuart Spector Designs, Ltd. v. Fender Musical Instruments Corporation, 94 USPQ2d 1549 (TTAB 2009) [precedential]. Düsseldorf Regional Court (Az. 14c O 64/25) Carolin Thurner, The Fender Stratocaster before the Regional Court of Düsseldorf - First application of the ECJ Principles from Mio/konektra to a work of applied art in Germany, Lexology. Katheriner Sayer (May 28, 2026), The Brewing Fight Over the World’s Most Popular Electric Guitar, Wall Street Journal. Josh Gardner, Fender reportedly demands boutique builders stop making Stratocaster-style guitars: This is what it means for the industry, Guitar.com. Wayne’s World clip Check out the OA Linktree for all the places to go and things to do!

OA1267 - Is Trump’s 1.8 billion dollar “anti-weaponization” fund really done, or is there something else going on here? Also can a few dozen federal judges really reopen any given civil suit with one magic filing? We take a closer look before going behind the recent commutation of former Mesa County (CO) elections clerk Tina Peters’ sentence by Colorado governor Jared Polis to the actual legal basis behind her successful appeal of her sentence to the Colorado Appeals Court. Finally in today’s footnote: an NPR host’s lawsuit claiming that Google stole his voice.  People v. Peters, Colorado Appeals Court #2026COA24 (4/2/2026) “MOTION FOR RELIEF FROM JUDGMENT OR ORDER, OR, IN THE ALTERNATIVE, FOR LEAVE TO APPEAR AS AMICI CURIAE BY THIRTY-FIVE FORMER FEDERAL JUDGES,” Trump v. IRS, filed 5/27/2026  Initial complaint in Green v Google et al (filed 1/23/2026) Check out the OA Linktree for all the places to go and things to do!

VR34 - This week in Vapid Response: Vanilla Ice provides the platonic ideal of an amuse douche before we order up an excerpt of the worshipful new Alito biography by the editor-in-chief of The Federalist. We then take a closer look at MAGA’s desperate attacks on Trump accuser E. Jean Carroll as expressed in a recent piece in the Examiner. OA Book Club is coming for all patrons! Sign up now for ad-free listening at patreon.com/law, and start reading our first selection ahead of our first live Zoom meetup later this month. “Alito Is The Most 'Courageous' Justice You've Never Read About,” Mollie Hemingway, The Federalist (April 21, 2026) Carroll couldn't remember the year. But she remembered to lie,” Joe Concha, The Examiner (May 30, 2026) Watch us on YouTube! Check out the OA Linktree for all the places to go and things to do!

OA1266 - Can wearing a corset be considered a “public” use of the product? What makes someone (or some thing) an inventor? What is it exactly that makes the Super Soaker so rad? Get the answers to these questions and more from… patent law? Jenessa walks us through some of her favorite wacky cases (that also teach us core patent law concepts). Egbert v. Lippmann, 104 U.S. 333 (1881) Thaler v. Vidal, 43 F.4th 1207 (2022) Larami Corp. v. Amron, 27 U.S.P.Q.2d 1280 (E.D. Pa. 1993) Larami Corp. v. Amron, 91 F.3d 166 (Fed. Cir. 1996) Check out the OA Linktree for all the places to go and things to do!

OA1265 - THIS IS SUCH A GOOD NEWS SHOW. Seriously. It was so good that Matt invented a new form of entertainment that you need to hear about. We've got Markwayne saying possibly THE dumbest thing a cabinet member has ever said. We've got a judge absolutely schooling Trump's corrupt DOJ and dismissing the bogus Kilmar Abrego Garcia indictment, AND we've got some interesting emolument talk. Can Florida just give Trump land?

VR33 - Did Trump’s DHS really just “end greencards” for people living in the US? Is everyone here on a visa going to have to return to their home countries--potentially with legal bars to returning of ten years or more--to process their cases? Who is the USCIS policy memo on “adjustment of status” to permanent residency which has caused massive amounts of fear and uncertainty in immigrant communities around the country this past weekend actually targeting, and who might still be able to get through? As always, the answers to these questions are much more nuanced than a 30-second viral video could ever convey and there is real reason to hope beyond the headlines.  Matt has written some of the most thorough analysis yet published since the memo’s release and he is here to tell us that it is many ways both much better and in others much worse than reported. We take a closer look at what the media coverage of this story has gotten wrong (and what it has missed) while going deep on the alleged legal justifications for this new interpretation of the law to see how it all holds up. “Adjustment of Status is a Matter of Discretion and Administrative Grace, and an Extraordinary Relief that Permits Applicants to Dispense with the Ordinary Consular Visa Process,” USCIS Policy Memorandum dated 5/21/26 “Did DHS Really Just Stop Processing Greencards? A Closer Look,” Matt Cameron, DEPORTNATION (5/23/26) “Adjusting Expectations,” Matt Cameron, DEPORTNATION (May 27, 2026) Matter of Blas, Int. Dec. #2485, BIA (1974)(adopted by AG 1976)  Matter of Arai, Int. Dec. #2027, BIA (1970)