How to Avoid the 5 R’s that Destroy Relationships with PeggySue Wells | Episode 275

This week’s episode will look a little bit different, as we are resharing one of our top five episodes of all time with you!With the holiday season beginning, there will be countless opportunities for relationships to be strained. You’ll encounter many situations where you will have to interact with people that you would rather avoid.We were designed to be in relationships. However, even though connecting with others is part of our DNA, navigating relationships can also be one of the most challenging parts of life. Joining me to help us explore this topic is PeggySue Wells.PeggySue is an author, speaker, and coach. She is the best-selling author of 45 books. On top of that, she’s a single mom of 7 kids. PeggySue has a passion for helping people improve their relationships.We first released this conversation four years ago, and it’s still one of our favorite episodes. The information shared continues to be a great resource for all of us as we head into the holidays and are knee-deep in the sometimes messy but always meaningful work of family relationships.In this episode, you’ll hear:The five R’s that destroy relationshipsHow to get out of common unhealthy cyclesThe benefits God has for us in relationshipsAnd more!Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes: jillsavage.org/peggysue-wells-275Check out our other resources: Mark and Jill’s Marriage Story Marriage Coaching Marriage 2.0 Intensives Speaking Schedule Book Mark and Jill to Speak Online Courses Books Marriage Resources: Infidelity Recovery For Happy Marriages For Hurting Marriages For Marriages Where You’re the Only One Wanting to Get Help Mom Resources: New/Preschool Moms Moms with Gradeschoolers Moms with Teens and Tweens Moms with Kids Who Are Launching Empty Nest...

Can you believe that the holidays are just around the corner? We recently got our first snow in Illinois, and it’s got us in the holiday spirit!Along with the merriment and celebrations of this season come various expectations, obligations, and family gatherings to attend. A few years ago, we started a tradition in our family of giving our children the gift of freedom when it comes to holiday events. While this may be unheard of in some families, this decision has brought our family much relief from the pressures that often come with the holidays. It gives our adult children space to forge their own traditions with their families, and it gives us freedom, too.This year, we’re traveling to Australia to spend Christmas with our son—something we couldn’t do if we’d insisted that all our kids and their families spend the holidays with us locally. If you’re curious about what it could look like to give the gift of freedom to your own family this holiday season, listen in to hear our best advice.In this episode, you’ll hear:How to let go of rigid schedulesThe greatest gift you can give to your adult childrenWhy setting realistic expectations is so importantAnd more!We hope this conversation inspires you to prepare well for the holiday season!Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes: jillsavage.org/preparing-for-holidays-274Check out our other resources: Mark and Jill’s Marriage Story Marriage Coaching Marriage 2.0 Intensives Speaking Schedule Book Mark and Jill to Speak Online Courses Books Marriage Resources: Infidelity Recovery For Happy Marriages For Hurting Marriages For Marriages Where You’re the Only One Wanting to Get Help Mom Resources: New/Preschool Moms Moms with Gradeschoolers Moms with Teens and Tweens Moms with Kids Who Are Launching Empty Nest...

Every one of us knows what it’s like to hold prayers that haven’t been answered. That season of waiting can feel like one of the toughest battles of all. I experienced this myself during my marriage crisis, and I can’t tell you the number of times I cried out to the Lord to answer my prayer.My guest knows what it’s like to live with an unanswered prayer. She searched for over 10 years for her biological father, all the while fervently praying that God would lead her to him.Dr. Deanna Shrodes is an ordained minister, an author, speaker, and spiritual life strategist. She has been featured in various media outlets, including CBS News and People Magazine. Her latest book is Uncommon Answers: Partnering with the Holy Spirit to Receive Extraordinarily More, and in it she offers fresh hope and faith for those weary for a breakthrough.In this episode, you’ll hear:An incredible story of a long-awaited prayerHow to persevere in prayerThe importance of continuing to pray even when you don’t receive an answerAnd more!I was so encouraged by Deanna’s incredible story of answered prayer and her insights on what to do in those long seasons of waiting.Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes: jillsavage.org/deanna-shrodes-273Check out our other resources: Mark and Jill’s Marriage Story Marriage Coaching Marriage 2.0 Intensives Speaking Schedule Book Mark and Jill to Speak Online Courses Books Marriage Resources: Infidelity Recovery For Happy Marriages For Hurting Marriages For Marriages Where You’re the Only One Wanting to Get Help Mom Resources: New/Preschool Moms Moms with Gradeschoolers Moms with Teens and Tweens Moms with Kids Who Are Launching Empty Nest...

When we stand at the altar and say “I do,” our eyes are filled with stars. We’re certain we have found happily ever after.After the wedding day, we find out that this marriage stuff is way more complicated than we initially thought. Once we are living out our day-to-day routine with another person, we find that challenges abound.We talk about marriage a lot on this podcast, but today, we are going to get a little more specific. We’re diving deep into how marriage is experienced by men. Our guest for this conversation is Roy Wooten.Roy is the executive director of The Crucible Project, a nonprofit men’s ministry. He has served as a pastor, ministry executive, coach, and counselor. Roy and his wife have co-authored The Secret to Lifetime Love.In this episode, you’ll hear:Common tendencies men have within marriageLies satan often uses against menThe importance of learning how to engage our emotions in a healthy mannerAnd more!We deeply enjoyed Roy’s fresh insight on how men engage in marriage.Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes: jillsavage.org/roy-wooten-272Check out our other resources: Mark and Jill’s Marriage Story Marriage Coaching Marriage 2.0 Intensives Speaking Schedule Book Mark and Jill to Speak Online Courses Books Marriage Resources: Infidelity Recovery For Happy Marriages For Hurting Marriages For Marriages Where You’re the Only One Wanting to Get Help Mom Resources: New/Preschool Moms Moms with Gradeschoolers Moms with Teens and Tweens Moms with Kids Who Are Launching Empty Nest...

Have you heard about the dog and cat marriage? It might sound like a crazy concept, but it’s one that has helped us not only understand each other, but also help other couples understand how attachment styles are impacting their marriage.We created this idea of “dogs” and “cats” to explain the different attachment styles, and we’ve discovered that applying this concept is one of the top ways we see marriages change and heal in our coaching sessions.Regardless of whether you are more of a “cat” or a “dog”, everyone can benefit from this helpful analogy to understand how your attachment style plays out in your relationships.In this episode, you’ll hear:What it means to be a “dog” or a “cat” in your marriageSome tools to help you understand your attachment styleWays we can move toward a secure attachment styleAnd more!We hope this conversation helps you begin to better understand your attachment style!Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes: jillsavage.org/dog-cat-marriage-271Check out our other resources: Mark and Jill’s Marriage Story Marriage Coaching Marriage 2.0 Intensives Speaking Schedule Book Mark and Jill to Speak Online Courses Books Marriage Resources: Infidelity Recovery For Happy Marriages For Hurting Marriages For Marriages Where You’re the Only One Wanting to Get Help Mom Resources: New/Preschool Moms Moms with Gradeschoolers Moms with Teens and Tweens Moms with Kids Who Are Launching Empty Nest...

One of the most beautiful gifts we can give to others is our presence in their pain. Knowing you are not alone when you are walking through something hard is so important, especially when it involves the death of a spouse.When you lose your teammate in life, it’s disorienting, overwhelming, and traumatic. Here to help us understand the difficult circumstances that arise from the passing of a spouse is my guest, Amy Graves Boyd.Amy’s life took an unexpected turn in 2020 when she faced the loss of her first husband, Bryan. He passed away just three months after being diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. This was not the way life was supposed to go. During and after this dark season, Amy had to navigate not only her own pain, but also the pain of their children who lost their father at such a tender time.As her family walked through the valley of the shadow of death, Amy experienced God’s tender embrace. Today, she’s passionate about sharing her story of faith, healing, and resilience.In this episode, you’ll hear:How each family member mourns in different waysPractical ways to support someone through the loss of a spouseHelpful resources for anyone walking through a lossAnd more!This conversation was so helpful in learning how to show love and encouragement to a dear friend who is walking through a loss today.Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes: jillsavage.org/amy-graves-boyd-270Check out our other resources: Mark and Jill’s Marriage Story Marriage Coaching Marriage 2.0 Intensives Speaking Schedule Book Mark and Jill to Speak Online Courses Books Marriage Resources: Infidelity Recovery For Happy Marriages For Hurting Marriages For Marriages Where You’re the Only One Wanting to Get Help Mom Resources: New/Preschool Moms Moms with Gradeschoolers Moms with Teens and Tweens Moms with Kids Who Are Launching Empty Nest...

What is the Next Day Principle?It’s a practice that we have not only implemented in our own marriage and family, but it’s also something we recommend to other couples in our coaching all the time.It helps to slow down reactivity, giving you time to clarify your feelings and determine what you still need to take to your spouse. The Next Day Principle is simply this: instead of reacting in the moment of a conflict with the full weight of your frustrations and emotions, you wait until the next day to bring it up with your spouse.In this episode, you’ll hear:The value of slowing conversation downTips for practicing the Next Day PrincipleThe importance of being responsive rather than reactiveAnd more!We hope this conversation blesses you!Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes: jillsavage.org/next-day-principle-269Check out our other resources: Mark and Jill’s Marriage Story Marriage Coaching Marriage 2.0 Intensives Speaking Schedule Book Mark and Jill to Speak Online Courses Books Marriage Resources: Infidelity Recovery For Happy Marriages For Hurting Marriages For Marriages Where You’re the Only One Wanting to Get Help Mom Resources: New/Preschool Moms Moms with Gradeschoolers Moms with Teens and Tweens Moms with Kids Who Are Launching Empty Nest...

As Christians, we are often unclear about God’s views on sex and intimacy. It can be a struggle to make sense of our temptations, shame, brokenness, longings, or desires. What is more, Christian churches and families are often divided in the nuances of sexuality, neglecting Jesus’ most important call to be unified as His body.Mark and I often talk about the significance of surrender, but how should that impact our sex life?My friend Dr. Juli Slattery is deeply familiar with both topics and is here to help us connect the dots between surrender, sex, and sexuality. She is the President and Co-Founder of Authentic Intimacy, a ministry dedicated to reclaiming God’s design for sexuality. She has authored twelve books, including her newest book, Surrendered Sexuality: How Knowing Jesus Changes… Everything.In this episode, you’ll hear:Why Christians can’t ignore the topic of sex and sexualityPractical steps to surrender in the area of sexualityAn encouraging word for anyone struggling with sexAnd more!It was truly a pleasure to have Juli back on the podcast for this conversation about surrender and sexuality.Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes: jillsavage.org/juli-slattery-268Check out our other resources: Mark and Jill’s Marriage Story Marriage Coaching Marriage 2.0 Intensives Speaking Schedule Book Mark and Jill to Speak Online Courses Books Marriage Resources: Infidelity Recovery For Happy Marriages For Hurting Marriages For Marriages Where You’re the Only One Wanting to Get Help Mom Resources: New/Preschool Moms Moms with Gradeschoolers Moms with Teens and Tweens Moms with Kids Who Are Launching Empty Nest...

When brokenness strikes, it can feel impossible to know what to say or how to ask for help. Whether that brokenness is due to hard circumstances, an unexpected diagnosis, or the pain of a relationship ending, when we are hurting, all we want to do is retreat.But it’s in these dark seasons when we need a community to lean on the most. How do we find the strength to reach out when we are battling some of our worst moments? What can we offer our friends who we know are hurting? And can God still use us even when the brokenness never seems to fade away?My guest today is here to offer clarity and guidance around these questions. Toni Collier is the founder of a global women’s organization called Broken Crayons Still Color. She helps people process through brokenness to get to healing and hope.In this episode, you’ll hear:How to find healing from brokennessCommon myths we believe about our painThe power of having people who will sit with you instead of trying to fix youAnd more!Toni’s story is full of so much brokenness and pain. Yet, in spite of those circumstances, she has found healing and comfort. Her experience is proof that even the darkest seasons don’t last forever.Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes: jillsavage.org/toni-collier-267Check out our other resources: Mark and Jill’s Marriage Story Marriage Coaching Marriage 2.0 Intensives Speaking Schedule Book Mark and Jill to Speak Online Courses Books Marriage Resources: Infidelity Recovery For Happy Marriages For Hurting Marriages For Marriages Where You’re the Only One Wanting to Get Help Mom Resources: New/Preschool Moms Moms with Gradeschoolers Moms with Teens and Tweens Moms with Kids Who Are Launching Empty Nest...

Have you ever met someone who was not at all like you? Maybe their thinking, mannerisms, or outlook was so different from your own that you clashed or struggled to connect with them?The old proverb, “birds of a feather flock together” is a classic because it’s true! Building relationships with people who share your interests, hobbies, opinions, and goals often feels easier than stepping outside your comfort zone.However, here’s the truth: in any close relationship—whether with a friend, family member, or spouse—differences eventually show up.It could be that one of you is a saver while the other is a spender, one of you is an early riser and the other a night owl, or even that one of you is an internal processor versus an external processor.Today, we want to challenge you to think about these differences in your relationships, well, differently!In this episode, you’ll hear:How to move from frustrated to fascinatedPractical ways to avoid taking differences personallyHelpful ways to reframe differences in your mindAnd more!Learning how to work with our differences has helped us so much in our marriage and friendships. We hope this conversation can help you, too!Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes: jillsavage.org/differences-differently-266Check out our other resources: Mark and Jill’s Marriage Story Marriage Coaching Marriage 2.0 Intensives Speaking Schedule Book Mark and Jill to Speak Online Courses Books Marriage Resources: Infidelity Recovery For Happy Marriages For Hurting Marriages For Marriages Where You’re the Only One Wanting to Get Help Mom Resources: New/Preschool Moms Moms with Gradeschoolers Moms with Teens and Tweens Moms with Kids Who Are Launching Empty Nest...