Anxious + Avoidant Styles in Relationship

What does it actually mean to have agency?We hear the word everywhere at the moment, particularly in conversations about mental health, relationships and personal growth. But having agency isn't the same as being in control, getting your own way, or believing you can determine everything that happens in your life.In this video, I explore the psychology behind human agency, including the work of Albert Bandura and the concept of learned helplessness, and look at what agency actually looks like in everyday life.I also bring in NLP, the distinction between Cause and Effect, and one of my favourite ideas: the more flexibility and choices we have available to us, the more influence we have over our experience.You won't always get to choose what happens. But you may have far more choice about what happens next than you realise.If this gets you thinking, I'd love to hear what agency means to you in the comments. Subscribe for more conversations about psychology, NLP, relationships, consciousness and meaningful change, and share this with someone who might find it useful.And if you'd like to explore these ideas more deeply, you'll find a link to my book, The Wizard of Cause: A Path to Remembering Your Wholeness, here: www.wizardofcause.com

If there is one thing I'd recommend for any NLP Coach or Therapist is having a group to confidentially discuss clients, talk best practice, ask questions, and ensure self-care. Join Dr. Heidi as she explains how it all works.

What if anxiety isn’t something to get rid of… but something to understand?In this video, Dr. Heidi explores anxiety from a different perspective — not as a flaw or failure, but as a protective response that’s trying to help you, even when it doesn’t feel that way.You’ll learn why anxiety feels so real, why it lives in the future, and how to gently interrupt the pattern using simple, practical tools you can apply immediately.This isn’t about forcing calm or “thinking positive.”It’s about understanding your system so you can work with it instead of against it.If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed by your thoughts or your body’s response, this will give you a more grounded, compassionate way to navigate it.If this resonates, I’d love to hear what anxiety feels like for you and what helps you come back to the present moment.And if you’d like to go deeper into understanding your patterns and creating real change, you can join me at my next talk. The link is below.

What if what is broken is really just art in progress? We often view failure, broken, or wrong as bad - instead of beautiful.

As a coach or therapist (or curious friend!) its too easy to get caught up in the story someone is telling us. Join Dr. Heidi Heron to learn more about what it means to get beyond the story, and how to do just that.

When people fail, do they really fail or are they learning? Tune in with Dr. Heidi to hear her thoughts.

I recently attended a workshop with world-renowned psychiatrist and The Body Keeps the Score author Bessel van der Kolk — and it confirmed so much of what we know in NLP about trauma, the body, and healing.In this video, I share the biggest insights from the day, including:Why who you have in your life may matter more than what happened to youHow the brain and body store trauma — and why logic alone can't fix itThe difference between small-t and big-T traumaWhy most therapy keeps people in their problem instead of moving them toward a desired stateWhat your body can do (not just your mind) to help break the trauma cycleHow NLP approaches trauma differently — and why that mattersIf you've ever wondered why you can't just "get over it," or why some people recover from devastating events while others don't, this video is for you.Who is your "who"? That's the question worth asking.

Why does one person want more closeness… while the other pulls away?And why does that pattern feel so intense — and so hard to break?In this video, I explore one of the most common relationship dynamics: anxious attachment meeting avoidant attachment.What can feel like strong chemistry at the beginning can quickly become a cycle of chasing and withdrawing, misunderstanding and frustration.But this isn’t about one person being “too much” and the other being “not enough.”It’s about patterns.I break down what’s happening on both sides — psychologically and emotionally — and how these patterns reinforce each other.Most importantly, I share how you can begin to shift this dynamic using awareness and NLP tools, so you’re not just reacting… but responding with choice.Because when the pattern changes… the relationship changes.

Why do we react the way we do in relationships… even when we know it’s not helping?In this video, I walk you through the four attachment styles — secure, anxious, avoidant, and disorganised — and how they quietly shape the way you connect, communicate, and respond in relationships.This isn’t about labelling yourself.It’s about recognising patterns.Because once you understand what’s really driving your reactions… you create the space to change them.I also introduce how Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) can help you shift these patterns — not just intellectually, but in real time, in your thoughts, emotions, and behaviour.You might see yourself in this.You might see a partner.You might even understand past relationships in a completely new way.And that awareness… is where everything begins to change.If you’d like support working through your own patterns, you can find more information below.www.heidiheron.com

Dr. Heidi discusses what a comfort zone is, why people often choose certainty even when it’s uncomfortable, and how real growth requires stepping into uncertainty. She explains that comfort zones vary by person and context, and that simply making a comfort zone bigger can sometimes increase tolerance rather than growth. Using an NLP lens, she describes how beliefs and unconscious patterns shape our need to “know,” and shares a client example where integrating internal parts and revisiting the origin of a “need to know” belief helped her begin embracing the unknown. Dr. Heidi invites viewers to notice where they’re repeating patterns they don’t like, choose small actions outside their comfort zone, and accept that getting it wrong can be part of learning to get it right.If you are looking to learn NLP, become a coach, NLP Practitioner, NLP Master Practitioner, NLP Consultant, NLP Coach or NLP Therapist, or if you are looking to work with an NLP Coach one-on-one, please contact Dr. Heidi at www.nlpworldwide.com. You can learn NLP with us at NLP Worldwide online from anywhere you are! Become a Coach, become an NLP Coach, become an NLP Therapist. Trainer in NLP, Neuro Linguistic Programming.