EP 13 - Could We Be Trad Wives?

Show NotesAnjelli and Annika devote an entire episode to one of the most judged and emotionally charged topics in parenting: sleep. From controlled crying to the chair method, co-sleeping to cry-it-out, they explore both paths — and then share what actually happened in their own homes.As expat moms raising children in Denmark, they navigate the gap between how they were raised, what the internet says, and what the Danish health nurse recommends (which, as of this year, includes a ban on cry-it-out methods). They talk breastfeeding struggles, triple feeding, the four-month sleep regression, spending 20,000+ krona on sleep consultants, floor beds, and why some babies somehow just… sleep.They finish with a rapid-fire round of "did or did not" — from white noise apps to pram naps below zero, and one honest confession about lying to other parents about how their child sleeps.Heads up: We're two moms sharing personal experiences — not medical professionals. For anything health-related, talk to your health nurse or doctor.Follow along on Instagram: @mumbrainsabroadTimestampsIntro & episode overview1:30 The case for sleep training: structure, sleep, sanity2:00 "I did it so I could finish a sentence" — why parents choose it2:00 The spectrum: controlled crying to the chair method3:10 Why a plan feels like hope when you're that tired3:27 The case for co-sleeping: it's just how sleep works in most of the world3:38 Anjelli's sleep journey: textbook newborn phase to triple feeding struggles5:00 A 12-hour sleep on her birthday — then teething and travel hit6:15 Joining sleep training groups (mostly US-based moms)7:00 Annika's story: great first 3.5 months, then the 4-month regression8:00 Hourly wake-ups and nothing working — porridge, bananas, none of it9:00 Why they never tried sleep training: "it would just mean crying"9:40 Sleep coaches cost 20,000+ kroner10:25 "Even the gentlest method wouldn't be gentle for us"12:30 Cry-it-out banned in Denmark: what the science says14:30 Babies who nap on mats at daycare vs. the reality at home16:00 Co-sleeping as a cultural norm — Anjelli's family in the Philippines17:35 Co-sleeping and breastfeeding: the practical case18:00 Annika co-slept from birth — navigating SIDS fears and feeling judged18:30 Safe co-sleeping: mother's instincts vs. father's19:25 Anjelli: started co-sleeping at 6 months, wouldn't trade it for anything21:00 The health nurse's relaxed approach — and what was missing22:00 Expat angle: visiting grandparents and unwanted advice26:30 Co-sleeping in the family: what did relatives back home think?28:20 Verdict: did they fall for sleep training?30:55 Quick-fire round: white noise, pram naps below zero, sleep apps & more32:30 "Did you ever lie to another parent about how your child sleeps?"35:30 Outro & how to reach us

SHOW NOTES:This week on Mom Brains Abroad, we're keeping it light. After last episode's heavy hitters (sleep apps, Montessori, feeding wars), we're confessing the easy trends — the cute ones, the ones we maybe did for the grandparents. From monthly milestone photos and Pinterest-worthy first birthdays to matching outfits and a rapid-fire cute-or-cringe round, we're unpacking it all.But here's the thing: these "easy" trends quietly add up — a little money, a little time, a little guilt when you stop. And as expats, some of them carry more weight than you'd expect because they're how we stay connected to family from far away.We compare birthday traditions across Denmark, Germany, and the Philippines (spoiler: one involves borrowing money for a first birthday party), share the heartbreaking story of a first birthday spent in the hospital with norovirus, and debate whether baby Instagram accounts are cute or just plain cringe.Plus: we're shaking up our episode endings and we want YOUR input. Tell us — what trend did you fall for?TIMESTAMPS:0:00 — Welcome back & the "easy" trends we're confessing today0:53 — Monthly milestone photos: did we plan for it? Did we actually do it?5:40 — The expat lens: are we doing these trends for the grandparents or for ourselves?7:29 — Pinterest first birthdays: really just a party for the parents who survived a year8:28 — Danish hygge birthdays vs. Filipino big-budget celebrations10:15 — How we actually celebrated: felt crowns, Instagram teddy trends & DIY chains14:09 — When your baby's first birthday lands in the hospital with norovirus17:13 — Mini me matching outfits: a custom dress from Vietnam & Christmas sweater plans20:56 — Lightning round! Cute or cringe: name signs, sensory bins, pregnancy announcements & more23:48 — The trap: when the cute turns into compulsory (and it's okay to let month seven go)26:18 — Danish simplicity vs. Filipino celebration culture — and why we love it here27:20 — We're changing our episode ending & we need your ideas28:45 — What's next: deep diving into parenting philosophies — gentle parenting & sleep training

Show Notes:Welcome to Episode 20 of Mom Brains Abroad! In this special episode, we're confessing every parenting trend we fell for, the ones we rolled our eyes at, and the ones we're still not sure about. We explore three big trends through our expat lens — wake windows and sleep schedules, the Montessori and beige nursery aesthetic, and baby-led weaning versus purees. We share our personal experiences with sleep tracking apps (Napper and Huckleberry), the Danish outdoor napping tradition, growing up with Steiner education and wooden toys, navigating plastic versus natural materials, and the cultural adventure of a Nepalese weaning ceremony. Plus, we wrap up with our mom high and mom low of the week. Find us on Instagram @mumbrainsabroad and leave a comment on Spotify with your verdict!Timestamps0:00 — Welcome & Episode 20 intro1:08 — Trend 1: Wake windows & sleep schedules3:50 — Experience with the Napper sleep app5:00 — Formula feeding vs breastfeeding approaches6:30 — Breastfeeding tracking & Huckleberry app8:55 — Shared Apple Notes vs dedicated apps10:55 — Danish outdoor napping vs blackout blinds & white noise13:35 — Trend 2: Montessori & the beige nursery aesthetic16:00 — Steiner education background & wooden toys18:00 — Plastic vs natural materials & BPA concerns20:00 — Growing up without toys in the Philippines21:30 — Microplastics, winter clothes & Danish brand pricing24:10 — Secondhand vs new & quality over quantity28:20 — Gender-neutral clothing & colors29:30 — Trend 3: Baby-led weaning vs purees31:40 — The Solid Starts app & Danish rye bread tradition32:40 — Nepalese weaning ceremony (300+ guests!)35:30 — Choking concerns & first aid class37:20 — Mom high: Animal visits & safari trip38:30 — Mom low: Teething & bedtime battles39:20 — Outro & where to find us

Episode SummaryAnjelli and Annika tackle the emotionally charged question of whether daycare makes mothers "better." They share personal experiences of guilt, slow transitions, and the relief that came once their daughters settled in. They compare cultural attitudes between Germany (where staying home 2–3 years is common) and Denmark (where early daycare is the norm and deeply affordable), and discuss the expat reality of raising children without extended family nearby. They explore research showing working mothers have better mental health outcomes, the gendered nature of "mom guilt," and the idea of daycare as a modern form of "the village." The episode also covers breastfeeding challenges with daycare, parental leave policy differences across countries, and the importance of flexibility and part-time options. They wrap with their weekly Mom Light and Mom Low.Timestamps:0:00Intro: Does daycare make us better moms?1:30Research: Working moms have better mental health2:10Personal guilt & slow daycare transition3:14Germany vs. Denmark daycare norms4:12Denmark's affordable daycare system8:03The "village" concept in modern parenting9:10Expat reality: no family nearby11:29Why "better moms" and not "better dads"?12:33Research on primary caregivers & first two years13:20Career impact of staying home16:40Daycare as cultural & language integration19:45Daycare ratios & staff turnover21:02Dagmama vs. institutional daycare27:20Breastfeeding challenges with daycare30:48Parental leave: Denmark vs. Germany34:30Final answer: Does daycare make us better moms?37:10Mom Light & Mom Low of the week

Show Notes:This week on Mom Brains Abroad, Angeli and Annika get honest about the baby gear they bought as expat parents in Copenhagen — the heroes they still use, the flops gathering dust, and everything in between. From baby carriers and Moon Boon hammocks to unopened IKEA beds and pricey baby monitors, they share what was worth every krone and what ended up on Facebook Marketplace. They also dive into the Danish brand culture around baby products, why shopping secondhand (or across the border in Germany and Sweden) can save you thousands, the realities of co-sleeping, and why you should wait and see what your baby actually likes before investing big.Timestamps:00:00 — Welcome back to Mom Brains Abroad 00:42 — Disclaimer: nothing is sponsored, every baby is different 00:51 — Hero items intro: what did you buy first? 01:06 — Hero #1: The Baby Lift / baby carrier 02:38 — Hero #2: Moon Boon hammock swing 04:25 — Hero #3: The stroller 04:46 — Annika's hero items: baby lift, baby carrier & white noise machine 07:20 — Flop #1: Bottles (baby wouldn't take them) 08:02 — Flop #2: Pacifiers (never needed them) 08:25 — Flop #3: Baby swing (baby wanted to be close) 09:04 — The big flop: an unopened IKEA bed 10:01 — The bed-buying struggle: secondhand hunting and junior beds 11:00 — Floor beds and the Montessori approach 11:55 — Bedside crib: flop for sleeping, hero for storage 13:15 — Co-sleeping: safe sleep science and cultural perspectives 14:55 — Flop: baby monitor (pricey and rarely used) 16:05 — Hero: wall-mounted pull-out changing table 18:10 — The overpriced baby outfit: a cute dragon onesie regret 19:30 — Lessons learned: buy less, choose zippers, go secondhand 20:50 — Denmark's baby brand culture: everyone has the same stuff 23:30 — Stroller shopping: Bugaboo vs. a German alternative 24:40 — Scoring a brand-new stroller online for less than secondhand 26:25 — The referral effect: why Danish moms all buy the same brands 28:00 — Being a foreigner without a mom network: trial and error 29:15 — It doesn't have to be expensive: flea markets, Germany & Sweden 31:00 — Baby swaddle: flop for one, hero for the other 34:00 — Hero: muslin cloths / spitting cloths 35:15 — Hero: Baby Brezza bottle sterilizer 37:00 — White noise machines, fans & sleep routines 38:50 — Sleeping bags and warm winter babies 39:30 — Mom High & Mom Low segment 40:20 — Mom Low: exhaustion and anticipating night wakings 41:30 — Mom High: feeding alpacas and sheep at a farm 42:30 — Mom Low: daughter dropping her nap 43:20 — Wrap up and see you next episode

We're back with round two of our mom friend questions — and this one goes deep. From the hobbies we miss to the boundaries we're learning to set, this conversation gets real about the things we let go of, the things we protect, and the things we're quietly proud of.In this episode:The hobbies we miss most (and the ones we're rediscovering with our toddlers)How we make time for ourselves and our relationships — including "work dates," couple games, and love languagesSetting boundaries to protect your energy: saying no, curating your words, and stepping away from social mediaDream solo trips: Italy, Spain, and why we'd never choose somewhere colder than DenmarkGetting honest about pregnancy loss, emotional processing, and why pregnancy is not a givenMum Light & Mum Low: toddler words, the "no" phase, autumn core memories, and the bittersweet of parenting abroadMentioned in this episode:DIY projects and crafting with toddlersLove languages (words of affirmation, acts of service, gift giving)Setting screen-time boundaries with kidsYoga retreats and solo travelIVF and fertility journeys

In this episode, hosts Anjelli and Annika shake up the usual mom-friend chat by asking each other five questions — some silly, some deeper — that go beyond the default sleep, food, and daycare talk. They share their current favorite non-parenting media (Danish reality TV, Untamed by Glennon Doyle, and parenting audiobooks), reflect on what they'd do with three uninterrupted hours to themselves, and discuss the advice that got them through the baby phase (accepting phases, co-sleeping, baby-wearing, free play, and avoiding comparison). They talk childhood friendships — from inner circles to low-maintenance friendships that pick up right where they left off — and laugh over chaotic first-time parenting moments. The episode wraps with their Mum-Light (a sweet reunion after a week apart and catering Copenhagen's world championship event) and Mum-Low (ear infections and teething struggles).Timestamps0:00 — Intro & episode concept 1:00 — Q1: Favorite non-parenting media (Danish reality TV, Untamed, audiobooks) 6:24 — Q2: Three uninterrupted hours to yourself 10:00 — Q3: Advice that helped in the baby phase (co-sleeping, free play, avoiding comparison) 16:49 — Q4: Childhood friendships & low-maintenance friends 24:57 — Q5: Funny chaotic parenting moments 28:59 — Mum-Light: Daughter reunion & Copenhagen championship catering 33:16 — Mum-Low: Ear infection & teething struggles 36:50 — Wrap-up & next episode teaser

In Episode 15 of Mum Brains Abroad hosts Anjelli and Annika dive into the messy, unspoken realities of motherhood — from postpartum rage and the shame that follows, to the exhaustion of sleep deprivation and the comparison trap on social media. They unpack why Denmark banned the cry-it-out method, how baby temperament plays a bigger role than any sleep training technique, and how the "no sugar, no screen" promises they swore by before becoming moms slowly crumbled. The conversation explores losing patience (especially during the night), the chaos of toddler food battles and daycare drop-offs, and the vulnerability that comes with being reborn into a new identity as a mother. They wrap up with their mom lows and highs of the week — tantrums and messy apartments on one hand, thriving toddlers at daycare on the other.Timestamps00:00 – Intro: The things nobody talks about00:20 – Postpartum rage: emotions no one prepares you for01:50 – The shame of anger vs. the empathy for depression03:30 – How long does postpartum really last? (Hint: longer than you think)04:00 – Sleep deprivation & the constant comparison trap07:30 – Denmark's ban on the cry-it-out method: the science and the guilt10:10 – Baby temperament: the missing piece in the sleep conversation12:10 – Losing patience: why it hits hardest at night14:10 – The daycare drop-off struggle: socks off, shoes off, 10 minutes lost16:00 – Breaking the "no sugar, no screen" promises we swore we'd keep18:50 – Ice cream culture in Denmark and setting food boundaries with others20:30 – Vulnerability, identity shifts, and why community matters22:00 – Mom low & mom high of the week: tantrums, mess, and thriving toddlers at daycare26:30 – Wrap-up & see you next episode

In this episode of Mum Brains Abroad, hosts Anjelli and Annika unpack whether the Danish parenting dream is real — or just a very good marketing campaign. They dig into the structural support that makes Denmark famous for family life: 52 weeks of shared parental leave, heavily subsidized childcare, a 37-hour work week, and Copenhagen ranking as the #1 most livable city in the world. But they also get honest about what the brochures don't tell you: the messy reality of parental leave pay, the loneliness of raising children far from extended family, and the cultural distance that comes with Danish reserve.Anjelli shares how growing up in the Philippines meant going back to work after just three months and relying on nannies, while Annika reflects on her German upbringing where moms stayed home for two to three years. Both discuss the guilt of sending their babies to daycare early, the universal struggle of the first postpartum year, and the mom groups and family-friendly infrastructure that help — but don't replace — having your tribe nearby. They wrap up with their mom lows (sleepless nights, teething, and medical uncertainty) and mom highs (beach trips, creative toddler activities, and falling in love with this age).TimestampTopic0:00Welcome back and episode intro — what's on the agenda0:48Danish parental leave: 52 weeks shared, 9 weeks earmarked for fathers, and the messy reality of pay2:17Childcare in Denmark: guaranteed daycare from 6 months, parents pay only 25% of real cost3:05Work-life balance: 1,380–1,560 annual working hours, 37-hour weeks, only 1–2% work 50+ hours4:00Janteloven — the Law of Jante and Danish social conformity5:00Denmark ranks 3rd in the 2026 World Happiness Report5:35Copenhagen named #1 most livable city in the world for 20266:02Is Denmark a fairytale? The myth vs. the marketing6:36The "no classrooms" myth — how one extraordinary case becomes the national narrative10:15Growing up in the Philippines: 3 months maternity leave, nannies, no daycare culture12:30Growing up in Germany: 2–3 years at home, no daycare before kindergarten14:30The guilt of early daycare and the relief of flexible work17:30Why the first postpartum year should be supported everywhere — no matter the country19:00Family-friendly infrastructure: changing tables, baby-friendly cafes, and kommune-organized mom groups21:30International moms groups and building community as an expat23:15Not romanticizing — just grateful: acknowledging privilege without dismissing the hard parts24:00What structural support can't replace: loneliness, distance from family, and missing your culture25:45Mom lows: sleepless nights, teething pain, and medical uncertainty28:30Mom highs: beach birthdays, creative toddler activities, and loving this stage29:45Outro — share your story @mumbrainsabroadFind us on Instagram: @mumbrainsabroad

The tradwife movement is everywhere on social media — but what does it actually mean, and could two moms living in Denmark actually do it? Anjelli and Annika unpack why women are drawn to traditional roles, the paradox of "modern tradwives" earning income online, and how Denmark's gender equality makes this lifestyle hard to imagine. They reflect on their own upbringing, the pressure to "do it all," and ultimately answer the big question: if money didn't matter, would they stay home?Timestamps:0:00 — What is the tradwife movement?1:33 — Why it's gaining traction now6:40 — Are men driving this too?9:10 — The modern tradwife paradox11:30 — Denmark, equality, and the death of chivalry22:00 — What our parents' marriages looked like27:30 — Could we be tradwives?33:00 — Why women need a seat at the table35:55 — Mom Light & Mom Low41:03 — OutroLet us know what your thoughts about the tradwife movementFind us on instagram @mumbrainsabroad