603 - Is My Autonomy the Problem? Listener Q&A

On this episode of the Multiamory Podcast, we're answering a listener who has been polyamorous for almost two decades, is upfront with every partner that he is non-hierarchical, and keeps running into the same problem: once a new person shows up, the partner he already has wants a say in how the new relationship goes. Is it him? Is it them? What’s going on here? We're going to talk about what a partner might be asking for when they ask for "a say," and what the research says about hierarchy, autonomy and closeness.Get 10% off sexual health supplements at vb.health with promo code MULTI.Quality lube is essential for good sexual experiences. Try our absolute favorite, ⁠Uberlube⁠ and get 10% off plus free shipping with promo code MULTIAMORYFREE TOYS OR GIFT CARDS FOR TOYS! Everyone who signs up to our giveaway with @bellesaco wins something! bbvibes.com/MultiamoryJoin our amazing community of listeners at ⁠multiamory.com/join and get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community!Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by ⁠Josh and Anand⁠Follow us on Instagram ⁠@Multiamory_Podcast⁠ and visit our website ⁠Multiamory.com⁠.We are a proud member of the ⁠Pleasure Podcasts⁠ network.

Today we're talking about missing past relationships and partners, even if they hurt you or weren't good experiences. Most advice just says to get over it, but we're going to spend some time on why you miss these people and how wanting someone and enjoying someone run on different parts of the brain, and only one of them gets the memo that they were bad for you.Join our amazing community of listeners at ⁠multiamory.com/join and get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community!FREE TOYS OR GIFT CARDS FOR TOYS! Everyone who signs up to our giveaway with @bellesaco wins something! bbvibes.com/MultiamoryGo to DIPSEASTORIES.com/MULTI for your first week FREE - then 25% off. That’s D-I-P-S-E-A STORIES DOT COM slash MULTI.Get 10% off sexual health supplements at vb.health with promo code MULTI.Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by ⁠Josh and Anand⁠Follow us on Instagram ⁠@Multiamory_Podcast⁠ and visit our website ⁠Multiamory.com⁠.We are a proud member of the ⁠Pleasure Podcasts⁠ network.

This week we're excited to welcome back Kim Tallbear to the show to talk about polyamory as a political movement. Kim TallBear (Sisseton-Wahpeton Oyate citizen) is Professor of American Indian Studies at the University of Minnesota, Twin Cities. She is the author of Native American DNA: Tribal Belonging and the False Promise of Genetic Science. In addition to studying genome science disruptions to Indigenous self-definitions, Dr. TallBear studies colonial disruptions to Indigenous sexual relations. She is also a regular media commentator on topics including Indigenous peoples, science, and technology; Indigenous sexualities; and the politics of non-monogamy. You can also follow her Substack newsletter, Unsettle: Indigenous affairs, cultural politics & (de)colonization.Join our amazing community of listeners at ⁠multiamory.com/join and get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community!FREE TOYS OR GIFT CARDS FOR TOYS! Everyone who signs up to our giveaway with @bellesaco wins something! bbvibes.com/MultiamoryIf you want to boost your confidence, land a new role, or win a promotion, check out thorholt.com, and on LinkedIn by searching Thor Holt. Quality lube is essential for good sexual experiences. Try our absolute favorite, ⁠Uberlube⁠ and get 10% off plus free shipping with promo code MULTIAMORYMultiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by ⁠Josh and Anand⁠Follow us on Instagram ⁠@Multiamory_Podcast⁠ and visit our website ⁠Multiamory.com⁠.We are a proud member of the ⁠Pleasure Podcasts⁠ network.

We're discussing hinge partners this episode, specifically what to do when a hinge partner is struggling at being a good hinge. We've got some updated research to go over since our last episode about hinges, and we'll have some actionable ways to deal with the frustration of a bad hinge.Join our amazing community of listeners at ⁠multiamory.com/join and get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community!FREE TOYS OR GIFT CARDS FOR TOYS! Everyone who signs up to our giveaway with @bellesaco wins something! bbvibes.com/MultiamoryIf you want to boost your confidence, land a new role, or win a promotion, check out thorholt.com, and on LinkedIn by searching Thor Holt. Get 10% off sexual health supplements at vb.health with promo code MULTI.Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by ⁠Josh and Anand⁠Follow us on Instagram ⁠@Multiamory_Podcast⁠ and visit our website ⁠Multiamory.com⁠.We are a proud member of the ⁠Pleasure Podcasts⁠ network.

We're tackling another listener question this episode, this time about marriage. What happens when multiple people want to marry you?If you want one of your questions answered on a future Q&A episode, consider joining our Supercast community!Get 10% off sexual health supplements at vb.health with promo code MULTI.Quality lube is essential for good sexual experiences. Try our absolute favorite, ⁠Uberlube⁠ and get 10% off plus free shipping with promo code MULTIAMORYIf you want to boost your confidence, land a new role, or win a promotion, check out thorholt.com, and on LinkedIn by searching Thor Holt. Join our amazing community of listeners at ⁠multiamory.com/join and get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community!Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by ⁠Josh and Anand⁠Follow us on Instagram ⁠@Multiamory_Podcast⁠ and visit our website ⁠Multiamory.com⁠.We are a proud member of the ⁠Pleasure Podcasts⁠ network.

This week we're diving into over-functioning in relationships and how it can actually work against us. We'll be discussing some of the research available about group projects, how anxiety affects negotiation, and how accurately (or inaccurately) we tend to estimate our own contributions to a relationship.As always, we'll go over some tips and tricks at the end to improve your relationships and work-life balance!Join our amazing community of listeners at ⁠multiamory.com/join and get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community!Go to DIPSEASTORIES.com/MULTI for your first week FREE - then 25% off. That’s D-I-P-S-E-A STORIES DOT COM slash MULTI.If you want to boost your confidence, land a new role, or win a promotion, check out thorholt.com, and on LinkedIn by searching Thor Holt. Get 10% off sexual health supplements at vb.health with promo code MULTI.Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by ⁠Josh and Anand⁠Follow us on Instagram ⁠@Multiamory_Podcast⁠ and visit our website ⁠Multiamory.com⁠.We are a proud member of the ⁠Pleasure Podcasts⁠ network.

We're excited to welcome Patrick Bex to the show this week to talk about asexuality and aromanticism! Patrick is an aroace advocate, content creator, and author best known for his Fluently Aspec social media platforms that educate about aromantic and asexual experiences.Join our amazing community of listeners at ⁠multiamory.com/join and get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community!Get 10% off sexual health supplements at vb.health with promo code MULTI.Try out Attuned, an intimacy app built for all relationship structures. Take a science-backed intimacy survey, discover how your profiles align, and explore personalized activities together. Couples, throuples, and configurations up to 6 people — all orientations, all genders. Download free at ⁠getattuned.app⁠ and use code MULTI for 20% off premium.Quality lube is essential for good sexual experiences. Try our absolute favorite, ⁠Uberlube⁠ and get 10% off plus free shipping with promo code MULTIAMORYFREE TOYS OR GIFT CARDS FOR TOYS! Everyone who signs up to our giveaway with @bellesaco wins something! bbvibes.com/MultiamoryMultiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by ⁠Josh and Anand⁠Follow us on Instagram ⁠@Multiamory_Podcast⁠ and visit our website ⁠Multiamory.com⁠.We are a proud member of the ⁠Pleasure Podcasts⁠ network.

Today we're diving into the world of OCD, specifically relationship OCD, with Sheva Rajaee.Sheva is a licensed marriage and family therapist, director of The Center for Anxiety and OCD, and the author of the book Relationship OCD. She is globally recognized for her work treating and addressing chronic doubt, commitment phobia, and anxiety in romantic relationships.Join our amazing community of listeners at ⁠multiamory.com/join and get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community!FREE TOYS OR GIFT CARDS FOR TOYS! Everyone who signs up to our giveaway with @bellesaco wins something! bbvibes.com/MultiamoryGet 10% off sexual health supplements at vb.health with promo code MULTI.Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by ⁠Josh and Anand⁠Follow us on Instagram ⁠@Multiamory_Podcast⁠ and visit our website ⁠Multiamory.com⁠.We are a proud member of the ⁠Pleasure Podcasts⁠ network.

We've got another Q&A episode this week, and this time we're answering two listener questions about sexual health and STI protocol among non-monogamous partners!Generally speaking, non-monogamous folks have better communication around safer sex and STI risk, but sometimes communication breakdowns happen and that's what we're covering today!Visit www.multiamory.com/join to become part of our exclusive community if you want your question answered on a future Q&A episode!Join our amazing community of listeners at ⁠multiamory.com/join and get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community!FREE TOYS OR GIFT CARDS FOR TOYS! Everyone who signs up to our giveaway with @bellesaco wins something! bbvibes.com/MultiamoryQuality lube is essential for good sexual experiences. Try our absolute favorite, ⁠Uberlube⁠ and get 10% off plus free shipping with promo code MULTIAMORYGet 10% off sexual health supplements at vb.health with promo code MULTI.Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by ⁠Josh and Anand⁠Follow us on Instagram ⁠@Multiamory_Podcast⁠ and visit our website ⁠Multiamory.com⁠.We are a proud member of the ⁠Pleasure Podcasts⁠ network.

Today we're diving into the internet's favorite genre of relationship advice: open up your relationship in X easy steps! We spent time gathering advice and tips from journalists, therapists, forums, coaches, and Reddit to try to gather some common knowledge and put it together into our own version of a guide to open up a relationship.Join our amazing community of listeners at ⁠multiamory.com/join and get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community!FREE TOYS OR GIFT CARDS FOR TOYS! Everyone who signs up to our giveaway with @bellesaco wins something! bbvibes.com/MultiamoryGet 10% off sexual health supplements at vb.health with promo code MULTI.Quality lube is essential for good sexual experiences. Try our absolute favorite, ⁠Uberlube⁠ and get 10% off plus free shipping with promo code MULTIAMORYGo to DIPSEASTORIES.com/MULTI for your first week FREE - then 25% off. That’s D-I-P-S-E-A STORIES DOT COM slash MULTI.Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by ⁠Josh and Anand⁠Follow us on Instagram ⁠@Multiamory_Podcast⁠ and visit our website ⁠Multiamory.com⁠.We are a proud member of the ⁠Pleasure Podcasts⁠ network.