Father Land S2E3: John Murdoch on reaching breaking point, fatherhood & life after the fires

John Murdoch likens people to rubber bands. You can only stretch them so far. And for him, the breaking point came during the drought and bushfires of 2019 and 2020. Years earlier, he’d left a career in accounting to return to the family farm in the Monaro region of New South Wales. He wanted to work alongside his dad, and build a future with his wife, Kate. Now, he was feeding livestock through drought, helping his parents through their separation, and raising a young family of his own. He felt needed everywhere. Then, in the middle of it all, his second daughter arrived five weeks early via emergency caesarean. The rubber band didn’t just snap. In John’s words, it “disintegrated into dust.” Now a father of three girls, he shares what it took to find his way through, the joy and guilt of being a farming dad, and how he’s learning to manage the anxiety he’s carried since childhood, while farming without the father he came home to work beside. Beyond Blue Mental Health Counselling: 1300 22 4636, 24 hours / 7 days a weekFather Land is proudly supported by Nutrien Ag Solutions, going further for Australian farmers. From farm supplies and agronomy advice to livestock and finance, Nutrien’s local specialists combine local know-how with the backing of one of Australia’s largest agricultural networks.Find your local branch at nutrien.com.au and see how Nutrien can go further for your farm.https://www.instagram.com/motherlandaustralia

In June this year, Nikita Hayes was home with her two little boys when their house caught fire. They escaped, but within hours, almost everything they owned was gone. Just a few months on, she’s speaking publicly in depth about what happened for the first time. But Nikita’s story begins long before that — growing up on a sprawling cattle station outside Alice Springs, going droving, meeting her husband Luke and, just eight months later, being the one to propose… and trust me, where and how she did it is a story in itself! Then came motherhood and two little boys born just 11 months apart. In this episode, Nikita opens up for the first time about her experience with postnatal depression, raising Irish twins far from family support, the terrifying night they lost almost everything, and how her family is now picking up the pieces and starting again. This is her story. PANDA helpline: 1300 726 306www.gidgetfoundation.org.auToday’s episode is proudly supported by Haakaa, creating practical products for breastfeeding, pumping, baby feeding and postpartum life. From their iconic Silicone Breast Pump to milk collectors and everyday motherhood essentials, Haakaa is designed with mums in mind. Visit haakaa.au and use the code MOTHERLAND15 for 15% off.https://www.instagram.com/motherlandaustralia

Charlie Arnott’s great-great-great-grandfather founded Arnott’s Biscuits. His grandfather helped create the Tim Tam. And Charlie became the first in five generations to forge a different path. At just 25, he unexpectedly took over his family’s farm near Boorowa in New South Wales. But behind Charlie’s life on the land is a deeply personal journey of figuring out who he is, what makes him happy, and the kind of man, husband and father he wants to be. Today, Charlie opens up about the beliefs he carried from childhood, the inner work that followed, and how it’s shaped his approach to mental health, marriage and fatherhood. He first became a stepfather before he and his wife Angelica went through IVF to welcome their daughter. Years later, their son was being carried by a surrogate in California when they received a call: their baby was arriving two months early, just as a bushfire erupted near the hospital. From an extraordinary family legacy to finding his own identity, this is his story. Father Land is proudly supported by Nutrien Ag Solutions, going further for Australian farmers. From farm supplies and agronomy advice to livestock and finance, Nutrien’s local specialists combine local know-how with the backing of one of Australia’s largest agricultural networks.Find your local branch at nutrien.com.au and see how Nutrien can go further for your farm.https://www.instagram.com/motherlandaustralia

Kristie Bargenquast was pregnant with her son, Mitchell, when she went searching for answers about her own health. Everyday movements were becoming harder, and when Mitchell was just over a year old, Kristie was diagnosed with limb-girdle muscular dystrophy, a rare genetic condition causing progressive muscle weakness. Suddenly, she was navigating new motherhood alongside a disability that was changing what her body could do. Today, Mitchell is 11 and has become her beautiful right-hand man, instinctively stepping in when she needs help. Living in Queensland’s South Burnett, Kristie also struggled to find work that could accommodate her declining mobility, so she created her own opportunity. Now running a thriving bookkeeping business from home, Kristie shares her fears for the future and the promising new treatment giving her fresh hope.Motherland Village is now open for October! Motherland Village is our six-week online mothers’ group program, connecting small groups of rural mums to share honestly, feel supported and build meaningful friendships. This October, we’re welcoming mums with children aged 0–3 and 4–10 years. If cost is a barrier, free scholarships are available, no questions asked. You can also nominate another rural mum for a scholarship. Head to motherlandaustralia.com.au to learn more and apply.https://www.instagram.com/motherlandaustralia

Brendan Cullen lived 600 kilometres from the nearest beach when he decided to become an open-water swimmer. Training before dawn in lakes and dams, he went on to swim the English Channel in 2022 - spending 17 hours in the water and covering 64 kilometres. But Brendan will tell you that wasn’t the hardest thing he’s ever done. A lifelong sheep and cattle farmer from Broken Hill, Brendan spent decades carrying childhood trauma he didn’t speak about. In 2015, struggling with depression, he walked into Broken Hill Base Hospital and said: “I need help.” It changed his life - and the kind of husband and father he was able to become. In this deeply personal conversation, Brendan opens up about parts of his story he hasn’t spoken about in this way before - including how farming, trauma and mental health has shaped his experience of fatherhood, and what asking for help gave back to him and his family.This episode features conversations about mental health and depression. If you need help, please call Lifeline on 13 11 14Father Land is proudly supported by Nutrien Ag Solutions, going further for Australian farmers. From farm supplies and agronomy advice to livestock and finance, Nutrien’s local specialists combine local know-how with the backing of one of Australia’s largest agricultural networks.Find your local branch at nutrien.com.au and see how Nutrien can go further for your farm.https://www.instagram.com/motherlandaustralia

Amie Penny was born and raised in suburban Sydney and was building a promising career at Macquarie Bank when one weekend on a family farm near Cowra changed everything. Within a month, she’d quit her job and moved into a rundown farmhouse with no job, no real plan and no idea how to farm. It was there she met her husband Jason, but building the life they wanted would take almost 15 years, countless moves and plenty of sacrifice. Amie raised their two children largely without a village while Jason worked away, with their son Cooper attending six different primary schools as the family chased work around Queensland. Today, Amie runs around 1,200 Angus cattle across several properties near Gunnedah. On this episode of Motherland, she opens up about learning to farm from scratch, raising children without family support and why the life people now call “lucky” was anything but. This is her story.Alcohol at any stage of pregnancy can harm a baby's development. If you're pregnant, planning a pregnancy, or supporting someone, visit everymomentmatters.org.au for trusted, evidence-based information. It's been developed by the Foundation for Alcohol Research and Education and endorsed and funded by the Australian Government.https://www.instagram.com/motherlandaustralia

Fiona Bryant always knew she wanted to be a mum — she just didn't know how hard she'd have to fight for it. After a polycystic ovaries diagnosis, Fiona faced years of fertility treatment, multiple miscarriages and gruelling trips to IVF appointments, all while keeping much of her struggle private. Today, she and her husband Mark have five children and run a farm in central New South Wales. In this episode, Fiona reflects on raising her family, embracing her role as a stay-at-home mum, and supporting her teenage son through a diabetes diagnosis. Now, as her kids start leaving home, she's training to become a midwife... determined to bring better maternity care to rural women like herself. This is her story. Alcohol at any stage of pregnancy can harm a baby's development. If you're pregnant, planning a pregnancy, or supporting someone, visit everymomentmatters.org.au for trusted, evidence-based information. It's been developed by the Foundation for Alcohol Research and Education and endorsed and funded by the Australian Government.https://www.instagram.com/motherlandaustralia

During one of Melbourne’s lockdowns in 2020, Jess Guthrie’s friend convinced her to apply for a little show called Farmer Wants a Wife. Jess and Andrew met on the show, spent 11 months navigating a long-distance relationship and eventually built a life together in Dalgety, in the Snowy Mountains. They married in March 2024 and soon began trying for the baby Jess had dreamed of for years. But becoming parents wasn’t straightforward. At 23, after more than a decade of debilitating periods, Jess had been diagnosed with stage four endometriosis. She knew falling pregnant could be difficult, but she wasn’t prepared for the emotional and logistical toll of fertility treatment from the bush. After an early pregnancy loss, months of treatment and countless long-distance trips for blood tests and scans, Jess finally saw the positive test she had been waiting for. Today, she and Andrew are parents to little Gracie. On this episode of Motherland, Jess opens up about the reality behind reality television, endometriosis, rural fertility treatment and finding joy in a chapter she once feared might never come. This is her story. Pregnancy loss support: pinkelephants.org.auendometriosisaustralia.orgAlcohol at any stage of pregnancy can harm a baby's development. If you're pregnant, planning a pregnancy, or supporting someone, visit everymomentmatters.org.au for trusted, evidence-based information. It's been developed by the Foundation for Alcohol Research and Education and endorsed and funded by the Australian Government.https://www.instagram.com/motherlandaustralia

At 21, Liz thought she was building a business, a relationship and a future. Three years later, she walked away carrying debts in her name that she hadn't created and questioning everything she once believed about herself. Liz grew up in Queensland's cattle industry, studied agribusiness and built a career in feedlots and property management. But as her relationship became increasingly toxic and controlling, she slowly lost confidence in herself. Leaving meant rebuilding financially and emotionally, learning to trust herself again, and raising her son without the family life she had imagined. Today, she's helping manage four family properties in Queensland's Western Downs while raising her two-year-old son on her own. She's sharing her story to help other women.1800RESPECT (1800 737 732) This is a 24-hour national sexual assault, family and domestic violence counselling line. Alcohol at any stage of pregnancy can harm a baby's development. If you're pregnant, planning a pregnancy, or supporting someone, visit everymomentmatters.org.au for trusted, evidence-based information. It's been developed by the Foundation for Alcohol Research and Education and endorsed and funded by the Australian Government.https://www.instagram.com/motherlandaustralia

Nine years ago, Georgie Cavanagh was living in Sydney, working in influencer marketing while building her French linen and homewares brand, Carlotta + Gee. Farm life was the furthest thing from her life plan. But during a work trip to Orange, she met a bloke named Curtis at the local pub. After a year of long distance, Georgie fell pregnant with their first child and packed up her Sydney life to move to his family’s cattle and cropping property near Narromine. The isolation hit hard after their daughter Amelia was born. Now, two and a half years later, Georgie and Curtis have welcomed their second child, seven-month-old Sinclair, and are planning their wedding for early next year. But after navigating a move to the country, first-time motherhood and the isolation of farm life, Georgie says nothing prepared her for her biggest adjustment yet: going from one child to two. This is her story. Use the code MOTHERLANDGEORGIE for 10% all Carlotta + Gee Water safety isn't something we think about once a year—it deserves our attention all year round. On farms, drowning risks can include dams, tanks, troughs and creeks. Visit kidsafevic.com.au for free, practical resources to help keep children safe around water.https://www.instagram.com/motherlandaustralia